Pre-marrital Sex

[enoob57]

I've never seen any law that says that when you get married you have to live in the same house. Unless one of you is waiting for a divorce to be final or something of that nature, you can get married and not change anything in your lives except having legal sex and falling into a different tax situation.

If you are sure and he is sure then just get married and do it whenever you like. Military people do this all the time. They get married and live apart while deployed.

I actually like this the most. I am at his house about 50% of the time anyway. The prob with moving into my moms is that my 2 kids and I are already sharing a room as it is. Knowing that it was going to be a temp situation for a better end I decided that it would be better to make that sacrifice (I had a 2bdrm when I was working full time) so that in a year I could make a few more thousand/year. I the meantime, we talked last night about really behaving (despite how hard it is). We'll see how it all goes.

Thank you so much EVERYONE

God Bless

Of course I wish for your obedience to God ... but also God has said this advice

1 Cor 10:11-13

11 Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

KJV

point being you have already failed in your own strength.... you need to use availabilities around you like being alone together only when the children are with you or only in public places etc... You must use whatever God provides you for obedience in this matter! Definitely not your own strength! Love Steven

[NewlySavedGirl]

I've never seen any law that says that when you get married you have to live in the same house. Unless one of you is waiting for a divorce to be final or something of that nature, you can get married and not change anything in your lives except having legal sex and falling into a different tax situation.

If you are sure and he is sure then just get married and do it whenever you like. Military people do this all the time. They get married and live apart while deployed.

I actually like this the most. I am at his house about 50% of the time anyway. The prob with moving into my moms is that my 2 kids and I are already sharing a room as it is. Knowing that it was going to be a temp situation for a better end I decided that it would be better to make that sacrifice (I had a 2bdrm when I was working full time) so that in a year I could make a few more thousand/year. I the meantime, we talked last night about really behaving (despite how hard it is). We'll see how it all goes.

Thank you so much EVERYONE

God Bless

Of course I wish for your obedience to God ... but also God has said this advice

1 Cor 10:11-13

11 Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

KJV

point being you have already failed in your own strength.... you need to use availabilities around you like being alone together only when the children are with you or only in public places etc... You must use whatever God provides you for obedience in this matter! Definitely not your own strength! Love Steven

Thank you =)

[NewlySavedGirl]

So an update,

Things get worse and better. There has been no sex(in any form) since last post. We pray together more and I feel have gotten a much better handle on the situation. I spoke to a friend and he put things in perspective for me on the importance of refraining. We also looked at dates for marriage (and because he still wants to wait until after his program is done) its looking like Summer 2012. Which is closer than what I was thinking (winter 2012-2013). He said that once he graduated it would be up to me how much longer I wanted to wait (depending on size of wedding ect.) So, for me, its looking like summer 2012. I don't need a huge expensive wedding. I just want to be married to my guy

The downside is that I have unofficially moved in with him due to an emergency situation at my moms house. My older brother lost income and was going to be evicted from his apt. My mom decided she'd push me out and take him in. She did this knowing I had somewhere to go and he didn't. My mom is not saved and has no issue with premarital sex so has no understanding of the burden that she put on me and to attempt to explain it is tiring.

So far things are pretty ok.

I joke that he is creating a monster and by the time we get married i would have suppressed my sexual urges for so long that I will no longer have them. I guess at that point I'd be ready to be a wife....haha

[ladypeartree]

for you

[enoob57]

So an update,

Things get worse and better. There has been no sex(in any form) since last post. We pray together more and I feel have gotten a much better handle on the situation. I spoke to a friend and he put things in perspective for me on the importance of refraining. We also looked at dates for marriage (and because he still wants to wait until after his program is done) its looking like Summer 2012. Which is closer than what I was thinking (winter 2012-2013). He said that once he graduated it would be up to me how much longer I wanted to wait (depending on size of wedding ect.) So, for me, its looking like summer 2012. I don't need a huge expensive wedding. I just want to be married to my guy

The downside is that I have unofficially moved in with him due to an emergency situation at my moms house. My older brother lost income and was going to be evicted from his apt. My mom decided she'd push me out and take him in. She did this knowing I had somewhere to go and he didn't. My mom is not saved and has no issue with premarital sex so has no understanding of the burden that she put on me and to attempt to explain it is tiring.

So far things are pretty ok.

I joke that he is creating a monster and by the time we get married i would have suppressed my sexual urges for so long that I will no longer have them. I guess at that point I'd be ready to be a wife....haha

Because of your desire for obedience to God so that He (God) will preserve your heart to marriage unto Him belonging to one another in commitment... This has all occurred and God says

1 Cor 10:12-13

12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

NKJV

Where is your escape now if your desire grows in burnings?

