How do I love an enemy?

[debrakay]

I needed to read all of this. I do not have any personal enemies but I do have leaders that I am told to pray for.  I have always had a very, very hard time doing this especially for the leaders who decade after decade do whatever they can to rob the citizens of wealth, peace and happiness only to confiscate it for themselves.  

How does one pray for evil leaders? How does one pray for those leaders who kill and rob others?  I know forgiveness is an important action for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose but forgiveness is different from offering prayer for leaders who are evil.  I can forgive others for their own selfish desires but when we are called to pray for our leaders I have no idea how to pray.  Especially the blatantly evil ones.

[Marathoner]

1 hour ago, Willa said:

1Jn 4:20  If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

1Jn 4:21  And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

I had always pointed this at my father in law, who was the most hate filled person I had ever known.  One day at a Bible study God pointed this at me.  I knew I was lost.  No way could I love that man, who had threatened me, shoving his fist in my face.  But that verse said that I was a liar and didn't love God.  So I asked what I could do.  One lady told me to thank God for him and ask God to love him through me.  I did that and God filled me with His Spirit.  Then started several years of trials that humbled me and removed my self righteousness that had hindered my forgiveness.  

I never did love the man the way Christ did.  As soon as I forgave and tried to show him grace he would do something else that was so offensive or that angered me.  I would go home and get my attitude right and try again.  But I did manage to witness to him and tell him the way of salvation, which he rejected saying that it was fine for us but he didn't want any part of it.  A few months later he crashed his plane and died.  I had asked God to move him away from us if there was no hope for his salvation so he wouldn't become a stumbling block to our sons.  That was much farther away than I expected.  

However, God had used him for good.  He had used him to show me my need for God's grace in my life and He had filled me with His Spirit.  He had started a deep work of sanctification, cleansing my heart.  Learning to love that man taught me how to love most anyone, no matter how unlovable.  It doesn't depend on my feelings.  It depends on my will.  Nevertheless, not my will be done but Thine.

When the Lord filled me with His Spirit, He charged me to love others as He loves me... truly, as He loves us all. The opportunity arrived when I came across one in great need.

Their mouth was filthy; their disposition sour; and as I soon discovered, they loathed Christians with fury. "Christians are fakes! Phonies!" they declared. Yes, this was one whom the Lord commanded me to love come what may. As you know, dear sister, it became the fiery trial. 

This individual did everything they could to offend me, anger me, and provoke me to wrath. I was one of those worthless Christians, they reasoned, so they predicted I would pack my bags and leave with a swiftness. Just like everyone else who professed the Lord had done to them.

Six years later, the Lord astonished me with the work He accomplished before these eyes. The day came when this person embraced me with tears, repenting of every nasty word and cruel deed they had committed. What did they say?

"I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love me!"

This wasn't my love, but the love of the Lord Himself. It was a demonstration of the depth of His love for us all.   

Edited January 19, 2022 by Marathoner

[MrBear]

1 hour ago, Marathoner said:

When the Lord filled me with His Spirit, He charged me to love others as He loves me... truly, as He loves us all. The opportunity arrived when I came across one in great need.

Their mouth was filthy; their disposition sour; and as I soon discovered, they loathed Christians with fury. "Christians are fakes! Phonies!" they declared. Yes, this was one whom the Lord commanded me to love come what may. As you know, dear sister, it became the fiery trial. 

This individual did everything they could to offend me, anger me, and provoke me to wrath. I was one of those worthless Christians, they reasoned, so they predicted I would pack my bags and leave with a swiftness. Just like everyone else who professed the Lord had done to them.

Six years later, the Lord astonished me with the work He accomplished before these eyes. The day came when this person embraced me with tears, repenting of every nasty word and cruel deed they had committed. What did they say?

"I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love me!"

This wasn't my love, but the love of the Lord Himself. It was a demonstration of the depth of His love for us all.   

That was a sweet testimony, Forgiveness doesn’t change the past but it can change the future❤️
Unforgivness on the other hand corrupts and I have seen it turn to bitterness, a poisonous cancer that doesn’t get better with time 

SHALOM❤️
 

"All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice."

- ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:31‬ 

[appy]

After reading Jayne's and Willa's posts I went back through the thread and saw the below statement.

"If someone who has offended/hurt us does notrepent, we do not have to forgive them. "

Repentance in the bible is spoken of in the sense of seeing your sin in the way God does and agree with Him about it and turn from all known sin and turn to God.   He is our creator, and Sovereign over all. He is not obligated to bend to our wishes.  God commanded us to turn from sinful lives and turn to him. He also commanded us to believe upon His Son. When we do not, we are disobeying His commands.

