spouse vs friends

[simplejeff]

A servant,  a slave,  a messenger of Yahweh,   could both smoke and drink coffee without any sin**.  The sin would be, as Scripture is clear, in those in the natural who try to appraise those who are spiritual as if they were sinning when they weren't,  as well as everything else in the natural, of course....

 

**and they could totally, as Jesus did/does, visit and have dinner with and spend time with (towards their healing and salvation Yahweh's Way) tax collectors, thieves, and prostitutes, also...... with no sin in themselves (the spiritual).

[Neighbor]

22 minutes ago, Running Gator said:

Do you think that if 50 Christians got together in a room they could decide what was "reasonable" and what was not? 

I have been told on this forum it is wrong to ride in the car with a female not my spouse or immediate family member.   This includes work situations to the point that people would take their own vehicle instead of being alone in a car with a woman.    

I find that outrageous and totally unreasonable.   Yet for some it is totally normal.  

Gator, they would not have to (Be reasonable and responsible), I would. It just doesn't matter what others do! 

My testimony is not going to be compromised by my trying to justify not being protective of my own reputation and that of any and all women I might be near or with, because others are comfortable and are doing what is to them normal.

I am not others I am me. I am set apart as are you. As servants of Jesus  we are targets of evil. I cannot afford to be challenging evil to a contest when I could be defeting evil by refusing to play it's game in the first place.

[Neighbor]

6 minutes ago, Sinbad said:

Giving a girl or woman a lift home I don't see a problem with that especially in this day and age with taxis not being registered and I must confess it would only be women that Jane a day I knew 

The answer is Sorry I can't do that. Do you need taxi money? For what may happen is when she arrives home she will innocently ask, care for a drink, or come in and have coffee as my thank you. Now what do you do? You have flattered yourself, and now  are set for the trapping of both of you by evil. You have already punched the tar baby Brer Rabbit.Remember Brer Rabbit? He always had a way of doing things he had no business doing in the first place.  At it's simplest the old adage is wisdom found on many a service garage wall behind the counter- "Sorry but, poor planning on your part does not necessarily make for an emergency on mine."

Better she walk ,call her husband, brother, friend, or taxi or Uber, than to get to you and her into a compromising appearance.

[missmuffet]

15 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

The answer is Sorry I can't do that. Do you need taxi money? For what may happen is when she arrives home she will innocently ask, care for a drink, or come in and have coffee as my thank you. Now what do you do? You have flattered yourself, and now  are set for the trapping of both of you by evil. You have already punched the tar baby Brer Rabbit.Remember Brer Rabbit? He always had a way of doing things he had no business doing in the first place.  At it's simplest the old adage is wisdom found on many a service garage wall behind the counter- "Sorry but, poor planning on your part does not necessarily make for an emergency on mine."

Better she walk ,call her husband, brother, friend, or taxi or Uber, than to get to you and her into a compromising appearance.

A Christian would exam their motives. What would God want me to do here?

[Running Gator]

1 hour ago, missmuffet said:

Being in a car alone with a woman? What is on your heart and your mind? You are giving a woman a ride home because she is stranded. No problem.... unless.........

The office I work in is roughly 60/40 women to men. Often we have to go on the road for a day either to meet with a producer or with some of our field enumerators for training.  The people that go to those things are determined by whose commodity is being dealt with.   Often that involves a man and a woman going some place in the company car, often that place is 2 to 4 hours away.   There are people on this board that say they would not do that, I find that to be unreasonable. 

[Running Gator]

1 hour ago, Steve_S said:

Your examples from earlier were not along these lines, though, they were extremes.

This would be the rough equivalent of someone accusing another person of adultery because they happened to sit in a waiting room at a doctor's office alone with a woman they'd never met for 10 minutes. Of course that would be ridiculous, but there are always people who will find something to pick at, but that's not really what this thread is about.

Your second example about the gay thing, i'm not sure why that's even relevant, but if a married woman were spending several hours alone with a single man (or vice versa), going to his home three nights a week for a few hours at a time, staying the night occasionally, that would obviously not be an image a Christian would want to present.

