Why I left my church and family.

[Guest PinkBelt]

On 7/15/2018 at 11:38 AM, Estrella said:

Hello PinkBelt, just to say that i understand the difficulties you went through growing up where you did and the kind of marriage you dealt with and the church. Sure, no one is perfect and to obey Christ 100% is no bed of roses, but by God's mercy and grace, we want to finish the race we have started in Christ. Salvation is in Christ alone. I pray that you would find a bible believing church that has Christ as the centre and as the head of church. Prayerfully, you would continue your walk in Christ, also for your daughter to be in Christ. God bless.

I appreciate your well wishes.

[HikerMom]

Hi Pinkbelt... I agree with Estrella and DebP.. I hope you will find a more Biblical church.     The one you are involved with doesn’t seem to have sound doctrine at all.   The truth is SO important.  Jesus said the truth will set you free.  Believing in lies can destroy your life.  I don’t think any human being has Scriptire interpreted perfectly, but your particular church sounds way off and that’s detrimental to your relationship with Christ.  We must worship in Spirit and truth.  Sticking with God’s truth isn’t popular but his truth brings life both here and in eternity.                                                      

As for the situation with your parents, I do feel for you.  I did have to cut off communication with my father 10 years ago.  The abuse was so horrible that I knew I couldn’t be a good mom and always be trying to recover from his abuse at the same times.   It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.    I’m not saying I think it’s the right decision in your case.  I would say be careful and make sure you don’t have unforgiveness in your heart because it will spill over into all areas of your life if that’s the case.  

It seems to me that you are looking for validation of your decisions which indicates to me that quite possibly you don’t feel so certain about them?  Saying a prayer for you!!

Edited July 19, 2018 by HikerMom

[Chrisy]

On 7/14/2018 at 7:26 AM, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

Tough time Aunt. Some parents are a bit insensitive and controlling but i'm glad u turned out the way u did. Now u know God and that's what matters. Ur former hubby does not deserve someone as awesome as u are. But u shouldn't have married someone u didn't love. Hope u have a new church in Canada. Just know u can count on ME to stand by u when things get rough. U can tell me anything and i'll pray for u too. 

Say hi to ur daughter 4 me and also to ya BF for me.

[Fidei Defensor]

I am glad you have found peace. God bless you in your new freedom from bitterness ( of your old church and family). 

[Debp]

12 hours ago, Chrisy said:

Tough time Aunt. Some parents are a bit insensitive and controlling but i'm glad u turned out the way u did. Now u know God and that's what matters. Ur former hubby does not deserve someone as awesome as u are. But u shouldn't have married someone u didn't love. Hope u have a new church in Canada. Just know u can count on ME to stand by u when things get rough. U can tell me anything and i'll pray for u too. 

Say hi to ur daughter 4 me and also to ya BF for me.

Chrisy, did you look at the website of the Red Letter movement that Pinkbelt is following?  It is a very liberal movement....no mention of salvation through Christ or any other things that Christians believe in.    The website even posted a concern that abortion would be over turned!!!

Not every "movement" is really following Christ although they claim to.   That is why we are encouraging Pinkbelt to seek a loving, supportive but Bible believing church.   Not every church is like the one she was raised in.

[Guest Butero]

On ‎7‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 2:26 AM, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

What you promote is not Biblical Christianity, and you are in Canada living with your boyfriend.  I can't understand why you care about American politics.  Why not just move on and be a good Canadian?  I am just asking.  Are you and your boyfriend married?   I am just wondering.  Enquiring minds and all.  I never forgot your testimony.