Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 04/14/2015 in all areas

  1. Hello, I am posting in regards to issues I have with a lonely and overly friendly, elderly female neighbor who lives across the street from me. My family and I lost our home and relocated in September 2013, and are still fairly new to the community in which we reside, and no one really made us feel welcome except her. In fact, the neighbor who lives beside us has been unreasonable with us and others, in many ways. She began by waving and speaking to us in a friendly manner. We did the same. Then, my mother advised me to give her a token of our appreciation during Christmas of 2014. She insisted on inviting me into her home and gave me a tour of each room, family photos and other personal belongings. I did not think this was necessary or appropriate, since we do not know each other that well. But, she is seemingly very lonesome. She explained how her nephew is the only family member she has in town, while the majority of her immediate family resides elsewhere. We ended up exchanging phone numbers, and since she no longer drives, I told her to call me if she needed me for anything. I also told her she would be welcome at my home. She told me the same thing. She began making it her duty to walk over to my home unannounced and uninvited, almost every other weekend. Mostly on Sunday afternoons after church. Each time, she claimed that she was just checking on me and my family to make sure we were okay. Although we exchanged phone numbers, she never opted to call first. I may be wrong, but I feel as if she had an agenda. Once, I invited her into our home because I felt obligated to do so. I have regretted this ever since. She became too friendly and clingy for my comfort level. Each time I stepped outside my door to sweep or do anything related to outdoor work, she would immediately come to her front door or come stand on her front porch and yell, "Hello, how are you doing"? It's almost like she was staring outside her window to see when I come outside. I felt stalked. She seemed to develop a disturbingly inappropriate fixation on me, more than anyone else in my family, or in the neighborhood. I tried waving to her and speaking as friendly as possible, then turning around to continue my work, letting her know I am busy. Then, she would stand and stare at me for a while, then say something else. Soon, she would walk over and stand at the front of my house or driveway, and keep talking to me anyway. It's like she was demanding that I stop what I was doing so I could accommodate her. She did this to me twice, last month. The first time, I waved and spoke friendly to her from a distance, but I was very short with her. That obviously was not good enough for her. She came and stood at the foot of my driveway, and I told her to have a nice day. She had no choice except to walk away feeling disappointed. The second time, I became so annoyed with her, that I gave her the cold shoulder because she seemingly did not want to take the hint that I was not in the mood to talk to her. Especially when she could clearly see I was busy. Not just sweeping. I never said anything disrespectful to her, but my ways and actions spoke volumes about how annoyed and harassed I felt by her. She walked away again, more disappointed than before. I did not want to hurt her feelings or be disrespectful due to her age. However, she made me very uncomfortable, and had become quite a nuisance. I allowed my anger to control me because I was at my wits end with this lady. Although she goes out of her way to say " Hello" to everyone she sees outdoors, I almost feel as if she was fixated on me personally. I did not appreciate this. I am a 37 year old single and heterosexual woman who has a family and other responsibilities. She is a widow in her mid 70's, retired and lives alone. She is not my equal and we have nothing in common. Why couldn't she understand that? Since that encounter, I can tell that her feelings are hurt. She has kept her distance from me and my family and tries not to come outside when I am present. At times, my mother has spotted her sitting on her porch, walking to her mailbox, staring directly at our house. Still she never comes over, or says anything to me when I am outdoors. For that, I am grateful to God, because now I can work outside in peace. Recently, she gave my brother the cold shoulder when he tried to greet her after he came home. Now, it seems as if she is taking her resentment out on him, to get back at me. He has done nothing to her. Since she is known as the friendliest person on our street, she has most likely tried to turn everyone against us. Since they were never friendly to begin with, they surely are not now that this has occurred. I have prayed to The Lord Jesus Christ regarding this incident and have asked him to forgive me for not handling things in a more gentle and Christain-like manner. He has also given me discernment in realizing that this woman obviously has a problem that she is unaware of, and needs prayer. How can a person whom goes to church almost every Sunday and calls themself a Christian, behave in this manner, and think it's okay? A woman her age should see the error of her ways and take responsibility for her actions and try to correct it. Loneliness is not an excuse. Am I right or wrong? (I will only accept and respond to those who present Biblical/Godly advice, not Worldly advice. Going forward, I am only trying to please my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and become a better person. Not worse. Thank you and God Bless All.)
    2 points
  2. @wingnut Thank you for understanding what I am dealing with. It's nice to know I am not alone in this. Although she is from a different generation, I have never dealt with an elderly person whom has acted in this manner. For me, it is a bit much. Most elderly people I have known will speak and be friendly from a distance, and continue on with their day. This is a new and unexpected experience for me and my family. I guess this is why I feel uneasy around her. Yes, I did tell her she was welcome at our home, but usually when people exchange phone numbers, they have show manners and common courtesy by calling first, not just popping up unannounced. After all, she told me the same thing, but I was not constantly showing up at her residence unannounced and uninvited. I went to her home 1 time only. Respect has to go both ways in order to cultivate a friendship. God bless.
