How many times do I have to repent about this?

[farouk]

5 minutes ago, Debp said:

Did you ever try getting into the Word of God and remember to use God's Word (verses that apply) when these thoughts assail you?   If you do, those thoughts will lessen more and more as time goes by.   Your mind will be renewed.

A few of us have encouraged you to get into God's Word.   I think you said you would try to make time for it.   Did you?

 

How can the believer expect to live indeed without prayer and the Scriptures? Good questions there.............

[farouk]

19 hours ago, Sower said:

Take every thought captive, examine it, be it from God or the enemy, submit to God.
Resist the (defeated) devil who is inserting in the mind, bad thoughts/discouragement, and he will flee!
The devil is the enemy and he hates God's own, and desires to defeat us.
If you encounter the enemy it is because you are striving to be Godly. The devil will try to defeat you.

You can remind the devil that Christ defeated him on the cross. Jesus overcame the world.
As a believer in Christ, you have over come the world also, in Christ.
You can do all things IN CHRIST. He will never leave you, he will never forsake you.

Your shield of faith will quench those fiery darts of doubt. Believe God's promises, they are all true.
"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"

The enemy wants you captive to cripple you. Jesus has set the captives free.
Sounds to me, Figure of eighty you are fighting a good fight and are becoming weary.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up"

Get a "Bible Promise Book."   on E bay, used very cheap, less than 4-5 bucks, free shipping.
Has an index to look up what's bothering or concerning, and interesting to you.
When I ask God daily, especially when temptation is eminent I pray that God MAKE my path straight.
Whatever it takes. He has and I have victories over stuff I couldn't do on my own.
God's promises are TRUE!
 

PS, Pay attention to the fact that God's method of answering prayers is always better.
His ways are not man's. And his timing is his timing.
You can not learn to trust till God see's you trusting, no matter how little. It will grow.

Reminds me also of Ephesians 6 and the whole armor of God...........

[Hinds Feet]

21 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I seem to have an anger and sadness I can't let go. I went through an unexpected and disappointing experience ( don't want to talk about it ) 

 

I feel the more I hold on to it. The more it messes with me mentally, to the point I was having nightmares chronically every time I closed my eyes..but when I repented they stopped.. but it's like my mind can't let it go.. 

I keep God at Arms length, I don't trust him fully bc I don't want to be disappointed again so I just keep him far away.. 

 

I'm starting to feel hopeless and give up on myself.  Trying to trust triggers anxiety and anger.. 

 

Idk.. I probably just need meds.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.  The power to live comes from our spirit.  That is our new nature in Christ.  If you truly believe Jesus died our death on the cross and rose again for our justification, then you are saved.  So again, if you believe God accomplished this with Jesus. (Convinced)  Yet, we still have these bodies we live in, and there is no power in it.  You need to live by the power Jesus gave us, which is His perfection He lived while on the earth.  This is a spiritual nature.  So how do we do that?  By hearing Jesus words, and thinking on them.  Talk about them with others. (Are there other believers in your life?)  The more you hear and speak His words, the more active your new nature will be.  However if you are alone, it will be more difficult. (Particularly if you are around things that can distract you)


Because you are here speaking with us, that alone says you're saved.  Continue to pray and receive God's daily grace.  They are new every morning, so continue to rest in Him.  May you be blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ.


Also, a nice song to listen to is "Desert Rose" by Whiteheart.

Edited November 29, 2024 by Hinds Feet

[kwikphilly]

8 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Idk I feel like I'm not a Christian moat have warm loving feelings towards God and I don't. I'm mad at him, angry, disappointed.  I don't trust-- I don't want to be bc I don't want to be let down by Him.  I'll only trust him for things I can't control like death and life after. That's it.

 

Idk , I'm not a toy He can mess over. Idk I just feel real Christians don't feel like this. I wonder what am I don't here. My feelings for God has definitely changed. 

 

Hi

May I ask what brought you to the foot of the Cross in the first place,would you be willing to share your Testimony

I don't know how long ago or how short ago your story began,I don't really know anything about you but I sure would like to- sometimes we ALL should reach back to the time when we looked to Jesus,when we Knew without a shadow of doubt that we simply NEEDED Him,the desire of our heart was for God's Grace,Forgiveness,Acceptance .....

