Is Wonderful Marriage Actually Possible?

[Willa]

8 hours ago, Neighbor said:

..."I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.

1Co 7:25  Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 1Co 7:26  I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.

1Co 7:27  Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

1Co 7:28  But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 1Co 7:29  This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none,1Co 7:30  and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 1Co 7:31  and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

1Co 7:32  I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 1Co 7:33  But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 1Co 7:34  and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

1Co 7:35  I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

This is the context of your reply.  Paul was in speaking in light of the persecution the church was enduring, which was getting much worse.  He was enduring beatings and being left for dead, and he would have been distracted by having a wife with him in his travels.  So his opinion was that people should not marry under those circumstances.  However, it is always best that a person be saved and God be first in their lives, whether married or unmarried.  And a marriage will always be better when we can love as God loves and forgive as God forgives.  So I find your reply to be a little bewildering; we usually agree about the things of God.  

I too had a long marriage of 54 years.  What I shared was what made our marriage work and what fulfilled our lives.  I can't imagine a person making it through life without it revolving around God, let alone without having the wisdom and support that comes from God and from His word.  Since my husband was not saved when we were first married and I was not a strong Christian when I was 18, I have had a taste of marriage without God as well as how totally changed we were when our lives were fully surrendered to and revolved around God.  Perhaps marriages and people appear to have good lives and marriages without God.   I totally disagree that we do not need Him in our lives.

[Neighbor]

4 hours ago, Willa said:

 I totally disagree that we do not need Him in our lives.

Hi, There is no dispute least not between us on that point.

None the less there are moral individuals that have placed their faith elsewhere, including themselves alone.

They  are depraved as are all, but depravity does not necessarily mean mindlessness inablility to live very morally based lives where married couples are devoted to each other.

There are probably fewer legalisms adversely affecting  a so called "secular" marriage than there is a  Christian based union. Might be why, at least  in part, that the divorce rate among  Christian couples is slightly higher than that  of other couples.

Christians can with their demands make living among them pure hell, Christians being married, well that can indeed be a deeply felt everlasting trauma in the flesh. Being Christian does not equate to marriage being, as the thread starter called it, a fairytale existence. Live is hard living it is for the strong, marriage has it's hard moments for sure as it challenges  one toward growth larger than self. 

One can become embittered by marriage, one can become blessed. It does require work for it is more than just satisfying a "burning",  and meeting social expectations. It is the giving up of self, and becoming more than one was alone. It takes more giving by each person than is received back individually for self. It is not a partnership, though many try to make it one.

Marriage is the building of a new creature. It cannot be split apart without all it's parts being injured and changed by the ripping. The love that makes  for a successful marriage is the love given  in an eleemosynary manner, given without seeking, without wanting, and certainly without requiring acknowledgement. For if constant approval and praise for the love given is required, the marriage will suffer great loss and even to breaking apart, because then there is really no giving  only barter, exchange, bargaining, which leads to haggling, dispute, and hurt, with  the cry of "unfair" being uttered and shouted.

Love that makes for great marriage is unilateral, not reciprocal.  It's success comes from giving and not from being rewarded by getting nor demanding equal response in order to continue on.

God loves a cheerful giver, and so does marriage.

------------

The thread title asks a question. The answer is yes absolutely. It can be is wonderful.

(But one can never say, I gave at the office. So I am not contributing  from home this time around.)

 

 

Edited September 28, 2018 by Neighbor
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[Zoltan777]

On 9/27/2018 at 5:52 AM, Archangel Thyos said:

Face it. If you're married, your marriage probably sucks. At least that's been my experience. I've yet to see a marriage that is... how do I say... fairytale romantic.

I spent 30 years of my life chasing after women. I was chasing this, feeling. That feeling led me around like a carrot on a stick. Now I'm single and retired at the age of 30. And to be honest, I have no intention of getting married at this point. That feeling turned out to be God's presence.

So, I'm left sitting here in god's presence feeling okay, and looking back at marriage, all I hear is Divorce this or alimony that.

Is true love actually possible between a man and woman or is everyone just pretending to have true love?

35, single...still searching but I  believe in true love. I do believe it exists.

[Neighbor]

On 9/28/2018 at 11:32 AM, Zoltan777 said:

35, single...still searching but I  believe in true love. I do believe it exists.

Did at 19 for 50 years. Does it again at 74 anyway. So perhaps, perhaps it does , seems like it from here. But it is no fairy tale, it is one  way determination where love is given out without holding back, powerfully running like a hovercraft running above choppy waters of this world.

Love's marriage is a work skill. It is work, can be most satisfying work,  but work it is.  Can make for a most satisfying career.

Edited September 30, 2018 by Neighbor
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[The_Patriot21]

Been married for 10 1/2 years...happiest 10 1/2 years of my life.

[Sower]

Forty seven years of work. Hard work. We're still together because we have so many faults in common.  I, as the husband, married over my head. Most all guys do, though won't admit it. Results; three children-twelve grand kids. Believers all. By the grace of God! (meaning: I didn't deserve His favor)
"Marriage is not about 'finding' the right mate. It's about 'being' the right mate"  Took me many years (and counseling) to figure that one out.
A long marriage is sorta like having a fifty year old classic car, still on the road, still being used. (Personally, the new snazzy imports have no appeal to me)  Sure, a lot of repairs, a lot of maintenance, plenty of mechanic hours keeping it on the road, busted fenders and several paint jobs.  And no, it may not purr like a kitten any more, with all the wear and tear, but it is still faithful, and it still starts when needed, and takes us however far we need to go. And always brings us back to our home........
God is Light!  (And the Master Mechanic)



 

[LearningToLetGo]

19 minutes ago, Gary Lee said:

"Marriage is not about 'finding' the right mate. It's about 'being' the right mate"  Took me many years (and counseling) to figure that one out.

Amen, brother! Amen.