How many times do I have to repent about this?

[Figure of eighty]

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

[Debp]

47 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

Why hold on to something that disturbs you?   "Forgetting those things that are behind..." is a good verse for you to remember when you start to think upon the event.

Also, you should meditate on verses that help you from God's Word.    Think upon those verses often.   You need to renew your mind it seems.   And God is good...learn to trust Him.   The Christian life is good...a life of peace, although sometimes there are trials.   God gets us through it all.

 

 

[missmuffet]

59 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

Here is your problem:

"I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully"

God might not even be answering your prayers. Until you come to Christ totally you might have

some problems and will not be at peace.

[warrior12]

52 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.   The language you used above is far from the fear of the Lord, rather than putting him in a box.

Read through the Psalms, a few times and see how men were seeking out the Lord favor and the hope that he will work their outcome.   You have to put on the full armor of God, when going into battle, see Ephesians 6.

Fear the Lord, not what man or the devil afflicts you with.  Those afflictions are what the devil keeps uses to keep unbelievers in fear and depression.  keep trusting in the Lord in all that is taking place in your life, no matter what, put him first and know that your afflictions and trials are for a short time i.e the time we have on this earth.  Absent in the body is present with the Lord for ETERNITY. , and that applies to believers only.   So make your choice whom you are going to serve. 

Trials and troubles, some cannot be described to others, I understand that, but the biblical truths can and so you have to be bold and confident in the Lord as your helper and redeemer. 

Be bless sister. 

[warrior12]

Also, all the post that I have seen from you is about depression and the sort.  Start posting some scripture verse that encourages you and in fact memorize them, and recall them over and over when you are in depress mood or in difficult situations.  You have to encourage yourself when no one is around to, so those scripture verses would give your spirit strength to persevere and the angels hear them to.  It is all about belief and if you really trust in the word of God.  

One cannot be on the fence as a believer, you have to make your choice, cause if anyone put his hand on the plough and turn back, he is not fit for the kingdom.  The bible is  not fairytale stuff, but the truth of  life,  it all comes down to belief.  

If I may suggest, there is a radio station that since I found in our radio, is all I basically listen to and is full of songs that speaks to the heart.  Klove.com   is the online site, where you can request prayer ect. and listen to songs online.  

Edited November 28, 2024 by warrior12

[Jedi4Yahweh]

I think every true Christian has a sin they struggle with of which they have to overcome.  It reminds me of how God promised Israel the Promise Land flowing with milk and honey but after all the struggles they went through to get there, there were still enemies in the land they had to overcome.   The bibles says God intentionally left these enemies in the Land for a specific reason and this was His reason:

These are the nations that the LORD left in the land to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle. These are the nations: the Philistines (those living under the five Philistine rulers), all the Canaanites, the Sidonians, and the Hivites living in the mountains of Lebanon from Mount Baal-hermon to Lebo-hamath. These people were left to test the Israelites--to see whether they would obey the commands the LORD had given to their ancestors through Moses. - Jdg 3:1-4

God intentionally leaves struggles in our life to teach us to how to fight and rely on him in faith to overcome this obstacles and also test our faithfulness and obedience to him.

Don't give up fight the good fight of faith and cling to our Lord and Savior for victory over this enemy and know you are not alone every believer struggles with sin and it is God who gives us victory in due time if we rely on him.

 

[Ghostdog]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

 

i get the not wanting to be disappointed again part and the trust issues. sometimes we hope and pray for something and when it doesnt happen then were like why even bother. but the things is we dont know how things wouldve turned out had God let w/e we wanted to happen to happen. in time you will learn to trust him.

[Figure of eighty]

28 minutes ago, warrior12 said:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.   The language you used above is far from the fear of the Lord, rather than putting him in a box.

Read through the Psalms, a few times and see how men were seeking out the Lord favor and the hope that he will work their outcome.   You have to put on the full armor of God, when going into battle, see Ephesians 6.

Fear the Lord, not what man or the devil afflicts you with.  Those afflictions are what the devil keeps uses to keep unbelievers in fear and depression.  keep trusting in the Lord in all that is taking place in your life, no matter what, put him first and know that your afflictions and trials are for a short time i.e the time we have on this earth.  Absent in the body is present with the Lord for ETERNITY. , and that applies to believers only.   So make your choice whom you are going to serve. 

Trials and troubles, some cannot be described to others, I understand that, but the biblical truths can and so you have to be bold and confident in the Lord as your helper and redeemer. 

Be bless sister. 

I definitely feel like I have a heart issue spiritually... I question if I'm saved. I said the sinners prayer and did water baptism twice. Yet I still am so reluctant with trusting God, anxious,upset about trusting God and I get angry as well. 

Idk I feel like a dead person that's not responding to a defibrillator... 

Sometimes idk if I should keep trying or give up with Christianity bc I feel like a hypocrite and I can't change myself. It's exhausting.

Edited November 28, 2024 by Figure of eighty

[Figure of eighty]

2 minutes ago, Ghostdog said:

i get the not wanting to be disappointed again part and the trust issues. sometimes we hope and pray for something and when it doesnt happen then were like why even bother. but the things is we dont know how things wouldve turned out had God let w/e we wanted to happen to happen. in time you will learn to trust him.

True but idk I just feel upset about the situation.  

 

[Sower]

Take every thought captive, examine it, be it from God or the enemy, submit to God.
Resist the (defeated) devil who is inserting in the mind, bad thoughts/discouragement, and he will flee!
The devil is the enemy and he hates God's own, and desires to defeat us.
If you encounter the enemy it is because you are striving to be Godly. The devil will try to defeat you.

You can remind the devil that Christ defeated him on the cross. Jesus overcame the world.
As a believer in Christ, you have over come the world also, in Christ.
You can do all things IN CHRIST. He will never leave you, he will never forsake you.

Your shield of faith will quench those fiery darts of doubt. Believe God's promises, they are all true.
"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"

The enemy wants you captive to cripple you. Jesus has set the captives free.
Sounds to me, Figure of eighty you are fighting a good fight and are becoming weary.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up"

Get a "Bible Promise Book."   on E bay, used very cheap, less than 4-5 bucks, free shipping.
Has an index to look up what's bothering or concerning, and interesting to you.
When I ask God daily, especially when temptation is eminent I pray that God MAKE my path straight.
Whatever it takes. He has and I have victories over stuff I couldn't do on my own.
God's promises are TRUE!
 

PS, Pay attention to the fact that God's method of answering prayers is always better.
His ways are not man's. And his timing is his timing.
You can not learn to trust till God see's you trusting, no matter how little. It will grow.