On that Day or at that time we often hear people share the flooding " emotions " they felt and from that moment on everything changes but we also hear" not much changed" as well....

I believe we all have different expectations,of course our own hearts & minds can have different expectations - without feeding our Spirit there's no Growth..... I can completely relate to having expectations of " feeling" different because my own experience was " feeling " change--- then there wasn't and I was confused,I remember crying out " Where did you go Lord" or " Why can't I FEEL You,,Hear You"....there comes a time we must Know and Believe His Word- this does not come from feelings,,it comes from a Renewing of our minds that this New Creature in Christ can Grow and Mature-with the Faith that Saves we are Given but a Measure of Faith- and Faith needs to be Perfected,Nourished,Fed ..... this is not something that requires effort ,it takes no effort to Hear the Word of God to Renew the Mind and open the Eyes of our Hearts

You speak about other Christians having warm,loving " feelings" towards God.....what you are likely witnessing is not " feelings" as we know it but the Heart and Mind of Christ which we Know " Jesus is the Only Way,the Truth and the Life.....

I'm not suggesting you not take medication but I am saying that hoping to address issues of the carnal mind is not the answer or" way" to Relationship with our Heavenly Father.Striving to " feel" better mentally does not lead to a Life More Abundant- it's not uncommon to lose our way or our focus or become frustrated,confused,angry or doubtful so you can always go back to where you started at the foot of the cross

What I'm suggesting doesn't have anything to do with repentance or trying or effort or asking for Forgiveness.... thst would be suggesting that Jesus isn't enough and your work is-no,He IS Enough to Fill all what's missing so what brought you to your knees in the first place? Maybe you can see from a different perspective from there ...

With love in Christ Kwik

[nebula]

On 11/28/2024 at 4:09 PM, Figure of eighty said:

Idk I feel like I'm not a Christian moat have warm loving feelings towards God and I don't. I'm mad at him, angry, disappointed.  I don't trust-- I don't want to be bc I don't want to be let down by Him.  I'll only trust him for things I can't control like death and life after. That's it.

 

Idk , I'm not a toy He can mess over. Idk I just feel real Christians don't feel like this. I wonder what am I don't here. My feelings for God has definitely changed. 

 

I understand how you feel about going through an unexpected and disappointing experience, not being able to let go of it, and your faith hanging on by a thread.

I also understand the normal pat answers not working for you.

Nothing has been working for me, either. 

What I don't know if the forgiveness you are asking for is something you did or if you are asking for your attitude/response to something that happened to you.

But what I can tell is that you are in need of deep inner healing from past trauma/wounds. 

I know for myself, what has happened to me cut deep into my old wounds of self-doubt, self-hatred, and wondering...where is God's love and goodness for me in this?

          If I told You I still trusted You
          I'd honestly be lying through my teeth
          But it's funny how it's always You
          I'm talking to when I say I don't believe
          I tell You leave, but You won't go
          I'm in so deep, and I don't know
          What's going on

          I gave You my heart
          So, tell me, why is it broken?
          If You're the healer
          Why are my wounds still open?
          What do You want from me?
          Are You sure You want everything?
          Even my honesty?
                                                   Jason Grey, "Honesty"

People pray for addictions to be taken away, but addictions take hold because of something deeper going on inside of them, and that has to be healed before the addiction can lose its grip. Angry thoughts can be addictions...what you really want is to fix the situation, change what happened, find some solution in the ranting and raving, come up with the "just right" words that would put an end to what has happened or is happening (particularly if you've been played or manipulated), somehow...somehow... to overcome. 

Does this resonate with you?

[Figure of eighty]

11 hours ago, nebula said:

I understand how you feel about going through an unexpected and disappointing experience, not being able to let go of it, and your faith hanging on by a thread.

I also understand the normal pat answers not working for you.

Nothing has been working for me, either. 

What I don't know if the forgiveness you are asking for is something you did or if you are asking for your attitude/response to something that happened to you.

But what I can tell is that you are in need of deep inner healing from past trauma/wounds. 

I know for myself, what has happened to me cut deep into my old wounds of self-doubt, self-hatred, and wondering...where is God's love and goodness for me in this?

