wanting another baby

[Thewhitedove]

I have a two year old and four year old with my husband (non believer). We live far from family so dont get any help, but I don't feel like I am struggling. I have always wanted a big family but my husband says that he is done. He has a lower capacity for the stress of having two young children and I know he would be devasated if I got pregnant again.

I, on the other hand, would love another and lately cannot stop thinking about being pregnant again. I have been praying about this for about six months and the longing goes for a while, then comes back stronger than before.

I do not want to influence my husband in any way or for him to feel he should agree to another child to make me happy. I have prayed that if we are to have another, it should come from my husband. Should I just keep waiting either for him to change his mind or for the menopause to come (whichever comes ffirst! ). I want to do God's will but don't know 'how' to. I also want to submit to my husband and not do anything that would harm his mental health.

Is this longing for another child a cross to bear? Im 37 in a few months and while Im not ancient, my family has a history of early menopause and complications with older mothers and their babies.

The yearing is strong and I am starting to get upst when I see people I know having a third, which I know is so sinful when I have been blessed with two delightful and healthy little darlings. Honestly, I thank God every single night for my kids but I don'tdon't feel like my family is complete. I feel like I need some kind of strategy in terms of my interaction with the Lord on this matter. I have told Him everything that is on my heart but don't know what to do next.

 

Thanks for reading!

[lovethelord]

Hi TheWhiteDove (this is a lovely name by the way)

I can understand your yearning for more children as I only have one child and way passed child bearing years, but oh I truly wished i was able to have more.  Please continue to thank God for what He has provided you. He is our powerful Lord and he answers all prayers that are in His will.  God is good and loves you and knows the pain you are feeling. Continue to focus on your precious children and embrace the wonderful family you have. Remember, God tells us not to worry about tomorrow as today has it's own set of problems.  Tomorrow, can bring a change of heart to your husband.  God is in Control.

"Not that i speak in respect of want: for i have learned, in whatsoever state that i am, therewith to be content."  Phillipians 4:11 

[Thewhitedove]

1 hour ago, lovethelord said:

Hi TheWhiteDove (this is a lovely name by the way)

I can understand your yearning for more children as I only have one child and way passed child bearing years, but oh I truly wished i was able to have more.  Please continue to thank God for what He has provided you. He is our powerful Lord and he answers all prayers that are in His will.  God is good and loves you and knows the pain you are feeling. Continue to focus on your precious children and embrace the wonderful family you have. Remember, God tells us not to worry about tomorrow as today has it's own set of problems.  Tomorrow, can bring a change of heart to your husband.  God is in Control.

"Not that i speak in respect of want: for i have learned, in whatsoever state that i am, therewith to be content."  Phillipians 4:11 

Perfect. Thank you. All totally true.

[BeauJangles]

6 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I have a two year old and four year old with my husband (non believer). We live far from family so dont get any help, but I don't feel like I am struggling. I have always wanted a big family but my husband says that he is done. He has a lower capacity for the stress of having two young children and I know he would be devastated if I got pregnant again. 

I, on the other hand, would love another and lately cannot stop thinking about being pregnant again. I have been praying about this for about six months and the longing goes for a while, then comes back stronger than before.

I do not want to influence my husband in any way for him to feel he should agree to another child to make me happy. I have prayed that if we are to have another, it should come from my husband. Should I just keep waiting either for him to change his mind or for the menopause to come (whichever comes ffirst! ). I want to do God's will but don't know 'how' to. I also want to submit to my husband and not do anything that would harm his mental heath. 

Is this longing for another child a cross to bear? Im 37 in a few months and while Im not ancient, my family has a history of early menopause and complications with older mothers and their babies.

The yearing is strong and I am starting to get upst when I see people I know having a third, which I know is so sinful when I have been blessed with two delightful and healthy little darlings. Honestly, I thank God every single night for my kids but I don'tdon't feel like my family is complete. I feel I need some kind of strategy in terms with my interaction with the Lord in this manner. I have told Him everything that is on my heart but don't know what to do next.

 

Thanks for reading!