    2 points
  3. You can listen to a church sermon online if you want. I know a great church I listen to and watch at times, it's not very lengthy, only about 35 min. If you go to youtube type: "pastor James Watts Grandview Church" and you'll see a bunch of his videos come up. He's the most Holy Spirited preacher I've ever heard (in my opinion).
    1 point
  4. Blessings Dear Sister.... I certainly sympathize with you because I really do not appreciate "poppers by",,,,,,,I too,find it intrusive(as it it constant),we are not talking about someone you do not see frequently and stops by to surprise you,,,,,although ,personally,I do not care for surprises-lol And the funny thing is,I do love to have guests,I believe I am always hospitable and all are welcome in my home & made to feel very comfortable.......so I think we share the same feelings and I really do understand I must say,I think you put yourself in this position,,,,,,I know I always extend an open invitation to people but I am quite clear that a phone call is appreciated to let me know they will be visiting,,,,,,,,,even "on the way",,,,we all have our little quirks but good communication is key(imo) Well,it is too late for that but I think it is never to late to apologize & try to "make it right",,,,,,,,, Perhaps if you asked this lady if you could talk with her maybe it can be resolved,,,,,,,An apology is in order,you might want to even explain that it is "your fault" that things have gone so badly & that never was your intention,,,,,,,I would be very open & honest and ask the Lord to help you find the right words to be kind,comforting & bring healing to this bruised relationship,,,, Explain that you are a rather private person & just not used to unannounced visits & that you do enjoy her company and that you are very unhappy that you are no longer "friends"..........All you can do is try,she will accept your apology or she will not but I feel very strongly that you should extend the olive branch,,,,,especially as an Ambassador for Christ.This poor woman is obviously very lonely and I would hope you could make her feel the love of Christ by the Power of the Holy Spirit ,,,,,,,,,and she just might be willing to see you half way,,,,, Let us pray that in Jesus Wonderful Name,,,,,,His love will shine through you & fill her lonely heart With love-in Christ,Kwik Oh,I would also like to add something,you said that she was not your equal or something like that,in other words I think you are saying you have nothing in common,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you don'y know that Sister,you may be very surprised but you have to look beyond age & appearances & not with the eyes in your head but the eyes of your heart,,,,,,,,there is usually much we can learn from our elders & she just may Bless YOU more than you could ever imagine,,,,,,,,,,
    1 point
  5. All the promises of God in Christ are YES and AMEN
    1 point
  6. @ angels4u Thank you for your advice, and I sincerely appreciate it. The scripture you gave to support your advice is helpful and it is quite possible that God may have been using me to help my neighbor overcome her loneliness by spending time with her. However, my family and I did try to be as friendly as possible to her but she began overstepping her boundaries. In Proverbs 25:17 it clearly states the following: Proverbs 25:17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee. Verse 17. - Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; literally, make thy foot precious, rare; Septuagint, "Bring thy foot sparingly (σπάνιον) into thy friend's house," The proverb seems to be loosely connected with the preceding, as urging moderation. Do not pay too frequent visits to your neighbors' house, or make yourself too much at home there.
    1 point
  7. Blessings JesusIsLove I would simply copy & paste it,,,,,,,,,?LOL Just go to the Forum you want(as you did this one),,,,,,click"Start new topic" & then next to your avatar is a littler square icon(silver),,,,click on that & it will allow you to copy/paste & thats it! Praise the Lord! Love,Kwik
    1 point
  8. Thank you for your warm welcome kwickphilly, I look forward to being your sister in Christ. After I have 5 posts, how do I go about moving this topic to another forum?
