spouse vs friends

[missmuffet]

6 hours ago, Running Gator said:

We are now getting into a separate issue.  First this was about appearance now it is about temptation. 

As for temptation, we all have things that tempt us and we should stay away from those things.  When I was in the Marines I did 6 month deployments.  During such times you learn what tempts you and you either learn to avoid that situation or you lost to it.  So, going to the club and drinking when there are women around that provide that temptation is not a good idea.  But if just the mere fact that there are women you know that are staying in the same hotel causes you to cheat on your spouse, then the hotel was not the problem. 

If someone is wanting to have an affair they do not need to go away to different cities to do so. 

 

Also, I would like to add my response about the new job you mentioned.   I was a bit hasty in my reply, depending on what you mean by "often" I would maybe turn down the promotion if it meant being away from home a lot.   Not because there might be women at the hotel, but because I spent too much of my early married years apart I choose not to do so now. 

 

I am afraid that is a package deal. Temptation and what you were talking about. Perhaps it comes down to trust. If a husband or wife trusts their spouse then they do not have anything to worry about. Unfortunately that is an old story. Many spouses have been shocked and heart broken thinking they could trust. Human beings are just that and everyone is subjected to temptation.

[frienduff thaylorde]

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 10:42 AM, missmuffet said:

I am afraid that is a package deal. Temptation and what you were talking about. Perhaps it comes down to trust. If a husband or wife trusts their spouse then they do not have anything to worry about. Unfortunately that is an old story. Many spouses have been shocked and heart broken thinking they could trust. Human beings are just that and everyone is subjected to temptation.

Many are so PRIDE Filled they think they cant be tempted.    and  go anywhere they desire.  JUST REMEMBER THOU shall NOT TEMPT THE LORD.

And anyone who thinks they cant be tempted,  they DECEIVING THEMSELVES.   YOU be blessed lady muffet lil.      And praise the LORD SISTER .

[HisFirst]

On 31/10/2017 at 2:38 PM, creativemechanic said:

Something that interested me in a sermon i heard. Tell me what you think. Whose advice would you think is more appropriate

Once people get married, the dynamics of opposite gender friendships change. That's a given.

The friend should realise this as should the newly married person.

Ive come in late to this discussion so my point of view has most likely been said

[Neighbor]

On 11/2/2017 at 8:02 AM, Running Gator said:

I do appreciate your concern, but I do not need luck as I have the Lord and I have true love for my wife. 

It seems that you view situations as thrilling, as people pushing themselves to the very limit of temptation without falling over the line.   I view them as normal every day events that are no more thrilling or tempting than stopping at a red light on the way to work. 

If the mere act of being in a hotel knowing that there are members of the opposite gender there as well is a thrilling test of one's limits, then the problem lies not with the hotel or the situation but with the individual themselves. 

I am not speaking hypothetically when I say these things, I am speaking from my own person experiences.   20 years in the Marines, of which probably 5 was spent away from home.  Much of that time away was in month to 6 month increments in places like Thailand and the Philippines where one has access to every sort of vice and perversion.   Going to places where you would be tempted by those things would match your light socket analogy. 

But if driving in a car with a woman is that thrilling then I will say again the problem is the person and not the situation.   I personally find it sad that there are people that cannot be in the vicinity of members of the opposite gender without it being a thrilling enticement to do wrong. 

As I said Gator Lot's of luck. Oh, as a sidenote just for fun:  I was in the Hospitality industry - restaurant, lounge, coffee shop, entertainment, and hotel, for several years. As the man on the Farmers Insurance ads says. "We've been there and seen a thing or too".

Stuff happens that would never occur if one used more than common sense for there would never be the opportunity.  And so I do suggest not ever placing one's self in situations that can become inappropriate. If you want to get the personal "thrill" of showing it doesn't bother and can't affect a marine, okay. We just strongly disagree.

Perhaps we will find agreement on other topics.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Neighbor

[kwikphilly]

Blessings His First

    Cute cartoon & I agree with you.......if anyone is that attached to their friends that they are not willing to move on and possibly leave them behind then I don't think they are ready to commit to a spouse in matrimony     Its much like Matthew 19:29 and the rich young ruler,imo    A man leaves his mother & father and cleaves to his wife,it's no different with "friends",there is no reason why anyone has to give up any relationships that do not interfere with the marriage(be it male or female) and no reason that any friend cannot understand that now they have a new friend to include,if they can't be included then something is wrong somewhere     

   I had mostly male friends before I got married,they are still my friends but it is very different now (for me & for my male friends)......Theres no reason for me to go to dinner or lunch without my husband ,its just disrespectful    I have a male friend of 40 yrs ,my best friend -we're still friends but now I have a husband and my friend has a new friend that he is very respectful of......if I had the attitude"We were friends long before I met you" then I would not have gotten married.....Believe me,I used to think that way & my friends were my friends,before,during & after....it was never about "friends" -it was "me",I was selfish,self centered,self absorbed & had no consideration or respect for anyone else besides me!   Anyway,thats my take,whether my spouse is right,wrong or just plain ole ridiculous doesn't matter-he has feelings that are important to me ,my concern to consider them and visa versa.....I would not appreciate him chit chatting or hanging out with females,there is no reason for it -I expect mutual respect and I would not settle for less                           God Bless,Kwik