Getting worse

[Figure of eighty]

Dad got finished screaming at me calling me lazy, stupid.. My baby started crying. 

This quarantine has been hellish for me. 

 

Please pray im going to a shelter.  I have to before it gets physical.

[TheBlade]

It may seem like your alone.... maybe you don't feel this way praise GOD... He is with you.. KNOW that.. and speak HIS word over everything. If its fear say NO God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. Say I am strong in the power of HIS might. I have the joy of the lord. He is for me who can be against me. You have His peace.. Christ.. peace I leave with you not as the world gives.. Give I unto you.

I know it may be hard to believe but when this was written YOU this moment were on His mind when HE said

"So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." <---HE CAN'T LIE!

And know your family right now IS praying for you.. in JESUS NAME! 

[Figure of eighty]

9 minutes ago, TheBlade said:

It may seem like your alone.... maybe you don't feel this way praise GOD... He is with you.. KNOW that.. and speak HIS word over everything. If its fear say NO God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. Say I am strong in the power of HIS might. I have the joy of the lord. He is for me who can be against me. You have His peace.. Christ.. peace I leave with you not as the world gives.. Give I unto you.

I know it may be hard to believe but when this was written YOU this moment were on His mind when HE said

"So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." <---HE CAN'T LIE!

And know your family right now IS praying for you.. in JESUS NAME! 

Thank you. Im just trying to do right for my son. Im honestly afraid to go to a shelter bc Id feel so vulnerable-- I dont know what all goes on there. I feel Id have to watch my back at every turn. 

But the disrespect is more than I can take and Im not an angry person at all. 

An example of lack of respect; my baby is in the living room watching TV, the dog jumps on his chest and he hits the wooden stand. My mom takes up for the dogs... 

My 14 yr old brother is mouthy and tells me I need to watch my baby and other rude stuff. 

A while ago-- my mom told me to move off the couch before she got mad ( She got in from work) I was really tired the night prior. I asked if anyone could hold my child for 2 seconds no one would and he ended up falling again. Then my mom who was in the bathroom at the time came out and yelled at me.

I just can't be with them any longer.  

 

My dad loves to tattle on me like Im a child when he's usually in the wrong. 

Idk just trying not to think dark thoughts but Idk if ill get past how my parents treated me during this time.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Figure of eighty

[LadyKay]

Is there someone you can stay with? 

[Riverwalker]

3 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Thank you. Im just trying to do right for my son. Im honestly afraid to go to a shelter bc Id feel so vulnerable-- I dont know what all goes on there. I feel Id have to watch my back at every turn. 

 

Do not operate from fear, it will only lead to defeat. You have to find your focus, and stay centered on that focus, don't let yourself get tiled by things that are said, or done.  Put your faith and focus in God.

If I may suggest, read this chapter daily, or many times daily, as much as it takes to push the fear away from you and be your default thought,

Psalm 91: 

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

 

[AnOrangeCat]

I'll be praying for you. If you go through with going to a shelter try to keep us posted on how that goes if you can.

[Figure of eighty]

15 hours ago, LadyKay said:

Is there someone you can stay with? 

No

[Figure of eighty]

11 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said:

I'll be praying for you. If you go through with going to a shelter try to keep us posted on how that goes if you can.

I dont think my mind will let me bc I feel the dangers of a shelter far outweigh what Im dealing with now. It may be a waste but Im thinking of just getting a hotel for a few days with just mr and my baby. Hopefully that'll calm all that down. Just have to wait on thr stimulus.

[1to3]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

I dont think my mind will let me bc I feel the dangers of a shelter far outweigh what Im dealing with now. It may be a waste but Im thinking of just getting a hotel for a few days with just mr and my baby. Hopefully that'll calm all that down. Just have to wait on thr stimulus.

Trust your instincts, nothing last forever, but i feel for you and am praying God shield of protection over you and protect you and be above what your parents and or siblings might be trying to do to you to give themselves relief and a sense of power. God your True Father has this in His hands, He got what is happening and got this and you are His child and He will see you through and never give you more than you can handle. Can you make your room a safe cozy place and go there with your child? if so try to make your room a safe place and go there with your child for shelter and safety. go to God your True Father and find refuge under His wings, His promises, His word, they are meant to help you, guide you and comfort you. and we the saints who also believe are praying for you petitioning to god over your safety. Be of no fear, God you Father is with you.

Philippians 4:6-8

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

[Figure of eighty]

14 minutes ago, 1to3 said:

Trust your instincts, nothing last forever, but i feel for you and am praying God shield of protection over you and protect you and be above what your parents and or siblings might be trying to do to you to give themselves relief and a sense of power. God your True Father has this in His hands, He got what is happening and got this and you are His child and He will see you through and never give you more than you can handle. Can you make your room a safe cozy place and go there with your child? if so try to make your room a safe place and go there with your child for shelter and safety. go to God your True Father and find refuge under His wings, His promises, His word, they are meant to help you, guide you and comfort you. and we the saints who also believe are praying for you petitioning to god over your safety. Be of no fear, God you Father is with you.

Philippians 4:6-8

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

I try to stay in my room as much as possible.. But when my son gets up and starts to stir my mom says dont have him cooped up in the room. To avoid arguments I just roll with it. Also my brother and dad barge in my room and close the door when they wantt to be petty

 

Edited January 21, 2021 by Figure of eighty