Come On, Let's Go to the Deep End of the Pool!

[OneLight]

Even though I know many people, to find one that you feel has the wisdom to help ... well, let's just say that I would have to be led by the Spirit to talk to someone else besides Him about matters that I have placed in His hands.

OneLight

[tsth]

Even though I know many people, to find one that you feel has the wisdom to help ... well, let's just say that I would have to be led by the Spirit to talk to someone else besides Him about matters that I have placed in His hands.

OneLight

That's a VERY IMPORTANT factor as well. It's hard to talk about deep things, especially when you're a devout Christian, and maybe those around you, are not. There is where it can get touchy and uncomfortable. We have relatives that seem to be nominal in Christianity. To speak of the things of Christ, makes them a bit uncomfortable.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[anitarose]

To throw my five cents in (inflation).....

I know the touchy area for me is talking about divorce. I know, I know, we've all been over my situation with a fine toothed comb several times. But I try to open up and talk about my divorce because I feel it's almost therapeutic to talk about in one of these chats, even though I know there's others that don't agree with me about my divorce specifically.

I have tried to be myself and not be someone who changes persona---I am pretty much the same online as I am IRL. If you were to talk to me on the phone you will find out that I'm the same person. My speaking style is pretty much the same as my typing style.

I'll admit it does anger me when someone tells me I have to go back to my husband even though he's broken his vows several times over. I know the life I'm living at this point. I know where my relationship with God is. So for others to say something that they haven't lived or don't know what I'm going through is when my blood kinda boils a bit.

I will say, however, that I AM getting help and prayer with someone online who has become a good friend and they know who they are. Thank you to that person for all your help and guidance.

Anita

[Guest TheChief]

I can agree that the trust issue can be central to the prevention of deeper discussions on just about any topic. Along with that, take into account that the recipient may really not want to hear what you have to say! Sometimes deep discussions may tend to open up ideas or thoughts that the recipient would just as soon like to ignore or not be reminded of, regardless of how lovingly presented or well intended.

My 7 cents (inflation is worse here )

[MeCajunboy]

Is it just me, OR does it seem harder and harder to carry on conversations of depth anymore?

It seems like it's harder and harder to find conditions that are conducive to conversations of depth, and I think people are longing for it.

We're surrounded by mediocrity and superficiality on a day to day basis, so we've gotten used to it. I wonder why?

People are afraid to speak of the things of the heart, unless of course, we're discussing our faith, or witnessing. But, for people just to share feelings about life in general, you just don't hear it much. I especially feel sorry for men. It seems as though men are really hurting for mentors, or even friendships of depth, where guys ask each other and share about finances, work, the places they're at in life.

I think it must have something to do with pride. We might be afraid to share that we're not as far along as the guy next door. Or, maybe that we're troubled by our debt, and how to handle it. I'm speaking of these things, because I know that people are in need of counsel, yet nobody ever asks, or shares about stuff like that.

I found that even within churches, most of the gatherings are social in nature, but not conducive to any deep conversations. It's usually something like potluck dinners and stuff like that. We're people come together, but fellowship is "light" in nature.

Just thinking out loud here, as even among the churches, it seems as though there's something of depth that is missing?

Anybody else noticing this?

In His Love,

Suzanne

Honestly Suzanne, I don't see it here in my environment and work place. I surround myself with other Christians or at least those with kind giving hearts (those who enjoy doing for others and put other before themselves) and avoid those who only think of themselves. Just yesterday, I confronted a friend at work who seems to get depressed at times; (he's gay) and aging. And I don't think he's altogether happy and satisfied with his life lately. So I began talking with him about another lifestyle. He already professes to be a Christian so I began from that point. After a while , I asked him if he'd ever considered being and living without a male partner. He noted that he'd thought about it especially now that he's getting along in life and is very comfortable by himself. I dare say that I wanted to remind him that if he decides to tackle this style that he might grow old alone, but I thought I'd wait for another opportunity to talk with him at a later time. For now, I gave him much material to hash over in his mind and he claims to have never really liked what he's done and he knows full well that it offends Our Lord God. Well ! That blew me away. I began to think , "If I dared to try to bring another soul to God , especially one with this past. It would definately be a challange for me and that made me all the more determined.

