Where IS God??

[Katrina 2015]

I have a question because I don't understand, I don't understand, I do not understand God. I don't and here's why. I live with my mom and we live in Maryland and while I'm a new christian, my mother is truly a fire baptized, speaks in utterance, hot blooded christian and believer but despite her being that, we've been going through numerous trials after trials after trials and tribulations after tribulations after tribulations. We can't seem to find a job, we can't seem to find a stable place to live where we can remain there for years. Now we're living in a small rooming house where everyone in the house are sinners and when I say sinners, I mean, one has a demonic personality where he has multiple alter egos/demons residing in him, the other one does drugs and is living in fornication and the other one works with the landlord in selling and distributing drugs undercover. And the landlord only cares about money.

And all four of these people have made our lives in this rooming house a living hell, they're true enemies to us and living there has just been terrible with housing violations that the landlord doesn't care to fix, with one of the tenants drug smoking that caused my mom (who has Asthma and COPD) to end up sick - and we told the landlord this and the landlord refuses to get rid of this drug usuing tenant - because sin/evil sticks with sin/evil - and the landlord uses drugs too and so we asked God to help us to move, move to a place where we can have peace and where we can be better christians than we are now. We made a vow to God that if he got us out of this place, we would be better christians because we truly would have peace and so we searched and searched and found this MUCH better place in a MUCH better neighborhood and we love it and love the landlord but since we don't have a job yet, we've been calling around to different churches trying to get help from them so we can get the funds to move into this new place. And we've been praying to God to ask and beg God to help us get the funds to get out of here. Well, we were able to get the first month's rent for the place but we're having a hard time trying to get the money for the securiy desposit for this place, let alone the money to get movers to help us get our stuff out of the place we're in. So we've been praying and praying for God to deliver us somehow, perform a miracle, help us, HELP US and yet for all our praying and asking and having the constant faith that God will deliver us and will help us - we have heard nothing - NOTHING but silence from him.

We've heard unanswered prayers - that's it and I got so mad and so angry about it today that I did say a blasphemous "GD" out of anger but immediately felt guilty and apologized for it mentally. My mom got mad with me about it but then later stated she understood how I felt but, I was just SO angry because I feel like - for the last past two weeks, since I decided to start getting serious about being a christian, I've been doing just that, I got rid of my worldy music, my worldy films, I have prayed every day, I started listening to sermons and gospel songs and have really tried to be the best christian I could while living in a terrible place like this - and I made a vow to God (and so did my mom) that once we got into our new place, we would be even BETTER christians - so we've been doing ALL of this, especially me - I have been doing all this - not so God can bless us but because - well the thought of going to hell and the thought of being left behind or that the great tribulation might soon come - scared me into getting serious with God - anyway, despite doing all of this - ALL our prayers seem to be going unheard, it's as if God has turned a deaf ear on us or like he's not listening OR like we're praying to air. And I just DO NOT get it, I don't. I'm seriously thinking I'm ready to give up on being a christian and am ready to go back to being the way I was but then apart of me wants to hold on because I keep thinking, these problems are all of the devil and the devil is doing this so we - I CAN let go of God and forget God.

 

And furthermore, since the time we began having problems with these tenants in the rooming house and the landlord, we constantly ask God to do vengance upon them, we even say "God you said vengenace is mine saith the lord, so we ask you to do vengance upon these four enemies of ours who are being mean and cruel to us. Because you said touch not my anointed and do them no harm." Well despite us constantly asking God this - NOTHING bad has happened to these four enemies, no venegance has come upon them - oh except one of them (the one who says he has alter egos/demons in him) claims their car was stolen but we believe he's lying because he's a pathological liar and we have caught him in many lies - but not one of them have had anything bad happen to them, in fact they're still getting blessed with money, they have their cars and they're enjoying life - meanwhile US - the ones whom they have done wrong to, we're suffering like hell. Some nights we go to bed hungry, some nights, I cry out of depression for the poverty we're living in. WHY? And I know the bible says "fret not thyself over evil doers who prosperth in their way" but still, you can't help BUT to fret when you see your ENEMIES being and getting blessed 24/7 and when you ask God to enact vengenace upon your enemies - God doesn't do THAT but what he does do is allow Satan to continue to let them have blessings after blessings after blessings?

