What happens post adultery to willful participant

[wombat]

What happens post adultery to willful participant? 

What have you noticed or seen in your life, work, or church to a  Christian who committed adultery intentionally.   Im the exspouse of the accused. 

 

Thanks

 

[ReneeIW]

29 minutes ago, wombat said:

What happens post adultery to willful participant? 

What have you noticed or seen in your life, work, or church to a  Christian who committed adultery intentionally.   Im the exspouse of the accused. 

 

Thanks

 

It depends on if the person who was exposed is a man or a woman. If a Christian man committed adultery, he is called “broken” and quickly forgiven and sometimes even praised for crying and “deeply regretting“ his behavior.

If it’s a woman, she is labeled a seductress, evil, her faith is questioned and people are warned about her.

If you mean what happens spiritually, I think it’s a long road to true repentance. Thomas Brooks’s book “Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices” talks about this.

[BeauJangles]

58 minutes ago, wombat said:

What happens post adultery to willful participant? 

What have you noticed or seen in your life, work, or church to a  Christian who committed adultery intentionally.   Im the exspouse of the accused. 

 

Thanks

Hi wombat,

Interesting questions. We discussed some of this previously, but not these particulars. Your ex missus will have to have to stand on her own before the Lord. You're not responsible for her anymore. There are the children to consider, as they still need a mother. Or maybe they don't if she is really that bad. It's hard to call that one.

And the church would depend on how firm they are against the sin. Some are very harsh and some not so much. These are pretty open questions here. I'm not quite sure what your expecting. Are you thinking some kind of acts from God on her now? He's far too loving to pronounce immediate damnation that easily. God bless you. 

Shalom,

David/BeauJangles 

Edited May 25, 2020 by BeauJangles

[Neighbor]

2 hours ago, wombat said:

What happens post adultery to willful participant? 

What have you noticed or seen in your life, work, or church to a  Christian who committed adultery intentionally.   Im the exspouse of the accused. 

 

Thanks

 

What have I seen  or experienced? Well  a pastor of a group that involved many hundreds of individuals  (Actually a few thousand) at the various local ministries headquartered at one independent Christian church,  a much admired individual considered to have really special insight and talent for bringing to life the word  decided he would cruise for action . The police arrested him.

The church body soon scattered in all  directions. He tried to establish a new church, but it just wasn't going to happen. He has ended up as support for his wife's ministry, of all things it is an unmarried woman's pregancy  help facility. They have remained together some many decades after the original fiasco.

What did I learn? Never follow a man, be part of the church the Holy Spirit leads one to, but never a church built around one man's personality. Simply follow Jesus. Any church so enamored with one man as it's leader/star is liable to filled with followers of a man and not so much our Lord, though they may think themselves bond-servants of Jesus. When their star fades or falls they all will flee the church, for it was not built upon Jesus as it's head; it's not so with those that know and worship Jesus together.

What have I learned about the couple? I don't know. He doesn't much impress me, but then I am not seeking someone to be impressed by.  I had much invested in that church was active too. It would be loss except I learned about me, that my focus was misdirected. That knowledge is invaluable, definitely to my great gain.

She, his wife, has much  determination to help women. I know of the multi church support that women especially give to the cause she is  so devoted to serving in her Lord's name.

I don't know the why of her sticking it out with him, but then it is none of my business! For that is between God and them. I am  to tend to my own flaws and be thankful for God's tolerance of them in me.

[Coliseum]

1 hour ago, wombat said:

What happens post adultery to willful participant? 

What have you noticed or seen in your life, work, or church to a  Christian who committed adultery intentionally.   Im the exspouse of the accused. 

 

Thanks

 

There needs to be unity in the church. The willing adulteress/adulterer is usually counseled by the elders/Pastor of the church, and then the words of Jesus usually follow:

¹⁵  "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
¹⁶  But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
¹⁷  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17 (NIV)

This very thing happened in a church I attended. A wife was seeing another man in the church. She was counseled, but refused to stop seeing him, and said she loved the man. The woman was no less the Pastor's daughter. The Pastor, after much tender counseling, chose to listen to the Word of God and told her both she and the man must leave the church. It was heartbreaking for her father, but he knew that unity and faithfulness needed to be preserved. They continued their relationship. The husband divorced her and remained in the church.

 

 

[shortangel]

pray & seek the Lord about this issue

[Jason Yzaguirre]

On 5/25/2020 at 6:39 PM, wombat said:

What happens post adultery to willful participant? 

What have you noticed or seen in your life, work, or church to a  Christian who committed adultery intentionally.   Im the exspouse of the accused. 

 

Thanks

 

Not sure what you mean by the first question. Do you mean what would God to do the willful participant or how people will treat the accused?

God will judge how he sees fit, so that is out of our mortal hands, but scripture is quite clear on the adultery. People that are in the environment of the accused will have their own reactions. 

I have known many who had committed adultery that of course led to divorce. Usually, friends and family will stick to the person they are friends with or are related to and will not communicate much with the ex spouse. Everyone else is usually neutral and just doesn't bring it up. 

As for the Church, that just depends on the church. I have heard some exes will still attend but just not communicate or often one will just find another. 

That's my two copper Lincolns on this....

[bornagain2011]

It depends on if there is true repentance. If she is truly broken because she sees that she sinned against God, her husband, and her church, then there should be reconciliation and she should be brought back into the fold.