All this to say, that I know I take many risks in a workplace that caters to Government employees, but hey! Wouldn't Jesus have done the same thing if HE were still roaming the earth, especially in a Sinful town like New Orleans? People were shocked by the ravishing Hurricane a few years ago, but I wouldn't even be surprised it God swept a Fire that would consume the entire city of sin, in particular the infamous Burbon Street. Sad I know, but I've seen my share of degradation and rot. And I would be for whatever God plans to get these mindless and sinful people's attention here.

Sorry I rambled a bit but all that to say that we can always find something interesting and deep to talk about here if our hearts in it. But I do know what you're referring to when you speak of the U.S. as a nation and its communities.

Blessings

Cajunboy

[damo1]

damo1

well like brother stan hear i am the same men seem to find intamacy with jesus as i like talking on subjects like this but with those i trust i wil not go deep if by what i say is going to be taken as a joke or some one can not understand what i am saying due to trying to express your self in cyber space as i have seen people like to pull people up on their grammer and then try to avoid you all together and just stick with those they know wil have propper grammer

i finished reading a book last year called holy spirit i hunger for you i lent this to my pastor he had to read the book the second time as he used what the pastor shared in this book as his sermons in our sunday morning services and night services and every one loved what my pastor had to say from this book as this book talks also about getting of the sand bank or the shallow waters and diving in the deep end

know this book is being read by sevral people in my partners church in the phillippines my partner finished reading the book she rang me asked me if one of her pastors can borrow it and know half the pastrol team have read the book i wil be bringing the book back with me when i get back from the phillippines

well if this is going to be a topic that can be talked on worthy i wil come back and see what others have had to say on this as i said i love talking on topics like this but i am more comfterbal with the people in my mens group then i would be oppening up on cyber space wear as kari said you do not want what you share being used as a blog on some ones web page this is also something that worries me i have oppend my self up in some of the topics i apply to and i wonder if people appreciate what i share from the heart as i am leaving my self open when i do have an input in a topic that i feel i can share

god bles from your brother in the lord damien stipic

[Guest Biblicist]

People are afraid to speak of the things of the heart, unless of course, we're discussing our faith, or witnessing. But, for people just to share feelings about life in general, you just don't hear it much. I especially feel sorry for men. It seems as though men are really hurting for mentors, or even friendships of depth, where guys ask each other and share about finances, work, the places they're at in life.

Actually, I think it's a protection thing.

This is a public forum, I would not go stand on the street with some of my friends and broadcast my deepest needs and private problems. Those types of things are to be shared with a select few for prayer and encouragement. I'm not going to take the counsel of just anyone.

Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

I believe that it's our job to discuss our Faith and witness in public to every person we meet, be salt and light to the World, because that is the most important thing. And this forum is all about God, not us. It's a great medium for us to talk about Christ and meet other Believers all over the world, and I am thankful for it, but in the end, it's all about God.

Matthew 28:19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Our closest relationship should be with God and human relationships should always lead us back to that. Because without a proper close personal relationship with God...true deep human relationships are not possible.

[tsth]

Honestly Suzanne, I don't see it here in my environment and work place. I surround myself with other Christians or at least those with kind giving hearts (those who enjoy doing for others and put other before themselves) and avoid those who only think of themselves. Just yesterday, I confronted a friend at work who seems to get depressed at times; (he's gay) and aging. And I don't think he's altogether happy and satisfied with his life lately. So I began talking with him about another lifestyle. He already professes to be a Christian so I began from that point. After a while , I asked him if he'd ever considered being and living without a male partner. He noted that he'd thought about it especially now that he's getting along in life and is very comfortable by himself. I dare say that I wanted to remind him that if he decides to tackle this style that he might grow old alone, but I thought I'd wait for another opportunity to talk with him at a later time. For now, I gave him much material to hash over in his mind and he claims to have never really liked what he's done and he knows full well that it offends Our Lord God. Well ! That blew me away. I began to think , "If I dared to try to bring another soul to God , especially one with this past. It would definately be a challange for me and that made me all the more determined.

