Divorce -- my impending divorce!

[another_poster]

I do not see a divorce section here. Have I simply overlooked it? In any case, I am in a situation where divorce is inevidible.

 

I was married for nearly two decades and for the past two years, wife was determined to distroy it. And she did. Cheating is a deal breaker at some point. You may get past it the first time, but at some point you can no longer deal with it.

 

I never thought my marriage would end this way. I assumed that we would terrorize an old folk's home together. Now I feel the 'ol "darn if I do and darn of I dont." In some circles, I will be rejected for my divorce. If I remarry, I would be rejected in other circles.

 

What has been some of you divorceesed experiences? Please share.

 

I can say that has been the most painful experience of my life. We do need a section that deals with this sbject and offers support

Hi

I know I'm only new here to these forums but I have been through this as well as other stuff at the same time. Just thought I would mention a few things that helped me.

Made sure I had people I could call on anytime. I do mean anytime. Sometimes it would be 1am and i needed someone to talk to so I would be safe. I was very lucky I had a friend I could call on.

Don't be afraid to seek counselling. I avoided counselling because I saw it as acknowledging failure and thought that would be the end of me if I admitted that. Rather silly when I look back on it but of course we don't always think rationally in those situations.

Very carefully consider the people in your life right now and who can be relied upon to give you support and encouragement. For example my brother started telling me I was being unfair by considering moving interstate away from my wife. While I understand that she did not want me to move interstate with our child I needed to so I could be close to support in family and friends. While I'm sure my brother meant the best I had just been hit with three lots of bad news in a couple of weeks including my wife moving out. I needed support and kind words at that point in time. I didn't need to feel as if I had to defend myself and justify my decisions especially when they were the best thing for me which then by default helped me be the best parent I could in that time.

 

I have written my story down with the focus being on what helped me and therefore might help others as well as how to help someone with depression. Hopefully in the future I will be comfortable enough to share that in the testimony section but if you would like to read it I am willing to send you a copy. Without knowing the message situation here if it is like most forums it will take three or four private messages to send the whole story. I am happy to email it but of course understand if you don't want to share your email with a stranger.

 

I pray for strength and comfort and healing.

[kwikphilly]

Blessings KCO2

     Gee,I am truly sorry for what you are going through,,,,,,sounds like you are a good guy  that took those marriage vows before God very seriously & reverently....really,I am so sorry.I almost wanted to cry when you said you wanted to terrorize the ole folks home together

       Please don't worry about what anyone thinks & shame on anyone who would reject you......we are to seek God's approval,not man.You are an innocent,you are a victim of adultery & it must really be a heartache but thank God that our Father promises us that He will rush to the side of the broken hearted........I get a sense that you may have a glimmer of hope yet?You said there is a point when you can no longer deal with the cheating,you do not have to deal with it at all & that is God's Word.I don't know where you both are at this point,in the process of divorce,she wants it,you want it,both?In any event,if there is a glimmer of hope & you both want to give it another go ,perhaps you can go to some type of Christian counselor?And I assure you that God is able to repair,restore ,renew.......of course,both parties must place it in His Hands & put forth a lot of effort.

      I would never reject you,I won't even get into it but I was as bad as 'the woman at the well"-    Jesus does not reject anyone who comes to Him.I'm not one to give anyone advice on marriage but I know a lot about divorce-lol    It is not easy,usually your married friends that you both knew dwindle away & you can feel like you are thrown back out there into a "singles" envoirnment that is a very unfamiliar & often times ,uncomfortable  place.....even more the reasons to draw very close to the Lord,I can assure you that He will hold your hand every step of the way and even though you are suddenly alone ,you do not ever have to feel lonely,not for a minute.

     I encourage you to enter into God's rest,,,,,,His Loving Arms are open wide to embrace you,just fall into Them with all your faith & trust.....the Holy Spirit will Comfort you and you will be at Peace.......a big part of healing & starting fresh is to pray for forgiveness,,,,,,even though she will no longer be your wife,pray for her,forgive her,forsake any bitterness or resentment you may harbor and a pure heart mends easily.......this is difficult for anyone except Jesus...ask for the Heart & Mind of Christ ......& that Gods Will be done

      When I left my husband(the day before)I asked ever so earnestly,with every ounce of my being,that my Fathers Will be done & to help me to go & to do whatever He said....I asked for the Heart & Mind of Christ(I had not one reservation ,completely committed).KC,in all honesty,I forgave,I never looked back,I had peace,I had strength,joy,comfort,hope ........Christ in me did it because my one focus was to let God & let go....LOL,I felt "born again" again     Trust God ,you are going to be okay....and you have us,too(we are your support !)   And you thought we did not have a divorce section-lol   the Lord is Jehovah Jireh    

      God Bless you,my Brother,you are in my prayers....   You are loved,we are here for you & the LOrd will never leave or forsake you!

                                                                                                                                      With love-in Christ,Kwik

[gdemoss]

Divorce sucks period. I filed Friday. I hate the fact that it had to happen but sometimes it is for the best. My troubles began in 2010 and climaxed in 2012. Having experienced some of the greatest and most intimate moments of my life with this woman I had a terrible time accepting that it could ever end. All my counsellors told me the same thing and that was that God told them it would not work out bu5 that he would get me through it. And that has been my experience.

