Feel im too weak for christianity..

[Michael37]

21 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel I won't be as angry as I am. Before I was saved I was just sad. I didn't have anger directed at God at all 

I just hate all the anger I have pent up inside me right now. It's not healthy at all.

God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of LOVE, POWER, and a SOUND MIND, so you can decide NOT to be angry. You have that power.

I tell myself I have better things to get on with when "ancient anger" over "past provocations" tries to invade and occupy my body, soul, and spirit.

[warrior12]

I myself goes through things that are very terrible. These are of a spiritual nature that cannot be explained to those who have not been though spiritual warfare, and I mean spiritual .   Who can you go to ask for help in these matters.  If I were to explain myself about these things, then it will have to include my personal life, which I have learned not to in the internet as it is there for life.

All I can say to you, is the devil wants you back into his kingdom to be his slave to the worldly ways and forget the pathways of righteousness.    Yes, I can feel your pain, but you have to be determined not to forsake the Lord, even though you feel forsaken.   His promises are that he will never leave or forsake his children, though like you, I feel like I am on my own , but I am determined not to give in to the enemy schemes.   If you have given you life or surrendered to the Lord Jesus, then you have to stand on his word as difficult as it is.  Many are going through similar things in their own situation, but we must bear our cross.

From a young age I suffered from severe acne, which I now know was affiction by things unseen.  That led to insecurity in facing the world and then you alcohol and weed.   I then migrated to Canada and encounted things here that led me to give up all and stopped smoking ect and gave my life to the Lord through fear at first. Then soon after that, the spiritual world of unseen things started to manifest and then my life of spiritual warfare begun as I stood to reject all the sensual things that came to seduce and tempt me to go back into living ungodly.   While, I still go throught things, to a lesser extent, the battles, as I call it still rages on.

I see what the bible says and what my relative experience of this world we live in contains and I know I cannot go back at all cost, even unto death.  I can say much more, but only with a live person who is a believer.  There are many things I have missed or denied of life that most people have, but it seems like I have been chosen to be on this pathway.  I don't know that for sure, only the Lord can reveal that. I am now almost 65 and it seems like life has just pass me by.  

 

Sorry, I know this is your thread, but I thought I would share a little as to what others go through too in life, even as a believer.   

Edited June 10, 2024 by warrior12

[Figure of eighty]

1 hour ago, warrior12 said:

I myself goes through things that are very terrible. These are of a spiritual nature that cannot be explained to those who have not been though spiritual warfare, and I mean spiritual .   Who can you go to ask for help in these matters.  If I were to explain myself about these things, then it will have to include my personal life, which I have learned not to in the internet as it is there for life.

All I can say to you, is the devil wants you back into his kingdom to be his slave to the worldly ways and forget the pathways of righteousness.    Yes, I can feel your pain, but you have to be determined not to forsake the Lord, even though you feel forsaken.   His promises are that he will never leave or forsake his children, though like you, I feel like I am on my own , but I am determined not to give in to the enemy schemes.   If you have given you life or surrendered to the Lord Jesus, then you have to stand on his word as difficult as it is.  Many are going through similar things in their own situation, but we must bear our cross.

From a young age I suffered from severe acne, which I now know was affiction by things unseen.  That led to insecurity in facing the world and then you alcohol and weed.   I then migrated to Canada and encounted things here that led me to give up all and stopped smoking ect and gave my life to the Lord through fear at first. Then soon after that, the spiritual world of unseen things started to manifest and then my life of spiritual warfare begun as I stood to reject all the sensual things that came to seduce and tempt me to go back into living ungodly.   While, I still go throught things, to a lesser extent, the battles, as I call it still rages on.

I see what the bible says and what my relative experience of this world we live in contains and I know I cannot go back at all cost, even unto death.  I can say much more, but only with a live person who is a believer.  There are many things I have missed or denied of life that most people have, but it seems like I have been chosen to be on this pathway.  I don't know that for sure, only the Lord can reveal that. I am now almost 65 and it seems like life has just pass me by.  