All this to say, that I know I take many risks in a workplace that caters to Government employees, but hey! Wouldn't Jesus have done the same thing if HE were still roaming the earth, especially in a Sinful town like New Orleans? People were shocked by the ravishing Hurricane a few years ago, but I wouldn't even be surprised it God swept a Fire that would consume the entire city of sin, in particular the infamous Burbon Street. Sad I know, but I've seen my share of degradation and rot. And I would be for whatever God plans to get these mindless and sinful people's attention here.

Sorry I rambled a bit but all that to say that we can always find something interesting and deep to talk about here if our hearts in it. But I do know what you're referring to when you speak of the U.S. as a nation and its communities.

Blessings

Cajunboy

Yes, that's the type of discussions I'm talking about Cajun. It sounds like you are having these. (By the way, I do hope that prayers are answered in regard to your co-worker.) But, is it equally happening with, say, extended family? Those are sometimes the harder ones to speak with (maybe I'm confusing regular life talk with spiritual issues as well, but it seems to be a bit difficult with some family?)

As far as sharing, I'm just talking about people in general, being more interested in one another's welfare and life. Not so much about just spilling our guts to ANY stranger, but about nurturing an environment of caring about one another again.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[AnotherTraveler]

Is it just me, OR does it seem harder and harder to carry on conversations of depth anymore?

It seems like it's harder and harder to find conditions that are conducive to conversations of depth, and I think people are longing for it.

We're surrounded by mediocrity and superficiality on a day to day basis, so we've gotten used to it. I wonder why?

People are afraid to speak of the things of the heart, unless of course, we're discussing our faith, or witnessing. But, for people just to share feelings about life in general, you just don't hear it much. I especially feel sorry for men. It seems as though men are really hurting for mentors, or even friendships of depth, where guys ask each other and share about finances, work, the places they're at in life.

I think it must have something to do with pride. We might be afraid to share that we're not as far along as the guy next door. Or, maybe that we're troubled by our debt, and how to handle it. I'm speaking of these things, because I know that people are in need of counsel, yet nobody ever asks, or shares about stuff like that.

I found that even within churches, most of the gatherings are social in nature, but not conducive to any deep conversations. It's usually something like potluck dinners and stuff like that. We're people come together, but fellowship is "light" in nature.

Just thinking out loud here, as even among the churches, it seems as though there's something of depth that is missing?

Anybody else noticing this?

In His Love,

Suzanne

Sorry but I just have to say this....you know me I just can't keep my mouth shut........but ...........................you sure can tell a woman came up with this post ................sorry couldn't help myself..............besides what was Manning thinking when he threw that pass anyway.

Ok Ok I know what you are saying...

personally I actually have these kinds of conversations quite a bit...............but no one has accused me of being normal so I probably do not have the best prespective.

God Bless

K.D.

There is a give and receive aspect to all conversations, and an example might given that relates to purpose. If you went to the bank to ask for a loan, but as you left you realized that you had personally loaned the bank officer $500 that you really couldn't afford, you might realize that your purpose was somehow inverted at the bank.

Not to dismiss the need to be touchy-feely, but many men simply don't need nor want to explore their "feminine side". An in depth conversation among many men (non Christians) often involves strong sexual overtones because that is a primary driving force in men or sports issues because men are physically driven to competition due to the effects of the male hormone. These are the major communication areas of natural men (there are others, but this is socially dominate), and when a man gets saved, converting from the ways of the world to walk in Christ Jesus does not mean that now the man is interested in being feminine, yet there has been a strong delusion sent by the devil to pervert what a man in Christ Jesus should be (the same has happened to women).

