At An Impasse

[LeonaS]

I'm with ladypeartree on this. If you can't go for the reasons you mentioned, then you shouldn't go. It seems your relatives are going to find fault whether you do go or not, so do what's best for YOU. I caution you to look into your heart and be sure that your not going is not because you're afraid of their scrutiny.

I'll tell you this little story. My mother died in a car accident. With her was her husband and his elderly parents. (This was in 1979). When it came time for the funerals I was told that her inlaws considered my mom to be at fault and I was ostrasized. None of them showed for my mom's funeral. But I went to my step-dads funeral. It was uncomfortable as heck, many staring eyes. But I went in, paid my respects, and left, head high. The point is, TT, if you're afraid of their stares and whispers, just go in with your chin up and say your farewell to your dad.

[7thseal]

terrible

rest

prolonged

clearcut

not welcome

Just highlighting what you have and see why...

I feel awkward staying at the house of my brother, who was the caregiver of dad and resented my 'not helping'...even though I can barely function daily with this disease! My brother's ongoing bitterness over that is evident in that he refuses to even speak to me on the phone. Meanwhile, another close relative with a violent temper has screamed horrible things at me on the phone for hours and even threatened me. I am scared to face this person.

Plus, my disease causes me to make loud involuntary noises which I can not control. Like belching and hiccups that make me sound like a seal. This would be disruptive to the funeral and embarrassing to my family. For they have not yet witnessed me in my full blown distorted face twisting spasms or these sounds, because my visit to dad was so brief. So all would be shocked and I'm sure they'd be then wishing then that I'd never come. Please give me your thoughts on what you would personally do in this complicated predicament I'm in. Thanks. Time is running out and I'm mentally exhausted from the relentless indecision.

You're using your current condition to avoid... perhaps forgiveness which the Lord is using the situation to claim. Why are you afraid? The enemy will take advantage of what you give them..... and I believe your missing much healing (both physical and spiritual) because of your fear.

[RebekahDavid]

terrible

rest

prolonged

clearcut

not welcome

Just highlighting what you have and see why...

I feel awkward staying at the house of my brother, who was the caregiver of dad and resented my 'not helping'...even though I can barely function daily with this disease! My brother's ongoing bitterness over that is evident in that he refuses to even speak to me on the phone. Meanwhile, another close relative with a violent temper has screamed horrible things at me on the phone for hours and even threatened me. I am scared to face this person.

Plus, my disease causes me to make loud involuntary noises which I can not control. Like belching and hiccups that make me sound like a seal. This would be disruptive to the funeral and embarrassing to my family. For they have not yet witnessed me in my full blown distorted face twisting spasms or these sounds, because my visit to dad was so brief. So all would be shocked and I'm sure they'd be then wishing then that I'd never come. Please give me your thoughts on what you would personally do in this complicated predicament I'm in. Thanks. Time is running out and I'm mentally exhausted from the relentless indecision.

You're using your current condition to avoid... perhaps forgiveness which the Lord is using the situation to claim. Why are you afraid? The enemy will take advantage of what you give them..... and I believe your missing much healing (both physical and spiritual) because of your fear.

blessings,

no offense but you are way off and clearly do not know our dear sister in the Lord to post what you posted. the fact that she would even consider such a trip despite her illness let alone the other multi level complications and is seeking councel from the Lord and His people shows she is not trying to avoiding anything.

love your sister in Christ,

Rebekah David

[other one]

terrible

rest

prolonged

clearcut

not welcome

Just highlighting what you have and see why...

I feel awkward staying at the house of my brother, who was the caregiver of dad and resented my 'not helping'...even though I can barely function daily with this disease! My brother's ongoing bitterness over that is evident in that he refuses to even speak to me on the phone. Meanwhile, another close relative with a violent temper has screamed horrible things at me on the phone for hours and even threatened me. I am scared to face this person.

Plus, my disease causes me to make loud involuntary noises which I can not control. Like belching and hiccups that make me sound like a seal. This would be disruptive to the funeral and embarrassing to my family. For they have not yet witnessed me in my full blown distorted face twisting spasms or these sounds, because my visit to dad was so brief. So all would be shocked and I'm sure they'd be then wishing then that I'd never come. Please give me your thoughts on what you would personally do in this complicated predicament I'm in. Thanks. Time is running out and I'm mentally exhausted from the relentless indecision.

You're using your current condition to avoid... perhaps forgiveness which the Lord is using the situation to claim. Why are you afraid? The enemy will take advantage of what you give them..... and I believe your missing much healing (both physical and spiritual) because of your fear.

blessings,

no offense but you are way off and clearly do not know our dear sister in the Lord to post what you posted. the fact that she would even consider such a trip despite her illness let alone the other multi level complications and is seeking councel from the Lord and His people shows she is not trying to avoiding anything.

love your sister in Christ,

Rebekah David

I would agree with that Rebekah.

[Littlelambseativy]

I too do not know you turtletwo as the others do, but when you have this much difficulty in coming to terms with a decision, I wonder if the Lord wants you to go and be a witness of His love. I do not know your physical limitations or your financial. I just seem to feel that you should go so that you do not have any regrets and can show the rest of the family that you are not petty and hurtful as they are. Do you have a friend to take with you to act as a buffer and assist you physically? Someone from church?

Sometimes we as a people (not referring to you) take the easy way and then regret not taking the high hard road. i have made those wrong choices of not going to something I should have gone to and have regretted it. But as I said I do not know you people on this board well at all. I actually even deleted those who said they were friends - so I really should not be giving you an opinion, but reading your post those are my feelings - it's as though you really do want to go.

[Guest]

Amen!

Praying!

[georgedrw81]

Praying!

Right

[nebula]

Keep in mind that grief can bring out the worst in folks too. Chances are there will be more hostility not less from them.

Myself, I probably wouldnt go. As long as your mother understands, thats really all that matters in the family. As for the others, it sounds like even if you went they would find fault with you. Why bother going for their sake?

But thats just me.

There's an idea - be with your mom at the same time the funeral is taking place and have a memorial service between the two of you.

Tell your relatives that since your mother can't go, you will be doing this with her.

[Rick-Parker]

You have to get your heart and your head in the same place. Then do what they tell you to do. I know that this is easy to say, and I am sure glad I'm not in your shoes. The Lord will bless you no matter what your decision is.

[7thseal]

blessings,

no offense but you are way off and clearly do not know our dear sister in the Lord to post what you posted. the fact that she would even consider such a trip despite her illness let alone the other multi level complications and is seeking councel from the Lord and His people shows she is not trying to avoiding anything.

love your sister in Christ,

Rebekah David

I would agree with that Rebekah.

Completely out of line on this one, 7thseal.

I'm sorry for having posted from the flesh and not under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I presumed His working in one situation was the same in another I faced and have been in error because of this. Again forgive me and thank you for your correction.