Jump to content


Junior Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

42 Excellent


About Nyoka

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 01/25/1963

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • ICQ

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    New Zealand
  • Interests
    Beading, cooking, animals

Recent Profile Visitors

4,878 profile views
  1. Nyoka

    Remarriage after divorce

    I know that if I am wrong on the following then there are plenty of mature knowledgable christians on here to correct me and I always welcome correction when I am shown to be wrong. I know we are all human and can make mistakes at times. I am not talking about those who make a mistake that they truely repent of and would never do again. I know there have been times when I have got angry over something my husband has said or done and then later realised I was wrong. I have always looked to the bible to guide me on how we are to treat our family members and what is godly behaviour toward them. One verse that has always struck me as powerful over this is: 1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. I am no Greek scholar but Strongs definition of the term 'provide not for' is: προνοέω pronoeō pron-o-eh'-o From G4253 and G3539; to consider in advance, that is, look out for beforehand (active voice by way of maintenance for others; middle voice by way of circumspection for oneself): - provide (for). This suggests to me that we should always have the welfare and wellbeing of our family first and formost in our thinking and actions toward them. I do understand we all make mistakes and are not perfect yet so I am not talking about someone who has made a dreadful mistake and is turely repentant and would never do it again but two questions do occur to me over this verse: 1) Is someone who is committing adultery truely looking out for family first? 2) Is somone who is abusing their family truely looking out for their family first? To be honest I don't see how they could be. If that is the case then this verse does tell us that they have denied the faith and anyone that denies the faith is an unbeliever no matter what they call themselves. Their fruits have given them away as to what they truely are in their hearts. Jesus does back us up in this when he tells us the two great commandments: Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. Mat 22:38 This is the first and great commandment. Mat 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Is abuse showing love for your family? No it is not. Is adultery showing love for your spouse/family? No it is not. Abuse and adultery do not show the fruit of the Spirit either: Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law; Eph 5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth). What is good and righteous about abuse and adultery? Nothing. So if I am right then an abuser or an adulterer is denying the faith and no more than an unbeliever trying to pretend to be a believer so in that case this verse would apply: 1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. I do believe that Jesus gives us the verses about divorce as He knows that the reasons for divorce can, often, can lead us away from Him and all Gods promises. These are just my own opinions fwiw.
  2. This post cannot be displayed because it is in a password protected forum. Enter Password
  3. Nyoka