I have faced this with dignity. I undrrstand that the woman is spiritually sick and that sickness touches every aspect of her life. That tgere was nothing I coukd have done more that would have made it work. God spoke to my heart and said 'Gary, look at my Son. He loved everyone perfectly but some refused to accept his love.'

What is important is what we do despite what others do. Believe me many people are watch8ng how we handle things in life. They know our profession of faith. Chin up! Eyes to the sky. Our redemption draws nigh and then none of this matters aanyway.

[Guest]

Amen~!

 

Praying~!

[Willa]

Sometimes it is easier to forgive than to trust again. Trust must be earned and over time it returns--providing there are no more reasons to not trust. A marriage can't survive without trust, just as our relationship with God can't survive without trust. To believe in God is to trust Him and rely on Him. It is part of the foundation for our loving Him. He is faithful to us even when our faith is week and we waver in fear. A bruised reed He will not break.

I always quote Isaiah 61:1-3. Especially the part that says He came to bind up the broken hearted. And how, when we grieve, He is able to bring beauty out of the ashes and give us a spirit of joy in place of mourning. So look it up and memorize it. God is faithful, though every human may fail us. He is our ever present help in time of need.

Blessings,

Willa

[another_poster]

Divorce sucks period. I filed Friday. I hate the fact that it had to happen but sometimes it is for the best. My troubles began in 2010 and climaxed in 2012. Having experienced some of the greatest and most intimate moments of my life with this woman I had a terrible time accepting that it could ever end. All my counsellors told me the same thing and that was that God told them it would not work out bu5 that he would get me through it. And that has been my experience.

I have faced this with dignity. I undrrstand that the woman is spiritually sick and that sickness touches every aspect of her life. That tgere was nothing I coukd have done more that would have made it work. God spoke to my heart and said 'Gary, look at my Son. He loved everyone perfectly but some refused to accept his love.'

What is important is what we do despite what others do. Believe me many people are watch8ng how we handle things in life. They know our profession of faith. Chin up! Eyes to the sky. Our redemption draws nigh and then none of this matters aanyway.

All the best in this difficult time. I pray that you continue to focus on God and handle this well like you have so far by the sounds of it. 

[silviawang]

I heard that the  in american is 50% 

[Guest]

I heard that the  rate in American is 50% 

 

Beloved, Statistics Can Be Made To Lie

 

The Truth:

 

Here are some examples from just a few websites on the Internet:

 

"Fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce."

— An infidelity support group

"Fifty percent of all marriages now end in divorce."

— Promotion for a book on divorce

"Fifty percent of all marriages in America end in divorce."

— From the treasurer's office of a Midwestern state

"Over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce."

— From a men's counseling center in California

 

Divorce is too common in America and that should not be taken lightly, but those who are committed to a lifetime of marriage don't need the discouragement accompanying the notion that half the marriages are going to self-destruct anyway.

 

I was once told by a young bride-to-be that she and her fiancé had decided not to say "Till death do us part" in their wedding vows because the odds of it really happening were only 50-50.

 

Let me say it straightforwardly: Fifty percent of American marriages are not ending in divorce. It's fiction. A myth. A tragically discouraging urban legend.

 

If there's no credible evidence that half of American marriages will end up in divorce court, where did that belief originate?

 

Demographers say there was increased focus on divorce rates during the 1970s when the number of divorces rose, partly as a result of no-fault divorce. Divorces peaked in 1979 and articles started appearing that claimed 50 percent of American marriages were ending in divorce.

 

A spokesperson for the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics told me that the rumor appears to have originated from a misreading of the facts. It was true, he said, if you looked at all the marriages and divorces within a single year, you'd find that there were twice as many marriages as divorces. In 1981, for example, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. At first glance, that would seem like a 50-percent divorce rate.

 

Virtually none of those divorces were among the people who had married during that year, however, and the statistic failed to take into account the 54 million marriages that already existed, the majority of which would not see divorce.

 

Another source for the 50-percent figure could be those who were trying to predict the future of divorce. Based on known divorce records, they projected that 50 percent of newly married young people would divorce. University of Chicago sociologist and researcher Linda Waite told USA Today that the 50-percent divorce stats were based more on assumptions than facts.

 

So what is the divorce picture in America? Surprisingly, it's not easy to get precise figures because some states don't report divorces to the National Center for Health Statistics, including one of the largest: California.

 

Some researchers have relied on surveys rather than government statistics.

 

In his book Inside America in 1984, pollster Louis Harris said that only about 11 or 12 percent of people who had ever been married had ever been divorced.

 

Researcher George Barna's most recent survey of Americans in 2001 estimates that 34 percent of those who have ever been married have ever been divorced. http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm#.U6aWJZVOXmQ

[InfoCentral]

If she has indeed comitted adultry then this is a cut and dry issue.  You are certainly allowed to divorce and re-marry and no Christian should think ill of you for it.  The Bible is very clear on this issue.