Furthermore, we have never truly enjoyed true happiness - my mom and I - NEVER. My mom's dream was always to have her own home, she's 64 and it looks like she's nowhere NEAR reaching that dream, I have dreams that I was sure by the age I am now - 30, God would allow me to have - they haven't happened, despite my prayers and requests to God - so what? Are we to just live a life of poverty, broken dreams, unhappiness and despair and then ONLY when we die and go to heaven, can we have the good life we SO much wanted here on Earth? How is that FAIR? When other so-called "christians" and even sinners are living their best life now (not to quote the ever so false prophetly Joel Osteen) but WE are suffering immensely and we're doing our extreme best to follow God's will, way and word....

 

I just - someone give me some answers on this because I'm confused and I truly believe God either - doesn't like us or hates us and that's why he's not answering our prayers and requests or God doesn't give a crap about us and that's why he's ignoring us or - maybe, just maybe - DOES he exist?? I don't know but....It makes me wonder whether I still want to continue with this christian walk or not because I'm tired and fed up of praying to someone and the prayers are not working AT ALL.

[Guest shiloh357]

Your prayers are not being answered because prayer isn't about getting God to do what you want him to do.  We pray to align ourselves with God in every situation.  We learn His will and we pray in line with that.

 

May I suggest that you seek some pastoral counseling?   Given all you have written, you need more spiritual guidance and assistance than what can be provided on a message board.  This is not the place to seek help on the level that you need. 

 

There are people on this board of varied levels of spiritual maturity and so you will get conflicting answers.   You need to be plugged into a local church and you need a pastor you can talk to about all of this.

[Marilyn C]

Hi Katrina 2015,

 

I think you have a wrong understanding of what God is doing in our lives. he is making us like Christ - caring, thoughtful, kind, friendly, thankful....etc He is not fulfilling our dreams for that is our selfish wants. The first step to knowing Christ & understanding how He is working in your lives is to be -

 

Thankful - What are you thankful for ....a mother , a life, some food, a roof over your head....etc etc Some people don`t even have those things. How can God give you more to be responsible for if you are not appreciating & being responsible for what you have.

 

The believers walk with the Lord is a process of letting go of our selfish wants & seeing Him change our inner self. That inner self is what you will be forever, so that is why it is important to work with the Lord as He changes us.

 

We all go through the same journey.

 

Marilyn.

[Katrina 2015]

So ok I should be thankful that we're in a place where a tenant's drug smoking is so bad, it affects my mother to where she has to be hospitalized and there's NO heat in the house, sometimes - many times we go to bed hungry, we can't find a job which means we have to continue to call churches to get help with daily needs and churches refuse to help people so we're either in court for non payment of rent or soon to be homeless on the street - BUT asking God to help us through all this - ALONG with helping us with our spiritual needs is wrong? So If we become homeless or my mom goes in the hospital and dies from inhaling the drugs that tenant is smoking, I should be - THANKFUL?? WOW...ok

Edited February 24, 2015 by Katrina 2015

[Guest shiloh357]

Asking God to help you is one thing, but asking God to take vengeance on someone else is not proper prayer.   We can be thankful in a situation without being thankful for the situation.   You really need to seek some pastoral counseling.

 

You can be thankful for the good things God has already done for you and recognize that He will be faithful to you  in this situation too.  But you need to be patient in this.  God is working, but the solution may not be the one YOU think is the right one.

[other one]

So ok I should be thankful that we're in a place where a tenant's drug smoking is so bad, it affects my mother to where she has to be hospitalized and there's NO heat in the house, sometimes - many times we go to bed hungry, we can't find a job which means we have to continue to call churches to get help with daily needs and churches refuse to help people so we're either in court for non payment of rent or soon to be homeless on the street - BUT asking God to help us through all this - ALONG with helping us with our spiritual needs is wrong? So If we become homeless or my mom goes in the hospital and dies from inhaling the drugs that tenant is smoking, I should be - THANKFUL?? WOW...ok

call the police...

 

go to an employment office and ask a professional to find you a job that you are qualified for.

 

Be thankful that you don't have to live in the streets.

 

you can't just sit back and expect God to put these things in your lap......   ask him for help, but you also must do.

