Who are you ok with spanking your children?

[Emily~Anne]

I find spanking works best if we take the time to do more than just give them a swat. We always take them in a private room, explain why we need to spank them, then give them a spank. We let the child have some quiet time if he needs it. Before he can come out of quiet time, we discuss with the child what he did wrong and we often share scripture. We pray together, then we always end in a hug.

We also believe for every one time you let a child get away with something they know is wrong, you will have to discipline about 20 more times for it as that is about how many more times it may take for the child to learn. We are a firm believer in nipping bad behavior in the bud early on. Some people let bad behavior slide to take the easy way out, when really that is the hard way in the long run, for both parent and child.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

I believe only a Mother or Father should spank their children. Never, never another person, even a school teacher. Scripturally, it is the parent's job to discipline in this way, not anyone else's. I don't turn over the raising of my children to anyone other than hubby and myself and I certainly would never allow anyone else to spank our children.

[JustinM]

I voted for teachers and close family members. The school I attended still administers corporal punishment (with the parent's written consent) and if you ask me, that was a better option for me. A sore behind for a few minutes was much better than a sore behind in detention on Saturday, or solitary academic confinement (SAC). Basically it was all day detention during school hours.

[LossForWords]

I'm such a hypocrite.

I believe the paddle should be brought back into schools, especially when there is a child who has never experienced any form of proper discipline at home. Schools have just gotten out of control because children are not taught to respect authoriti' anymore.

On the other hand, I will not be spanking my child, nor will I allow anyone else to lay hands in a forceful manner on any part of his body. This stems though from not being properly punished at home. I fear that form of discipline because it was never properly administered in my home...therefore, it will not be administered on my children.

We'll definately see how this works though. It would be wonderful if I could solve every problem the way Bill Cosby did...and in only a few minutes at that!

[damo1]

damo1

high to Emily anne

well with me as a parent and also who had a father who used brutal force to pull me into line i say i did this once with my own son yet i had to pull back and seek advice as i sort of saw my father coming out in me when ever my son did something wrong i got good sound advice from my pastor who had two girls and i found this worked very wel with my son

what we use to do if our son did anything wrong we would send him to his room i would sit down and tel him why we are doing this so as he does not feel he is being punished but to think on what he does this did not work straight away as he would slam the door or kick the cat real hard which got me up set yet with in the first week it started to sink in also what we did we took his things off him for say 3 weeks like his games or we would ban him from watching his showes he liked

the reason why i talked to my pastor i was a strong beliver of this as this is how i was bought up to respect your elders if i said anything wrong it would be the belt or a branch my dad got from the tree or with my mum the wooden spoon but so many wooden spoons broke on my back or shoulder wear it got to the point wear i would get even more angry then when dad would get the extension cord this is wear it would hurt and i began to hate him for this he would never sit me down even when i was out with him at his freinds place as all his friends wear like him i would even get hit in fron of them

i took me a long time to heal from this as when i saw my father coming out in me and my first wife pointed this out as i told her how i was raised up at home and she said my dad was mean so she sort of new when to calm me down if i was to lose it when our son pushed his luck

i hope i do not get bashed over the head but to answer emily anne i had to do this in an honest approach even though i am no longer with my wife she stil does what we wear told to do and my son being an 11 yr old boy loves to push his mothers buttons yet he sees when he does this she wil take his new x box and games of him for say two weeks

then he would come to mum and say sorry and say i was wrong for doing this

yet i have seen some take this too far basing on gods word yet i have not found it any wear in gods word to how some can take it to far

wear it says this in colossians new international version open study bibl

colossians 2 verse 20 children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the lord

21 fathers do not embitter your children or they wil become discouraged

these wear their verses i had to think hard on and then i asked jesus to forgive me for my stance on how i saw this whoel thing and i even had to repent of this and know when my son is with me he knows when dad says no dad means no and he does not push dad but i sit down with him know and we talk very openly yet i had to also ask my son to forgive me for the way i treated him and he has only know began to do this and its been good just talking openly like this with my 11 yr old as i could not do this with my own father and my son respects me for the new stance i am taking

yet other parents should have a right how to bring their kids up also with out people playing god or judge or caling family services on matters such as this as this does nothing but make other parents feel bad and i have seen to many punch ups when some one does stick their nose in it happens hear in the comunity i live in and one mother i know is fighting to get her kids and i am about to do up a report so as too back this mother up

i hope i have been able to share with out me being bashed over the head we are only human

and its only threw patience and christs love a person can change

god bless from damien

[Guest Veronica Moser]

I am against spanking altogether. I used to get spanked alot until I learned to like it. Then one thing led to another. Thank God He has delivered me from the fetishes that used to dominate my life.

