Should I go back to my ex abuser?

[Ruth Also]

Human advice:  Someone in our family noted that there are people called narcissists and thought she found help reading about them to break the tendency to return to the cycles of relationship that simply don't work.  Maybe this applies here as well.  But whether or not, I agree with the good advice you've been given.  

Scriptural advice:  already cited by another caring person.  No need to return to an abusive relationship - God has called us to peace.  

My thoughts:  I would encourage that you continue to pray only and not interact since interacting has not been beneficial in the past.  

And please keep us posted.  This area is fraught with dangers and several of us have voiced our concerns for you.  I feel sure folks are praying as well as writing!

[ReneeIW]

On 10/25/2019 at 7:04 AM, BeauJangles said:

On 10/25/2019 at 5:11 AM, Debp said:

Perhaps someone else commented on your above remark?  The verse actually means do not take vengeance on someone.   It doesn't mean you have to be a doormat.

Briefly, but not quite as well as your explanation.  

Some would disagree with her explanation. Not sure how it’s helpful to compare who did something better than the other. We are all just trying to help. 

[BeauJangles]

3 hours ago, ReneeIW said:

Some would disagree with her explanation. Not sure how it’s helpful to compare who did something better than the other. We are all just trying to help. 

Seems like I'm getting misunderstood on my quotes. This would make the second one today - which would be an all time record. I was just saying @Debp's explanation was better than mine. Nothing else was indicated. Of course we're all trying to help. Hope my posts didn't indicate otherwise. Sorry for the confusion if there is any.  

[Amanda Frances]

On 10/21/2019 at 9:33 AM, TheAimes said:

Dear Sister, 

God would not want you to walk back into a situation that has you being abused/placed in danger. We are to forgive those who harm us but we are not to be naive. The only way you should ever consider returning to that relationship would be if your ex meets Jesus, makes a tremendous change in his behavior, offers a sincere apology that is evidenced in his actions and not just word, and continues down a right path for a considerable length of time. Until that time, you should wash your hands of the situation.

Move on with your life, pursuing Christ and trust that He will lead you to someone who will value you for the daughter of God you are; you're His beloved, always remember that. You should not be treated any less. 

I agree.   You should not go back to him unless he has changed.  (Even then you should see real evidence of change for 6 months or so .. before you would even think about getting  back into a deeper relationship.  I read that somewhere.  You already know what you are getting when you go back without his changing.  Why do that?  

Sometimes one can  care too much about others and not enough about oneself.   Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  If you enable it's not a help it's really a hurt.  He needs to get well.   Change brings change.  Pray to God for wisdom and help.  

 

[Prycejosh1987]

On 10/21/2019 at 8:59 AM, ohso said:

I talk to God, but I'm confused should I listen to my mind (reason), or my heart? My soul is telling me to help him. But it might end up dangerously. He owns weapons. Is that God's voice, because I should think about others first and not myself, right? God tells us to sacrifice for others, right? I have no peace like this. I'm sorry if I upset anyone. Any words of advice would be helpful. 

Do what you think is good for you. Examine the situation closely and make a choice based on what you think. Only you completely know about what to do and what it was like with him. Noone knows as much as you do on the subject. Good luck.