question about payer

[Mick513]

Greetings,   I want to strengthen my relationship with God and feel more purposefully in prayer.

 

When I pray I feel confused about what I should say.  I make a point of never asking for anything for myself , as it seems wrong to use God as a kind of wishing machine.  Although I’m sure if I was really desperate I would.

 

  In prayer, I ask for forgiveness for my sins, and always offer thanks for what has recently happened to me.  I do however ask for specifics regarding the health and happiness of those around me.  I also ask for guidance or for signs that God is looking out for me, or a direction for me to take.

 

I’m frustrated that I don’t see signs or understand any guidance that may have come my way.  Is this a common feeling?

 

My question is how do you manage your prayer, and get to feeling closer to God, like a friend or father?  For me often it feels like I’m going through to motions and I feel formal and no quite relaxed as I would talking to a friend.

 

Many thanks for your reading of my post.

 

Mick.

[Guest Bethany]

Matthew 6:6-15  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  (7)  And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  (8)  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.  (9)  "This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,  (10)  your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  (11)  Give us today our daily bread.  (12)  And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  (13)  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'  (14)  For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  (15)  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

Jesus teaches us how to pray in Matthew 6. He gives us an example of how to pray (He does not say pray this exact prayer...but gives it as an example). When I was first learning how to pray, I would keep the Lords prayer on a little notecard and look at while praying to help guide me. 

 

 

 

 

When I pray I feel confused about what I should say.  I make a point of never asking for anything for myself , as it seems wrong to use God as a kind of wishing machine.  Although I’m sure if I was really desperate I would.

 

First of all, God wants to hear our needs. He knows them, but he wants us to share our needs with him. 1 Peter 5:6-7  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  (7)  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

 Of course, when praying, we should consider God's will in the situation. We should not ask for things that are no in accordance with God's will (His Word). 

 

 

  In prayer, I ask for forgiveness for my sins, and always offer thanks for what has recently happened to me.  I do however ask for specifics regarding the health and happiness of those around me.  I also ask for guidance or for signs that God is looking out for me, or a direction for me to take.

 

 

Excellent! As you can see in Matthew, we need to be asking for forgiveness of our sins, but also to be forgiving others around us! Offering up thanks and praise to God is also correct. Lifting up others needs to God is correct as well. James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

 

My question is how do you manage your prayer, and get to feeling closer to God, like a friend or father?  For me often it feels like I’m going through to motions and I feel formal and no quite relaxed as I would talking to a friend.

 

I pray a few times a day. I have my main prayer time with God when I read His word--this is when I truly follow the Lords prayer. But then there are times throughout the day I just share my heart with Him--whatever I'm going through. I feel closer to God when I commit myself to daily prayer, studying of scripture, meditation on His Word and fellowship with believers. All of those things encourage me. When I take one out of the equation, I can see my relationship with God faltering. I exhort you to continue studying the scriptures and praying--the more you learn about God and his love and plan for your life, the closer and closer you will feel with Him. 

[Guest shiloh357]

Hi, Mick.

 

The first thing I would tell you is that you don't need to feel like you are using God like a wishing well when you make personal requests.  God knows your needs and bringing your needs to Him is what He wants you to do.   The Bible calls it "making supplications."    When we bring our own personal needs before God, it isn't for His benefit, but for ours. 

 

Prayer in all its forms is a gift of God and we bring our needs to Him because we are told to make our requests known and He promises that if we do, His peace  will guard (literally "garrison") our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  (Phil. 4:6-7).   Peter says that we are to cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us.  That includes our own personal needs. 

 

The prayer Jesus taught His disciples is a balance of supplication for personal needs and praying for one another.  Notice in that prayer (Matt. 6:9-13) that it is presented in nothing but plural personal pronouns.   Word like "us" and "our" allow us to include our personal needs as we pray for one another.

 

Prayer is not about how you feel.  Prayer is rooted in faith and faith is grounded in a God who is always faithful to do what He has promised He will do.  We need to remain faithful to pray even when we don't see results when we would like to see them.  Just know that God hears and He is working things out in His own time and in His own way.   You are are the right track.

 

All you need to do is being faithful and leaves the results up to the Lord.

[other one]

Mick,  It helped me when I stopped doing formal prayers once or twice a day.......     now I am pretty much in constant talks with him as the day progresses.  I don't wait to ask him about anything....   if I am hungry I let him know, if I'm getting ready to do something I ask him is this is ok and if not to keep myself or others from being hurt.

When I finish this post, I'll ask for permission to hit the post button.....   that way it is fresh on your mind, whatever you are doing or getting ready to do and whether or not it would be pleasing to God.

 

After a while it becomes so second nature that you don't even realize you are doing it and God actually becomes a part of your life.  i spent almost 40 years working for Xerox as a service engineer, and the last 20 years or so I conversed with him on how to repair the equipment I serviced.....   and on more than one occasion I just gave up and went to lunch and he fixed it while I was gone.   More than once one of my team mates and I would lay hands on the things and just pack up our tools and leave.....   i never got a call back doing that.

 

my prayers are really no different than if I was talking to my dad on the phone back when he was alive.   It's really calming knowing that He's not going to die and leave me with no help in the world.

[Fez]

Hi, Mick.

 

The first thing I would tell you is that you don't need to feel like you are using God like a wishing well when you make personal requests.  God knows your needs and bringing your needs to Him is what He wants you to do.   The Bible calls it "making supplications."    We bring our own peronal needs before God isn't for His benefit, but for ours. 

 

Prayer in all its forms is a gift of God and we bring our needs to Him because we are told to make our requests known and He promises that if we do, His peace  will guard (literally "garrison") our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  (Phil. 4:6-7).   Peter says that we are to cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us.  That includes our own personal needs. 

