Should I get a divorce

[Lizam]

Thank you all for your feedback. I do love him. We are going to go to marriage counseling I have resentment because he discussed our private information did things embarrassing like push me in front of his family members, make off comments about me and etc. I love him but I feel everything is wrong I want to be treated with honor and respect and it doesn't seem he knows how to, we are struggling financially, he doesn't know how to lead, and his family is horrible to me. I don't go around them anymore they point out things about my son instead of loving him so I don't bring him anymore. I feel like I married the wrong person. I feel miserable thank you guys for your feedback. Please pray that we sell our home in the next few days and get our finances in order. 

[BK1110]

Praying for you, and for the marriage counseling to help!

[woundeddog]

On ‎2‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 1:28 PM, Lizam said:

 I didn't truly realize all these things until I gotmarried to him and I can not imagine having another child with him or building a life especially since my in laws treat me horribly. I am miserable

Did your vows include " for better or for worse?"- God is not pleased with divorce except for fornication and adultery- and then I do not believe he wants a person to remarry--- what made you love your husband in the first place?  If you are seeking Gods will for your life much time should be spent in prayer and scripture reading . Personally I would say, no divorce- honor God stick it out and expect God to take care of you if your hubby doesn't, This is not a popular teaching these days, but God never promised to make us happy-- but he did promise to give us peace when we look to him

[FresnoJoe]

11 hours ago, RustyAngeL said:

Welcome to Worthy,

Your not married to your in laws.  The Bible is clear that the only grounds for a divorce is if infidelity has occurred. When you say he behaves inappropriately what does that mean, in what manner?

My question is do you love  him and did you not see any of this when you were dating.  I would suggest you speak to your pastor.  Do you go to church?  are you a born again believer in Christ.  If not you need to commit your life to Jesus, get involved with a good Bible believing church and go from there.  Start  praying for your husband too.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

Amen~!

~

Praying~!

[Lizam]

I do believe he is cheating and I finally caught him. 

[FresnoJoe]

Just now, Lizam said:

I do believe he is cheating and I finally caught him. 

Praying~!

[Lizam]

Thank you guys so much for your support. 

[woundeddog]

9 hours ago, FresnoJoe said:

I do believe he is cheating and I finally caught him. 

that pretty much breaks the marriage covenant- but pray a lot about it before you do anything- divorce is just about as final as death, except the dead one can continue to haunt you-- and your child-- I went through a divorce, it is just as painful as living with the person.

[No124get1952]

I am not going to quote a whole bunch of Scripture AT you. You have my continued prayers because I have been through the divorce thing...I have the merit badge AND  all of the scars. What you are going through IS "Hell on earth".  Each day probably seems like an emotional roller coaster with mostly downs and very few ups. When I was going through this, I thought I was going insane....and relatives DID NOT help, even if I wasn't married to them.

If you are not a Christian, do what feels right to you right now. At some point though, you need to reconcile with God because He is the ONLY one who has all the answers. And He is the ONLY one who can give you true peace. Others in this forum will disagree with me, but for now, IF you are not a Christian, do what you need to do to get to a better, more peaceful state. Your son is manifesting what is known as a "generational curse". In other words, he is exhibiting the same behavior that his father because he inherited it from his father. There are ways to pray that can stop that from continuing. For yourself, you need to find some caring friends to just love you until you can feel you are in your right mind again.

Yes, God hates divorce and divorce IS a sin. But you instinctively know that. You made a lifetime covenant with your husband and breaking that covenant has consequences. But, in business, when a contract/covenant is signed and subsequent disclosures are made that indicate one of the parties had issues, that had they been known at the time of the contract, the contract would not have been signed or executed.

It sounds like I am advocating for divorce, but in reality, with marriage, you have the choice. If you are a Christian, you are encouraged to sanctify the unbelieving spouse unless they choose to leave (then you are under no obligation to remain married). Your decision is this, do I stay and suffer or do I allow him to leave? Scripturally, you should stay. BUT (and it is a big but), you have to live, survive and raise your son. Living in and under the kind of persecution you are experiencing presents a huge question. Do you have enough faith to hold out and live in joy? If your faith is not strong, perhaps you should exit the marriage and then dedicate yourself to seeking forgiveness and healing until your faith IS strong. If you are of strong faith, you will understand that the entire husband's side of the family are people who need Christ and God just may have called you to win them all.....a very long and contentious call though it may be.

Whatever you do, please understand that the basic litmus test for what to do next is, "does this give God glory?" Many times you will face decisions where you must choose the lesser of two evils. Please understand that God's grace is able to cover all of these...as long as you are honest with yourself and God that you ARE trying to live for Him.

Now, practically what you need to do? First, find a Christian prayer partner. I mean someone who will love you and pray for you and comfort you  even when you are at your most "ugly" (meaning emotionally drained, bad attitude, bitter, hurting and nose running). Find as many of these as you can because you will need every prayer you can lay your hands on.  Next, find a church that knows how to love people in need. This would be a church that can help raise your son; a church that knows how to provide comfort for people in trials and NOT judgment. You are and have been having the life squeezed out of you; instead of happiness, you have found sadness. You need to be loved back to life.

Ideally, this is your husband's joyful responsibility. But if he is showing signs of abuse or other instability, you must protect your heart and your son's heart by whatever means necessary.  Realistically, I am sure there are areas in your own life that need to be dealt with. That is why many in this forum recommend marriage counseling. If he is willing to go, then go and make an effort. For your own sanity, set a "date certain". That means set a date to decide definitely what you are going to do. If things work out, you stay together, If they don't, you have a deadline and can be planning your other options

The whole concept of divorce is a slow-motion disaster occurring every day forever until it's finally done. That means that it will take a long time to execute and even longer to get over because of the spiritual, physical and emotional damage that it does. It is so devastating that going it alone guarantees failure. You need success and only the Body of Christ and Jesus can insure that you will come out of this situation successfully.

Now, please know that I love you in Christ. Because I have suffered the devastation of divorce, I can empathize with you and hope you will keep us informed so we can pray without ceasing until God rescues this situation.

 

Blessings

[goodbook4me]

10 hours ago, woundeddog said:

that pretty much breaks the marriage covenant- but pray a lot about it before you do anything- divorce is just about as final as death, except the dead one can continue to haunt you-- and your child-- I went through a divorce, it is just as painful as living with the person.

I went through a divorce and I didn't want to, my wife wanted it. It was horrible, I wouldn't recommend it to

anyone, although we had no children, it wounded me and I'm still struggling with depression and trying to get my life back.