[ayin jade]

So ok I should be thankful that we're in a place where a tenant's drug smoking is so bad, it affects my mother to where she has to be hospitalized and there's NO heat in the house, sometimes - many times we go to bed hungry, we can't find a job which means we have to continue to call churches to get help with daily needs and churches refuse to help people so we're either in court for non payment of rent or soon to be homeless on the street - BUT asking God to help us through all this - ALONG with helping us with our spiritual needs is wrong? So If we become homeless or my mom goes in the hospital and dies from inhaling the drugs that tenant is smoking, I should be - THANKFUL?? WOW...ok

 

We are to love the Lord. If you are only thankful to Him when things are going well for you, then do you truly love Him or just love the things He can do for you?

 

Be thankful to Him and praise Him in all situations. Good and bad.

[Kan]

Get out of there as soon as you can. Pray to God to help you, He will help you and cares about your situation. Trust Him and do your best to get out. You are not asking God amiss. Your prayers have been heard. Make sure that you all love God.

It is not proper to live in those conditions where people are likely to hurt you. Their influence is not good on anyone.

[wingnut-]

I have a question because I don't understand, I don't understand, I do not understand God. I don't and here's why. I live with my mom and we live in Maryland and while I'm a new christian, my mother is truly a fire baptized, speaks in utterance, hot blooded christian and believer but despite her being that, we've been going through numerous trials after trials after trials and tribulations after tribulations after tribulations. We can't seem to find a job, we can't seem to find a stable place to live where we can remain there for years. Now we're living in a small rooming house where everyone in the house are sinners and when I say sinners, I mean, one has a demonic personality where he has multiple alter egos/demons residing in him, the other one does drugs and is living in fornication and the other one works with the landlord in selling and distributing drugs undercover. And the landlord only cares about money.

And all four of these people have made our lives in this rooming house a living hell, they're true enemies to us and living there has just been terrible with housing violations that the landlord doesn't care to fix, with one of the tenants drug smoking that caused my mom (who has Asthma and COPD) to end up sick - and we told the landlord this and the landlord refuses to get rid of this drug usuing tenant - because sin/evil sticks with sin/evil - and the landlord uses drugs too and so we asked God to help us to move, move to a place where we can have peace and where we can be better christians than we are now. We made a vow to God that if he got us out of this place, we would be better christians because we truly would have peace and so we searched and searched and found this MUCH better place in a MUCH better neighborhood and we love it and love the landlord but since we don't have a job yet, we've been calling around to different churches trying to get help from them so we can get the funds to move into this new place. And we've been praying to God to ask and beg God to help us get the funds to get out of here. Well, we were able to get the first month's rent for the place but we're having a hard time trying to get the money for the securiy desposit for this place, let alone the money to get movers to help us get our stuff out of the place we're in. So we've been praying and praying for God to deliver us somehow, perform a miracle, help us, HELP US and yet for all our praying and asking and having the constant faith that God will deliver us and will help us - we have heard nothing - NOTHING but silence from him.

We've heard unanswered prayers - that's it and I got so mad and so angry about it today that I did say a blasphemous "GD" out of anger but immediately felt guilty and apologized for it mentally. My mom got mad with me about it but then later stated she understood how I felt but, I was just SO angry because I feel like - for the last past two weeks, since I decided to start getting serious about being a christian, I've been doing just that, I got rid of my worldy music, my worldy films, I have prayed every day, I started listening to sermons and gospel songs and have really tried to be the best christian I could while living in a terrible place like this - and I made a vow to God (and so did my mom) that once we got into our new place, we would be even BETTER christians - so we've been doing ALL of this, especially me - I have been doing all this - not so God can bless us but because - well the thought of going to hell and the thought of being left behind or that the great tribulation might soon come - scared me into getting serious with God - anyway, despite doing all of this - ALL our prayers seem to be going unheard, it's as if God has turned a deaf ear on us or like he's not listening OR like we're praying to air. And I just DO NOT get it, I don't. I'm seriously thinking I'm ready to give up on being a christian and am ready to go back to being the way I was but then apart of me wants to hold on because I keep thinking, these problems are all of the devil and the devil is doing this so we - I CAN let go of God and forget God.