 

Sorry, I know this is your thread, but I thought I would share a little as to what others go through too in life, even as a believer.   

Don't apologize you're free to share. You're right. I pray God will help me. Im gonna pray in the morning.

[RdJ]

4 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel I won't be as angry as I am. Before I was saved I was just sad. I didn't have anger directed at God at all 

I just hate all the anger I have pent up inside me right now. It's not healthy at all. 

I also feel im in a dangerous place spiritually. I feel damned already. I just idk I just find it hard to believe I'm filled with God's spirit and I'm so angry and hostile twds him not all the time but it comes in waves. 

I remember my aunt who is a prophet told me I had the spirit of judas in me and I'm afraid she's right and I can't be saved and I'm damn near evol and that's why I'm not changing or love God like everyone else. 

I'm really afraid honestly but still mad though.

 

Sorry but what kind of insane aunt is that? Maybe she has the spirit of Jezebel. Let her shut up already.

It's not so weird that you're angry, the way your family treats you. You're just angry at the wrong Person. God only wants to help you, but He does need people to work through. Your horrible aunt should help you with money.

A preacher once said to me that I had to give the anger to God when it came up. You need to listen to good preachings. I've been through bad stuff and I backslid, I was very angry and full of hate but at people, not God. I knew it's never God's fault. I had to forgive them and get rid of the anger, but you have to realize that it's not God's fault.

[Debp]

3 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

 I pray God will help me. Im gonna pray in the morning.

Why not pray right now?   You can offer up a prayer from your heart anytime and anyplace.

Also, if you need one time financial assistance... you can ask "Catholic Charities" besides Salvation Army.

My younger cousin, Rachel, who suffered terribly with oral cancer for over ten years (lost her tongue little by little, couldn't eat food, she was disfigured, her jaw bone broke and she had over 50 surgeries...she once got help from Catholic Charities.

Rachel wanted to live because she wanted to raise her young son... which she amazingly was able to do (doctors had told her she would die soon).   She had a simple faith in Jesus as her own Savior...and is now with Jesus.

 

[Debp]

5 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

 

My heart posture is so bad.  I feel I'm just destined for hell. I wish I was never saved.

So you wish you would go to Hell?   If you wish you were never saved, that's what you are wishing for....Hell.

Aren't you so glad if you believed on Christ that you will never see Hell?

[Debp]

1 hour ago, RdJ said:

Sorry but what kind of insane aunt is that? Maybe she has the spirit of Jezebel. Let her shut up already.

It's not so weird that you're angry, the way your family treats you. You're just angry at the wrong Person. God only wants to help you, but He does need people to work through. Your horrible aunt should help you with money.

A preacher once said to me that I had to give the anger to God when it came up. You need to listen to good preachings. I've been through bad stuff and I backslid, I was very angry and full of hate but at people, not God. I knew it's never God's fault. I had to forgive them and get rid of the anger, but you have to realize that it's not God's fault.

I wondered about that aunt, too.   

Also, I thought that @Figure of eighty wasn't really mad at God...but at people like you said.

[Neighbor]

9 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel like I'm not like most Christians I don't even think I can call myself that anymore.. it seems when they go through a downward period or trial they cling to God. 

I do thr opposite. 

It seems my issues are cyclical and there isn't much of a rest period it's like the bs keeps coming. If one good thing happens 12 bad things follow shortly after. 

Even tho I passed my TEAS entrance exam, I got into an accident . It totaled my car. I'm without transportation. I needed help from my family to get my kids to and from school especially my son that has autism.. he missed 3 days in a row and is kicked out. It took me a whole year to get him into the program.  I was behind on my daughters daycare bc it cost too much and they kicked her out as well. She tells me she misses school and she regressed with potty training she was fully trained and now she has accidents. 

