Seeking Guidance on Common Law Marriage

[Coliseum]

45 minutes ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Yes. I am starting to see and appreciate what Christ did for us.  I think that I could find deep and personal love for him, if he didn't require that I judge other religions to be wrong and to accept that their followers should be destined for hell.  I love god's creation too much to stay silent while he destroys it. I see that the bible represents Christ as someone who did not think of himself even once. But are you sure that you can say the same about God? Because, to me, the bible appears to portray him as the opposite. 

What is so beautiful about the Bible is how our human condition has no make-up on it put there by God. None of the human rough edges are smoothed. Many times in movies we see the star in all their glamour without a wrinkle, blemish, or mole. They are "perfect." That does not happen in reality, and so, God portrays reality as it is. Some believe that God is Judge, and they approach Him that way; and they are quite right. He is Judge. But some believe Him as Savior, and they approach Him that way; and they are quite right. He is Savior. If Jesus suddenly popped up out of a mountain, the many who might see Him would say, "OMG. He's real! Give me the papers. where do I sign"? But they see God as Judge, and it is already too late because they would be coming to Him out of fear. Some who already know Him are waiting for that very day He appears. Their very hope is in His appearing because they know they are already accepted and loved by Him. Again---and it will always be---what do you believe? Do you come to Him in fear as your Judge; or do you come to Him accepted, as your Savior?

The first time as an atheist I read the first 1/2 page of Genesis. After a half hour, I slammed the Book down on my floor, frustrated, bewildered, and disgusted I wasted so much time. But after God came into my heart, I turned to the Book of Romans, unwittingly, and began to read some of the passages. I at first could not believe that I was actually understanding it. I closed the Book momentarily to think about it, wondering if it was only an accident. When I opened it a second time to read, I still could not believe that it was making sense to me, and I closed it again to compose myself. But when, after the third time I was grasping the words, I began to weep. For three hours! I knew then that God's Word was just as it proclaimed: "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." There was no more guessing. I knew! It took me 38 years before that moment happened.

When a man understands, by the Holy Spirit, what God is revealing, it is no longer just a book, but a love letter written personally to the human heart. You don't hide a love letter. You read it over and over and over again. You simply have fallen in love, and you know there is nothing you desire more than to live with your Lover. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." It is no longer just a bunch of words that are to be analyzed and intellectualized, but lived out and experienced.

 

 

Edited April 25, 2020 by Coliseum

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/22/2020 at 10:30 PM, Coliseum said:

How do you know God has not heard your prayer? And how do you know whether He is not answering it? If you go purely by your feelings or believe that you must let your emotions run away with you, then you are not accepting what you have done by faith---but by feeling. We all have faith. When you go to a restaurant and eat a hamburger, you do not, by any of your five senses, know what the chef in the back room is doing. Why do you believe he is not poisoning you? You cannot see him, hear him, touch him, smell him, or taste him---yet you believe the hamburger he is making is ok to eat. How do you know? You don't! You must trust that your hamburger is edible.  Well, you might say, "All the other people have eaten theirs and live." So have all the millions and millions of believers throughout the centuries tasted Christ, and they all testify that He is good and has done what He claimed. How then do you know that your asking in sincerity was not all you needed to be saved? You trust that your asking was by faith---the same way your eating the hamburger was trusting the chef by faith. I did not know or understand that i was being saved in the instant of my conversion. But I began to see changes in my attitude as my eyes were being opened. It took time. When the doctor gives you medicine, it does not work instantly, but over time you begin to experience its effects. Trust the Great Physician as He administers the spiritual medicine you were seeking. Let God work in your heart.

That is a very good question. I know that when my husband prays for me, Christ lifts a great weight from my shoulders and brings joy in my heart. Once, when I prayed for my husband, Christ came to me. And, before my husband, when I was in a time of great need, god's feminine presence embraced me and gave me strength. It is not god that I don't have faith in. It's the bible. Christians say that the bible is the word of god.  But it is not. It is a record of some of god's words, as heard and understood through fallible men. It is the telling of stories of Christ as they were experienced by men. It was scribed by men. Men interpreted the words and men decided which words would be included and which would be discarded, in part based on their "inner sense from God that what was written was right and true." If Christians were to humbly admit this is what the bible is, Christ would be considerably more accessible to me. I am not a misandrist. I have two sons. I love and respect men. My husband is my hero and he is all man. I have no desire to diminish men. But I will work to destroy patriarchy because it hurts women. It hurts children. And it hurts men.  Patriarchy is not what god wants for us. 