You call these things "extremes" but they happen.  My wife reminded me of the time when I was deployed for 6 months with the Marines.  There was the wife of one of the Marines from my squadron that was friends with a male from a unit that was not deployed.  Both of these people attended the same church we did.  The man and woman went out of their way to avoid being together even when talking in the foyer after the service.   After a couple of weeks them doing this my wife was approached by the wives of a couple of the deacons who wanted to talk to her about the two people.   It seems that they went to such extremes to avoid each other that it was actually seen as a sign they were having an affair and were trying to hide it.  

It is my opinion that people totally misuse the 1 The 5:22 and that the KJV actually mistranslated the verse.  The ESV gets it right...Abstain from every form of evil.

[Steve_S]

1 hour ago, Running Gator said:

You call these things "extremes" but they happen.  My wife reminded me of the time when I was deployed for 6 months with the Marines.  There was the wife of one of the Marines from my squadron that was friends with a male from a unit that was not deployed.  Both of these people attended the same church we did.  The man and woman went out of their way to avoid being together even when talking in the foyer after the service.   After a couple of weeks them doing this my wife was approached by the wives of a couple of the deacons who wanted to talk to her about the two people.   It seems that they went to such extremes to avoid each other that it was actually seen as a sign they were having an affair and were trying to hide it.  

It is my opinion that people totally misuse the 1 The 5:22 and that the KJV actually mistranslated the verse.  The ESV gets it right...Abstain from every form of evil.

I'm finding it difficult to understand your position here. Are you basically claiming that there is no circumstance in which a married man or woman would ever really need to abstain from interactions with the opposite gender short of adultery? Is there a "too far" for you?

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, Running Gator said:

The office I work in is roughly 60/40 women to men. Often we have to go on the road for a day either to meet with a producer or with some of our field enumerators for training.  The people that go to those things are determined by whose commodity is being dealt with.   Often that involves a man and a woman going some place in the company car, often that place is 2 to 4 hours away.   There are people on this board that say they would not do that, I find that to be unreasonable. 

That is your job and that is your choice. Ok  take a married man who has just been promoted. He will get a huge increase in pay and benefits. But..... this job would put him in the position to travel with another woman as a work partner. He would be required to travel often and stay in hotels and motels. There would be men and women combined working together and staying in separate rooms in these hotels or motels. They would sometimes all meet up to have a drink in the evening. They would meet together for breakfast before they went out on the road again. Would this promotion be worth it?

[Running Gator]

15 minutes ago, Steve_S said:

I'm finding it difficult to understand your position here. Are you basically claiming that there is no circumstance in which a married man or woman would ever really need to abstain from interactions with the opposite gender short of adultery? Is there a "too far" for you?

Yes, there are lot's of "too fars" for me.  I would not be alone in a hotel room with a woman not my wife or family member.  I would not eat at a romantic restaurant with a woman not my wife.  I would not engage in flirtatious or suggestive talk with a woman not my wife. 

But I will drive with one in a car, and I will eat a meal with one (except as mentioned above), I will give one a ride if they have a flat tire.  

I am not given to allowing others perceptions dictate my actions. 

[Running Gator]

2 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

That is your job and that is your choice. Ok  take a married man who has just been promoted. He will get a huge increase in pay and benefits. But..... this job would put him in the position to travel with another woman as a work partner. He would be required to travel often and stay in hotels and motels. There would be men and women combined working together and staying in separate rooms in these hotels or motels. They would sometimes all meet up to have a drink in the evening. They would meet together for breakfast before they went out on the road again. Would this promotion be worth it?

Yes.  With my job we sometimes have multi day schools that require us to be out of town from Monday to Thursday.  About 5 to 6 of us go and we stay at a hotel in our own rooms.   We eat dinner together and have been known to have a drink at the end of the night.   Then we go to our rooms and get ready go to bed. 

We are all adults and can control ourselves.  

The only thing about your scenario that is different is that it is not often, only once or twice a year.