Przemek Posted December 28, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 3 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/28/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted December 28, 2017 Hi Brothers and Sisters im 17 years old and it is my first post on this forum. I Have a great problem with myself and my relationship with God. Im going to start with my testimony. I was born again one month ago, it was wonderful feeling i never felt that way before. I was changed completely i no longer swear, smoke or drink etc. I was so spiritualy awake, my friends didnt recognise me. My Mother was so happy because she is also a believer and she had gone through it. Since this time im all about Jesus Christ. I wont go more into details because that is not the case. The case is that since this time i failed the lord everyday and im still failing him right now. I left all computer games wrong music etc. But i didnt share the gospel how i should. I feel so ashamed of the gospel when im about to share it. Ofcorse i told my closest friends about it, but it is not the main topic in our conversations. Every time i meet with them i feel so bad because im not talking about Jesus and when im about to talk about Him i feel this great fear and then when im back home im So ashamed i didnt share the gospel with them. I've felt into depression and im in it for 3 weeks (i was happy with Jesus for only one week :(). I really take the words of Jesus seriously that we have to deny ourselves, that many are called but few are chosen. I took it so seriously that i left my piano lessons because it interupted time i could spend with God. I thought to myself that surely it would make God happy. But still i feel like i have buried my talent (not musical but spiritual) and i know i did it :(((. I didnt share the gospel and now if i would share it, it would be only because of fear not of love. God's presence has left me. im So spiritualy dead now i have no Joy at all, im just afraid of God because im failing him every second. I dont love Him at all, but i know i should! it is main purpose in human life. I really cant find in myself any love for God and other people and that makes me so mad! I know that im wicked servant and if Jesus would come tommorrow he would cast me into outer darkness... At the beginning it was so wonderful i was being convinced by the Holy Spirit about things that i should do and shouldnt do. I was getting those small revelations when reading the Bible, and all of that has left me... Now it is only pain and fear. I dont know if it does any sense for you but if anyone could help me or give me advice then please... Maybe someone had similar experience. God bless 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Przemek Posted December 29, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 3 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/28/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 29, 2017 Im sorry for this post. I've just searched other topics and realised my problem is nothing compared to what other people deal with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GandalfTheWise Posted December 29, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 24 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,459 Content Per Day: 0.60 Reputation: 2,377 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/23/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted December 29, 2017 4 hours ago, Przemek said: Hi Brothers and Sisters im 17 years old and it is my first post on this forum. I Have a great problem with myself and my relationship with God. Im going to start with my testimony. I was born again one month ago, it was wonderful feeling i never felt that way before. I was changed completely i no longer swear, smoke or drink etc. I was so spiritualy awake, my friends didnt recognise me. My Mother was so happy because she is also a believer and she had gone through it. Since this time im all about Jesus Christ. I wont go more into details because that is not the case. The case is that since this time i failed the lord everyday and im still failing him right now. I left all computer games wrong music etc. But i didnt share the gospel how i should. I feel so ashamed of the gospel when im about to share it. Ofcorse i told my closest friends about it, but it is not the main topic in our conversations. Every time i meet with them i feel so bad because im not talking about Jesus and when im about to talk about Him i feel this great fear and then when im back home im So ashamed i didnt share the gospel with them. I've felt into depression and im in it for 3 weeks (i was happy with Jesus for only one week :(). I really take the words of Jesus seriously that we have to deny ourselves, that many are called but few are chosen. I took it so seriously that i left my piano lessons because it interupted time i could spend with God. I thought to myself that surely it would make God happy. But still i feel like i have buried my talent (not musical but spiritual) and i know i did it :(((. I didnt share the gospel and now if i would share it, it would be only because of fear not of love. God's presence has left me. im So spiritualy dead now i have no Joy at all, im just afraid of God because im failing him every second. I dont love Him at all, but i know i should! it is main purpose in human life. I really cant find in myself any love for God and other people and that makes me so mad! I know that im wicked servant and if Jesus would come tommorrow he would cast me into outer darkness... At the beginning it was so wonderful i was being convinced by the Holy Spirit about things that i should do and shouldnt do. I was getting those small revelations when reading the Bible, and all of that has left me... Now it is only pain and fear. I dont know if it does any sense for you but if anyone could help me or give me advice then please... Maybe someone had similar experience. God bless I'm in my mid 50s and have been a Christian for over 40 years. Being a Christian is a marathon, not a sprint. Hang in there, we all go through ups and downs in our spiritual walk. The important thing is that over the weeks, months, years, and decades that we are growing and maturing spiritually and knowing God more and more. Our trust and confidence in God (and our feelings toward God) are something that grow over time as we consistently walk with him over time. The most important thing that God is calling us toward is to grow spiritually and to grow closer to Him. This is a process like