Photograph on my son's phone

[Shy Christian]

Suffice to say both of us earn low amounts of money, which I don't see changing, and we need to combine our resources for economic purposes.  What is bothering me though is the thought of him going down the wrong path by associating with ungodly-like people. 

[MorningGlory]

Suffice to say both of us earn low amounts of money, which I don't see changing, and we need to combine our resources for economic purposes.  What is bothering me though is the thought of him going down the wrong path by associating with ungodly-like people. 

 

At his age, Shy, you can't direct his life.  You can show him by example but he's going to do as he wishes.  The time to raise him is long in the past; you just have to let him live his own life even if you don't approve of it.  It's hard; I have three children of my own and it was not easy to let go.  But it's still the best thing for him.  What will happen if he marries and moves out, to you I mean?  You have to make provision for yourself as well when the time comes that you will be living on your own. 

[MorningGlory]

He can't afford to live anywhere else when he doesn't even earn "two figures" per year. 

 

Not being nosy but 'two figures' would mean he earns under $99.00 a year?  I can't think of any job that pays that little. 

[other one]

if he's still living at home not making money, I would ask how do you expect him to live if something happens to you......   might be the best thing in the world for him if you start to make him be self sustaining.

[Shy Christian]

 

He can't afford to live anywhere else when he doesn't even earn "two figures" per year. 

 

Not being nosy but 'two figures' would mean he earns under $99.00 a year?  I can't think of any job that pays that little. 

 

Between the two of us, we only earn a little more than $20k.  Therefore, it doesn't make economic sense to live apart and pay for separate housing, insurance, utilities, etc. 

[missmuffet]

 

 

He can't afford to live anywhere else when he doesn't even earn "two figures" per year. 

 

Not being nosy but 'two figures' would mean he earns under $99.00 a year?  I can't think of any job that pays that little. 

 

Between the two of us, we only earn a little more than $20k.  Therefore, it doesn't make economic sense to live apart and pay for separate housing, insurance, utilities, etc. 

 

Hmmm...it is more economical to live in one house.But you should share the expenses and respect each others independence.I think you have to look outside the box in this situation.And no one here is in the position to judge them.

[missmuffet]

Actually they are helping out each other.But if he should meet someone and decide to get married that should not be discouraged.

[MorningGlory]

 

 

He can't afford to live anywhere else when he doesn't even earn "two figures" per year. 

 

Not being nosy but 'two figures' would mean he earns under $99.00 a year?  I can't think of any job that pays that little. 

 

Between the two of us, we only earn a little more than $20k.  Therefore, it doesn't make economic sense to live apart and pay for separate housing, insurance, utilities, etc. 

 

 

Okay, I see.  But that would actually be five figures per year.  I can see that would be a problem but, depending on where you live, surely there are better paying jobs.  Even at a minimum wage of $7.50 per hour the yearly wage is about $16,000.  I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I'm just trying to understand the situation and, maybe, give you some helpful advice.  I'm a single woman that has been on my own for fifteen years now so I'm used to making it through this difficult world.  There is ALWAYS a way, Shy. 

[Willa]

Suffice to say both of us earn low amounts of money, which I don't see changing, and we need to combine our resources for economic purposes.  What is bothering me though is the thought of him going down the wrong path by associating with ungodly-like people. 

 

I agree that you need to be looking for an older godly single friend or relative with whom to share expenses.  It is not healthy for either you or your son to be dependent on each other for so long, both emotionally and financially.  You probably had been training him that he must answer to God for his actions many years ago.  You can and must pray for him. But it is his decision to acknowledge Jesus as Lord and King of his life or to follow another.  You can't do that for him.  You can't control a man in his late 20s.  If he backslides, Jesus is still the Good Shepherd Who goes after lost sheep.  There comes a time that you must let him reap the consequences of his own actions and under his own roof.    

 

Keeping my mouth shut has been the hardest thing for me to do.  But I had to let them make a growing number of their own decisions and would try to guide them in how to choose by verses like seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and by praying aloud with them for godly wisdom.  My usual question was "Have your prayed about it."   After praying for godly wives for them from the time they were in grade school, one led a girl to the Lord and married her a year later.  The other married a girl from his church who had been a friend for several years.  So you should be praying as well.   Our sons made many mistakes and dated some girls that I am glad they chose not to marry.   We as parents also made mistakes.  So in the end we must thank God for His grace because they still wanted to please us and to please God.  We had always kept healthy relationships and had developed much of that on common interests and hobbies, as well as respecting them and their growing independence.  Now, 20 years later, I still must keep my mouth shut unless asked.    

[Willa]

There is a company called Consumer Cellular that has very inexpensive basic plans with no long term contract.  If all this phone is for is emergencies, that should be good enough.  Even he should be able to afford that.  My wife doesn't talk on the cell phone at all, so I got her one of those plans for emergencies.  That might be a solution, and it limits the number of available minutes. 

Butero, in post 25 Shy said he is in his LATE 20s, which is a whole different picture.