Our sins against each other are not the same as our sins against an all holy God.  We are not sinless or perfect. 

[Who me]

16 hours ago, appy said:

God commanded us to turn from sinful lives and turn to him.

That is true repentance, ewithout which there is No forgiveness.

 

As Christians we are to love those who hate us, yet we are not doormats, nor are we to be doormats.

We have no choice but to forgive those who express sorrow for hurting us, but like Jesus on the cross we do not have to forgive unrepentant sinners.

[Who me]

On 1/18/2022 at 10:07 PM, Jayne said:

I think you and I are talking about two different things.

You seem to be talking about God's forgiveness of us.

I am talking about our forgiving others.  

 

They are the same thing, just as God does not forgive the unrepentant sinner, so we do not have to forgive someone who has sinned against us.

 

 

[appy]

There are web pages teaching people that they don't have to forgive an offender, and it is all based on one lone standing verse.  And this is wrong.   While there is numerous of other verses teaching us to forgive, even if the offender has not said "I'm sorry".    Including passages in the OT.

No one is saying you have to remain a doormat, NOT at all !! forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you are approving or excusing or even forgetting what the person said or did. It also does NOT mean that you have to continue to be a doormat either.

The  saying and teaching .....“only if they repent”, is a way to justify vindictiveness, a bitter-sweet gloating retribution; and is a false sense of entitlement and power over the person and/or the offending situation. While your waiting for the offender to say “I'm sorry”.   The pain remains, and bitterness, anger and resentment increases and keeps building and building inside of you.   Robbing you of peace, joy and healing from the situation.  Plus hinder your walk with the Lord.

Forgiveness is for YOUR benefit.    Doesn't mean the offender is off of God's hook. But it does mean that the pain from the event or person no longer has a hold over you.  And healing can begin. Just mouthing the words to the offender “I forgive you” is shallow indeed if you  in your heart and mind are still trying to cause the offender to hurt like you do.

No amount of vindictiveness or withholding of forgiveness is going to hurt the offender, like it will hurt you. You will continue to hurt more and more and more, not less. Sometimes healing is slow, but it will happen a lot easier and be less painful, if you will forgive the offender.

Even secular psychologists and counselors, tell their clients all that I have just said.

 

[Who me]

4 hours ago, appy said:

The  saying and teaching .....“only if they repent”, is a way to justify vindictiveness, a bitter-sweet gloating retribution; and is a false sense of entitlement and power over the person and/or the offending situation.

 

This shows a total lack of biblical knowledge.

 

All through the OT the need for reptentance followed by forgiveness can be seen.

The sacrifical system of offering an animal because one or ones family has sinned, is a sinner responding to their knowledge they have sinned and in repentance, laying their hand on the sacrifices head to symbolise the transmition of sin prior to killing it.

God frequently proclaims ' if only my people would turn from their wicked ways, humble themselves and pray. Then I would hear from heaven, forgive and heal their land.'

 

 

As for storing up bitterness, the Christian is an imitator of Jesus and like him on the cross, we hand it all over to God for him to deal with the offender, our feelings etc etc and then we pray for the good of our offender.

That is intelligent regular prayer for there well being.

 

That is the biblical teaching on forgiveness.

[luigi]

It is possible that the person you once trusted was experiencing pain with their spouse, and took that pain out on you. 

[I am no one]

On 1/11/2022 at 11:05 AM, Melinda12 said:

We are only human, this is a very hard command. I could do with advice. 

When I was bereaved a few years ago, a certain person in my life showed cold shocking contempt, kicked me further in my pain, loneliness and grief. This was someone who I always assumed that I could trust. I have since rebuilt my life but never forgotten what it felt like to be vulnerable, scared and be treated like that on top. The person and I never spoke again. 

Now I hear that this person has met with great catastrophe. Their marriage has ended due to adultery of their spouse. A sordid affair means divorce, great pain etc. A bereavement really. 

I am being honest here, I do not know how to feel any sympathy for my enemy. My feelings have ranged from numbness to rage over the years, and now I feel it is good that they will know what grief and deep uncertainty and fear for their future feels like. 

I am not proud of this. What shall I pray - which Bible verses will help? 

 

 

 

 

 

What did Jesus do?

John 18:19-24 (NKJV)The high priest then asked Jesus about His disciples and His doctrine.
Jesu s answered him, "I spoke openly to the world. I always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where the Jews always meet, and in secret I have said nothing.
Why do you ask Me? Ask those who have heard Me what I said to them. Indeed they know what I said."
And when He had said these things, one of the officers who stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, "Do You answer the high priest like that?"
Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil; but if well, why do you strike Me?"
Then Annas sent Him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.