planting and growing a garden. It's something that takes time and consistent effort. It's a question of tending our lives and watching things grow over time. It is consistent spiritual exercises such as prayer, bible reading, and being with other Christians that helps us to grow. God has made each of us to be unique individuals. What works well for one person might not work well for another. You need to learn how things such as prayer and Bible study work best for you. For some people, having a quiet place to be alone for prayer works well. For others, taking a walk, or while commuting or some other such time works better. Some people like to have a longer dedicated time for prayer and study. Other people like to distribute their prayer through out the day during natural breaks in their day. This is something you need to learn for the long haul of your life. The key is sustainability where the way you pray, study, get together with other Christians, and so forth is something that strengthens and energizes you, and does not turn into a burden. Often, new Christians try to do things the way someone else does and get burned out and start to feel like they are failures at it. It is about learning how to walk with God as the unique person He made you to be. There is a big difference between conviction and guilt. Conviction is when God brings something to our attention to bring about positive changes. It is about God steering us to move forward. In contrast, guilt is dwelling on the past and on perceived failures. Guilt ultimately discourages us and paralyzes us. It causes us to focus on our failures rather than on what we need to do to grow. In contrast, conviction points a way forward that helps you grow. The OP sounds more like guilt than conviction. You didn't mention this (and I don't mean to imply it), but some Christians also struggle with various physical and mental disorders. Some Christians struggle with depression and other things. For them, they may feel like they have a lot more downs than ups in their spiritual walk. Also, some of us simply go through times of burnout and stress that can affect us. Sometimes our diet and health can affect our feelings. Bottom line, hang in there. Make sure you get tied in with a good church and/or small group and/or prayer group. We all need other believers around us. Ideally, you can find some mature believers to get to know. They can be an invaluable source of encouragement and experience. I think that the most important thing now is to settle into a consistent spiritual walk that will help you grow. Don't let your spiritual walk become a large to-do list that ends up making you feel guilty every time you fail on an item. God wants us to grow spiritually and walk with Him; He doesn't want us so busy doing Christian activities that we don't take time to grow or spend time with Him. Take time to celebrate the victories. Also, becoming a Christian does not necessarily mean giving up the gifts, dreams, and passions God has put within us. For example, if God has put within you a love of music, taking piano lessons could very well be something He wants you to do to become a musician. Sometimes, the things we were trying to pursue are dead ends that we were trying to fill our lives with; but sometimes they reflect who God created us to be. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omegaman 3.0 Posted December 29, 2017 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 57 Topic Count: 1,546 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 10,320 Content Per Day: 1.41 Reputation: 12,323 Days Won: 9 Joined: 04/15/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/05/1951 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Hi Przemek, Welcome to Worthy. I don't think you need to be so hard on yourself. You are already off to a great start, and knowing that you fail, is not a bad thing to realize, and it is something that we all do! Be grow in the Lord at different rates, and it is easy to be impatient with ourselves. Yep your nose in the Bible, keep your mind focused on good things (Philippians 4),seek God in prayer frequently, asking Him for His peace, and your own growth in faith and actions, and be thankful to him, for rescuing you and for His forgiveness. On that note, confess your sins when you fail, but then move on. There is no need for you to ask for forgiveness for a sin you have already confessed - when you did that God was faithful, and there is no need to ask Him again, that is doubt - not believing Him. Again, don't beat yourself up, like riding a horse, if you fall, you get back up and start again. The Christian life, has ups and downs, the important thing is that you do not give up, press on, persevere. You will fight this fight the rest of your life, but the reward is for those who finish the race. P.S. You are right to want to evangelize, and it is normal to be fearful, and lack confidence. That will change with time, you are brand new. Jesus told His disciples, to tell others, but He also told them to wait a while. The apostle Paul, the greatest (in terms of evangelism of all the apostles) spent three years in Arabia, before he really got his act together to preach to the world, and he became an evangelizing machine! I am not saying to put it of, but I am encouraging you, to be patient with yourself, as your faith and knowledge grows, so will your confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evgeniya Posted December 29, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 5 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 19 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 14 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/25/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/07/1987 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Maybe you should try Evangelization together with your church? Like in my church we just going out together, talking to people and inviting them...i dont think you are ready to do it alone, you cant start just like that... I used to try and people around were just giggling and calling me mental even. I realized that i gotta grow spiritually first with Bible and prayers and only then i can make people listen to my words and Spirit gonna start touching them deeply. If you feel any fear- i think it is a sign from God that you are not fully ready. Start together with people from your church Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted December 29, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,020 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,309 