Just Asking About Feeling Left Out

[LadyKay]

Just asking here. If your pastor and his wife hosted a New Years Eve gathering/get together at his house and then posted the photos to his facebook page of all the fun they had and you were not invited. Would you feel left out? Some people said somethings and the reply that was given was that they weren't leaving anyone out and told us to come next year. But it seems only the people who where there know about it. So.....it dose seem like some people were being left out. Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included. Well...thoughts?? 

[Firm Foundation]

You kind of answered your own question.  He couldn't invite everyone to his house so he probably invited his closest friends.  How  close of friends are you to him?

[LadyKay]

49 minutes ago, Firm Foundation said:

You kind of answered your own question.  He couldn't invite everyone to his house so he probably invited his closest friends.  How  close of friends are you to him?

Well maybe. But I wish he had not posted the photos to the church FB page. They look like they were having so much fun and all I did was stay home. Well nothing new I guess. I have never been part of the"In Crowed".  

I'm in a bit of a mood tonight. So maybe I am feeling more emotional about stuff then I normally do? 

[Coliseum]

1 hour ago, LadyKay said:

Just asking here. If your pastor and his wife hosted a New Years Eve gathering/get together at his house and then posted the photos to his facebook page of all the fun they had and you were not invited. Would you feel left out? Some people said somethings and the reply that was given was that they weren't leaving anyone out and told us to come next year. But it seems only the people who where there know about it. So.....it dose seem like some people were being left out. Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included. Well...thoughts?? 

How about a pastor telling someone he's known for 19 years he can only be a "pastoral" friend." Even Jesus said He was not only a friend, but a brother as well. Talk about feeling down. But he went on to explain that everyone can only keep a small circle of best friends. Well, I thought for a moment whose best friend would I rather have in my small circle. Yep. God! Don't let your identity in anyone be other than Jesus; he will never disappoint you.

[Firm Foundation]

That was kind of cold.  I don't understand why he would only be able to have a small circle of best friends.

[Coliseum]

4 minutes ago, Firm Foundation said:

That was kind of cold.  I don't understand why he would only be able to have a small circle of best friends.

Just shear number I suppose. Perhaps chemistry. Perhaps dislike. It is not important in the ultimate scheme of things. Remember what Paul said:

1 Corinthians 4:3-4 (NIV)
³  I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.
⁴  My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.

What else really matters where it comes to someone approving me or not?

[Blood Bought 1953]

6 minutes ago, Isaiah53NIV said:

Amen  

The pastor at my previous church once reminded his congregation that at some point, he would let us down, because that is what humans do. He then went on to remind us to put our faith and hope only in Jesus, as He will never let us down.

 

That was one wise Pastor you had there!

[Willa]

A lot depends on how big the church is.  If you have 500 who regularly attend and they can only comfortably get 15 people in their house, It is a matter of space.  How about the number of hours in a day and the time we can spend with even a half dozen people plus your family since they should be your priority.  Add to that the hours a week they spend doing their jobs, visiting the sick, preparing sermons, counseling etc.   Even Jesus, God in Human flesh, only spent time with 12, and of them-- Peter James and John were the only ones who were with Him on the Mt of Transfiguration.  Then there were their family members to consider.  

I have seen people who feel left out when they were some of the first members and had still never been asked to the pastors home.  They were hurt.  Nearly 20 years later and we were never asked either.  I don't feel offended at all, or even left out.  I respect Pastor and all he does, and as long as we all keep on doing the things God has put on each of our plates, the body should function effectively.  Our lives should revolve around God and not around our pastors.  We should be God pleasers and not people pleasers.  

[LadyKay]

31 minutes ago, Willa said:

A lot depends on how big the church is.  If you have 500 who regularly attend and they can only comfortably get 15 people in their house, It is a matter of space.  How about the number of hours in a day and the time we can spend with even a half dozen people plus your family since they should be your priority.  Add to that the hours a week they spend doing their jobs, visiting the sick, preparing sermons, counseling etc.   Even Jesus, God in Human flesh, only spent time with 12, and of them-- Peter James and John were the only ones who were with Him on the Mt of Transfiguration.  Then there were their family members to consider.  

I have seen people who feel left out when they were some of the first members and had still never been asked to the pastors home.  They were hurt.  Nearly 20 years later and we were never asked either.  I don't feel offended at all, or even left out.  I respect Pastor and all he does, and as long as we all keep on doing the things God has put on each of our plates, the body should function effectively.  Our lives should revolve around God and not around our pastors.  We should be God pleasers and not people pleasers.  

I'm not really mad at anyone about it. I do wish I could have join in with them though. They all seemed so happy. And I didn't say anything about it on FB. But some other people did about not knowing it was going on and not being invited. I would never knowingly  do or say anything to make people feel bad. I just wish I could have join in with the fun they were having. But then I am an introvert, and would most likely spent the evening talking to their dog. ?

[Sower]

1 hour ago, LadyKay said:

Just asking here. If your pastor and his wife hosted a New Years Eve gathering/get together at his house and then posted the photos to his facebook page of all the fun they had and you were not invited. Would you feel left out? Some people said somethings and the reply that was given was that they weren't leaving anyone out and told us to come next year. But it seems only the people who where there know about it. So.....it dose seem like some people were being left out. Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included. Well...thoughts?? 

"Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included."

Reckon I would think "what a bummer"
But reconsidering, I remember that the pastor is just a person like us, called to preach the good news.
His loyalties begin with the Lord, then his wife and family, and his responsibilities as the pastor
of a lot of people with varying needs and normal problems, and a lot of hours .
But he needs to have his own group of close personal friends "just like us", that he can talk to, be himself and share stuff he couldn't to the body.
I was pretty close once to my pastor years back and like any of us he would need
to 'dump' problems and frustrations with somebody to just listen, and not judge him for his 'frailties'.
I see no reason to feel 'left out' of the event like you describe. His family probably has very little private life with close friends.
They pretty much live in a glass house. You can hear all about them, and their faults and problems,  right here on this forum.
The loyal pastors out there need prayers and support, encouragement. They carry a heavy load.
By praying for him and his family, you are participation in his ministry, and not being left out!