    I know excatly where you're at as I have been there done that and got the t-shirt lol. When I came to God I was so full of pride. God had to do a lot of work in me to get me where I am now - I come from a very proud, manipulative, vengeful family of athiests. I hope all pride is gone from me but I am not silly as I know somewhere I probably have some left but am now content to wait till God shows me where it is and what to do about it. When God first started to show me how to deal with pride He first showed me this scripture so I would learn what humility was: 1Pe 5:5 Likewise, younger ones, be subject to older ones, and all being subject to one another. Put on humility. For God resists proud ones, but He gives grace to the humble. 1Pe 5:6 Therefore be humbled under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time. According to Strongs the word for humility here means: G5424 φρήν phrēn frane Probably from an obsolete φρáω phraō (to rein in or curb; compare G5420); the midrif (as a partition of the body), that is, (figuratively and by implication of sympathy) the feelings (or sensitive nature; by extension [also in the plural] the mind or cognitive faculties): - understanding. According to this it is our mind and feelings we need to bring under control of God. This also lines up with another verse God showed me at the time: 2Co 10:3 For though walking about in flesh, we do not war according to flesh. 2Co 10:4 For the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, 2Co 10:5 pulling down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought into the obedience of Christ. This showed me that anything we do or say starts first with a thought. Pride also starts first with a thought so our mind will and emotions is where we must fight this battle. I also needed to know why I needed to do this as, to me at that time, I could see no wrong in the prideful way I thought. I was shown the 'why' is because we have an enemy who wants to condemn us in what ever way he can: 1Pe 5:8 Be sensible and vigilant, because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking someone he may devour. As a new believer I was unsure how to do this so I did the only thing I knew to do. I spent three months with God. How I did this was I spent the time dedicated to God. Apart from what I needed to do for daily living I spent every spare moment reading and studying the bible, talking with other believers (forums help here lol), leaning all I could of God and who He says I am and what He says I am to do and/or believe. I soon found that it is very true that what you give importance to is what you will follow. If anyone told me I needed to to believe this or do that to follow God I would ask them to show me from the bible, or try to find it myself, and if they couldn't, or I couldn't find it, I left it for now but asked God to bring it back to me later if it was something I needed to learn. I found out that sometimes I didn't find it or see it in the bible because I didn't know enough to find it and needed to learn more. You have made a good start by asking and now you need to study, learn, ask questions when stuck and then, most important, apply what you learn, trusting God to do what you can't yet, no matter if you seem to be failing a lot or not. Remember it takes time to learn a new way and leave old ways and habits behind so don't be hard on yourself if you mess it up some. Instead pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again taking only the lesson learnt with you. Hope this helps.
  4. Thank you for your kind words. We definitely do grow in faith an knowledge as God teaches us through others and through His word. Carlos does not like what I say as it proves he is wrong so to discredit me and show he is right he has to say I was not a believer then. It is just the way of those who believe they have it right and they will not listen to correction. They refuse to see that none of us has it 100% right and we need each other so we can all help each other learn and grow.
  5. If you never gave up your rebellion and yielded to God as God from the heart then by your own words Nyoka you never became a Christian at least until such a time as you later yielded to God as God. Sorry but biblically that is the truth whatever you think you experienced of God teaching you notwithstanding. Carlos Carlos people like you are the reason I stay out of debates. You accuse me of not being a believer when Gods word tells me I was but you refuse to see that as my experience proves you wrong. You self righteously judge me when God Himself accepted me as His child during those years of rebellion. Well I am in good company as David, Peter and many other saints had periods of rebellion but God still accepted them. I will be praying for all those you try to lead to God as they will need it.
  6. Please don't patronise me Carlos. I didn't yield to God and you are totally ignoring that. I didn't have a moment that I said "okay God I know now that is rebellion I will give it up right this minute as right this minute I finally understood it". I said I never gave it up until five years later. For, at least, the last two years years, before I gave it up, I knew I was in rebellion and stubbornly would not give it up. God was even more stubborn and kept teaching me until I chose to give it up. God never said I can't come to Him until I give up the rebellion but He DID accept me and teach me until I chose willingly to give it up. So according to you I could not have been saved for those two years that I knowingly rebelled against God because I refused to give it up. Study what God calls rebellion Carlos. Biblical rebellion is anything you do that is not of God, for God or glorifying God. We all do that - including you. You have got the cart before the horse and will keep many from God. I pray God will open your eyes to the truth. I am sorry if this post offended anyone but I won't stand by and be silent when someone is teaching an error that will keep anyone from Jesus.
  7. I have been reading this thread and I wasn't going to post anything as I am not a debater so have trouble putting my thoughts down in type. I do have to answer now though. Carlos if we have to be saved how you say we do then I, for one, would never have been saved. I come from a family that are all very strict atheists. If anyone brought anything to do with christianity into the house it was got rid of as soon as possible - without the owner knowing what had happened. I was taught the bible was a book constructed about 400-500 years ago by a bunch of men that wanted to gain power. I was taught that christianity was for the weak and retarded. I was taught that they only want your money and that is all it was about. Because I had been indoctrinated into an atheist belief I never bothered checking it out as I believed from when I was little that what I was taught was true. I was taught a lot of other things that were untrue about christianity to but believed them as I was deceived and blinded. When you're like that you really can't see the truth very easily and you are also in strong denial about the truth. The ONLY reason I became a believer is because someone told me, when I was 15, about hell and I didn't want to go there so I told God "if you are real I accept you so I don't go to hell". I did it for "fire insurance" - nothing more. I didn't know anything about how to follow God. Heck I didn't even know I was in rebellion so that I could give up my rebellion. According to what you have posted we have to give up rebellion first before coming to God so me not knowing I was in it counted me out for salvation there and then. How can you give up something you never knew you had? The simple answer is that you can't. I never even read my bible until at least five years later as I didn't know we needed to. I didn't trust any believer or church due to what I had been taught growing up so they couldn't help me either. But, miracle of miracles, God accepted my confession of faith - weak as it was. God began a time of teaching me and growing me till I came to know that I was in rebellion and could give up the rebellion I had learned about. This teaching took 5 years so for 5 years I was still in rebellion but God accepted me anyway and taught me and grew me anyway. God accepted me EVEN with the rebellion still in me so I know He will accept others the same way. Sorry for rambling on a bit but this proved to me that God accepts us as we are then proceeds to grow and mature us just as the bible says.
  8. Yes I would. He has already given me everything when He died for me and rose again so He deserves my all.
  9. Nyoka

    6 year old handcuffed. . .

    My son has been handcuffed and taken to jail when he was five. He was beating his sisters up with anything he could find and doing all he could to punish me and them when we would not give in and let him have his own way. The last straw came when he and his mates burnt a shed down. I went to the police and asked them if they could help me put a stop to this. They asked me how far they could go with him and I said cuff him and throw him in jail for a few hours to show him that his behaviour was not acceptable. They did just that and my son was a changed boy after that. He is in his twenties now and still says that what I did turned him round and got him on the right path as it really scared him like nothing else did. And before anyone says anything about how I parented him I did use all the usual punishments for him to stop the behaviour, from time out to taking things away from him, and they didn't work as he didn't believe he had to listen to me over anything. I was also relying very much on God during this time and only went to the police after much prayer and thought. It is not always the parents fault when a child chooses to do wrong. I am not saying it is or isn't the parents fault in the case of this child just that we are sometimes to quick to blame the parents when they have tried everything to stop the child and nothing worked.
  10. Nyoka