 

And furthermore, since the time we began having problems with these tenants in the rooming house and the landlord, we constantly ask God to do vengance upon them, we even say "God you said vengenace is mine saith the lord, so we ask you to do vengance upon these four enemies of ours who are being mean and cruel to us. Because you said touch not my anointed and do them no harm." Well despite us constantly asking God this - NOTHING bad has happened to these four enemies, no venegance has come upon them - oh except one of them (the one who says he has alter egos/demons in him) claims their car was stolen but we believe he's lying because he's a pathological liar and we have caught him in many lies - but not one of them have had anything bad happen to them, in fact they're still getting blessed with money, they have their cars and they're enjoying life - meanwhile US - the ones whom they have done wrong to, we're suffering like hell. Some nights we go to bed hungry, some nights, I cry out of depression for the poverty we're living in. WHY? And I know the bible says "fret not thyself over evil doers who prosperth in their way" but still, you can't help BUT to fret when you see your ENEMIES being and getting blessed 24/7 and when you ask God to enact vengenace upon your enemies - God doesn't do THAT but what he does do is allow Satan to continue to let them have blessings after blessings after blessings?

Furthermore, we have never truly enjoyed true happiness - my mom and I - NEVER. My mom's dream was always to have her own home, she's 64 and it looks like she's nowhere NEAR reaching that dream, I have dreams that I was sure by the age I am now - 30, God would allow me to have - they haven't happened, despite my prayers and requests to God - so what? Are we to just live a life of poverty, broken dreams, unhappiness and despair and then ONLY when we die and go to heaven, can we have the good life we SO much wanted here on Earth? How is that FAIR? When other so-called "christians" and even sinners are living their best life now (not to quote the ever so false prophetly Joel Osteen) but WE are suffering immensely and we're doing our extreme best to follow God's will, way and word....

 

I just - someone give me some answers on this because I'm confused and I truly believe God either - doesn't like us or hates us and that's why he's not answering our prayers and requests or God doesn't give a crap about us and that's why he's ignoring us or - maybe, just maybe - DOES he exist?? I don't know but....It makes me wonder whether I still want to continue with this christian walk or not because I'm tired and fed up of praying to someone and the prayers are not working AT ALL.

 

 

Katrina,

 

Things don't always come right away, but you can't let your faith be shaken by the things of this world.  The enemy wants you to doubt, so naturally when you begin to make an effort to draw closer to God, you should expect trouble.  These are things you will see as you grow in your faith, but there are a few things you said that I wanted to show you where you need to address your approach.

 

 

and when you ask God to enact vengenace upon your enemies - God doesn't do THAT

 

 

 

Matthew 5:44  But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

 

Luke 6:28  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

 

 

Furthermore, we have never truly enjoyed true happiness - my mom and I - NEVER.

 

 

 

Philippians 4:⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. ⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. ⁹ The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

 

¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. ¹² I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. ¹³ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

[Ezra]

I have a question because I don't understand, I don't understand, I do not understand God. I don't and here's why.

Hi Katrina,

 

You've been courageous in sharing these very personal issues with others on the forum, and should be commended for that.  I feel for you and your mother and I will pray for you. I am also experiencing what you are.  I hope someone who reads this has the heart and the means to provide you with some tangible help, which is what you are looking for.  I can assure you that if I were in that position I would give you the help you need.

 

The only way to understand God is to see what He does and says in Scripture, and lay hold on those passages which reflect our situation (especially in the Psalms).  And don't forget that God did not explain Himself to Job, but eventually blessed him.

 

I live with my mom and we live in Maryland and while I'm a new christian, my mother is truly a fire baptized, speaks in utterance, hot blooded christian and believer but despite her being that, we've been going through numerous trials after trials after trials and tribulations after tribulations after tribulations. We can't seem to find a job, we can't seem to find a stable place to live where we can remain there for years.

 

Don't give up on your hopes and dreams. Make some serious plans, write them down, and present them to the Lord no matter what, and keep on persisting because sometimes persistence is what He wants to see. Perhaps He is testing both of your faiths as He did king David and many others (Jas 1:1-4; 1 Pet 1:6,7).  God does not intend for you to suffer forever, and you will see that in the Psalms.

 

 

Now we're living in a small rooming house where everyone in the house are sinners and when I say sinners, I mean, one has a demonic personality where he has multiple alter egos/demons residing in him, the other one does drugs and is living in fornication and the other one works with the landlord in selling and distributing drugs undercover. And the landlord only cares about money.

