I have the feeling of doubt about being saved(testimony included)

[MyLordsServant]

I feel like I need to ask people for forgiveness, but I don't know what for. Meaning, I don't remember what I've done. 

I remember calling my sister names, but should I ask for forgiveness 10 years later? I've recently accepted Jesus Christ as my master and the savior who gave his life, that I may keep mine. 

I've always been loyal to my parents an honor them. But recently my uncle an elder of the church, said before I get married, I have to ask parents for forgiveness. But for what?

I've asked and cried for forgiveness Contemplatively(In my mind), after accepting Jesus. I felt deep guilt and wept. I'm not a vocal person, but see myself as a mind/thinker rather. So when I sing, I sing in my heart and pray in my heart, all throughout the day. Not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. My singing voice is absolutely garbage, and it annoys even me to hear it. Even talking I annoy myself. God probably doesn't want to hear a scratchy, out of tune voice praising him. I know I can do it better in my spirit. 

So I may as well give a bit of a testimony: I grew up in a strict Christian family. Which made me hate church and everything to do with it. Forced to go 5 times a week, 2 hours a service. I've always kept to myself, with a tough guy attitude, but inwardly loving. Always straight face, rare emotion display. I wasn't allowed to any non-Christian friends, so most of my child/young adulthood I was alone with my thoughts. No t.v., games, etc.  But after I moved out and turned to the sinful world, is when I felt free, and when I started slowly turning back. Not to Christianity right away. I gathered my spiritual thoughts about the world. I was mildly into meditation, philosophy, astral projection, etc. The typical nature-freak stuff. However up until about a week ago, at work I started listening to a Bible audiobook. I have 8 hours of spare time to listen, and after being bored of music and everything else. I finally decided to give the Bible a go. Which opened my eyes. I've read the Bible before, but never like this. I realized who Jesus was, and how amazing his gift was. My change wasn't immediate. I didn't jump up and shout, "I believe in you Jesus". But over a few days, reading each Biblical book, one after the other. I found myself believing. In my heart I genuinely said, I believe in you Jesus, you are my savior. Multiple times I repeated it in my mind(next paragraph I'll try to describe why and how my mind works). After that over the next few days, I asked for for the holy spirit. I begged for it, saying I need it God. For the past week, since I've been saved. I have not gone a day without shedding a tear. I'll listen to worship music, and I'll let my tears flow. I'll think about Jesus dying on the cross; I'll weep heavily. Last night, I wept the most when I cried to Jesus begging for forgiveness. I can barely write all of this without weeping as I am now. Listening to music and crying, I feel peace, and I want to cry more. Crying for repentance, it hurts my heart. My heart hurts now I as I write.

Today for 24 hours I dedicated my time to a fasting. No water, no food, only air(and the word of God). I dedicated this fasting to forgiveness. Forgiveness of my sins, and others. I bow, pray and ask for signs and forgiveness. But recently I've watched a video, where I realized the smallest sin will earn me the lake of fire. I want to make sure my soul is clean and pure. But I doubt, because I feel I need to ask forgiveness of others. But I don't know for what. Should I ask even if for nothing? Or have those sins been washed away? I have forgiven everyone (as far as I 'know' ).  

I feel like I have the Holy spirit, yet I doubt. I've never been this open-hearted. I've had a few 'mild-signs' over the past week. Those being, my body felt like it froze up for a few seconds, while I wept listening to praise music. Another time, my right hand was on my heart, while I laid in bed and wept for forgiveness. After about 15 minutes into my prayer, my hand went numb. Only the part of my hand that was on my heart. My other hand was on my stomach, almost equal position, so I don't see it being cutoff circulation. I get chills/bumps, not from being cold, but while listening to music usually or something spiritual related. After which tear up.  

My mind is dangerous and deep. Dangerous I say, because I feel I can think too deeply. Which can be a blessing and a curse. It makes people less humble and innocent. Which is making repentance extra hard for me. My mind thinks on multiple levels at once. This is hard to explain. Not multi-tasking, but very deep, all thoughts in my mind at once-comprehension. A probable contribution from being raised as a thinker. I believe it's partially aware-subconscious thought, interwoven with regular conscious. Meaning I think equally with my subconscious and conscious.

Even as I write this now, I question myself and try to think really deep, to make sure none of what I write here is out of pride. I sometimes feel I have sins in my heart that don't even have a name, or exist outside of my mind. Just being the way my mind works. I feel like I sin, and I don't know what to ask for forgiveness, as I don't know the name for the sin. I wish I was simple minded.

This is a lot, I vented half way through, but I hope someone has some encouraging words. If not, hopefully my testimony opens someones eyes.

May God bless all of your spirits.

