Moving in with my boyfriend

[Guest In Him]

There is a way which seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12

Run, don't walk, to your nearest Baptist pastor and tell him your predicament. Baptists are well-known for their walk in the fruit of the Spirit, and if you sincerely want help...

[Debp]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

What if I marry him? 

How old are you?   Are you and your boyfriend mature enough for marriage and for raising children?   Because you will most probably have children sooner than later.  Can your boyfriend provide for a family?   These are some things to think over before getting married.

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

Also I feel a bit of unfairness. I have cousins who's Dad is a pastor. The female one had a couple kids while under her parents roof and the boy had a live in girlfriend they have children...and I feel slighted. 

Why am I threatened with hell when they did all of that and God is still with them and talks to them on the daily basis? Why? That's not fair at all.

Why is it just different for me? If they don't have a one way ticket to hell I shouldn't either. 

 

 

Your cousins did the wrong things by having sex outside of marriage.   Have they now repented of those sins and sincerely asked for forgiveness?  That is the only way God will forgive them.   There is a verse in the Bible that says "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me."

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

Also not to mention. Not only did they have a parent that pastors but God speaks to them personally... something I wished and always wanted. 

 

I feel I usually get silence...even when I pursue God it's just silence. They often got to experience more in depth speiritually ...

So that compunded with the fact they have those gifts .. if they don't face any repurcussions and God still leads them dialy in their life then neither should I especially since I just don't have what they have. 

 

Idk I think I already made my decision because every time I think About this...I think about the unfairness and bias of it. 

 

We don't know other people's hearts....just because they say they hear from the Lord doesn't mean they do.   Jesus said "You will know them by their fruit."  Jesus said a good tree doesn't give bad fruit....that means if we claim we are a Christian but our lives are continually sinful, are we really a believer?

Have you asked the Lord to forgive you for these attitudes towards your cousins?   Leave them in the Lord's hands if they are living in sin.   But as for yourself, seek to keep walking with Jesus.   Have a little time each day to pray and read your Bible in order to grow spiritually...if you seek the Lord, He will respond.

[Figure of eighty]

40 minutes ago, Debp said:

How old are you?   Are you and your boyfriend mature enough for marriage and for raising children?   Because you will most probably have children sooner than later.  Can your boyfriend provide for a family?   These are some things to think over before getting married.

Your cousins did the wrong things by having sex outside of marriage.   Have they now repented of those sins and sincerely asked for forgiveness?  That is the only way God will forgive them.   There is a verse in the Bible that says "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me."

We don't know other people's hearts....just because they say they hear from the Lord doesn't mean they do.   Jesus said "You will know them by their fruit."  Jesus said a good tree doesn't give bad fruit....that means if we claim we are a Christian but our lives are continually sinful, are we really a believer?

Have you asked the Lord to forgive you for these attitudes towards your cousins?   Leave them in the Lord's hands if they are living in sin.   But as for yourself, seek to keep walking with Jesus.   Have a little time each day to pray and read your Bible in order to grow spiritually...if you seek the Lord, He will respond.

It's just not fair to me. 

 

As for the kids part I'll be able to handle that.

[HAZARD]

3 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

It's just not fair to me. 

 

As for the kids part I'll be able to handle that.

Welcome.

Short answer, Live together, share expenses, help and support each other, but don't commit adultery, that is, have sexual relations out side of marriage. That's the hard part. If you can do that, all is well with God. 

Edited October 23, 2018 by HAZARD

[Debp]

3 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

It's just not fair to me. 

 

As for the kids part I'll be able to handle that.

What does your boyfriend think about marriage?   Is he ready for the responsibility and can he provide financially for a family?

[*Pumpkin*]

1 hour ago, HAZARD said:

Welcome.

Short answer, Live together, share expenses, help and support each other, but don't commit adultery, that is, have sexual relations out side of marriage. That's the hard part. If you can do that, all is well with God. 

Don't fall into a pit, my friend!

[Omegaman 3.0]

2 hours ago, HAZARD said:

short answer, Live together, share expenses, help and support each other, but don't commit adultery, that is, have sexual relations out side of marriage. That's the hard part. If you can do that, all is well with God. 

Short answer, maybe,

better answer- don't live together and put yourself into temptation. Also, don't live in a way, that people will assume, you are having relations together, even if you DO have enough self control.

If you can, get an education, be able to take care of yourself first, then, when you have demonstrated that you can live like responsible, self reliant adults, and have banked a bit of money for emergencies, then, get married and move in together. Avoiding the future problems and pain you would otherwise likely have.

If there are financial reasons, and home is not a good environment, then find a same gender friend and share an apartment. Do you want to be a burden to others? If not, consider how you might not be, and work toward that.

Also, this part of the forum is for introducing yourself, welcoming others and being welcomed by others, so welcome.

The question/topic you have started here, belongs in the advice area, the prayer area, or even the general area.

[HAZARD]

5 minutes ago, Omegaman 3.0 said:

Short answer, maybe,

better answer- don't live together and put yourself into temptation. Also, don't live in a way, that people will assume, you are having relations together, even if you DO have enough self control.

If you can, get an education, be able to take care of yourself first, then, when you have demonstrated that you can live like responsible, self reliant adults, and have banked a bit of money for emergencies, then, get married and move in together. Avoiding the future problems and pain you would otherwise likely have.

If there are financial reasons, and home is not a good environment, then find a same gender friend and share an apartment. Do you want to be a burden to others? If not, consider how you might not be, and work toward that.

People can and do resist temptation. Not living together will not stop adultery if one falls to temptation. 

[Omegaman 3.0]

1 minute ago, HAZARD said:

People can and do resist temptation. Not living together will not stop adultery if one falls to temptation. 

Some do, but I would bet that most or more, do not. Let's not pretend otherwise. Opportunity to sin, is greatly multiplied in such a situation. Even the notion of moving in together, is sin knocking at the door, why not just avoid the issue and use wisdom instead. There is also still the issue or avoiding the appearance of evil, just being a good witness to the world, assuming that we are talking about a Christian here. Please Hazard, do not encourage her to make a decision, she will regret later.

In any case, please limit future replies here to the topic of welcomes, and not drama and problems and advice, and I can do the same.

[Justin Adams]

Welcome. You will get good advice here. Taking it is often a problem.