1 Cor 7:9

9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

NKJV

Praying.... Love Steven

[other one]

So an update,

Things get worse and better. There has been no sex(in any form) since last post. We pray together more and I feel have gotten a much better handle on the situation. I spoke to a friend and he put things in perspective for me on the importance of refraining. We also looked at dates for marriage (and because he still wants to wait until after his program is done) its looking like Summer 2012. Which is closer than what I was thinking (winter 2012-2013). He said that once he graduated it would be up to me how much longer I wanted to wait (depending on size of wedding ect.) So, for me, its looking like summer 2012. I don't need a huge expensive wedding. I just want to be married to my guy

The downside is that I have unofficially moved in with him due to an emergency situation at my moms house. My older brother lost income and was going to be evicted from his apt. My mom decided she'd push me out and take him in. She did this knowing I had somewhere to go and he didn't. My mom is not saved and has no issue with premarital sex so has no understanding of the burden that she put on me and to attempt to explain it is tiring.

So far things are pretty ok.

I joke that he is creating a monster and by the time we get married i would have suppressed my sexual urges for so long that I will no longer have them. I guess at that point I'd be ready to be a wife....haha

If you're living in the same house, I fail to see any reason whatsoever that you shouldn't just get married. Something is not right and you really should step back and take a really long look at your situation.

[RGR]

NSG, yes, it is hard to do and no one will deny that. On the other hand, it is possible to stay chaste before marriage.

Not to be too personal, my ex-wife was the first and only woman I've ever touched in a sexual manner and that was on our wedding night.

I've been single again for 4 years next month. In that time I've not touched anyone sexually but have been chaste and I have every intention of saving myself for whoever God brings into my life. Is it tough? Sure, it can be. In marriage, you go from "thou shalt not" to all of a sudden "thou shalt and with great passion." However in my case, I've had to revert back to the "thou shalt not" through no fault of my own. That's a very tough thing, but remember, we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

Might I offer one of these to ya?

[Guest LadyC]

i agree with other one. any objection to getting married is now total BUNK. and loverboy needs to be told that. you're now living under the same roof, in every way except as husband and wife, which means you're already sharing expenses. if he still refuses to marry you, then you need to hit the road and not look back, because if he won't marry you now, then he really has no intention of it.

just my 2 cents.

[Guest man]

The downside is that I have unofficially moved in with him...

Speaking from personal experience, whenever I intentionally put myself in the cross-hairs of the devil, his shots usually hit the mark.

[j102]

Welcome to Worthy. I have a couple of question - you say your boyfriend could never marry a woman not of the faith - but yet you and he have had a sexual relationship without being married. That is confusing to me - he is contradicting his beliefs and I'm sure it's giving you conflicting signals also. Why must you wait two years to marry?

I would suggest you speak to your pastor or some older female Christians who can offer you some guidance. The Bible is very clear about sex outside of marriage. Please keep praying and reading your Bible and fellowship with strong believers. God Bless.

Thank you for the "welcome" and the response. Answers to questions: 1. The sexual relationship - I guess we were (or at first he was) trying to get away with"loop holes" and such and we were doing "other things" than penetration. This eventually led to actual intercorse. He ended up feeling really bad about it and made it clear to me that this could not continue. I ended up feeling bad about making him feel bad. It was more than obvious that he wished it never happened This, by the way made me feel like crap "I wish i never slept with you" is not exactly on the list of romantic things you want to hear. But, I understand. It had been confusing to me.

On the waiting two years to marry.....that is completely on him. For me, in my heart and to God, I'm already committed to him. I would spend my life with him ups or downs and be there for him in every way needed. I've been married before & I know what it is about, the good, the bad and the ugly and after surviving a marriage void of Christ, I still would marry this man. However, he is in resedency and wants to wait until it is over so that he could properly support me and my two children and any more that we may have. Furthermore, his family feels that I am "after" him because he is a doctor and that the fact that I was married before (reguardless of reason for divorce) and have two children and wasnt saved when we met disqualifies me as a good candidate to marry their son.

My feelings on that vary. Some days it hurts. Some days I don't care. I know that the bible says that when I was saved I became a new creature in Christ. That is what I believe. If not for that salvation just would not be possiblee for me at all.

Thanks for your thoughts

God Bless

for right now i would suggest that you just focus on your relationship with jesus, and he will take care of the rest. it would also be very good to find a christian lady that wont judge but show love and accountability.