But if she continues in unrepentance, she should be asked to leave. Until she proves to be truly repentant.

I have heard of unrepentant people from our church just leaving and continuing in sin, and marrying their partners they sinned with and then those marriages falling apart.

..

 And I'm very hesitant to share this... I'm about to get real here..  last year I fell away from God for a time, I had actually been distant for some time... I had developed strong feelings for a man at our church. He is very outgoing, and seemed to be putting out signals that messed with my head. My husband knew about my feelings, and saw his behaviour as inappropriate at times.

Anyways, trying to make this short, but I ended up telling the guy that I had inappropriate feelings for him and apologized. I was definintely not pursuing, but I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore and I was so distant from God. 

Anyway, he texted back right away with a lengthy text full of forgiveness and compassion, his wife responded with love and forgiveness and wanted to restore our friendship. I told pastor's wife about it, and she forgave me. No one wanted me to leave. My husband forgave me. And I fully repented to God because I sinned against Him the most.

I couldn't eat for several days, and fell into a depression with suicidal thoughts until God granted me godly repentance. 

I was brought back into the fold, and things have been so much better. My focus is back on God where it never should've left. And I really don't care about how the guy sees me anymore. I don't read into his actions/words anymore. There are definitely boundaries there now, and we are no longer friendly and familiar with each other.

So that's my personal experience. My marriage is stronger than it was before. We are open with each other more now and share our struggles. I didn't want to put this out there because I fear being judged, but if it helps someone by showing them things can be restored after something like that then it's worth it to share.

Edited for grammer. It's gooder now.

Edited May 27, 2020 by bornagain2011

[Coliseum]

20 minutes ago, bornagain2011 said:

It depends on if there is true repentance. If she is truly broken because she sees that she sinned against God, her husband, and her church, then there should be reconciliation and she should be brought back into the fold.

But if she continues in unrepentance, she should be asked to leave. Until she proves to be truly repentant.

I have heard of unrepentant people from our church just leaving and continuing in sin, and marrying their partners they sinned with and then those marriages falling apart.

..

 And I'm very hesitant to share this... I'm about to get real here..  last year I fell away from God for a time, I had actually been distant for some time... I had developed strong feelings for a man at our church. He is very outgoing, and seemed to be putting out signals that messed with my head. My husband knew about my feelings, and saw his behaviour as inappropriate at times.

Anyways, trying to make this short, but I ended up telling the guy that I had inappropriate feelings for him and apologized. I was definintely not pursuing, but I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore and I was so distant from God. 

Anyway, he texted back right away with a lengthy text full of forgiveness and compassion, his wife responded with love and forgiveness and wanted to restore our friendship. I told pastor's wife about it, and she forgave me. No one wanted me to leave. My husband forgave me. And I fully repented to God because I sinned against Him the most.

I couldn't eat for several days, and fell into a depression with suicidal thoughts until God granted me godly repentance. 

I was brought back into the fold, and things have been so much better. My focus is back on God where it never should've left. And I really don't care about how the guy sees me anymore. I don't read into his actions/words anymore. There are definitely boundaries there now, and we are no longer friendly and familiar with each other.

So that's my personal experience. My marriage is stronger than it was before. We are open with each other more now and share our struggles. I didn't want to put this out there because I fear being judged, but if it helps someone by showing them things can be restored after something like that then it's worth it to share.

Edited for grammer. It's gooder now.

God always wants to restore and not destroy whenever it is possible. In another incident in a church I attended, a man decided he could not continue with his wife. He simply told her he was leaving her---with six children. During her time without him, she was in prayer for his return. A few times she struggled with wanting to date other men, but she remained faithful. Fourteen years later, he walked into the church, knelt down in front of her and asked if she would forgive him for the terrible mistake he pursued. It is now eight years later and they couldn't be happier. She was a very strong woman in the Lord without a shred of bitterness. She underwent terrible times keeping two jobs and finding ways to manage her six children alone. She honored God, and God blessed her.

Please do not be afraid of being judged. No one has it all together. No one has it together at all. No one is free from struggling in this life. I encourage you to keep a head held high in Christ and keep sharing. And btw---and i have echoed this before: we all wear masks, and to the extent that we do, we can neither give love nor receive it. Only the mask gets the credit. It is only when we are brave enough to lower it that we can truly love others, and receive it. :)

[Your closest friendnt]

1 hour ago, Coliseum said:

God always wants to restore and not destroy whenever it is possible. In another incident in a church I attended, a man decided he could not continue with his wife. He simply told her he was leaving her---with six children. During her time without him, she was in prayer for his return. A few times she struggled with wanting to date other men, but she remained faithful. Fourteen years later, he walked into the church, knelt down in front of her and asked if she would forgive him for the terrible mistake he pursued. It is now eight years later and they couldn't be happier. She was a very strong woman in the Lord without a shred of bitterness. She underwent terrible times keeping two jobs and finding ways to manage her six children alone. She honored God, and God blessed her.

Please do not be afraid of being judged. No one has it all together. No one has it together at all. No one is free from struggling in this life. I encourage you to keep a head held high in Christ and keep sharing. And btw---and i have echoed this before: we all wear masks, and to the extent that we do, we can neither give love nor receive it. Only the mask gets the credit. It is only when we are brave enough to lower it that we can truly love others, and receive it.

You are a kind person..