 

[angels4u]

Welcome to Worthy

This is the welcome section,after 5 posts you may post in the forum

[angels4u]

Quote

In the Ascended Master Teachings, Ascended Masters are believed to be spiritually enlightened beings who in past incarnations were ordinary humans, but who have undergone a series of spiritual transformations originally called initiations.

May I ask you why you picked your profile name ?

[MyLordsServant]

11 minutes ago, angels4u said:

May I ask you why you picked your profile name ?

I don't believe ascended masters are incarnations, that's leaning towards the Hindu and Buddhist view. Ascended Masters to me, are more like prophets in the Bible who have been enlightened and ascended to heaven.

As for 333, I included it as I've been seeing it my whole life. At least 4-5 times a day, in extra-ordinary instances. Where I definitely payed attention to it, as more than mere numbers. Ever since I was around 8 years old, up until now(in my 20's). 

This is one thing I've never doubted. And a simple way for me to know that is, even if a person looks for it willingly, they will most likely not find a three digit sequence, more than 2 times in a day(for over 15 years). I've tried looking for it, but it never shows up. Only when I'm unaware, my head will turn straight towards it unwillingly. 

Edited October 18, 2017 by AscendedMasters333

[KPaulG]

Welcome.

[angels4u]

Quote

Ascended Masters to me, are more like prophets in the Bible who have been enlightened and ascended to heaven.

But you did not ascended to heaven ?

As for those numbers ,do you think they mean something to you?

 

 

[MyLordsServant]

1 minute ago, angels4u said:

But you did not ascended to heaven ?

As for those numbers ,do you think they mean something to you?

 

 

No, that's why I put Master's', not Master. It's not personally specific. Just as you're not an Angel, yet your name has Angel in it.

From the research I've done, the numbers are a sign of angels or guides watching out for me.

[OneLight]

Welcome ... I moved this from the Welcome Forum as it was going far beyond saying Hi.

[warrior12]

6 hours ago, AscendedMasters333 said:

But recently I've watched a video, where I realized the smallest sin will earn me the lake of fire. I want to make sure my soul is clean and pure. But I doubt, because I feel I need to ask forgiveness of others. But I don't know for what. Should I ask even if for nothing? Or have those sins been washed away? I have forgiven everyone (as far as I 'know' ). 

Ok, so you have believed in your heart and confessed with your tongue that Jesus Christ is Lord.   This is what makes the devil and demons tremble and they would subtly try to woo you back into their domain.  They may plant thoughts or ideas that would lead you to be worried about your salvation and maybe you are not saved ect.   When you confessed of  your sins to the Lord, you realized he has forgiven you now and that is all that is warranted for your eternal salvation, not on some past sins that you have done.  It is all forgiven when you submitted your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and master.

There are some teachers out there that teaches this idea, that you have to ask for forgiveness from everyone that you have sin against and it goes back to the sins of the 4th generation where you can be inherit sins as  in the scripture below.

Deuteronomy 5:9KJV

Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.

 

You have to believe that you are forgiven of all your sins by the one who can forgive and knows your heart.  Remember,  the christian life on this earth will be till you die and you would have ample time to meet the people as you go along and as you mature or as Paul said, you are stop drinking milk and start to eat meat.  You would go through the trials of life and of the christian life that would see you repenting for sins that you would yet commit as we are not free of sin of this flesh till we are in heaven.   Concentrate on reading the gospels and let the word reveal how we are to continue to live our earthly life here.  This scripture verse states clearly where the christian is with sin in this life here today.

 

⁹ But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.

¹⁰ And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

 

Edited October 18, 2017 by warrior12

[Neighbor]

7 hours ago, AscendedMasters333 said:

I feel like I need to ask people for forgiveness, but I don't know what for. Meaning, I don't remember what I've done. 

I remember calling my sister names, but should I ask for forgiveness 10 years later? I've recently accepted Jesus Christ as my master and the savior who gave his life, that I may keep mine. 

I've always been loyal to my parents an honor them. But recently my uncle an elder of the church, said before I get married, I have to ask parents for forgiveness. But for what?

I've asked and cried for forgiveness Contemplatively(In my mind), after accepting Jesus. I felt deep guilt and wept. I'm not a vocal person, but see myself as a mind/thinker rather. So when I sing, I sing in my heart and pray in my heart, all throughout the day. Not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. My singing voice is absolutely garbage, and it annoys even me to hear it. Even talking I annoy myself. God probably doesn't want to hear a scratchy, out of tune voice praising him. I know I can do it better in my spirit. 