    1 point
  9. Oops,I forgot when I started reading Jesus is love her post,that this is the welcome section ,maybe we have more conversation after your first 5 posts? And by the way Welcome
    1 point
  10. Can you not have short visits with her now and then and tell her that you do have other commitments to keep but if she is so lonely ,can she not just have a cup of tea and then maybe tell her you have things you want to do and you will phone her for a visit when you have time or her? Can you do this as unto the Lord? I can tell you are a very nice and caring lady Maybe God is using you to be nice to her? Would it help if when you see her again,to think about Jesus and what He would want to do through you? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. 41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. 44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? 45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
    1 point
  11. Blessings JesusIsLove...... Welcome to Worthy,.......I am eager to talk with you about this and it is a very good topic but this is only the Worthy Forum & the place where we come to meet,greet & welcome you,,,,,after you have only 5 posts you can begin a thread on any topic you choose & post it in an appropriate forum to begin a discussion ,start a conversation or ask questions,,,,,,,,,,,,you can respond to each welcome & you will very quickly have 5 posts I encourage you to move this to a forum as soon as you have 4 more posts because I am sure this will be an interesting topic for many ,perhaps you can post it in " Am I Alone "with this Struggle or something like "Need Advice"? God Bless you & I am so glad you are here,to God be the Glory With love-in Christ,Kwik
    1 point
  12. I would say.... just be yourself. If they like it, well and good, if they don't, that's ok too; as you never know who you are being a witness to. But certainly never change "how worldly" you are to please those whom you are in company with at the time. God sees you at all times and has called you for his purposes (Eph 2:10). " For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." Gal. 1:10 God bless you
    1 point
  13. God Is But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:44-45 Who He Is Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 Although Most Will Deny It He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Song Of Solomon 2:4 ~ ~ My God Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Philippians 2:12 Is My Only Hope For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 Whether One Will Trust Him Or Not For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 ~ Folks, It Is No Fairy Tale We Are Loved And Adored To The Uttermost By The God Of The Bible But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 So Take Him At His Word And Be Blessed For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 Beloved But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:4-9 Love, Your Brother Joe
    1 point
  14. Why do you think these are the only two options? Find out: 1. What was the reason for the divorce? 2. Was she unfaithful in her former marriage? 3. Was her husband unfaithful? 4. Is she now a committed Christian or an unstable person? 5. Will she be honest in telling you what happened? 6. Do you both see eye to eye on spiritual matters? 7. Do you both know exactly how you feel about each other? 8. Have you sat down with a pastor or elder to talk about this confidentially to see what is the best course of action? No need to respond to any of this publicly. But get the answers first, then make a sober, spiritual decision. If it finally means cutting ties, then that too can be done graciously. But it could also lead to a proper Christian relationship depending on the answers. The above was good advice. I would not recommend being a friend to her if you do not feel you can get closer to her yet you have feelings for her. That can only lead to heartache.
    1 point
  15. There is no such covenant between the Father and the Son in all of Scripture. There are many "imaginary" covenants which Covenant Theology has created, but there is absolutely no Scripture to support this mistaken idea.
    1 point
  16. Why do you think these are the only two options? Find out: 1. What was the reason for the divorce? 2. Was she unfaithful in her former marriage? 3. Was her husband unfaithful? 4. Is she now a committed Christian or an unstable person? 5. Will she be honest in telling you what happened? 6. Do you both see eye to eye on spiritual matters? 7. Do you both know exactly how you feel about each other? 8. Have you sat down with a pastor or elder to talk about this confidentially to see what is the best course of action? No need to respond to any of this publicly. But get the answers first, then make a sober, spiritual decision. If it finally means cutting ties, then that too can be done graciously. But it could also lead to a proper Christian relationship depending on the answers.
    1 point
  17. Hello Hall7, For me it is quite simple. Be who you are in Christ and draw closer to God daily. We are known by our fruits or another words what does your actions and REACTIONS say about your convictions to others ? We are told to comeout of this filthy world or rather seperate our selves meaning.........stop acting like them and doing the things they do...WE are to be the light of God in this world. Let me say it this way............who is more important to be seen as exceptable.......those who are lost in the world including guys at work..........or being seen exceptable unto the Lord ? WE have to make this choice....I did and it took me a while to grasp this but let me tell you this...........Best choice i ever made.....Eventually they come to your for prayer even if they teased you sitting there at luch reading your bible. When tragedy stikes they come to you for advice and help. We need to stay read and prayed up daily for you never know what will come your way especially at work. God sends us into places not to become like them but to bring His blessing unto them and turn the place around. It is a choice you have to make. God has your back and can bring you more favor even if it seems you have none with the guys. It's about Him so I would say if it is questionable..........leave it alone and walk away. Blessings Jim
    1 point
  18. We might say we would be willing to die for Christ, but we don't know how we will respond until it is time to cross that bridge. The conversation between Peter and Jesus in Matthew 22 comes to mind. Peter was quite sure he was willing to die for Jesus. Instead, he denied he even knew him.
    1 point
  19. Who else would he make the New covenant with? Good grief, it's like we are not even dialoging with each other. Of course Christ is not a mere man, he is the representative man, he shed human blood for all man. Why was his blood shed in the first place? As payment for sin. The New Testament is Christ blood shed for us. If you are saying God took it upon himself to save us, then I agree, but saying the New Testament is not a covenant with man is just ridiculous. Man has a responsibility in this New and better covenant in that he must believe the record that God gave of his Son. Those who do not are condemned. Joh 3:18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.
    1 point
  20. This past year I went through what I can only describe as hell on earth partly because I refused to bear false witness against someone. The end result of that is one of the reason why I am now basically homeless living in my inlaw's basement. So I am rather sure that my answer would be yes. But in truth one can never say for sure unless they are faced with such a thing. My strength to do what is right does not come from me but from God. For I am nothing and he is all.