Content Per Day: 1.80 Reputation: 16,365 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted December 29, 2017 Hi, welcome! Yes, please don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time to grow spiritually by reading the Bible and praying. As you grow in your relationship with the Lord, the Holy Spirit will guide you into what to say or you will have opportunities that will open the way to speak of Christ. Always remember 1 John 1:9 -- If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Also, we need to do some daily activities or even some fun things in life....as long as you have your daily quiet time with the Lord, it's okay to have fun! Even when you are playing the piano or doing some fun activity, the Lord is with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted December 29, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 87 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,872 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,606 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted December 29, 2017 As others have said, you can't expect to turn into Billy Graham overnight. At this point, don't even feel like you need to be evangelizing. If a friend asks you a question, sure, be ready to give an answer. But right now you need to be drawing closer to God and learning His word. Pray daily and fervently for God to fill you with His love and wisdom. Ask Him to help you follow Him and to know His will for you. Just work on coming closer to God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnD Posted December 30, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 0 Topic Count: 905 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 9,646 Content Per Day: 2.02 Reputation: 5,832 Days Won: 9 Joined: 04/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted December 30, 2017 On 12/28/2017 at 7:28 PM, Przemek said: Im sorry for this post. I've just searched other topics and realized my problem is nothing compared to what other people deal with. Oh no, young brother, yours is quite important! Allow me to cut to the chase. Guilt is a many troublesome thing. One month ago you discovered and believed in the one way out of guilt (the cross of Christ). Hooray! Hallelujah! How wonderful for you and for us in the Body Christian!!! Question, now that you are saved... are you still human? Yes. Do humans have fallen natures? Yes. So... we all have to struggle with our fallen human natures as long as we are a human. Does God know everything? Yes. Then he knew all about the failures of us all. Including yours. Including mine. But that didn't stop him from blessing us when we had yet to fail him. Did it? No. Knowing full well what you and I and everyone of us will fail at our entire life is something God knew before the foundation of the world. We need to get off this pleasing God / displeasing God kick and on to doing his will and his work as best we can (struggling with sin along the way, confessing our sins TO GOD to get back in touch with the total forgiveness our salvation affords us by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross ONCE for ALL sin). Many's the time I begged God for forgiveness I already had... until I learned what God's grace truly means. I advise against throwing caution to the wind... But begging God or taking vows and oaths never to do a sin again... first of all do not impress God. And it comes across to God like begging to be alive or to live on planet Earth... we already have these things. If a certain sin plagues you then avoid the temptation when you can, learn to discipline yourself to beware of what leads to the temptation / sin, never trust the flesh and never believe you've finally defeated a sin / addiction forever. There will always be occasion for the flesh to try to take over (which leads to sin). And don't drop a building on yourself every time you fail. 1 John 1:5- 1 John 2:17 is a good place to camp in your Bible. Some call this passage the Christian shower with 1 John 1:9 the Christian bar of soap. 1 Corinthians 6:12 / 1 Corinthians 10:23 speak of how sin enslaves us or makes us beholden to others or enslaved to others... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLord92 Posted December 31, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 3 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 36 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 65 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/31/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted December 31, 2017 Reading your post is exactly what I went through for a very very and I mean year or so long time. I felt like this 24/7. I wrote about it online possibly like 50 times...(ok maybe not 50 but a LOT) and was in depression a LOT..crying and feeling lost. It was torture. I can’t offer advice as I have fallen and made my own post.... What you are going through can’t be what Christianity is about. I sought God and never got answers. I tried all I knew. It was painful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Bought 1953 Posted December 31, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 13 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 6,726 Content Per Day: 2.88 Reputation: 6,258 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/03/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted December 31, 2017 pry.....you ask if somebody else has shared in you experiences.Have you ever heard of Martin Luther? The leader of The Protestant Reformation? He was so eaten up with trying to be “worthy” of his Salvation —- you know , “do do this ..Don't do that “ and then God will love you. He thought he had to go to confession every time he passed gas! He finally realized what God really wanted.... “ the Righteous shall LIVE by FAITH”! God is not interested in our puny attempts at perfection. Christ is our perfection . Put your faith in His Blood, that He shed for us. I don't know what your church claims is the Gospel.....but the Gospel thAt Paul preached is found In 1cor15..... believe it and be saved! You have been making the sad mistake that millions before you have made ,which is turning Christianity into a religion. Religion says “do”. ...Christianity says “done” You finish the Christian walk the same way you started it—-faith. If you have believed the Gospel thAt is your part....have the f@ith to believe that God— not you— will finish what He started.God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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