Forgiving yourself

[Bawcash]

Are there any devotions out there that help with forgiving yourself? I know there are plenty on forgiving yourself for sins but I am specifically looking for forgiveness for failure. I had an aha moment this weekend. Pastor was talking about forgiving others, and I am like ok I have forgiven others, why do things still seem screwed up? And I realized I still beat myself up for not seeing what was happening...what was coming. There seem to be lots of secular things out there about feeling better about yourself. The Biblical stuff seems to be geared towards "God forgives you of your sins, you need to forgive yourself." "God loves you and that is all you need." I am looking for something that will help with self loathing over not being there for someone when they needed me and I didn't even know they needed me.

[johnthebaptist]

2 hours ago, Bawcash said:

Are there any devotions out there that help with forgiving yourself? I know there are plenty on forgiving yourself for sins but I am specifically looking for forgiveness for failure. I had an aha moment this weekend. Pastor was talking about forgiving others, and I am like ok I have forgiven others, why do things still seem screwed up? And I realized I still beat myself up for not seeing what was happening...what was coming. There seem to be lots of secular things out there about feeling better about yourself. The Biblical stuff seems to be geared towards "God forgives you of your sins, you need to forgive yourself." "God loves you and that is all you need." I am looking for something that will help with self loathing over not being there for someone when they needed me and I didn't even know they needed me.

My experience is that when I repent of sin, it takes a little while to be convinced my repentance is genuine. Once I get past that, I am fine.

[Who me]

We all have memorise that are embarassing or of incidents we would rather forget due to stupid things said or done.

We need to realise that those incidents are over. They have happened and unless someone else brings up an incident about you that thet find funny. They are forgotten.

How do we deal with these memorises.

Recognise they are over, we cannot change them.

Thank God that they are over and that any sin involved has been forgiven.

 

Begratefull your stupidities aren't like Peters recorded in the bible for everyone to read.

[Billiards Ball]

2 hours ago, Bawcash said:

Are there any devotions out there that help with forgiving yourself? I know there are plenty on forgiving yourself for sins but I am specifically looking for forgiveness for failure. I had an aha moment this weekend. Pastor was talking about forgiving others, and I am like ok I have forgiven others, why do things still seem screwed up? And I realized I still beat myself up for not seeing what was happening...what was coming. There seem to be lots of secular things out there about feeling better about yourself. The Biblical stuff seems to be geared towards "God forgives you of your sins, you need to forgive yourself." "God loves you and that is all you need." I am looking for something that will help with self loathing over not being there for someone when they needed me and I didn't even know they needed me.

Shame = identity = "I'm bad"

Guilt = repentance for something you did

I feel guilt, I sinned today, I prayed about it, but I matter to God. I need feel no shame.

[lovethelord]

Bawcash,

Everyone has failed a loved one at one time or another. Maybe even many times.  If we could live up to other people’s expectations and never let anyone down our world would certainly be better place to live in.  Right now, your feeling stuck in guilt and regret. Please pray to our Lord God to help you heal from your past. If you have prayed in the past before about this, then God has forgiven you. So ask God to help “you” forgive yourself so your feelings don’t turn into downward feelings of depression. Release everything to Him in prayer. We are God’s creatures and are not perfect. We don’t see the future and how our decisions, actions impact other people in our lives. That’s why Jesus tells us to be “poor in spirit” so that we can see we are imperfect and come to him and gain all that He offers. On a positive note for anyone who has failed, is to take what happened and apply it to the future so that we can learn to be more sensitive to other’s needs.

[missmuffet]

6 hours ago, Bawcash said:

Are there any devotions out there that help with forgiving yourself? I know there are plenty on forgiving yourself for sins but I am specifically looking for forgiveness for failure. I had an aha moment this weekend. Pastor was talking about forgiving others, and I am like ok I have forgiven others, why do things still seem screwed up? And I realized I still beat myself up for not seeing what was happening...what was coming. There seem to be lots of secular things out there about feeling better about yourself. The Biblical stuff seems to be geared towards "God forgives you of your sins, you need to forgive yourself." "God loves you and that is all you need." I am looking for something that will help with self loathing over not being there for someone when they needed me and I didn't even know they needed me.