 

The prayer Jesus taught His disciples is a balance of supplication for personal needs and praying for one another.  Notice in that prayer (Matt. 6:9-13) that it is presented in nothing but plural personal pronouns.   Word like "us" and "our" allow us to include our personal needs as we pray for one another.

 

Prayer is not about how you feel.  Prayer is rooted in faith and faith is grounded in a God who is always faithful to do what He has promised He will do.  We need to remain faithful to pray even when we don't see results when we would like to see them.  Just know that God hears and He is working things out in His own time and in His own way.   You are are the right track.

 

All you need to do is being faithful and leaves the results up to the Lord.

I can only echo what Shiloh says.

 

Also being distracted half way through a prayer and starting to think about something else is more common than you would think. I have prayed with someone before and at the end they have asked, did you pray about X or Y, when I had just done it. They were not listening at all. I also find my mind can wonder a bit, especially when I am praying silently, I can be praying for someone for instance and my mind starts focusing on their situation and not the prayer. It happens, but God knows my heart and He has answered so many prayers I have lost track.

 

As Shiloh says, you are on the right track.

[ayin jade]

He also tells us to take everything to HIm in prayer. 

 

Philippians 4

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

 

Hebrews 4

16 Therefore let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

 

[Fraught]

Most importantly, you must make absolutely sure that you are born again.  I was taught that until you are sure that you have repented and had your apology accepted by God, there is nothing else that God wants to hear about from you.

[Willa]

There is not much I can add to the above. But I would emphasize praying for our NEEDS, and not our greedy desires. When we need basic fresh air, clean water, sleep, or money for food, housing, clothing, utility bills and the like we are told that God knows we have need of all of these things as explained in Matt. 6:25-34. But He wants us to be dependant on Him in all things and recognize that He is our provider. So it does Him honor to ask for our needs.

Like other one, we have laid hands on our car and prayed for it to start in the past. God was always faithful to help us, whether to send help when we were stranded or to start our car. Sometimes He gives us wisdom in how to repair things. And I do talk to God like I would talk to my earthly Daddy on the phone, only I rarely asked for him for help except for huge emergencies. But I could trust him to help because when I was little I would ask him to help me do things that matter to kids, and he always found time. In the same way my faith in God was built by all the little things we have asked for help in. Then when big things came along I had confidence that He would help us then as well. Sometimes he reveals where lost things are in answer to our prayers--one of the many faith builders He is faithful in doing.

But I also speak to Him throughout the day. God wants a relationship with us born out of His loving kindness and our heart felt gratitude. And there is no time that I feel closer to Him than when I share with others about His faithfulness to help us in time of need. His love cannot be measured. If He loves the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, and even cares about every hair on our heads, how much more He loves and cares for us. So I continue to seek first eternal riches like the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, knowing that God will supply all of my basic needs as I bring them to Him. We are told that His burden is light. When I take on His burden, I pray and then leave my heavy burdens for Him to bear. Some are left at the cross, like my sins, and He carries the rest when I cast all of my cares upon Him. Being fully surrendered to do His will as He guides me does help in taking on His burdens.

Sometimes we pray that God will open doors of opportunity and close the ones that are a direction we should not go. Recently we prayed that way for a new job for our son. All doors were closed but for a very dangerous job. But he had been told by many bosses that he would lose his job soon due to down-sizing of the plant, and they highly recommended him for this job. I have to trust God to protect him in this new job that was provided, and that He will provide all their needs through it. He has already been given him a starting wage that is much higher than our son expected, but it is still lower than what he had been making and his insurance costs much more as well. So they are trusting God to provied all their needs. God comes first in their lives and they have been giving to Him and His kingdom first before they pay their bills so as to honer Him with their income. This area has become part of their surrender to Him as they seek His will for their lives.

[Openly Curious]

Hi,  I pretty much agree with what all the replies posted thus far good advice.  I would just want to add that you should never be afraid or ashamed to ask God to meet your own personal needs along with the needs you pray for others.  You are His child too.  God said in his Word that he would give us the desires of our heart.  God cares for you on a very very personal level. Most people don't know how to share themselves or their emotions with God in prayer.   I personally like to read the book of Psalms when I'm going through various things in my life.  I do this because I can see the personal relationship in which David had with God in prayer (sometimes when David talked to God he simply just shared his feelings with him).  David wasn't afraid to share his personal feelings with God within the circumstances that was happening in his life.  What I'm trying to say is that God cares and wants to hear our own voices talking to him when we are happy, sad, mad, glad, angry, confused, wounded, joyous, broken, can't find our way, he wants to know how our day went,  to hear if we need his help,  need healing, our heartaches and struggles and suffering etc.,  God wants us to share ourselves and our very real lives in reality.  What we are really feeling within our hearts we don't have to hide ourselves within ourselves but we can open up to our Heavenly Father.  God loves it when he hears our voice in song, praise and worship as well so I pray that your relationship with God would grow deeper and richer in the days ahead as you are learning and that you don't leave your self out in Jesus name.  King David is a good example to learn and to pattern after in how to talk to God and have fellowship with him.   

blessings   

[Mick513]

thank you so much for the replies to my question.

 

Particularly, it struck a chord with what Willamina said about praying for Needs rather than desires.  This encourages us not be selfish.  I will continue to pray and learn as I go.  Thank you to Bethany for clarifying I am on the right track with praying.

 

sometimes it seems frustrating that acknowledgement of our prayer seem sometimes delayed, but I know God has a reason for everything, probably beyond my understanding.  I do still find very much a great difficulty in interpreting the meaning of quotes from the bible.  I'm sure i'll be asking more questions soon.