 

If you both are members of a church, bring this to the attention of the pastors/elders and ask for their help in relocating to a Christian landlord they may know about.  Perhaps your church should be praying for you, but be careful in what you share publicly. Keep requests more generic for your own safety and peace of mind, since those people know you personally.

So we've been praying and praying for God to deliver us somehow, perform a miracle, help us, HELP US and yet for all our praying and asking and having the constant faith that God will deliver us and will help us - we have heard nothing - NOTHING but silence from him.

 

I know exactly what you're saying.  Just keep in mind that there is really no one else to turn to, and that all we can do is keep on bringing these issues to the Lord and asking for a resoluton. Tell the Lord exactly how you feel about this wall of silence (even though He knows our thoughts).  Just pour out your heart to Him, but begin with praise and worship, and follow the pattern Christ laid down in Mt 6:9-13.

We've heard unanswered prayers - that's it and I got so mad and so angry about it today that I did say a blasphemous "GD" out of anger but immediately felt guilty and apologized for it mentally. My mom got mad with me about it but then later stated she understood how I felt but, I was just SO angry because I feel like - for the last past two weeks, since I decided to start getting serious about being a christian

 

Because you decided to get serious about being a Christian, Satan decided to attack you seriously and bring you down. He also got you to get angry with God and blapheme Him.  Satan wants to drive a wedge between God and His children, and he is frequently successful.  Just tell the Lord you are unable to take any more of this pressure.  The Lord has said He cares for us, so remind Him about those Scriptures (although, once again, He already knows).

 

 

I've been doing just that, I got rid of my worldy music, my worldy films, I have prayed every day, I started listening to sermons and gospel songs and have really tried to be the best christian I could while living in a terrible place like this - and I made a vow to God (and so did my mom) that once we got into our new place, we would be even BETTER christians - so we've been doing ALL of this, especially me - I have been doing all this - not so God can bless us but because - well the thought of going to hell and the thought of being left behind or that the great tribulation might soon come - scared me into getting serious with God - anyway, despite doing all of this - ALL our prayers seem to be going unheard, it's as if God has turned a deaf ear on us or like he's not listening OR like we're praying to air.

 

You've done the right things, so don't stop and don't back down. Perhaps you and your mother should determine if you both should simply fast and pray at this time, and wait on the Lord. Tell Him you will not let Him go unless He blesses you, as Jacob did with the Angel of the Lord, and Hannah did for Samuel.  Sometimes this is what it will take.

 

And I just DO NOT get it, I don't. I'm seriously thinking I'm ready to give up on being a christian and am ready to go back to being the way I was but then apart of me wants to hold on because I keep thinking, these problems are all of the devil and the devil is doing this so we - I CAN let go of God and forget God.

 

You can see Satan's hand in this.  Don't give up and don't back down.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and He will lift you up eventually (Mt 7:7-11; Jas 4:5-10; 5:10,11).

 

And furthermore, since the time we began having problems with these tenants in the rooming house and the landlord, we constantly ask God to do vengance upon them, we even say "God you said vengenace is mine saith the lord, so we ask you to do vengance upon these four enemies of ours who are being mean and cruel to us.

 

Here's where you will have to change your attitude, and ask the Lord to bless these evildoers and bring them to repentance and salvation (Mt  5:43-48). This is what the Lord wants, not your flesh.

 

Some nights we go to bed hungry, some nights, I cry out of depression for the poverty we're living in. WHY? And I know the bible says "fret not thyself over evil doers who prosperth in their way" but still, you can't help BUT to fret when you see your ENEMIES being and getting blessed 24/7...

 

Don't focus on what God is doing or not doing for others.  Focus on who you are in Christ -- that you are a child of God, an heir of God, and a joint-heir with Christ.  And seek the help of fellow-Christians in terms of food on the table, etc.

 

Are we to just live a life of poverty, broken dreams, unhappiness and despair and then ONLY when we die and go to heaven, can we have the good life we SO much wanted here on Earth?

 

Christ came to give us life, abundant life, and eternal life.  At the same time "All those who live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution".  Just remember that  with God all things are possible, and that He did not abandon Job, or Daniel, or many others.  He delivered both Peter and Paul from prison.  So pray for deliverance, and lift up the Psalms which ask for deliverance to the Lord.

Edited February 25, 2015 by Ezra