Just know that Jesus Christ died on he cross for all your sins. He loves you unconditionally. Stay close to God and tell Him what is on your heart and that includes asking Him to heal your mind and allow you to forgive yourself. You need to not be so hard on yourself. God isn't. 

[GandalfTheWise]

7 hours ago, Bawcash said:

Are there any devotions out there that help with forgiving yourself? I know there are plenty on forgiving yourself for sins but I am specifically looking for forgiveness for failure. I had an aha moment this weekend. Pastor was talking about forgiving others, and I am like ok I have forgiven others, why do things still seem screwed up? And I realized I still beat myself up for not seeing what was happening...what was coming. There seem to be lots of secular things out there about feeling better about yourself. The Biblical stuff seems to be geared towards "God forgives you of your sins, you need to forgive yourself." "God loves you and that is all you need." I am looking for something that will help with self loathing over not being there for someone when they needed me and I didn't even know they needed me.

Sometimes we believe lies about ourselves and who God made us to be.  There's an enemy that sees who God made us to be and wants to prevent us from becoming that person.  It's one thing to be cognizant of our flesh and sin.  It's another to despise the unique person God created us to be.

About a decade or so ago (I'd been a Christian for 30 some years at that point), I'd look at myself in the mirror in the morning and think "Loser!" to myself.  In spite of a solid Christian life and a good encouraging attitude toward others, I could not extend encouragement or grace to myself.   God took me out into a figurative desert for a number of months.  During that time, He made me look into a figurative mirror until I started to see myself as the person He intended me to be.  During that time, He slowly revealed more and more of who He created me to be.  This was not the generic stuff that applies equally to all of us as Christians nor was it the typical finding gifts and talents, etc., so you can figure out how to keep busy serving God and making yourself useful.  This was something much deeper and profound and cut to the core of who uniquely God creates me to be.   Today, I comfortably look into the mirror in the morning and see the man of God He means for me to be.  It really changed me in a positive way.   I had spent decades defining myself to be a good Christian, a good husband, a good father, a good employee, a good church member, etc.  and I had no clue who God really made me to be.   It now feels like life and ministry flow more naturally out of me than being things I have to labor at.  Much of the heavy load just dropped off.

[Bawcash]

15 hours ago, GandalfTheWise said:

I had spent decades defining myself to be a good Christian, a good husband, a good father, a good employee, a good church member, etc.  and I had no clue who God really made me to be.

Wow! That's me...thank you

[GandalfTheWise]

39 minutes ago, Bawcash said:

Wow! That's me...thank you

FWIW, a couple books God used to work on me during this process were by John Eldredge.   "Waking the Dead" and "Wild at Heart".    A couple years ago,  I wrote a few pieces on this topic on another site I used to frequent.   https://www.christianforums.com/blogs/blog/finding-your-heart.3401/   

 

[Prycejosh1987]

On 8/5/2019 at 12:19 PM, Bawcash said:

Are there any devotions out there that help with forgiving yourself? I know there are plenty on forgiving yourself for sins but I am specifically looking for forgiveness for failure. I had an aha moment this weekend. Pastor was talking about forgiving others, and I am like ok I have forgiven others, why do things still seem screwed up? And I realized I still beat myself up for not seeing what was happening...what was coming. There seem to be lots of secular things out there about feeling better about yourself. The Biblical stuff seems to be geared towards "God forgives you of your sins, you need to forgive yourself." "God loves you and that is all you need." I am looking for something that will help with self loathing over not being there for someone when they needed me and I didn't even know they needed me.

Forgiving yourself comes through confession and prayer.