I hear what you are saying about Christ. I have seen with my own eyes how Christ has saved my husband. I also see what Buddhism did for my mother and the millions of believers who, throughout the centuries, meditated.

To go with the restaurant analogy, I wonder how many of the people who are enjoying their burger and reading my words are willing to acknowledge that it was wrong for the restaurant (not the chef) to allow a handful of the people who profess to represent it to cause a considerable amount of harm to women?  I'm here to ask, will you help make the restaurant more accessible to those of us who are afraid to go in? Will you make it easier to order for the women who are already in but feel shamed or afraid, to order what they most want? And if you are certain that Christianity as a whole, is meeting women's needs, will you listen to this Christian woman for just 17 minutes ? 

Again, Coliseum, Thank you for your time and thoughts. <3 

 

 

 

 

 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/23/2020 at 12:52 AM, Willa said:

The real church is not in a building but it is made up of true believers.  We are called the bride of Christ.  This is the feminine part of Christianity.  Christ love His church so much He died for her, and that is how a man should treat a woman. He does this so He can present her holy and faultless.  

I think that I love this. What do you mean by "so he can present her holy and faultless"? 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/23/2020 at 1:44 AM, Justin Adams said:

There have been some very good comments here on both sides.

I want to reiterate that Salvation is NEVER anything to do with our merit, but is TOTALLY dependant on the Grace of Yeshua/Jesus.

There is nothing we can do to merit this salvation, therefore there is nothing we can do to lose it so LONG as we have Believing Loyalty to the ONE that SAVES.

God is not surprised by our complicated lives. He brings Compassion and Acceptance. After we are saved, it is His business to sanctify us and mold us to be as He wants - He will NOT violate our free will because He made us IMAGERS of Himself. Made to be like Him in most respects. This sanctification process may take a lifetime. But the Lord High God has all the time He needs.

I have believing loyalty to god. The hangup is my being asked to agree that god is not also serving the  71% of the population that does not come to god through Christ. If god does not deem me worthy of heaven, because I so love god's creation that I refuse to accept that they belong in hell, than heaven does not appeal to me. I do not want to worship a god who rewards willing abandonment of 71% of god's people. 

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

 

[Willa]

8 minutes ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

I think that I love this. What do you mean by "so he can present her holy and faultless"? 

Eph 5:18  And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,

Eph 5:19  speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,

Eph 5:20  giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Eph 5:21  submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Eph 5:22  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Eph 5:23  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Eph 5:24  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

Eph 5:26  that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

Eph 5:27  that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Eph 5:28  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

Eph 5:29  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Eph 5:30  For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

Eph 5:31  "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH."

Eph 5:32  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Eph 5:33  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 

 

The Passover lamb was sacrificed, then its blood was put on the doorposts so that the death angel would pass over the house and not kill their first born.  The lamb had been sacrificed in place of the child.  This happened in Egypt and the Jews continued to celebrate Passover.  Jesus was called the Passover Lamb of God from the beginning.  The lamb had to be inspected from head to foot be sure it was pure and faultless, without spot or blemish. He was tried illegally and killed on the cross during Passover celebration, and had to be removed from the cross before the holy days.  Anyhow, Jesus took all our sins on Himself and died on the cross in our place, taking our sin on Himself so we might be holy and spotless before God. 

2Co 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Jesus took the punishment we deserve for our sin on Himself, and in exchange put His purity on our account sheet.  

 

[Willa]

These are spiritual truths that can best be understood by the Holy Spirit and interpreted to us.  Should you ever choose to follow Christ it will all become much clearer to you.  Now you might understand a little but it is still very confusing.  After Jews accept Jesus as their Messiah this becomes very clear and they get so blest and excited.  We had a short plump Jewish man explaining his traditions to us that he had come to understand, and he got so excited he started jumping up and down till he fell through the speakers platform!  He said he used to run the Dippy Duck car wash and now he baptizes Christians.

[Justin Adams]

1 hour ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

I have believing loyalty to god. The hangup is my being asked to agree that god is not also serving the  71% of the population that does not come to god through Christ. If god does not deem me worthy of heaven, because I so love god's creation that I refuse to accept that they belong in hell, than heaven does not appeal to me. I do not want to worship a god who rewards willing abandonment of 71% of god's people. 

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

 

I understand your ideas. If you wish, please check out the book or videos of UNSEEN REALM by Dr. Heiser. You may then understand that the world's powers have been displaced, and God is welcoming His scattered nations back to Him.

