Doubts

[Dave-regenerated]

I truly believe I have been born again.  My experience at that moment in time was so fantastic and mind blowing I hesitate to describe it to others for various reasons which I have learnt over time.  I have shared my experience of that event with some people who say they are Christian and a few of them have tried to disagree with me about my own experience!  There is nothing more hurtful and condescending than for a Christian to do that, whereas non-believers I wouldn't pay attention to.

Some people have suggested that my experience is not as important as the truth of the Word only as a way to disagree with me on something else I've related.  And while I agree experience is subordinate to scripture I do NOT agree that experience can be dismissed, especially the New Birth.

So having said all that, I am seriously having doubts now.  I know what happened to me, I fit all the criteria I have found in books and on the internet for a person that has been saved, and I know 100% for certain that God exists.  Yet, my life does not line up with any of it.  I cannot predict the future of the sanctification process in myself, but I fall short every day into sins that I do not see happening to other Christians upon salvation.  I have addictions I cannot get rid of.  

I see so many testimonies of people that have said when they were saved or they prayed for freedom from addictions, God took them away miraculously.  I see testimonies of people that claim to have had prayers answered for healing, and so on.  Yet, I really don't mean to sound arrogant or boastful, but the truth of the matter is that their descriptions of being born again pale in comparison to mine.  I literally had a massive supernatural Damascus Road type of thing happen to me.  

So, what is the truth here?  Are people that write their testimonies online about God setting them free from smoking, alcohol, drugs, simply just exaggerating by claiming God took those things away from them when in fact it was their own volition and will power that did it?  

It's been 9 years and counting since I was saved.  There has hardly been even 1 day where I haven't given in to these addictions.  I prayed endlessly, hours upon hours, days long for years to God to take them away, and He hasn't done it.  Yet am I to believe that such a long amount of time was for nothing and that there are supposed to be people being healed of cancers and paralysis and so on simply through one prayer at a church or even to themselves, instantly?  

I am supposed to believe that a person is righteous so that God answers their prayers, as James says, more or less; yet everybody that has the New Birth has a new nature along with the old Man, as Paul says, and somehow that persons prayers are answered?  Yet here I am toiling away in desperate straights about my addiction problems for over 9 years and nothing has happened?  I am supposed to believe that Scripture is a means of sanctification that happens through grace and faith and not works, and despite endless hours of reading the Bible now I am not progressing a single shred?

Something is wrong with this picture.  

In the Psalms, the Psalmist pleads with God to help and prevent them from sinning.  Yet, in the NT Epistles we are told that God does not tempt anybody to sin and that He always makes a way out from temptation due to the apparent reality that a person has enough power in themselves to overcome such.  Jesus said, "Lead us not into temptation".  I cannot square these two apparently contradictory things, nor can I understand why God has set millions of people free from addictions through miraculous means by prayer, and here I am languishing in dire straights for 9 years and absolutely nothing has changed.  

Since I do not get audio downloads or telephone calls from God telling me things, I have absolutely no way of knowing whether it is God's will that I am supposed to use my own will power to try to give up these addictions or whether I should continue to pray that somehow someday He will free will.  I just narrowly escaped having cancer and had to have a major operation at the Hospital, my physical health is absolutely deplorable, I am in constant physical and mental and emotional pain every single day without any let up, I am killing myself, and I don't understand why.  

And to top it all off, when I do get around to reading the Bible, I will experience demonic attacks.  When I don't read the Bible one day, the attacks go away temporarily.  This is a repeatable phenomena of my experience and as such is pretty scientifically robust.  

[OneLight]

When a child starts to learn to walk, they have to move their own legs while the parent holds them in balance.  The child does not expect the parent to both move their legs for them and hold them in balance.  Take the first steps by turning away from your addictions - say No More - and God will give you His strength when you need it.  This only works when you continue to say no.  Once you give in, you're on your own again until you've had enough once again.  I know this first hand.

[FJK]

There's a saying that God helps those who help themselves, there's a reason for that saying:  You have to accept the answer God gives you and be willing to do your part when you pray for help.

Two boats and a helicopter, that sort of thing.

[NConly]

Have you seen this verse?

1 Peter 5: 10

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

[Vine Abider]

6 hours ago, Dave-regenerated said:

  In the Psalms, the Psalmist pleads with God to help and prevent them from sinning.  Yet, in the NT Epistles we are told that God does not tempt anybody to sin and that He always makes a way out from temptation due to the apparent reality that a person has enough power in themselves to overcome such.  Jesus said, "Lead us not into temptation".  I cannot square these two apparently contradictory things, nor can I understand why God has set millions of people free from addictions through miraculous means by prayer, and here I am languishing in dire straights for 9 years and absolutely nothing has changed.  

In the new covenant, God places His life in the believer. It is not that ones have, as you stated, "enough power in themselves to overcome sin." That is not the teaching of the new covenant way.  It is more like a believer praying something of this order: "Lord, I have tried but I cannot overcome this. Since You live in me, I give you permission to also work in me to overcome this thing right now. I give it to You and look to You to live Your life through me.  I call on Your glorious name - Lord Jesus help me in my weakness!"

