How many times do I have to repent about this?

[warrior12]

5 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I definitely feel like I have a heart issue spiritually... I question if I'm saved. I said the sinners prayer and did water baptism twice. Yet I still am so reluctant with trusting God, anxious,upset about trusting God and I get angry as well. 

Idk I feel like a dead person that's not responding to a defibrillator... 

Sometimes idk if I should keep trying or give up with Christianity bc I feel like a hypocrite and I can't change myself. It's exhausting.

And this  you have to understand about the world we live in and the truths of the bible.  There is the physical, which we see and the spriritual that we don't see. Both are real, but most cannot relate to the spiritual part, which mentions the all the things  cannot be manifested before us as to a confirmation of its truths.  

Satan is the god of this world, as mentioned in the bible, meaning he is a counterfieter and deceiver who uses tools to keep the souls of men in the carnal condition.  For lack of a real description, see this article, which depicts his stratgems.  Two of his main weapons are Fear and Doubt, which then keeps men on the fence or to want to cling to the world and the things of it.             https://www.gotquestions.org/Satan-god-world.html

When you really realize that we do not fight against flesh and blood , but the spiritual host of wickeness in hight places, then you would be able to stand your grounds and fight the good fight of faith.   You see, you really cannot see in the physical the foes that are troubling you, because they are spiritual in nature, and thus your dependence on the Lord Jesus as your helper and guide in this walk of life.  

I would say this too.  I don't disregard that mental health can be a problem with humans, but much of that aspect is not really understood by even the top people who studies this field.  It is dealing with a part of man that is really difficult to understand, just like a believer who is mentioning the devil to a world who does not believe in his existence. 

There are people who belive that medication can help with the mental condiion and others don't. Ultimately, it is a decision you would have to make, as it is a serious part of your wellbeing.  Before I was saved, I never imagined that the world contained the spiritual realm with all that goes on there, which I guess everyone has to have his own experience as to confirmation.   Why some are allowed to go through the severe trials and troubles , only the Lord knows that answer to that.  We can say from scripture, trials are to strengthen and reinforce a  believer faith and also to be a witness to the world. 

[Neighbor]

8 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

Hi,  Perhaps repentance is not a one time thing. What if you do have to repent even daily? The serious question then becomes how many times does God hear of your repentance does it not? Will he not hear it every day if need be? Seems He has told us we are to forgive others that seek forgiveness just as often as a person asks. So why will God not also hear and forgive, daily  or even hourly?

I suggest giving God credit that He hears your repentance as a starting point. Then look again at your situations separately from  the issue of does God hear me, to why doesn't my situation change since God hears my repentance and my plea.

What are you expecting of God? That might be a good place for an internal review. Just ask  of yourself what am I expecting  is it being expected or asked for  in a "right manner"  one that God will answer or respond to in a positive mode?

Might  seek out what is a right manner within your Bible too.

Hang on just keep hanging on and keep seeking God's will for your life.

 

[other one]

10 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

Meds just cover the problem and really doesn't fix anything.  Don't go that route.

As for needing to trust triggers, I can't place myself in not knowing what the problem is.  You need to talk about it with someone, but if you can't do that openly find someone you might trust not to turn on you and just let out. Do so here by PM. Depending on what the problem is.

I might add to my fellow Worthy members that someone dealing with situations like this, criticism is the last thing a person needs. It's been my personal experience when this comes, is to talk through it, understanding that none of us can fix it, just be a sounding board while the person works through it.

FoE if you would like to vent to someone who's been there and will listen send a message. I think this situation is at least partly a spiritual problem and needs the help of the Holy Spirit to help with. Open up in prayer to Him and ask to put this behind you.

[BornAgain490]

11 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

Stay away from psych meds. They'll do more harm than good. 

Repent every day, and cast all your burdens on the Lord in prayer and petition.  Put on the whole armor of God. (Ephesians 6:10-18). 

May God heal you and bless you with the comfort of His presence in your life. In Jesus's mighty holy holy holy and precious name, I pray. Amen amen 

I pray this blesses you. 