It is a long and involved story. Perhaps you only see some of it at present. God in no way will condemn the world because He came to save it. John 3:16.

This requires some life and death study to get all the facts.

[Billiards Ball]

14 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Thanks. I appreciate your concern. I'm reaching the point where I'm less interested in people's opinions and more interested in engaging in conversation about applicable bible passages. Best wishes. 

All my points are rooted in Bible passages.

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/23/2020 at 5:16 AM, kwikphilly said:

Yes,Never outside of Scripture....what I'm saying is you will not find marriage vows or a ceremonial ritual in Scripture for a "Christian Marriage"or that it need be "officiated" by anyone but God as many churches teach is required

The Jewish wedding ceremony and the "Ketubah" or marriage contract, which is read in the original Aramaic language. The husband accepts certain marital responsibilities, such as the provision of food, shelter, and clothing for his wife, and promises to care for her emotional needs as well.

This contract is so important that the marriage ceremony is not complete until the groom signs it and presents it to the bride. This demonstrates that both husband and wife see marriage as more than just a physical and emotional union, but also as a moral and legal commitment.

The Ketubah is also signed by two witnesses and considered a legally binding agreement. It is forbidden for Jewish couples to live together without this document. For Jews, the marriage covenant symbolically represents the covenant between God and his people, Israel.

 Born Again Believers are not bound by the Law of Moses nor do we practice custom or traditions of men-however,we do respect governing authority so we would get a proper license & certificate of marriage according to City or State Laws

Is that a better explanation?

I can see and understand that born again believers, who wish to be married, feel compelled to make their commitment legal in the eyes of god and their governing authority. I do not believe that governing authority trumps god's authority, neither do all christians, which is why some refuse to perform abortions. I hope that we can all agree that Christ would not have wanted people to do what hitler said, even though it was the law. 

I understand that god does not want people to be unequally yoked, along with a lot of other things that christians often do.

Let's go  the god forbid the marriage between them route.  In addition to forbidding unequal yoking, God also forbids lying. This woman based her life on the man's promises, which were made before god, many times in over the course of 10 years. God also forbids stealing. There is no way for the woman to be made whole or to retrieve what she gave to the man, based on his promises and her trust in him.

It is one thing to say that sins are forbidden. It is another to say that sins do not exist because god forbids them.  The christian pledged himself to the woman, in this life and the next, before god. The christian told the woman that they were god's gift to each other. The woman was lead to believe that their intimacy was part of what god wanted for them. What would god want the christian who finds himself in this predicament to do?  

I want to be clear that my beloved is a good person. He has always strived to do what god wants of him. I think that he used to believe that our relationship was part of god's plan for him and now he believes that following the letter of the bible is what god wants for him.  There is no way for him to go back and make different decisions 10 years ago. The question that is left is what would god wants him to do now, in the situation that he is in. 

I expect that some of you will say that god wants him to stay in relationship but to abstain from sex. We are abstaining while we figure this out. But that is not a long term plan. Again, the woman was lead to believe that their intimacy was part of what god wanted for them. Furthermore, being with others would also be a sin:

"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."(1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV)

I am not trying to trap him. I want him to have a path to living gods plan for him. 

 

 

 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/23/2020 at 7:48 AM, Willa said:

 

You ask if I am so unlike the devil because I refuse unity and demand that he compromises his faith. And this provides clarity that, for 8 years, our life together reflected the goodness and bounty of god. My husband and I were the coming together of differences, not as opposing forces but as complimentary ones. The trauma that we experienced was the result of evil. Evil that does not want unity. Evil that does not want love. Evil that separates flesh that came together with god’s blessing and evil that turns children against their parents. Separating now would be submitting to evil.

You say that the fellowship of light and darkness ends with opposite goals in life and the desire to go in opposite directions. But we do not have opposite goals in life. We both want to fulfill god’s plans for us. We both agree that there is one god.

Yes, my beloved and I are both doing our best to follow god’s callings. We are both being torn apart. We are one flesh.

Anarchy and Chaos are not the only alternative to obeying one’s husband. Jesus had the opportunity to accumulate power. He chose to give it away. He came to dismantle the systems of power, to bring people in from the margins, to teach us to love others as ourselves.

It is for god to decide our worth. It is not for people to determine who real Christians from false ones.

I give thanks to god for my blessings. I ask god to come into my life and to heal hurts and damage. I ask god for healing for my beloved and family. I tell god what is on my heart. I do not ask for the desire, faith, or power, to follow Christ. Instead I ask that the true essence of god be revealed to me.