[Marilyn C]

7 hours ago, Dave-regenerated said:

I truly believe I have been born again.  My experience at that moment in time was so fantastic and mind blowing I hesitate to describe it to others for various reasons which I have learnt over time.  I have shared my experience of that event with some people who say they are Christian and a few of them have tried to disagree with me about my own experience!  There is nothing more hurtful and condescending than for a Christian to do that, whereas non-believers I wouldn't pay attention to.

Some people have suggested that my experience is not as important as the truth of the Word only as a way to disagree with me on something else I've related.  And while I agree experience is subordinate to scripture I do NOT agree that experience can be dismissed, especially the New Birth.

So having said all that, I am seriously having doubts now.  I know what happened to me, I fit all the criteria I have found in books and on the internet for a person that has been saved, and I know 100% for certain that God exists.  Yet, my life does not line up with any of it.  I cannot predict the future of the sanctification process in myself, but I fall short every day into sins that I do not see happening to other Christians upon salvation.  I have addictions I cannot get rid of.  

I see so many testimonies of people that have said when they were saved or they prayed for freedom from addictions, God took them away miraculously.  I see testimonies of people that claim to have had prayers answered for healing, and so on.  Yet, I really don't mean to sound arrogant or boastful, but the truth of the matter is that their descriptions of being born again pale in comparison to mine.  I literally had a massive supernatural Damascus Road type of thing happen to me.  

So, what is the truth here?  Are people that write their testimonies online about God setting them free from smoking, alcohol, drugs, simply just exaggerating by claiming God took those things away from them when in fact it was their own volition and will power that did it?  

It's been 9 years and counting since I was saved.  There has hardly been even 1 day where I haven't given in to these addictions.  I prayed endlessly, hours upon hours, days long for years to God to take them away, and He hasn't done it.  Yet am I to believe that such a long amount of time was for nothing and that there are supposed to be people being healed of cancers and paralysis and so on simply through one prayer at a church or even to themselves, instantly?  

I am supposed to believe that a person is righteous so that God answers their prayers, as James says, more or less; yet everybody that has the New Birth has a new nature along with the old Man, as Paul says, and somehow that persons prayers are answered?  Yet here I am toiling away in desperate straights about my addiction problems for over 9 years and nothing has happened?  I am supposed to believe that Scripture is a means of sanctification that happens through grace and faith and not works, and despite endless hours of reading the Bible now I am not progressing a single shred?

Something is wrong with this picture.  

In the Psalms, the Psalmist pleads with God to help and prevent them from sinning.  Yet, in the NT Epistles we are told that God does not tempt anybody to sin and that He always makes a way out from temptation due to the apparent reality that a person has enough power in themselves to overcome such.  Jesus said, "Lead us not into temptation".  I cannot square these two apparently contradictory things, nor can I understand why God has set millions of people free from addictions through miraculous means by prayer, and here I am languishing in dire straights for 9 years and absolutely nothing has changed.  

Since I do not get audio downloads or telephone calls from God telling me things, I have absolutely no way of knowing whether it is God's will that I am supposed to use my own will power to try to give up these addictions or whether I should continue to pray that somehow someday He will free will.  I just narrowly escaped having cancer and had to have a major operation at the Hospital, my physical health is absolutely deplorable, I am in constant physical and mental and emotional pain every single day without any let up, I am killing myself, and I don't understand why.  

And to top it all off, when I do get around to reading the Bible, I will experience demonic attacks.  When I don't read the Bible one day, the attacks go away temporarily.  This is a repeatable phenomena of my experience and as such is pretty scientifically robust.  

Hi Dave,

We all have to repent of things and that is the key - heartfelt repentance. We by an act of our will have allowed certain things to control us, thus by an act of our will we need to repent before God of those things.

Prayer is asking and communication whereas REPENTING is a heart cry of letting those things go. 

Marilyn.

[farouk]

4 hours ago, NConly said:

Have you seen this verse?

1 Peter 5: 10

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

@NConly A very encouraging verse........ Similarly to Philippians - the Epistle of Joy - glory may involve suffering.

[Deborah_]

16 hours ago, Dave-regenerated said:

I see so many testimonies of people that have said when they were saved or they prayed for freedom from addictions, God took them away miraculously.  I see testimonies of people that claim to have had prayers answered for healing, and so on.  Yet, I really don't mean to sound arrogant or boastful, but the truth of the matter is that their descriptions of being born again pale in comparison to mine.  I literally had a massive supernatural Damascus Road type of thing happen to me.  

So, what is the truth here?  Are people that write their testimonies online about God setting them free from smoking, alcohol, drugs, simply just exaggerating by claiming God took those things away from them when in fact it was their own volition and will power that did it?  

Sometimes God does deliver us miraculously from sin, but more often He doesn't. Sanctification is a slow, stop-start process, and anyone who says otherwise is misleading you.

It's the same with healing. Healing does happen (it's happened to me), but it isn't a universal experience. 

I don't think that all these testimonies are exaggerated or made-up (though it's possible that some are). God often "kick-starts" our Christian life with something exceptional or miraculous. But from then on it's mainly hard slog for a lot of us. And the main reason for that may well be to keep us humble!