Edited November 28, 2024 by BornAgain490

[Neighbor]

Just a thought to share:

Meds, and other therapies are not bad at all, not in of themselves. BUT if used  to alleviate the pain  while not tending to what is causing the pain they will not be of any long term benefit. All that happens  with meds alone is one gets dulled into not caring about the pain they are in whether it be physical or mental pains.

LIFE CHOICES ALL HAVE CONSEQUENCES. Choose well. Start with and finish with the word of God the Bible. Think on the word and pray over it then ask how do I apply  your word to me this very day Lord? Do that as a personal discipline every day. And if you are angry- tell God, have that "little talk with Jesus" each day.

Example: Lord is it good today between you and me? Share with me Lord what you will have  me to be tending today. Show me  your word as I read it, giving me understanding as to how it applies to me personally today. Help me, enable me to act upon my  understanding today. Thank You Lord.

[Neighbor]

BTW- The sinners prayer, and baptism(s), no matter how many times  said or done is not an end, nor a beginning even. It is simply your announcement, your calling out to God;  "Put me in the game, I'm ready to play today. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play"-

Now you are in the game, play your best no matter how many errors  are committed by you. Play your own best game, never giving up while there is still time to play on this side of the grass.

[Katie Rose Müller]

I have been angry with God. It took a bit to diagnose that because we all know it's wrong to be angry with Him. I have been through a lot of stuff medically with little relief and I was getting frustrated and angry. Had a lot of issues mentally for about a year or two until I finally confessed my sin. And I went before God and was just honest and said, "I know it's wrong, but I'm angry and frustrated with you." And I told Him I needed help; I couldn't do this anymore.

I had to come to terms that sin from past generations had caused my problems, not Him. He wasn't just torturing me for the sake of torture. I was in the world and I would suffer in the world just like every one else. I wasn't immune from it, just because I was a Christian.

The Church at Smyrna was told be faithful unto death, that they would suffer persecution. They didn't escape and neither can any of us. Once I confessed my true emotions, asked to help navigate through those emotions and came to terms that this was the world, things improved dramatically.

You have to change the way you think of and towards God; you have to confess your own sins; you have to accept the reality of your situation that it is what is because we are in the world and not immune from the effects of sin. If someone is foolish and starts a fire and it catches the whole neighborhood on fire, the neighbors did nothing sinful or wrong, but suffered loss because of one person's incompetence. And we too, get burned, not because we did anything inherently bad, but because other people made mistakes.

Forgiveness, confession, and retraining your thoughts on how you think of God is the only way to overcome.

 

[Vine Abider]

@Figure of eighty  Two bottom-line truths come to mind as I read this thread you started:  God loves you, and you have an enemy.

Let's start with what the enemy wants to do to you - steal from you, kill you, destroy you (John 10:10).  All that comes from him, whether it's from the world or your own fallen flesh, has this ultimate purpose . . . your destruction and keeping you from knowing the truth in Christ.

And then there's God - He loves you and has "sent the Spirit of His Son into your heart crying out 'Daddy!  Daddy!'" (Gal 4:6)  He wants the very best for you, which is why Christ has come to live in you.

In this universe there's really only two sources to draw upon - Christ and the enemy.  All that God has for you is in Christ, who lives in His believers.  Think of all the amazing, most positive things the bible has to say about born-again believers . . . it's basically nothing but encouragement.

So if you are full of discouraging things, you know what source it is from, and it's a lie.

But you can't think yourself out of the devil's snare - you have to speak the truth of God's word . . . and I would do that out loud and boldly.  His living word will then have a way to permeate your being and cause the enemy to flee.

(and remember that the shed blood of Jesus for your sins is all powerful and does not need to be used over and over for the same thing! <this is a snare of Satan>  Repent of the sin once, claim the shed blood of Christ and move on.  And if/when the depressing thought comes back, tell the Lord something like: "Here it is again Lord.  I gave this to You already and trust the power of your precious blood, and this sin is removed as far as the east is from the west!* Enemy listen up - Jesus loves me and died for me to give me liberty, so in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ who lives in me - LEAVE ME ALONE!")

