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spouse vs friends

creativemechanic

By creativemechanic
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missmuffet

missmuffet

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It all comes down to really knowing that man or woman before you marry them. Do not be afraid to say "goodbye" if you have been dating for a awhile and you do not feel like you can be with that person for the rest of your life. There is often a reason why a person wants to rush you into marriage :mellow:.

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missmuffet
missmuffet

After a man gets married he can keep his woman friends but only in the company of his wife. If his wife does not like her that can get complicated something the two of them would have to work out. The

GandalfTheWise
GandalfTheWise

That's a giant red flag to notice before getting married to someone like that.    If married to someone very jealous, it's going to take some marriage counseling to get things on track.  Neither of th

enoob57
enoob57

It's all in the vows both to God and the woman <-> man... If you don't understand vows then you don't understand anything! Keep your word no matter what... it is What God does!

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Guest shiloh357

Guest shiloh357

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Posted
3 hours ago, Davida said:

Things change when you are married as they should, some prior friendships are best to let fade out of the picture. When you're married you really shouldn't be wanting or needing to go to people of the opposite sex for emotional fulfillment or enjoyment. Put that energy into injecting joy & vitality into your spousal relationship instead. The scripture shows us that marriage is a God given sacred covenant & blessed union, that should be honored & protected by both husband & wife. Any friends that do not respect & nourish your marital relationship & that sacred bond are not worthy of close friendship. If a wife has felt threatened there is usually a good reason.

Couples need to have "couple" friends.  Married people tend to want to be around other married couples because they have more in common.   That's really the best way to go about it and the safest.   There is no good reason that a married man or married woman should want to be alone with someone  who is not their spouse. 

If a married person is seeking individual friendship with a member of the opposite sex, that is a red flag that something is wrong.

missmuffet

missmuffet

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26 minutes ago, shiloh357 said:

Couples need to have "couple" friends.  Married people tend to want to be around other married couples because they have more in common.   That's really the best way to go about it and the safest.   There is no good reason that a married man or married woman should want to be alone with someone  who is not their spouse. 

If a married person is seeking individual friendship with a member of the opposite sex, that is a red flag that something is wrong.

I think it is important for a married couple to have a single friend that they can do things with of the same sex. But as a born again Christian you have to be very careful who you choose to "hang out" with. A born again Christian can not be unevenly yoked with their friends that they go places with or confide in. A secular friend can lead a married person into some real trouble.

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creativemechanic

creativemechanic

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38 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

I think it is important for a married couple to have a single friend that they can do things with of the same sex. But as a born again Christian you have to be very careful who you choose to "hang out" with. A born again Christian can not be unevenly yoked with their friends that they go places with or confide in. A secular friend can lead a married person into some real trouble.

the kicker is to me shecwas a friend long before he knew his wife 

missmuffet

missmuffet

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8 minutes ago, creativemechanic said:

the kicker is to me shecwas a friend long before he knew his wife 

That does not matter now long ago she was his friend. He is now married. Different rules. They can got out to dinner but it must be him, his wife and his long time friend.

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missmuffet

missmuffet

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4 minutes ago, Davida said:

Guess who is still around of those of my past-- my spouse- my number two, Jesus is my number 1.

Well yes. Jesus is my best friend. I can trust Him 100% with anything I tell Him. Which I can really not say for anyone on this earth.

visitor#88

visitor#88

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Posted (edited)

Opposite sex friends should only be transactional if one is married. No hugging, phones calls, ect.  Affairs don't start with people naked in bed.  They start with emotional connection.

Important to note for the men.  If your wife "feels" uncomfortable with a female you know.  Take it seriously. Put love first...Your wife is the most important human in your life that God has blessed you with. Treat her with LOVE, don't tell her.  SHOW HER DAILY.....Love is not earned. Pay attention to EVERY WORD she says, and even her unspoken language. Everything matters. You must VALIDATE ALL HER CONCERNS....If you don't know what that looks like there are several references(I like Smalley Radio podcast.)

 

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Steve_S

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On 10/31/2017 at 10:33 AM, Running Gator said:

The problem here is that everything can be fodder for gossip.  I have seen people gossiped about because they were seen walking down the "beer" aisle at the grocery store.  Recently at a church I used to attend one of the deacons had rumors of a gay tryst due to the amount of time he spends with a male friend.    

This is an impossible situation unless you never leave your house and never have anyone come to your house.   

 

 

I don't think it's all that hard. There is an aspect of reasonableness to all of this that gets thrown out the window when extreme examples are used. 

Neighbor

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Posted

Well please tolerate my thinking for a moment:

Jesus is NOT my best friend no matter the song lyrics that cheer on that notion. Jesus is deity; Lord, God, and my savior. His willing awesome sacrifice made for me is way  above and beyond friendship. It is reconciliation of that which cannot be reconciled any other way but by His sacrifice,  the payment of sin, my sin in full, so that I may be seen by God the Father, and not be rejected as the vile sinned filled individual that I am. I am washed white as snow, not by a friend, but by; God the Son, Jesus the Christ, God my creator.

My wife is not my friend either, not a best friend, nor a second friend. She is the God given delight of helpmate to me, making my life  joyous and full. That is way more than friendship, way more. 

Thank you for your tolerance.

creativemechanic

creativemechanic

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6 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

Well please tolerate my thinking for a moment:

Jesus is NOT my best friend no matter the song lyrics that cheer on that notion. Jesus is deity; Lord, God, and my savior. His willing awesome sacrifice made for me is way  above and beyond friendship. It is reconciliation of that which cannot be reconciled any other way but by His sacrifice,  the payment of sin, my sin in full, so that I may be seen by God the Father, and not be rejected as the vile sinned filled individual that I am. I am washed white as snow, not by a friend, but by; God the Son, Jesus the Christ, God my creator.

My wife is not my friend either, not a best friend, nor a second friend. She is the God given delight of helpmate to me, making my life  joyous and full. That is way more than friendship, way more. 

Thank you for your tolerance.

Yeah I get where you are coming from. I dont like people saying stuff like make God your husband if you are single etc either

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