wombat Posted July 26, 2020 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/02/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted July 26, 2020 My MIL is fading and I expect to be invited to her small funeral this year. The wife left me last year for another Christian(?) guy whom I met at a Bible camp 20 years ago prior to meeting my wife. Scriptures have not helped my wife to stay in the marriage nor to avoid seeking love elsewhere. I doubt Scriptures will work on her new prospective adulterous boyfriend. We have children so I will remain calm and nonviolent when I see the philander again for the first time in 20 plus years at the funeral, ?, or his house in the future if they get married. What advice do you have for me to help me when I see him? Ask him if he is familiar with verses on Adultery or divorce? Vengeance is mine saith God so that is not an option although the carnal thought has crossed my mind. The ex would like all of us to be friends. No, a double betrayal does not mean you are my friend any longer. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley L Posted July 26, 2020 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 304 Content Per Day: 0.19 Reputation: 186 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/05/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) On 7/26/2020 at 9:06 PM, wombat said: My MIL is fading and I expect to be invited to her small funeral this year. The wife left me last year for another Christian(?) guy whom I met at a Bible camp 20 years ago prior to meeting my wife. Scriptures have not helped my wife to stay in the marriage nor to avoid seeking love elsewhere. I doubt Scriptures will work on her new prospective adulterous boyfriend. We have children so I will remain calm and nonviolent when I see the philander again for the first time in 20 plus years at the funeral, ?, or his house in the future if they get married. What advice do you have for me to help me when I see him? Ask him if he is familiar with verses on Adultery or divorce? Vengeance is mine saith God so that is not an option although the carnal thought has crossed my mind. The ex would like all of us to be friends. No, a double betrayal does not mean you are my friend any longer. My advice would be, if you truly want to follow Christ, forgive them both. Christ forgave us while we didn't deserve forgiveness. Christ died for us, while we totally didn't deserve His mercy. We love because Christ loved us first. We forgive because Christ forgave us first. Matthew 6:14 14 For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. And if being near them will cause you to sin, follow Christ's advice. Don't go near them. Matthew 5:29 29 If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Psalm 147:3 3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. P.S. Reading back my reply, it might came off as careless. Trust in Christ, that your wounds will be healed. Healing and justice doesn't come from the ones who hurt you. But healing and justice come from Jesus Christ, stay in Him brother! Wish you well. Edited July 27, 2020 by Wesley L P.S. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted July 27, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,300 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 1,685 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted July 27, 2020 11 hours ago, wombat said: The ex would like all of us to be friends How old are your children and are they seeing, staying with there mother? Your concern should be for your children. If they see her and go to stay with her then you have to be friendly. If they are old enough not to need her and can decide for themselves whether to see/stay with her then minimal politeness is required. I would not attend there wedding. I would attend your mother in law's funeral, but not go to there house. Forgiveness, have they apologized, repented of there sins, that is not living together. If they have not you have no need to forgive them. See Luke 17:3. What you do is tell the Lord all about it, your hurt, betrayal, harm to your children etc etc etc and commit it all to God for him to deal with. Then you pray for there well being, you pray the best you can for there health, happiness and spiritual maturity etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted July 27, 2020 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,020 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,311 Content Per Day: 1.80 Reputation: 16,367 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted July 27, 2020 15 hours ago, wombat said: My MIL is fading and I expect to be invited to her small funeral this year. The wife left me last year for another Christian(?) guy whom I met at a Bible camp 20 years ago prior to meeting my wife. Scriptures have not helped my wife to stay in the marriage nor to avoid seeking love elsewhere. I doubt Scriptures will work on her new prospective adulterous boyfriend. We have children so I will remain calm and nonviolent when I see the philander again for the first time in 20 plus years at the funeral, ?, or his house in the future if they get married. What advice do you have for me to help me when I see him? Ask him if he is familiar with verses on Adultery or divorce? Vengeance is mine saith God so that is not an option although the carnal thought has crossed my mind. The ex would like all of us to be friends. No, a double betrayal does not mean you are my friend any longer. Sorry for what has happened to you. If you attend the funeral, just give your condolences and keep your self respect by not addressing their unChristian behavior at the funeral. Just remember that the Lord sees all, and they will eventually reap what they have sown. If you have young children, and need to see your ex and the guy for dropping off the children.... you can do that pleasantly for the children's sake. However, you don't need to have a friendship with your ex and the guy. Forgive, move on and try to make a new life of happiness for yourself. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appy Posted July 27, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 23 Topic Count: 133 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 2,864 Content Per Day: 0.62 Reputation: 2,596 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted July 27, 2020 Sorry to hear this has happened. People in general speaking do not have control over what others do, only themselves. A break up of any marriage is hard on all involved. And it hurts deeply, because it is a loss. For you and your children, this is a big loss. For a lot of people forgiving someone who has wronged them is a difficult thing because they don't want to see the guilty party get off the hook. Scripture teaches us to let the offender off of our hook. Does not mean they are off of God's hook, but that we don't have a bitter and revengeful heart because being bitter, angry and revengeful will rob you of any and all joy. It will also rob you of the joy in the Lord. I understand that you hurt a lot, and this has been very painful. Give the situation to the Lord and let Him deal with it. I agree with Debp to attend the funeral, but do NOT bad mouth their behavior to others. Not even to your children. Even though you are in the right. Be civil at all times to the best of your ability. Bad-mouthing about them to your friends, family or church members makes you look bad. It also fuels gossip which can hurt you and your children in an unpleasant way in the long run. Children love both parents unconditionally and having a parent that is continually bad-mouthing the other puts the children in an awful position of feeling like they have to choose sides. And if they feel that they are being influenced to love one parent more than another, or choose one parent over another to spend time with or live with, they are going to experience a tremendous amount of guilt and shame. Pitting them against the ex to sabotage the relationship between your children and the ex will cut their hearts in half. It will hurt them and you, a whole lot more than it ever will your ex. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billiards Ball Posted July 28, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,502 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 662 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/05/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted July 28, 2020 On 7/26/2020 at 3:06 PM, wombat said: My MIL is fading and I expect to be invited to her small funeral this year. The wife left me last year for another Christian(?) guy whom I met at a Bible camp 20 years ago prior to meeting my wife. Scriptures have not helped my wife to stay in the marriage nor to avoid seeking love elsewhere. I doubt Scriptures will work on her new prospective adulterous boyfriend. We have children so I will remain calm and nonviolent when I see the philander again for the first time in 20 plus years at the funeral, ?, or his house in the future if they get married. What advice do you have for me to help me when I see him? Ask him if he is familiar with verses on Adultery or divorce? Vengeance is mine saith God so that is not an option although the carnal thought has crossed my mind. The ex would like all of us to be friends. No, a double betrayal does not mean you are my friend any longer. Witness the gospel to all these people (treat them the way you'd like to be treated). No, you don't have to spend time together or be friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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