* "as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us"  Psalm 103:12

[Figure of eighty]

11 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said:

I agree completely with this. Paul had his thorn that he prayed to be removed but then after multiple instances of prayer he concluded that it served a purpose in his Christian walk. The specific things we struggle with are different but the struggle with something is probably something that hits us all whether we're conscious of it or not. I read a section of the book of Hebrews just a scant few hours ago and it spoke of people who placed their trust in God and held on to faith for better things in Heaven. They never got to see the reward during their earthly lives.

I went through the ringer with this one. I used to get periods where my brain just constantly spilled out anger and insults toward God and the Holy Spirit. It was the latter that disturbed me a lot and sent me into panic and tears and no matter how much I prayed or said I was sorry I'd be in fear over it. It wasn't until I would feel the presence of God again that I felt I could relax and settle into emotional exhaustion. I think that lasted a good 25+ years of my life before it faded in the wake of a particularly bad instance spurring me to step up my Christian life. That made a huge difference for me. My fears were rooted in my emotions so doing things that emotionally made me feel more secure as a Christian did a lot to counter the fear.

As an aside I've come to believe that I suffer(ed) from a form of OCD called scrupulosity. Dealing with any form of OCD differs from person to person but in my case I felt like the more I acknowledged my worries over these thoughts the more I prolonged the unpleasant experience of them. So I learned to ignore them and distract myself with whatever.

So far as repenting goes I personally see repentance as a process, sometimes a very long one. Acknowledging error and asking for forgiveness is part of it, but so is committing to do better even if you end up stumbling a lot in the way. Some of us probably beat ourselves up for our sins more than we need to and it's more to satisfy ourselves since we're already covered by the blood of Jesus and good with God.

This is more of an ask yourself rather than answer here, but has anything changed for the better in your life over the past few years? I personally feel like you're stuck going in circles, a lot of that involving your environment. I certainly did for a long time in my situation that I mentioned above and felt it in other ways when I was trapped in abusive situations. When nothing changes in your internal (your thoughts and emotions) or external (your circumstances and the people around you) environments it's harder to enact change.

I truly feel like I'm developing ocd in a sense. I struggle with intrusive thoughts. I think it's time for me to face the music and try meds before I'm worse off than I am now.. im so upset my mind is broken and thus making me a broken human being. I could cry. I wish I was normal. 

[Figure of eighty]

4 hours ago, Katie Rose Müller said:

I have been angry with God. It took a bit to diagnose that because we all know it's wrong to be angry with Him. I have been through a lot of stuff medically with little relief and I was getting frustrated and angry. Had a lot of issues mentally for about a year or two until I finally confessed my sin. And I went before God and was just honest and said, "I know it's wrong, but I'm angry and frustrated with you." And I told Him I needed help; I couldn't do this anymore.

I had to come to terms that sin from past generations had caused my problems, not Him. He wasn't just torturing me for the sake of torture. I was in the world and I would suffer in the world just like every one else. I wasn't immune from it, just because I was a Christian.

The Church at Smyrna was told be faithful unto death, that they would suffer persecution. They didn't escape and neither can any of us. Once I confessed my true emotions, asked to help navigate through those emotions and came to terms that this was the world, things improved dramatically.

You have to change the way you think of and towards God; you have to confess your own sins; you have to accept the reality of your situation that it is what is because we are in the world and not immune from the effects of sin. If someone is foolish and starts a fire and it catches the whole neighborhood on fire, the neighbors did nothing sinful or wrong, but suffered loss because of one person's incompetence. And we too, get burned, not because we did anything inherently bad, but because other people made mistakes.

Forgiveness, confession, and retraining your thoughts on how you think of God is the only way to overcome.

 

I feel im gonna need medication for that part. I thought I had a handle on my intrusive thoughts but I don't. Im just gonna try to get medication from my therapist to try and help me.