          If I told You I still trusted You
          I'd honestly be lying through my teeth
          But it's funny how it's always You
          I'm talking to when I say I don't believe
          I tell You leave, but You won't go
          I'm in so deep, and I don't know
          What's going on

          I gave You my heart
          So, tell me, why is it broken?
          If You're the healer
          Why are my wounds still open?
          What do You want from me?
          Are You sure You want everything?
          Even my honesty?
                                                   Jason Grey, "Honesty"

People pray for addictions to be taken away, but addictions take hold because of something deeper going on inside of them, and that has to be healed before the addiction can lose its grip. Angry thoughts can be addictions...what you really want is to fix the situation, change what happened, find some solution in the ranting and raving, come up with the "just right" words that would put an end to what has happened or is happening (particularly if you've been played or manipulated), somehow...somehow... to overcome. 

Does this resonate with you?

Yep it does. I feel I'm in a bad place spiritually. I just feel I don't café anymore about God or really love him... I saw a comment about how God changes people and if you don't feel the HS convicting you you're not Saved. 

I feel my conversion was real but idk.. I never felt the holy spirit convict me ever. I'm tired of pulling teeth to get God to save and change me.

I'm ready to just give up and throw in the towel. 

[Marathoner]

33 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

Yep it does. I feel I'm in a bad place spiritually. I just feel I don't café anymore about God or really love him... I saw a comment about how God changes people and if you don't feel the HS convicting you you're not Saved. 

I feel my conversion was real but idk.. I never felt the holy spirit convict me ever. I'm tired of pulling teeth to get God to save and change me.

I'm ready to just give up and throw in the towel. 

Don't compare yourself to others, my friend. They aren't you, and you aren't them. Apart from urging you to write down that your belief in Christ is genuine --- and to carry that with you as a reminder --- there's nothing to tell you that's going to work out the way you might expect it would. I suspect expectations are weighing you down. 

It can take many years for change to unfold, @Figure of eighty. Over 20 years passed before change happened in me. I gave up and tossed the towel. 

Edited December 2, 2024 by Marathoner

[The_Patriot21]

You know, my pastor said something that struck me today, and that is if you study David in the Bible, especially his Psalms, you will find an interesting and reoccurring theme.

Sin.

And repentance.

David kept screwing up and sinning, over, and over, and over again.

And each time he's get back on his knees and repent. Over and over and over again.

David was the only person in the Bible described as a man after God's own heart.

Think about that for a moment. David was a man after God's own heart. But he was also a sinner. 

 

[nebula]

2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Yep it does. I feel I'm in a bad place spiritually. I just feel I don't café anymore about God or really love him... I saw a comment about how God changes people and if you don't feel the HS convicting you you're not Saved. 

I feel my conversion was real but idk.. I never felt the holy spirit convict me ever. I'm tired of pulling teeth to get God to save and change me.

I'm ready to just give up and throw in the towel. 

Oh dear, that is really, really bad advice for someone dealing with major depression. :'(

I'll just say that for me, conviction is not something I've ever "felt." Any conviction I've had came in the form of what anyone would call "your conscious." 

Loving God isn't about a feeling, either.

I know you want to change - desperately. Unfortunately, change doesn't work that way. Sometimes we have to make the effort to make a choice not to engage in an activity, sometimes we have to find out what the root spiritual injury is and deal with that first, sometimes we have to take a stand in faith (trust) and declare such things as "The blood of Jesus covers my sin," or whatever fits with what is going on, or something to that effect.

The question I have for you, though, is do you believe God loves you?

[TheBlade]

What came to mind is what Debp said "Forgetting those things that are behind."  This is what the lord is saying to you. One of the hardest things at least for me is to just trust Him when we confess our sins.. to know He never remembers it ever again. Fact.. He does not remember it.. the enemy comes to kill steal and destroy.. the enemy can only lie.. so many of those thoughts you have.. are not from God for He already forgave you.

We have to know no matter how many times we fall.. He never ever ever ever gives up on us never leaves us.. always I mean always reaches down picks you up.. As He said just today.. rejoice for I have over come the world! Forgive your self.. He has