In gleaning these key factor thoughts, it's admirable the willingness to submit to your husband, though not a believer. This is no easy thing for you as his spouse, and is commendable. From the message I'm getting, the desires you have for another child, do not supersede that of his wishes in the matter. This is pleasing to the Lord, and if you ask of Him in all sincerity, He will give you more than sufficient thankfulness for the blessings already bestowed upon both of you. The last statement highlighted however, would bring you to be mindful that it's not profitable to try and 'make a deal' with God. I could be reading more into what is emphasized, however. God bless you. Try and be content with what you have. It's beautiful as is. 

[Willa]

Yes we are told to be content with what we have, there is great godliness in contentment.  It usually refers to material things, but it applies to most anything.  We should be thankful in all things.  Thanksgiving will help.  

[Thewhitedove]

Thank you BeauJangles. No I didnt mean a deal (at all lol) but more a mindset, an outlook, a way to frame my thoughts biblically and move on. The overarching 'strategy' I have picked up on here is to be content with what I have, and rightly so!

Thanks.

[missmuffet]

11 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I have a two year old and four year old with my husband (non believer). We live far from family so dont get any help, but I don't feel like I am struggling. I have always wanted a big family but my husband says that he is done. He has a lower capacity for the stress of having two young children and I know he would be devasated if I got pregnant again.

I, on the other hand, would love another and lately cannot stop thinking about being pregnant again. I have been praying about this for about six months and the longing goes for a while, then comes back stronger than before.

I do not want to influence my husband in any way or for him to feel he should agree to another child to make me happy. I have prayed that if we are to have another, it should come from my husband. Should I just keep waiting either for him to change his mind or for the menopause to come (whichever comes ffirst! ). I want to do God's will but don't know 'how' to. I also want to submit to my husband and not do anything that would harm his mental health.

Is this longing for another child a cross to bear? Im 37 in a few months and while Im not ancient, my family has a history of early menopause and complications with older mothers and their babies.

The yearing is strong and I am starting to get upst when I see people I know having a third, which I know is so sinful when I have been blessed with two delightful and healthy little darlings. Honestly, I thank God every single night for my kids but I don'tdon't feel like my family is complete. I feel like I need some kind of strategy in terms of my interaction with the Lord on this matter. I have told Him everything that is on my heart but don't know what to do next.

 

Thanks for reading!

You and your husband have different views on how many children you want. This can bring problems in the marriage. The other fact that can bring problems in your marriage is that you are not evenly yoked. You should count your blessing because you have two children. Many husbands and wives who want children can not have them. It is good that you have prayed about this. 

[Thewhitedove]

Abdicate,

You have hit the nail on the head. I have been growing deeper and deeper in my faith lately and really making headway in my prayer,  especially prayers for my husband to be saved, when the strong urge to have a baby came back with force and consumed me all day. I prayed about it and thought about it all day and my husband's soul didnt get a mention. I wonder if the enemy has been trying to distract me! I am going to be thankful for my kids and leave the future in Gods hand while I continurle to go to war for my husband's soul, which I had been doing up until yesterday when I turned to mush thinking about a new baby, when the most important new birth should be that of my husband.

[Thewhitedove]

Miss Muffet,

Thank you for your response. I now see that the enemy has been trying to distract me from my usual non stop, continuous, daily prayers for my husband's soul.  I spent yesterday praying about babies and thinking about being pregnant and neglected to fight for my husband in the spiritual realm. I will indeed be grateful for my abundant blessings and repent for yesterday.

2 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

You and your husband have different views on how many children you want. This can bring problems in the marriage. The other fact that can bring problems in your marriage is that you are not evenly yoked. You should count your blessing because you have two children. Many husbands and wives who want children can not have them. It is good that you have prayed about this. 

 

[missmuffet]

2 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said:

Miss Muffet,

Thank you for your response. I now see that the enemy has been trying to distract me from my usual non stop, continuous, daily prayers for my husband's soul.  I spent yesterday praying about babies and thinking about being pregnant and neglected to fight for my husband in the spiritual realm. I will indeed be grateful for my abundant blessings and repent for yesterday.

 

You can not save your husband. Only God can open the heart of your husband. Be a Christian example for your husband. Perhaps he can see God through you and what being a Christian is all about. Continue to pray for your husband.