My family that was living with me. My mom left before giving me her half of the rent.. which leaves me short. My brother was also behind on his half which means I'll have to go to court while also trying to work. Depression is creeping in and I feel upset, angry. Angry at God and it makes want to stop all of this. Stop believing and go my own way and do my own thing bc I can't seem to not hate Gid when I'm going through a trial or even do the basic which is trust Him. 

I'm just so angry with him and I know it's wrong but I want to give up.

Thank you for being willing to share of some detail, as you have over these past six years. Yes I'd be hurting too, deeply hurting, for my "babies" sake if not for my own.

You became pregnant in what was it 2019? Was that your first baby? And now you have a younger child a daughter is that right? BTW do not be anything  but kind and sympathetic to your daughter over her accidents. That is my own advice on that issue. (It happens. It happens to many  kids young and older too.)

Please  do not turn inward in depression and give up, not yet anyway, let's try to see what can be done for a most immediate problem, not all of them, the most immediate one. What is it as you see it?

[Tristen]

8 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I remember my aunt who is a prophet told me I had the spirit of judas in me and I'm afraid she's right and I can't be saved and I'm damn near evol and that's why I'm not changing or love God like everyone else

The purpose of Christian prophesy is to encourage believers.

1 Corinthians 14:3
he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men

This word from your "aunt" was not a prophesy from God, but a lie from the accuser of our brethren (Revelation 12:9-10); the father of lies (John 8:44). You should refuse to allow yourself to meditate on lies.

 

9 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I just hate all the anger I have pent up inside me right now. It's not healthy at all.

It's time you started learning how to rule over your flesh. This is part of growing up as a Christian.

Maybe no-one ever taught you that you can decide to walk in peace and not anger. You can decide to forbid anger any permission to steal your time and energy. It won't be easy at the start - since your flesh is conditioned to getting its own way. Though it sounds like God has organized ample opportunity for you to practice.

Assuming you make that decision:

When anger comes to steal your time, you refuse it - you tell it "No - I am not going to think about that issue in that way". You remind your flesh that Jesus has given you peace (John 14:27), and you are choosing that peace. Furthermore, you have His joy to strengthen you (Nehemiah 8:10). That is, find appropriate, encouraging scriptures to quote at your anger - to put your flesh back in its place. This is how we renew our minds (Romans 12:2); to bring our thoughts into line with God (2 Corinthians 10:5).

To be very clear, it won't be easy. You will do the right thing - only to find yourself thinking about it 30 seconds later. Your flesh will push against it all the way. But it's all practice - till we get stronger, and eventually overcome. Ask God for His help over and over - since we can only change by His Spirit, and not our own efforts.

Zechariah 4:6
... ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the Lord of hosts.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Romans 8:31
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Luke 1:37
For with God nothing will be impossible.

 

 

 

[AnOrangeCat]

10 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I do have government assistance but they only assist so much I got 3 times for government funded daycare but I'm trying again ...as for church people have their own lives.. I just don't have friends or family like that which is what I'd need. 

I can relate to this. I get government assistance because of my disability. But all it really does is put me on some bare minimum for survival that's well below the poverty level. Had to do quite a bit of wandering between churches before I found one where the pastor would do so much as pray for me and give me a ride home to church (at the time I was walking miles on a bad back to go anywhere including church). I'm going to remember that pastor fondly as long as my earthly brain holds out.

Focusing on the bright spot helped me a lot but at the same time that whole period of my life where I was reaching out to church after church and just got a lot of "God bless you" and no actual help felt like a pretty massive fail on the part of the churches I contacted.

I felt pretty frustrated but to me it didn't really register as God's fault. It was one part other Christians failing and one part my own fault because I'd completely dropped out of local churches at some point because I had to babysit my grandmother with dementia. In the end I just kind of accepted the fail and moved on. Jesus said that the love of many would wax cold. To my thinking both then and now people growing cold explains a lot of what I experienced.