    1 point
  21. Matthew 15:9 9 And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.
    1 point
  22. If reality is to honor Jesus, where does that place Jesus in reality? Bopeep, I meant the broader spectrum, as in, everything. The set of all sets. set = {} {set of all sets {this is all things about internet forums and it is included in the set of all sets}{set about colors}{set about emotions} } gamnot, I would consider divine reality as absolute reality - it is first and last of all realities. Can you expand on divine reality? Willa, are the things we cannot sense, the invisible things, not included in reality? KPaulG, do we cease to exist in reality, when we dream? What is the dream contained in, and what is it contained in, ad infinity? And speaking of infinity, doesn't it seem everything is imaged after infinity byway of continuums or spectra? Like all colors are color and green fades into blue and blue into red. So then dreams are sort of a cross between the spectrums of mind - the lack of bodily perceptions - sleep or "death of the body" - unawareness of the body, but awareness of the mind or psyche or something... I don't know what. If I went too deep or too far overboard/off topic feel free to ignore me. Thanks all... Anyone else want to chime in? What is everything? Explain like in layman's terms (like I'm five.) Yes sure. The answer is as nebulous as the question. Hence 7. It could be 9 as well. It is a philosophical question that has nothing to do with a spiritual concept, Jesus, or being a saved believer. One may as well ask "How long is a length"? Or how heavy is a weight? See where I am going? God created and said it was good. That's reality.
    1 point
  23. What,where is that Written????God most certainly cares what we believe in... Our Salvation by Gods Grace is given us by what we believe in,,,,,our Faith in the knowledge of Who Jesus IS............. "As long as you love your neighbor you are being good"...................Where do they come up with this stuff?So as long as I love my neighbor I can rob a convenience store or cheat the IRS? Huh? Uhh,I guess this is extreme liberal thinking With love-in Christ,Kwik Wow where do I start. Where does it say anywhere in the Bible where God says I don't care what you believe, just be good? Jesus said; "I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father but through Me". And the Bible also says all our good works are as filthy rags in His sight so just being good is not going to cut it either. I think you need to read the Bible read because I don't see anywhere it says all I just quoted in my Bible. As Kwik says our salvation is all about Grace from God and nothing by what we do. So be assured He does care what we believe because our very soul depends on it.
    1 point
  24. Amen brother, nothing like the presence of the Holy Spirit. When He is with you, and you can feel it, you want to stay there with Him forever. Gives me the shivers now.
    1 point
  25. KING~! The children gather wood, and the fathers kindle the fire, and the women knead their dough, to make cakes to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink offerings unto other gods, that they may provoke me to anger. Jeremiah 7:18
    1 point
  26. Yes, a King. Not a queen. As was said, He is King Of Kings, and Lord of Lords. In all honesty I would not watch anything that depicted my Heavenly Father as a queen.
    1 point
  27. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Even a queen would bow to Him. Make Him Who He is.
    1 point
  28. I have yet to find an issue I disagree with you on, Shiloh. This is no exception. Bonky is coming at the discussion from a different perspective than ours. I agree with you that an atheistic and/or evolutionist perspective is flawed, and fundamentally wrong. It's different, though. Atheists (and evolutionists) engage in faith. Just like we do. I know what you mean by "wishful thinking" and I agreed with you, literally. To accept a thing on faith (without evidence) like evolution, or the Big Bang and then condemn another belief for lack of evidence is hypocrisy. Pure and simple. No doubt. I agree. Atheists are in an unprecedented category, however. They claim belief in a thing based upon non-existent testing and evidence and claim it isn't a belief. Baffling. Maddening. I love what I call "Paul preaching". That is, preach the truth as it is and those who recognize it will accept it and those who don't recognize it will reject it. We need to do this. I have a particular soft spot for unbelievers, though. I was one. There is hope for them. I accepted the intellectual fact that there is a God because of pure logic. I continued to believe in God (and the God of the Bible) because of the compassion and soft hand of a few learned shepherds that guided me. I have tried to "beat" people over the head with truth. In fact, I've done it successfully. I still feel ashamed, after the fact. I still do it, truth be told. It's a hard habit to break. Unbelievers need our truth, but they need our compassion more. They need both in equal amounts, at least. You should never let something "pass" that is untrue. Thank you for not doing that. Maybe I'm just talking to myself, and less to you, when I talk about compassion. You've been at this more than I have. You know better than I do. I'm sorry. I admit that you're wiser than I am. I apologize for my words (but not sorry enough to delete them, evidently ).
    1 point
  29. What if you were living some place where you were not wanted. But you have no other place to go. How would it make you feel knowing that the person who has taken you in really dose not want you to be there? Also how would it make you feel if you found out that the person who took you in is telling people how much of a burden on their life you are? How would you feel about all of this?
    1 point
×
×
  • Create New...