You don't have to be a psycholigist to figure out that someone with scars from burns all over their face usually don't want to discuss their scars nor the event that caused them to be burned, and propriety (do unto others as you would have done unto you) certainly indicates that if the scarred person does not introduce the subject, you don't bring it up. The trouble is many scars are not visible, yet they are just as real.

Two days ago I sat and discussed for several hours the life of a new friend of mine as he brought up a series of events (some were really horrid to hear of), and though we are very different, we are friends and I am praying for his deliverance from the snares of the enemy. He believes in God, has had a very difficult time finding access to the church, and if he comes from a strong baptist background, consider his situation. He is a homosexual and yet his heart longs for God (this is not an unusual case). He never asked me and I never offered to condemn him for his lifestyle, as he knows that I am a happily married Christian man and we discussed that my wife is my best friend and frankly a much smarter person than I am.

We discussed how that many in the homosexual community (he said 70 % or so) just hate God because they are so condemned by Christians the moment a Christian finds out that they are homosexual. He had made special efforts to come to our home, and he left expressing that he wants to visit more and he found refreshing and friendly conversation that lifted his burden.

Two points I would make. 1st is that I let him talk, and he needed to talk, and as he talked he introduced the difficulty he has experienced getting access to the church without immediate condemnation. 2nd was that I offered no compromise of the scriptures nor did I show any hint of approval of sin nor condemnation of him. We talked a great deal of the faithfulness of God, the evidence of God in everything from a snowflake to the subatomic structures, and he brought up many family related issues and the needs of others that he loves and has befriended that are not of the homosexual community.

We all know that sin brings seperation from God, whether you are a lier or a murderer, and there are really only two major groups of people in the entire world, those that are Christ's, and those that are not. We are sent to both groups, to encourage our brethren, and to call those that are not Christian to the good news. There are many groups of sinners that are difficult to approach and help, and there is real danger in walking is certain areas, so we really need God's leading and a prayerful lifestyle.

In the deep end of the pool there are various groups of abusers and the abused. How do we reach those trapped in gangs, in drugs, in crime, in false religions, in sexual confusions, and in physical limitations like deafness, blindness, or other limiting situations? If you were able to encourage someone to out of one of these areas, where do you point them now?

I once knew a man that had been a homeless man, and though he gave his life to Christ, and attended faithfully for 3 years, yet the church he went to never befriended him, and if he sat down in church, he sat alone. He asked my what I would recommend, and I told him to RUN from there to a place where love is the environment of the people. I also told him I personally would never have stayed for any 3 years in a place I was unwanted.

So, this is my plunge into a deep conversation, think I raised enough issues and red flags? :cool:

[tsth]

Hey AnotherTraveler,

That's pretty good, but it doesn't count, cause the post is in cyber. But, the discussion with your friend DOES!

Now, I wanted to ask about this comment:

Not to dismiss the need to be touchy-feely, but many men simply don't need nor want to explore their "feminine side". An in depth conversation among many men (non Christians) often involves strong sexual overtones because that is a primary driving force in men or sports issues because men are physically driven to competition due to the effects of the male hormone. These are the major communication areas of natural men (there are others, but this is socially dominate), and when a man gets saved, converting from the ways of the world to walk in Christ Jesus does not mean that now the man is interested in being feminine, yet there has been a strong delusion sent by the devil to pervert what a man in Christ Jesus should be (the same has happened to women).

Are you saying that men don't have a need to compare notes on life, and hear encouragement? (I don't mean for that question to sound snottty, it's just the question, I wanted to ask. So, pretend your hearing it in a very kindly and sweet tone, that I would be speaking it, if we were in person. )

I'm just curious, because I know that my husband needs man friendships that are a little deeper than the workplace chitchat stuff. I also think that in this day and time, that there is a great need for some elderly mentorship. Even though I'm not sure that it would always be received, I think mentors, are a great thing. You know, the titus type mentoring. (Just thinkin out loud again.)

I want to come back to your post and read it again, and think on it some more. I'm getting ready to leave, so this was just a "post and run".

In His Love,

Suzanne