I think the book of Joshua is instructive. Israel's conquest of Canaan began with two awesome miracles (the crossing of the Jordan and the defeat of Jericho). But after that it was down to their own fighting (although God still assisted them). 

[Debp]

18 hours ago, Dave-regenerated said:

I truly believe I have been born again.  My experience at that moment in time was so fantastic and mind blowing I hesitate to describe it to others for various reasons which I have learnt over time.  I have shared my experience of that event with some people who say they are Christian and a few of them have tried to disagree with me about my own experience!  There is nothing more hurtful and condescending than for a Christian to do that, whereas non-believers I wouldn't pay attention to.

Some people have suggested that my experience is not as important as the truth of the Word only as a way to disagree with me on something else I've related.  And while I agree experience is subordinate to scripture I do NOT agree that experience can be dismissed, especially the New Birth.

So having said all that, I am seriously having doubts now.  I know what happened to me, I fit all the criteria I have found in books and on the internet for a person that has been saved, and I know 100% for certain that God exists.  Yet, my life does not line up with any of it.  I cannot predict the future of the sanctification process in myself, but I fall short every day into sins that I do not see happening to other Christians upon salvation.  I have addictions I cannot get rid of.  

I see so many testimonies of people that have said when they were saved or they prayed for freedom from addictions, God took them away miraculously.  I see testimonies of people that claim to have had prayers answered for healing, and so on.  Yet, I really don't mean to sound arrogant or boastful, but the truth of the matter is that their descriptions of being born again pale in comparison to mine.  I literally had a massive supernatural Damascus Road type of thing happen to me.  

So, what is the truth here?  Are people that write their testimonies online about God setting them free from smoking, alcohol, drugs, simply just exaggerating by claiming God took those things away from them when in fact it was their own volition and will power that did it?  

It's been 9 years and counting since I was saved.  There has hardly been even 1 day where I haven't given in to these addictions.  I prayed endlessly, hours upon hours, days long for years to God to take them away, and He hasn't done it.  Yet am I to believe that such a long amount of time was for nothing and that there are supposed to be people being healed of cancers and paralysis and so on simply through one prayer at a church or even to themselves, instantly?  

I am supposed to believe that a person is righteous so that God answers their prayers, as James says, more or less; yet everybody that has the New Birth has a new nature along with the old Man, as Paul says, and somehow that persons prayers are answered?  Yet here I am toiling away in desperate straights about my addiction problems for over 9 years and nothing has happened?  I am supposed to believe that Scripture is a means of sanctification that happens through grace and faith and not works, and despite endless hours of reading the Bible now I am not progressing a single shred?

Something is wrong with this picture.  

In the Psalms, the Psalmist pleads with God to help and prevent them from sinning.  Yet, in the NT Epistles we are told that God does not tempt anybody to sin and that He always makes a way out from temptation due to the apparent reality that a person has enough power in themselves to overcome such.  Jesus said, "Lead us not into temptation".  I cannot square these two apparently contradictory things, nor can I understand why God has set millions of people free from addictions through miraculous means by prayer, and here I am languishing in dire straights for 9 years and absolutely nothing has changed.  

Since I do not get audio downloads or telephone calls from God telling me things, I have absolutely no way of knowing whether it is God's will that I am supposed to use my own will power to try to give up these addictions or whether I should continue to pray that somehow someday He will free will.  I just narrowly escaped having cancer and had to have a major operation at the Hospital, my physical health is absolutely deplorable, I am in constant physical and mental and emotional pain every single day without any let up, I am killing myself, and I don't understand why.  

And to top it all off, when I do get around to reading the Bible, I will experience demonic attacks.  When I don't read the Bible one day, the attacks go away temporarily.  This is a repeatable phenomena of my experience and as such is pretty scientifically robust.  

Deborah (previous post) gave input which I was going to mention.

However, please also remember it's very important to learn to resist the devil regarding your addictions.

7Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.   James 4:7

Also, perhaps you are wondering too much about others' experiences with the Lord.    Just accept what the Lord has done and don't compare yourself with others so much.   Go day by day with faith in Him.

[Dave-regenerated]

2 hours ago, Deborah_ said:

Sometimes God does deliver us miraculously from sin, but more often He doesn't. Sanctification is a slow, stop-start process, and anyone who says otherwise is misleading you.

It's the same with healing. Healing does happen (it's happened to me), but it isn't a universal experience. 

I don't think that all these testimonies are exaggerated or made-up (though it's possible that some are). God often "kick-starts" our Christian life with something exceptional or miraculous. But from then on it's mainly hard slog for a lot of us. And the main reason for that may well be to keep us humble!

I think the book of Joshua is instructive. Israel's conquest of Canaan began with two awesome miracles (the crossing of the Jordan and the defeat of Jericho). But after that it was down to their own fighting (although God still assisted them). 

Thanks.  I already knew much of what you said, but I'm just frustrated that I can't seem to break these addictions.  I suppose that people that have addiction problems don't find it easy to overcome and so if I knew the answer to this I would probably be richer than Elon Musk and Bill Gates combined.  I wish there was an easier way out.