I think my marriage is failing and I don't know what to do anymore

[Michael Cisneros]

2 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

Did you see these things before you married her? Does your wife need help for her drinking? Is she in denial and will she seek help?

No, this developed over time.  She freely admits she has a problem.  She refuses to listen and therefore is either in denial about the damage it is causing our family, or she doesn't care.  I truly hate to think it is the latter of the two.

[Michael Cisneros]

1 hour ago, missmuffet said:

I am only hearing one side of the issue. Are you a Christian? Are you a praying person? If that is the case then you should first of all take this to God. Have you sat down with her and told her everything that is on your heart and your concerns? Maybe you can both come up with ways to fix this if your marriage is important to both of you. You have to remember the vows that you took before God and why you took those vows to begin with.

You are right for keeping a healthy dose of skepticism when hearing only one person's point of view on an issue like this.  I wish more people would refrain from jumping to conclusions prematurely.  In this particular case, I am not asking anyone to do much more than pray for us.  I understand counsel will be limited based on the circumstances. I needed a place to speak what was on my mind, to voice my concerns, and to be acknowledged. When I bring up my concerns to my wife she shuts down and refuses to speak to me.  She finds a way to turn it around and say that I would be better off without her, that I deserve better, and that she will leave so she isn't my problem anymore.  It is I, who is left fighting to keep my marriage together, even though she is the one going down this dark path.  Like I said, it is exhausting, and painful.

[missmuffet]

47 minutes ago, Michael Cisneros said:

You are right for keeping a healthy dose of skepticism when hearing only one person's point of view on an issue like this.  I wish more people would refrain from jumping to conclusions prematurely.  In this particular case, I am not asking anyone to do much more than pray for us.  I understand counsel will be limited based on the circumstances. I needed a place to speak what was on my mind, to voice my concerns, and to be acknowledged. When I bring up my concerns to my wife she shuts down and refuses to speak to me.  She finds a way to turn it around and say that I would be better off without her, that I deserve better, and that she will leave so she isn't my problem anymore.  It is I, who is left fighting to keep my marriage together, even though she is the one going down this dark path.  Like I said, it is exhausting, and painful.

It is good to first pray to God for direction and next to ask for prayers. My prayers are with you

[other one]

3 hours ago, Michael Cisneros said:

You are right for keeping a healthy dose of skepticism when hearing only one person's point of view on an issue like this.  I wish more people would refrain from jumping to conclusions prematurely.  In this particular case, I am not asking anyone to do much more than pray for us.  I understand counsel will be limited based on the circumstances. I needed a place to speak what was on my mind, to voice my concerns, and to be acknowledged. When I bring up my concerns to my wife she shuts down and refuses to speak to me.  She finds a way to turn it around and say that I would be better off without her, that I deserve better, and that she will leave so she isn't my problem anymore.  It is I, who is left fighting to keep my marriage together, even though she is the one going down this dark path.  Like I said, it is exhausting, and painful.

if there is any way you can manage one of these weekends it would at least help.    I've seen people who were divorced and waiting for it to be legal call a judge and stop their divorce while we were at the meetings...

http://familylifeministries.org/weekend-to-remember/?msource=OWEBB17001&gclid=Cj0KCQiAyZLSBRDpARIsAH66VQKmnmnCMKQdHWfV2VXmaRP-mIMNnkQUlL78oNcZBSuNnx3bHbKoN9IaAgF8EALw_wcB

[KiwiChristian]

hope this helps

86. BIBLE KEYS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE.pdf

[JohnD]

All married couples consist of two fallen nature individuals trying to make one life together in an evil world.

What could go wrong?

Over the course of our 37 year marriage at times the commitment alone was all that held things together.

I rather think that is the point.

The marriage itself is the point. And commitment to it.

In 1983 I worked for Mayflower Van Lines while waiting for my job at the Post Office to come up. Divorcees were frequent customers. Everyone of them had that same look on their faces. Sadness of course. Anger. But the sense of not realizing how attached they were to their spouse especially now that it is too late to reconcile.

My 34 years in the Post Office has been pretty much the same observance. Death and divorce are frequent causes for changes of address and the people to a person all are surprised how much their departed loved one meant to them and how much they needed them. And now that it is here, the reality of what life from now on will be like without them. So sad. So very sad. 

There is an obnoxious saying among married men "It's cheaper to keep 'er." Meaning alimony etc. are their biggest concerns. But emotionally, spiritually, not to mention the children's lives being spared this ruin... "staying married is a better endeavor."

And when you both get over the hump of whatever it is you are talking about (and no one really need to know what it is other than you and your spouse), you will look back one day and say "I am glad we did not let that split us up!" Or... "it's too bad we couldn't get past that..." and all the sadness and sorrow of tearing asunder the spiritual bond that marriage actually is will never be fully recovered from. 

I pray in Jesus' name you both make the right decision.

People never really know what they are getting themselves into when they marry or divorce.

[Johny]

I will pray for you and your wife!!

[Estrella]

My heart bleeds for you, brother. Praying for you 

[SerenSunflower]

This is what I know about addictions. I was raised in a family of alcoholics. Seriously: mother, father, brother (after he was a teenager and from then on out), drinking every day. My favorite alcoholic beverage AT AGE FOUR was creme de menthe. Yeah. I suggest you educate yourself about them before you make any decisions. Your wife doesn't JUST need prayer (although she and you need that desperately). She is gonna need rehab if she is willing to give up her addiction, and you and your sons need support. 

Resources: Alcoholics Anonymous, Al Anon (for you), Christian rehab centers. That should give you a good start. YOU need help too, and Al Anon will help you see what your side of the problem is, and help you get what YOU need. This will help your wife also. Please PM me if you have further questions. Praying!

[Michael Cisneros]

RED ALERT

My wife was arrested this Saturday morning for dwi.  Of course nothing I have said or done since has been anything she wants to hear.  I was able to bail her out same day.  I am at a complete loss.  On the one hand, i know she needs help.  On the other hand, she wouldn't even listen to me when I explained how to fill out her part of the bond agreement.  She refused to fill out all of the references until the bondsman told her she had to. I feel so lost, and powerless.