    Am I Being Old Fashioned.....or Godly

    Ty. My husband I learnt this after many problems in our marriage and now we live this out everyday and our marriage is so much better and stronger. Yes we do still have the odd problem but my husband is truly head of myself and our children but I am very much his helper and the other half of himself and together we let God rule over us and guide us in our marriage. This has made our marriage a marriage beyond compare.
  11. Nyoka

    Am I Being Old Fashioned.....or Godly

    The bible tells wives to submit to their husbands: Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. This does not mean that the husband gets to lord it over the wife in a dominating manner. What it means is that just as Jesus submited to His Father in love and trust in His Father so wives should submit to their husband in the same manner. The wife must love her husband and be willing to sacrifice all for him. Now if the husband is not being the Godly head of the house then the wife has every right to stand up and say that what he is doing is wrong. And also to correct Him in love and gentleness - just as the husband can with the wife. Now the piece that often gets forgotten here is that God has given instructions to the husband to: Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. Now this tells the husbands that they have to love their wives just as Jesus loved the church. How did Jesus love the church? He came as a servant to show the church the truth and then to die for the church and He did it out of love for the church. This then is how a husband loves their wife. The husband must love his wife and be willing to sacrifice all for her. What these verses show us is that the relationship is about the husband putting the wife first and thinking of her well being and happiness first before his own and the wife putting the husband first and thinking of his well being and happiness first and putting it before her own. And to complete the marriage God should be the head over both. In a Godly marriage there is no one person trying to be the dominant lord over the other but all are in submission as God wants to Him and each other. That's my thoughts on it anyway fwiw.
  12. Nyoka

    Bipolar disorder

    Hun please seek help. God will not be mad at you. In fact God tells us over and over he has plans for us and they are good: 3Jn 1:2 Beloved, in regard to all things I pray that you prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers. God's plans for us are not to stay in confusion, as you are right now, as confusion is not from God: 1Co 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. My ex husband is Bi Polar and God never once stopped him from seeking help from therapists and nor did God stop him from using medication to help control the disorder. Please hun God loves you and wants you as well as you can be so seek help. Remember God gave these people the knowledge to help you and I know christians he has led to become therapists so if God was angry at therapists He would not have had these christians become therapists. If you want a christian therapist then ask your doctor to find one but please find a therapist to help you soon wether it is christian or non christian - for your sake and your husbands.
  13. Nyoka

    Bipolar Questions

    good idea nebual. My husband and I are not Bipolar but we do suffer from depression and when it gets bad we also look for ways to channel that to get it out safely. One way we use is worshipping God. My husband finds physical work helps him so he will go and do the gardening or chop wood. I find that making beaded jewellery or playing computer role playing games helps me so I use them, when it gets bad, to help me. Another thing I use is to do bible studies on different words or topics. I find that if it is something you need to concentrate on then it takes your focus off the problem and lets you have a break from it. Hope this helps. Praying
  14. Nyoka

    I had a horrible Dream... H.elp

    I see this dream a bit differently than the other posters. You say in that in the dream you had your mum pray for you and she prayed the most beautiful prayer you have heard. I don't believe that would have happened if this dream was demonic. Also you talk of the demons but you failed to notice that each time they tried to get near you they were stopped and couldn't touch you. This also would not happen in a demonic dream. Personally I believe that this dream may have been a warning from God to show you exactly what you would get into if you dabbled in lucid dreaming. You may not have realised the spirit behind lucid dreaming so God has shown you to protect you.
  15. Nyoka

    Christain Women be silent in Church

    Like others I to have a problem with the OP's post. Three times, at least, the same word is used in that chapter: 1Co 14:28 But if there be no interpreter, let him keep silence in the church; and let him speak to himself, and to God. 1Co 14:30 If any thing be revealed to another that sitteth by, let the first hold his peace. 1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. According to Strong's the word the underlined bits are interpreted from is: G4601 σιγάω sigaō see-gah'-o to keep silent (transitive or intransitive): - keep close (secret, silence), hold peace. Now if that word means to keep silent and never utter a word in church then it must also mean the same in the previous verses as they are saying the same thing about two other groups of people - men and prophets. Now if this interpretation is correct then this leaves us in somewhat of a quandry as the only group of people that Paul never told to be quiet in those verses is children. Does this mean that the only people that can utter a sound in church is children? Of course not. If we read this chapter in context we can clearly see that Paul did not mean woman were to never utter a word in church but he did mean that all things were to be done in an orderly fashion. Obviously this was not happening and there was some confusion that Paul was correcting in this one church. Too often people cherry pick verses here and there to support there own beliefs rather than reading those verses in context and letting the Bible form their beliefs. Secondly some people have the idea that Adam was way off somewhere else when Satan tempted Eve. The scripture says different: Gen 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. Adam was with Eve the whole time Eve was being tempted. Adam could have stepped in at anytime and corrected Eve and put a stop to the temptation of Eve but he chose not to and we never see that he said anything during the time Eve and the serpent were talking. Adam knew what God said but chose to shut up.