Inviting to party

[ladypeartree]

This is impossible to answer without knowing the reason for the divorce  ....if for instance the husband committed adultery with the second wife whilst still married to the first and that was the reason then it would be a slap in the face for the second wife to attend the party . If however it was an amicable divorce as so many these days " fall out of love " and think it is a good reason to forget vows then the second wife has no reason to be angry /jealous/whatever  

[missmuffet]

24 minutes ago, LearningToLetGo said:

If you marry someone knowing they have children with a divorced spouse then expect to see that person at family events. It's part of the package. Deal with it.

It does not have to. There are ways to be more sensitive to another person's situation. It is being considerate and kind. It takes some wisdom. 

[missmuffet]

7 minutes ago, ladypeartree said:

This is impossible to answer without knowing the reason for the divorce  ....if for instance the husband committed adultery with the second wife whilst still married to the first and that was the reason then it would be a slap in the face for the second wife to attend the party . If however it was an amicable divorce as so many these days " fall out of love " and think it is a good reason to forget vows then the second wife has no reason to be angry /jealous/whatever  

I don't know if it would matter why they were divorced. The outcome is the same. 

[creativemechanic]

Personally I see it this way-

1) It the fathers dinner- he can invite who he wants.

2) Its just a few hours, theyll probably wont see the other lady much after.

3) It shows something- when we leave something, we dont just leave- but rather we leave people behind and relationships as well.

I saw something like this personally when people abruptly left my church- so much chaos and confusion. All of which couldve been alleviated by taking the time to  properly adjust and make correct preparations fpr their departure

[Jayne]

7 minutes ago, creativemechanic said:

Personally I see it this way-

1) It the fathers dinner- he can invite who he wants.

2) Its just a few hours, theyll probably wont see the other lady much after.

3) It shows something- when we leave something, we dont just leave- but rather we leave people behind and relationships as well.

I saw something like this personally when people abruptly left my church- so much chaos and confusion. All of which couldve been alleviated by taking the time to  properly adjust and make correct preparations fpr their departure

Well, sure the father can invite whom he wants to his dinner.  But that doesn't mean he is doing the right thing.  With our "rights" come responsibility.  With him asking his son to have the new spouse bring over "a salad", we can only assume it is not a big party but a small one like eating a grandmother's after church.

If i had an adult child who had an ex-spouse and a current spouse and I felt closer to the ex-spouse, I would NOT invite both the ex and current spouse to the same party.  That's just ridiculous.  It's putting your guests in uncomfortable situations.

Here's the answer.  He can have the ex-spouse over whenever he likes if he wants to visit with her.  Why do they HAVE TO come to the same small event at his home?

And I am assuming that the ex-spouse either has custody of her children or is sharing joint custody.  You see, you left out a lot of information!

By the way, I reported the profanity you used.  Nothing was done about it, but I did report it.

[JohnR7]

On 6/22/2022 at 8:51 AM, Jayne said:

Just explain it to me.

It sounds like the kids do not accept the new wife. The parents seem to be supportive of this. Kids are often confronted with a decision between daddy and his new wife or mommy and her boyfriend. Who do they want to live with. I stayed single until my son grew up and became independent. A girl friend is treated like a friend but a live in is a different story and there maybe conflicts. I remember my son got in a fight with a girlfriend at the pool. He kicked her and she scratched his face. I broke up with her because of that. The kids come first and then you can take care of your wants, needs and desires. 

Edited June 23, 2022 by JohnR7

[JohnR7]

9 hours ago, Jayne said:

You see, you left out a lot of information!

More information makes the situation more complicated and more difficult to resolve. I was a single parent and there were a lot of women that were single parents who were interested in what that was like for a man. A lot of things were very much the same and single parents have a lot in common no matter if they are male or female. 

[kwikphilly]

On 6/22/2022 at 10:36 AM, kwikphilly said:

Blessings creative

So if I'm following the story then the ex- wife is the mother of the sons children, is that right?It seems Diane is the new wife, Lisa is the ex.... So the Dad invites people to the sons house?

Im sorry, its very confusing, the Dad tells the son to have the new wife make a salad so he, his mother, children & ex- wife can go to his sons house or is he requesting everyone come to his house & Diane bring a salad?

Okay,if the event is at the Dads house then I think Diane should send over a salad & her husband to see his parents & his children if she doesn't want to be around her husbands ex( this scenario makes sense as the son said" have fun without us" so it can't be at their house

They should act like adults for the kids(IMO)

 

I stand by my initial thoughts regarding this little scenario

Can we just switch out that word with" dang" or something inoffensive with an edit?

Like Lady PT I'd really like to know why they divorced and how old these" children " are... I mean if they're 21 & 25 that might change things too- does the Dad not have any relationship with his kids or is going to his Dads an opportunity to see them that otherwise is not possible?

We can make up different scenarios and surely we will have different answers- as it stands( if I were Diane) I'd bow out graciously and send over the best salad they ever ate!!!

 

[kwikphilly]

Oddly enough my Mom was married to my Dad 25 yrs- his family were the closest thing to a family my Mom ever had, she and my Dads Sisters were so very close since they were 15 & 16 yrs old....

When my parents divorced my Mom was alone, the in- laws completely abandoned her and she did nothing, my Dad left her for someone she knew.... It was very messy but par for the course- I think family tends to stick by family no matter right or wrong..... It makes me wonder why the parents are not sticking by the son in the story here, probably to see their grandchildren..... Oh well, just thinking out loud

[LearningToLetGo]

49 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

When my parents divorced my Mom was alone, the in- laws completely abandoned her

Same thing happened to my Mom. It was infuriating to watch. Most people are weak and can't handle such situations so someone is always put out to sacrifice.