So I may as well give a bit of a testimony: I grew up in a strict Christian family. Which made me hate church and everything to do with it. Forced to go 5 times a week, 2 hours a service. I've always kept to myself, with a tough guy attitude, but inwardly loving. Always straight face, rare emotion display. I wasn't allowed to any non-Christian friends, so most of my child/young adulthood I was alone with my thoughts. No t.v., games, etc.  But after I moved out and turned to the sinful world, is when I felt free, and when I started slowly turning back. Not to Christianity right away. I gathered my spiritual thoughts about the world. I was mildly into meditation, philosophy, astral projection, etc. The typical nature-freak stuff. However up until about a week ago, at work I started listening to a Bible audiobook. I have 8 hours of spare time to listen, and after being bored of music and everything else. I finally decided to give the Bible a go. Which opened my eyes. I've read the Bible before, but never like this. I realized who Jesus was, and how amazing his gift was. My change wasn't immediate. I didn't jump up and shout, "I believe in you Jesus". But over a few days, reading each Biblical book, one after the other. I found myself believing. In my heart I genuinely said, I believe in you Jesus, you are my savior. Multiple times I repeated it in my mind(next paragraph I'll try to describe why and how my mind works). After that over the next few days, I asked for for the holy spirit. I begged for it, saying I need it God. For the past week, since I've been saved. I have not gone a day without shedding a tear. I'll listen to worship music, and I'll let my tears flow. I'll think about Jesus dying on the cross; I'll weep heavily. Last night, I wept the most when I cried to Jesus begging for forgiveness. I can barely write all of this without weeping as I am now. Listening to music and crying, I feel peace, and I want to cry more. Crying for repentance, it hurts my heart. My heart hurts now I as I write.

Today for 24 hours I dedicated my time to a fasting. No water, no food, only air(and the word of God). I dedicated this fasting to forgiveness. Forgiveness of my sins, and others. I bow, pray and ask for signs and forgiveness. But recently I've watched a video, where I realized the smallest sin will earn me the lake of fire. I want to make sure my soul is clean and pure. But I doubt, because I feel I need to ask forgiveness of others. But I don't know for what. Should I ask even if for nothing? Or have those sins been washed away? I have forgiven everyone (as far as I 'know' ).  

I feel like I have the Holy spirit, yet I doubt. I've never been this open-hearted. I've had a few 'mild-signs' over the past week. Those being, my body felt like it froze up for a few seconds, while I wept listening to praise music. Another time, my right hand was on my heart, while I laid in bed and wept for forgiveness. After about 15 minutes into my prayer, my hand went numb. Only the part of my hand that was on my heart. My other hand was on my stomach, almost equal position, so I don't see it being cutoff circulation. I get chills/bumps, not from being cold, but while listening to music usually or something spiritual related. After which tear up.  

My mind is dangerous and deep. Dangerous I say, because I feel I can think too deeply. Which can be a blessing and a curse. It makes people less humble and innocent. Which is making repentance extra hard for me. My mind thinks on multiple levels at once. This is hard to explain. Not multi-tasking, but very deep, all thoughts in my mind at once-comprehension. A probable contribution from being raised as a thinker. I believe it's partially aware-subconscious thought, interwoven with regular conscious. Meaning I think equally with my subconscious and conscious.

Even as I write this now, I question myself and try to think really deep, to make sure none of what I write here is out of pride. I sometimes feel I have sins in my heart that don't even have a name, or exist outside of my mind. Just being the way my mind works. I feel like I sin, and I don't know what to ask for forgiveness, as I don't know the name for the sin. I wish I was simple minded.

This is a lot, I vented half way through, but I hope someone has some encouraging words. If not, hopefully my testimony opens someones eyes.

May God bless all of your spirits.

 

Hi,

Okay I read your post including the tstimony. I have read the responses. BUT hey wait a minute, what is with the title of the thread?-

"I have the feeling of doubt about being saved(testimony included)"

Nice testimony  I follow it,  even identify wth some of it, but what is the issue within it that has you doubting? Is it just  your sister being called "names"? Do you think there are steps to salvation required of you  that are as yet unfulfilled in your own actions to date? If so might you identify them, and decide if you want to share what they are?

Personally I don't think  your having called your sister names is the issue if there is one.  Still if you think your having called her names is hurting her today  and your relationship with her  today, by all means tell her you are sorry. But I don't see that as  an impediment to your salvation, obedience maybe, a missed opportunity to date for sharing of your testimony with your sister, perhaps. Even witnessing to your sister might be a need for her; but I think maybe there is another subject that has been giving you cause for your "concern". Could that be?  And what is it about this video you watched? How is it the smallest sin is going to make you lose your salvation? Is that what you think, that you  can/will  lose your salvation every time you sin?

Edited October 18, 2017 by Neighbor