Extrovert to introvert

[Keny]

Before I used to be an outgoing kid. I would always be hanging out with friends and just be crazy me. Now I seem to not be as crazy ( at least not if my friends are not with me) and spend time on my phone by myself. I always felt the urge to go outside was never an insider person. But that was when I was a child. Now that I am a teen, it's been hard to be the person that I truly was before. Anxiety, fear and worry has taken its toll on me. I hate it whenever people say why I spend time alone or why I am quiet. I never think of myself as that. Truly speaking since I came from a different country, living in the USA was a hard start considering that I didn't speak English very well. That is also where it all started. Where I started to just dwell inside not as I used to be before always thinking out loud. Of course as I progressed in my English , I started being a bit open to others and started making conversations with people that I never talked to. Sometimes I do have setbacks and just being alone makes me mad because I want to be open and reveal the person that I used to be. Any advice?

[missmuffet]

11 minutes ago, Keny said:

Before I used to be an outgoing kid. I would always be hanging out with friends and just be crazy me. Now I seem to not be as crazy ( at least not if my friends are not with me) and spend time on my phone by myself. I always felt the urge to go outside was never an insider person. But that was when I was a child. Now that I am a teen, it's been hard to be the person that I truly was before. Anxiety, fear and worry has taken its toll on me. I hate it whenever people say why I spend time alone or why I am quiet. I never think of myself as that. Truly speaking since I came from a different country, living in the USA was a hard start considering that I didn't speak English very well. That is also where it all started. Where I started to just dwell inside not as I used to be before always thinking out loud. Of course as I progressed in my English , I started being a bit open to others and started making conversations with people that I never talked to. Sometimes I do have setbacks and just being alone makes me mad because I want to be open and reveal the person that I used to be. Any advice?

Do you think you have a social anxiety disorder? It is a self esteem issue? Do you think people are judging you? It is ok to be an introvert and be alone sometimes. If this is a huge concern of yours you could talk to a Christian counselor. 

[Keny]

It's not any kind of social disorder. Yes my self esteem has gone down and yes sometimes I just think that people are judging me. I just feel like I am not myself and just because I feel I guess people judge, I reserved myself and it just became a habit

[dr3032]

I locked myself away in high school because of gossip. I wouldn't even go to lunch; i'd sit in front of my locker and wait until the lunch period was past. Honestly, if I could go back, i'd try to do better as far as grades go, and try to open up even just a bit more.

Though, being a loser did have it's advantages. I certainly never had to deal with drugs or alcohol. A few encounters with some girls that were a bit too brazen in their approach, but it was good that they scared me, as it kept my virginity intact. I didn't have anyone to talk to in class, so it did make me pay attention - I didn't even have to study and i'd still get A's or B's, most of the time.

Let me tell you - You aren't really going to see most of those kids after you leave. High school is temporary, despite how long it feels. If they happen to not like you, forget them. It's not worth the effort nor the worry. Just relax. Focus on your studies and on finding friends of quality, not of quantity. My friends and I were losers, but they helped me get through high school. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by dr3032

[BeauJangles]

1 hour ago, Keny said:

spend time on my phone by myself.

what? 

[Keny]

I meant going on my phone alone in a room

[AnOrangeCat]

Changes like that can be a perfectly normal thing. There's often a shift in expectations and responsibilities at some point in our teenage years, plus the oddness of hormones kicking in. It tends to continue even into adult life. For me my teenage years were really where I found myself and part of that involved becoming more introverted and thoughtful.

[Debp]

On 7/26/2019 at 11:37 AM, Keny said:

It's not any kind of social disorder. Yes my self esteem has gone down and yes sometimes I just think that people are judging me. I just feel like I am not myself and just because I feel I guess people judge, I reserved myself and it just became a habit

Keny, maybe people aren't judging you at all?   It's ok to be reserved but since you feel this is not being yourself, try thinking about others more.   Try to reach out to someone that needs a friend or needs some help.   Sometimes when we get our eyes off of ourselves, it helps a person to forget themselves and to blossom more.

Most of all though, remember you are a beloved child of God through Christ your Savior.

[lovethelord]

Hi Keny,

Please don't be hard on yourself. Even adults get plagued by fear and anxiety in social situations. When i was a teen I felt my world was based on my friends and what people thought about me. Now, in this current time, I can't imagine how stressful it is for all teens especially with social media and people telling you how you should be acting. I encourage you to spend time reading and praying God's Word when you find yourself alone. If you are going to be alone at times, you might as well spend it on feeding our spiritual self. The Bible is filled with so much encouragement and verses about fear and anxiety.  With the Bible you don't need a self help book.  I commend you on learning English. I know I would have a very difficult time learning a second language in a foreign country.  You are amazing.  You realize you want to be more outgoing, start by just being a friend (taking an interests in others) and be natural. Your true self will come out and you will be happy to engage as you find things in common with others.

[Prycejosh1987]

On 7/26/2019 at 7:08 PM, Keny said:

Before I used to be an outgoing kid. I would always be hanging out with friends and just be crazy me. Now I seem to not be as crazy ( at least not if my friends are not with me) and spend time on my phone by myself. I always felt the urge to go outside was never an insider person. But that was when I was a child. Now that I am a teen, it's been hard to be the person that I truly was before. Anxiety, fear and worry has taken its toll on me. I hate it whenever people say why I spend time alone or why I am quiet. I never think of myself as that. Truly speaking since I came from a different country, living in the USA was a hard start considering that I didn't speak English very well. That is also where it all started. Where I started to just dwell inside not as I used to be before always thinking out loud. Of course as I progressed in my English , I started being a bit open to others and started making conversations with people that I never talked to. Sometimes I do have setbacks and just being alone makes me mad because I want to be open and reveal the person that I used to be. Any advice?

It seems something has got you down, whatever that trigger was needs to be exposed and dealt with. I do not know anyone that has switched persona without negative influence.