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Posted

Dog Diary vs Cat Diary

Could this verify weather or not cats rule and dogs drool?

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768

I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?! My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Author unknown


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Posted

ROFL I've seen this before but it doesn't matter, it's just as funny as the first time!!!!!

:thumbsup:


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Posted

I don't kow about the cat diary.

First of all, we are not "captors" we are slaves.

The rest of the diary should be adjusted accordingly.


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Posted

:thumbsup::wub::24:

Hilarious!


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Posted

It seems to me that dogs appreciate life the way Christians are supposed to and cats... well :thumbsup:

Guest Biblicist
Posted

It often strikes me as odd that men are compared to dogs,

while women are compared to cats. . . :thumbsup:


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Posted

Darn those cats.


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Posted

Cats and Humans

Cats and humans; never have two creatures been so close while being such polar opposites. They are aloof while being needy. They can be unexpectedly communal while remaining in fierce competition with their fellows.

They are wise in their silence. They seem to possess language skills but mostly communicate in stealth mode via a series of movements that we are supposed to know. When they do speak it is usually random, caustic babblings, a secret code known only to them. They recognize their name but have no idea why you keep saying it.

We guard them, provide for their nutritional and sanitary needs, and secure the finest in comfortable environments but still it is typically not good enough and they maintain the option to leave on a whim. They make messes and feel no obligation to clean them. Should you face a crisis they will assist you only if it does not interfere with their sleep pattern.

They are lazy. To codify their lackadaisical outlook they interrupt our work only at the apex of activity as if to say,


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Posted
Cats and Humans

Cats and humans; never have two creatures been so close while being such polar opposites. They are aloof while being needy. They can be unexpectedly communal while remaining in fierce competition with their fellows.

They are wise in their silence. They seem to possess language skills but mostly communicate in stealth mode via a series of movements that we are supposed to know. When they do speak it is usually random, caustic babblings, a secret code known only to them. They recognize their name but have no idea why you keep saying it.

We guard them, provide for their nutritional and sanitary needs, and secure the finest in comfortable environments but still it is typically not good enough and they maintain the option to leave on a whim. They make messes and feel no obligation to clean them. Should you face a crisis they will assist you only if it does not interfere with their sleep pattern.

They are lazy. To codify their lackadaisical outlook they interrupt our work only at the apex of activity as if to say,

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