What qualities should I look for in a person when dating?

[JoniSteele]

On 8/3/2019 at 4:33 AM, SoDoSoPa said:

I got in contact with a girl online a bit over two weeks ago. Since first writing to her, we have been chatting daily and talked over the phone a few times. We will soon meet for the first time.

We are both Christian and we both like each other thus far. She has been very nice, funny and enjoyable to talk to over the phone. I really wish that we continue to like each other when we meet and I hope that we become partners sometime in the future.

However, to be honest, from a worldly perspective, she is not great. She has a history of mental ill-health, is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, didn't finish high school, has never had a job, etc.

On the other hand, she has a great personality, is very honest and cares a lot about finding a partner who's Christian. She currently has no Christian family members or friends, so it's a real blessing from God that she found Christ.

But I'm not sure what qualities to look for in a future partner. Is it enough that she's a confessing Christian and that we are attracted to each other? I really believe that we can be bless each other's lives, even if she hasn't been successful from a worldly perspective.

While it is important that there be a physical attraction there let one of your priorities be a beauty of the heart. Also, lots of people with mental challenges go on to have healthy relationships. Don't let this discourage you.

[missmuffet]

On 8/3/2019 at 1:33 AM, SoDoSoPa said:

I got in contact with a girl online a bit over two weeks ago. Since first writing to her, we have been chatting daily and talked over the phone a few times. We will soon meet for the first time.

We are both Christian and we both like each other thus far. She has been very nice, funny and enjoyable to talk to over the phone. I really wish that we continue to like each other when we meet and I hope that we become partners sometime in the future.

However, to be honest, from a worldly perspective, she is not great. She has a history of mental ill-health, is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, didn't finish high school, has never had a job, etc.

On the other hand, she has a great personality, is very honest and cares a lot about finding a partner who's Christian. She currently has no Christian family members or friends, so it's a real blessing from God that she found Christ.

But I'm not sure what qualities to look for in a future partner. Is it enough that she's a confessing Christian and that we are attracted to each other? I really believe that we can be bless each other's lives, even if she hasn't been successful from a worldly perspective.

It would be a risk. Personally I think that many who are mentally ill are not well enough to get married and have children. You can pray for her. 

[other one]

On 8/3/2019 at 3:33 AM, SoDoSoPa said:

I got in contact with a girl online a bit over two weeks ago. Since first writing to her, we have been chatting daily and talked over the phone a few times. We will soon meet for the first time.

We are both Christian and we both like each other thus far. She has been very nice, funny and enjoyable to talk to over the phone. I really wish that we continue to like each other when we meet and I hope that we become partners sometime in the future.

However, to be honest, from a worldly perspective, she is not great. She has a history of mental ill-health, is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, didn't finish high school, has never had a job, etc.

On the other hand, she has a great personality, is very honest and cares a lot about finding a partner who's Christian. She currently has no Christian family members or friends, so it's a real blessing from God that she found Christ.

But I'm not sure what qualities to look for in a future partner. Is it enough that she's a confessing Christian and that we are attracted to each other? I really believe that we can be bless each other's lives, even if she hasn't been successful from a worldly perspective.

Two weeks ago.....  that's not much time to be thinking of permanent partners for life....    but you do have to start somewhere, but just don't rush....   and that's not going to be easy if you live that far apart.   Don't worry about that worldly perspective, but take the time to make sure her lifestyle is compatible with yours.   I know some Christian ladies that would drive me crazy to have to live with.  LoL

The most important thing to me in a marriage partner besides being a true believer is an open trust between the two people.    And remember that if you are going to be the kind of husband that Jesus told us to be, you have to consider he told us that we must love our wives as much as he loves us....    Consider what that means...   He left a position of being God to become a man and let someone beat him half to death then hang him on a cross to die....        Make sure you really do love her that much, and if you do it has been my experience in both my life and other friends that it almost always works out if she's willing to follow and be with you.

As I understand living with someone showing signs of Asperger's can be a challenge, but after 50 years of marriage and most of my friends the same I think I can say we all have challenges.   My wife has M. S. and has been a real challenge....   but it has probably drawn us together closer over the years instead of driving us apart like a lot of people....   difference is that I do love her the way Christ loves us....     so if you yourself don't have or develop that love it's probably not going to end well.

I guess what I'm saying is that we should probably look first at the qualities in ourselves before we look at the qualities of a future partner.....    because if you fall in love with someone the way I did with my wife, you can be happy with almost anything....    question is will she be willing to live with you if you are treating her the way you should…..   and it's funny how it always works out well when those two things are the reality of your relationship.    But it takes some time to figure that out ahead of time...   so don't rush into anything.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

On 8/3/2019 at 9:33 AM, SoDoSoPa said:

I got in contact with a girl online a bit over two weeks ago. Since first writing to her, we have been chatting daily and talked over the phone a few times. We will soon meet for the first time.

We are both Christian and we both like each other thus far. She has been very nice, funny and enjoyable to talk to over the phone. I really wish that we continue to like each other when we meet and I hope that we become partners sometime in the future.

However, to be honest, from a worldly perspective, she is not great. She has a history of mental ill-health, is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, didn't finish high school, has never had a job, etc.

On the other hand, she has a great personality, is very honest and cares a lot about finding a partner who's Christian. She currently has no Christian family members or friends, so it's a real blessing from God that she found Christ.

But I'm not sure what qualities to look for in a future partner. Is it enough that she's a confessing Christian and that we are attracted to each other? I really believe that we can be bless each other's lives, even if she hasn't been successful from a worldly perspective.

Is she spiritual, but most importantly does she support your and your faith. Moreover how is she as a person, and how does she deal with negativity and bad circumstances.

[branchesofHim]

On 8/3/2019 at 1:33 AM, SoDoSoPa said:

But I'm not sure what qualities to look for in a future partner. Is it enough that she's a confessing Christian and that we are attracted to each other? I really believe that we can be bless each other's lives, even if she hasn't been successful from a worldly perspective.

FYI - I met my wife on Worthy Forums (the internet, if you will) over 12 years ago. It's been the best years of my life since meeting and marrying her. Follow your heart (spirit) and proceed with prayer for Jesus to direct it all by the Holy Spirit. You will know. He will. Shalom.