[Giaour]

My grandparents whooped my butt when I needed it and as a new gramma, if Azura needs a spanking and I am babysitting her, by golly she's gonna get one.

Grandkids will walk all over their grandparents if they know that they cant disclipine them. I know, I did it.

[ParanoidAndroid]

The purpose of spanking should not be to make your children fear you.

and what do you think Christianity is? all love?

edited to add: it's not about fearing the parents. it's fearing the consequences.

Emily~Anne - I agree completely, well said.

exrockstar - I don't know what you think Christianity is, but while I agree it certainly isn't all Love, it is definitely not Fear. Not in the sense we generally mean in this context (terror, scared). It is said in scripture that we are to "fear God". But the word "fear" in our modern world means many things. I did a bit of a search for this a fair time back, and I found at least 18 different Hebrew words that are translated into English as "Fear". Each of them describe a different aspect of fear. There is only one word translated as Fear that is ever associated with "Fear God". And that word has the undertones of fear as in overwhelming awe. Much like an NFL star might feel "fear" (awe, respect, wonder) at running out for the Superbowl Final, that is the context of Fear ascribed to God. It is healthy, even natural - and why not: We often forget how big our God is, because of our personal relationship with him. But God is big. He is the creator of everything, the one who made everythign possible and brought everything into existence. He has our very lives in his grasp. He is wondrous and mighty, and certainly worthy of respect and awe.

But I digress. My point is that the type of Fear described in the Bible is a very specific sort. The type of fear that someone would get from a spanking is rather different. This fear carries no overtones of reverence and awe. The person is afraid and scared of the consequence of a smack, therefore the action is suppressed. But it is only suppressed - it is not dealt with.

Back on topic now, perhaps a spank in the formative years of development will help to permanently curb a behaviour, but once the child reaches the age where they have developed their moral-base, a spank will not stop the cause of a behaviour, only the symptom. Letting a teacher paddle a child will only (at best) stop the child from acting up IN THAT CLASS. Outside, when the punisher is gone, and fear of punishment is gone, the behaviour returns. It is far more effective (but also far harder to accomplish) to deal with the root of the problem, not the behaviour arising from the problem.

It might also exacerbate problems - punishment might lead to resentment, anger, vengeance, and a myriad of other feelings, which results in a deepening of the problem.

Sorry, I'll refrain from ranting any further. All the best, folks

~ Paranoid Android

[Axxman]

I'd call the cops on ANYONE who hit my kids! I know its supposedly all 'Christ-like" and all to hit your kids with a belt, or piece of wood...or God forbid, strike them with your own hand...but if you can't find better ways to handle your kids without hitting them, then perhaps some parenting classes are in order.

My favorite reply on this topic so far was when someone said that spanking should be utilized ONLY in certain cases such as "harming another human." Thats such an oxymoron! I'm going to teach my kids that harming another human is wrong by hitting them??? I think not.

Spanking has been BANNED in the United States and you can be arrested for doing it.

[KeilanS]

I am not against spanking (and bear in mind, I'm only 16, so my being-spanked days are not that far gone, haha) but I would like to try and avoid it with my children. Of course it won't even be legal at that point (if it is now?) but I'll answer hypothetically.

I think that spanking is not necessary if you have harsh punishments and you carry them out. I quite often see parents making idle threats "If you don't come to supper, no TV for a week" yet the next day the child is happily watching TV. The most important thing to do is to make sure your punishments are being followed with militant certainty. If the punishment is ignored, make it worse (1 week grounding, 2 weeks grounding, etc.)

Children do not learn to be behaved properly through idle threats.