Having faith in difficult times

[Seasoned by Grace]

On ‎8‎/‎21‎/‎2019 at 7:39 PM, worriedwife69 said:

My husband I'm not really sure is a believer, if he is he lacks faith and questions who and why God does the things he does, he is very angry with God for 

a lot of different things. He has had a lot of health issues over the last 25 years. Most recent he was diagnosed with colon cancer but it doesn't stop there, he developed something now with his nerves and he's been dealing with a lot of nausea. He is becoming so depressed and angry and just says he's tired of being here. I am very supportive, I love him and I do trust God but I do find myself in constant worry, fear I don't know if it's because they can't figure out some of the things wrong with him and I worry about his state of mind as we keep going to doctor and doctor and the frustration or if it's me lacking trust. It is so hard to remain strong and supportive and encouraging when he is none of that. How do I keep strong and remain positive when he is so negative and filled with anger and puts my belief in God down all the time?

Hi there worriedwife

I have a Christian friend of many years, and she is right where you are like a lot of other Christian woman in the church, that don't have a believing husband. She is an unbelieveable sweetheart to her husband no matter what is going on in their marriage. She is loving, supportive, even if at times he strains the marriage. No matter how badly he talks to her or criticizes her, she won't fight, and returns good for evil always.

After decade after  decade of this, he has started to soften and mellow, and she is actually enjoying their relationship, and he is much kinder to her. This has been a 30 +year marriage.

She has had friends that supported her, and been in women's bible groups that that have supported her much of the time in prayer and encouragement and advise as well as their own stories of what they did in similar situations.

She has learned as she has matured to put everything in God's hands and for she knows that God OWNS the future and knows she wants to lead him to Christ just through her behavior.

She doesn't seem to focus much on her own times of suffering, but continually focuses on him and his needs and is a very submissive wife, being kind to him, while living a strong life for the rest of her family and friends. Through her suffering at times she has used that to strengthen herself, and while being submissive she is definetly no doormat.

She has found a balance and boundaries, and has found her voice to tell him when he hurts her by his verbal mis-treatment, and says it in such kindness but honesty, that he has responded in like kindness more often, and has become more sensitive in how he speaks to her - PRAISE GOD.

I pray this response gives you some things to think about, and God blesses your marriage richly.

In all Christ's blessings and love - Dave

[saved34]

Praying for you and your family. This Christian journey can be unbelievably painful at times. Just keep in mind that God is faithful. Anything that is going on in our life will be used by him for your benefit.

One day you will look back on these troubles and glorify God. He will never fail you, he will always do what is best for you. Be encouraged sister, and stand on his word regardless of circumstances.

Rom 8:18  I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Heb 12:6  because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son."

Heb 12:7  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?

 

[Willa]

Remember to put on the full armor of God. 

Eph 6:10  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

Eph 6:11  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

Eph 6:12  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Eph 6:13  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

Eph 6:14  Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

Eph 6:15  and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.

Eph 6:16  In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;

Eph 6:17  and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

Eph 6:18  praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

The deceiver of the brethren is attacking your husband.  You battle with the truth of God's word, remembering that it is a spiritual enemy that you must thwart and stand strong against, not your husband.  

 2Co 10:3  For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.

 2Co 10:4  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

 2Co 10:5  We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

I always remember the battle plan of 2 Chron. 20.  Start thanking and praising God for his deliverance, now, in faith, knowing God is faithful.  

2Ch 20:15  And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's.

2Ch 20:17  You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you."

2Ch 20:18  Then Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the LORD, worshiping the LORD.

2Ch 20:19  And the Levites, of the Kohathites and the Korahites, stood up to praise the LORD, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice.

2Ch 20:21  And when he had taken counsel with the people, he appointed those who were to sing to the LORD and praise him in holy attire, as they went before the army, and say, "Give thanks to the LORD, for his steadfast love endures forever."

2Ch 20:22  And when they began to sing and praise, the LORD set an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah, so that they were routed.

 

 

PS I would take long walks  3-7 miles and pour out my heart to god during them.  The exercise works off the stress hormones so you don't get sucked under as well.  I went through this when my husband was severely depressed after he had cut off four fingers with a table saw.  He was in danger of losing his job and was in severe pain with exposed nerves.  He was angry with himself as well.    I have given the Scriptures I stood on.  Eventually in rehab he met someone who was worse off than himself and befriended the guy.  It helped to pull him out of himself.  

[worriedwife69]

Thank you everyone for all of you kind words and encouragement. It has been difficult for sure and right now it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel yet as more issues keep coming up. I do talk to him about his doubts about God and who he is and why these things happen and he listens but then it starts all over again but he did watch the move "left behind" last week with me and he seemed interested in it and hasn't really said much in the way of doubting God. I feel like I have let my own fear get in the way where it seems I'm not trusting God but sometimes it is very hard to not let that show. 

[turtletwo]

On 8/23/2019 at 1:25 PM, mlbrokish said:

I have wondered how things are going for you lately, and as I read your post, I can tell that your husband's feelings about God hasn't changed, so for that I'm sorry to hear.  Equally unfortunate is the difficulty with his health and his emotional state by showing signs of depression and anger.

Your support for your husband and faithful prayers are exactly what he needs, even if he doesn't say so.  Refuse to allow doubt and fear to rest in your mind. Satan will tell you that you won't get an answer to those prayers, but destroy those doubts that comes against the knowledge of God’s Word.  Either try to search the bible for answers, or have a friend find encouraging passages based on your husband's and your challenges that will keep your faith strong. 

-- Michelle

@mlbrokish Excellent post. Helpful advice.

[turtletwo]

On 8/21/2019 at 9:39 PM, worriedwife69 said:

I am very supportive, I love him and I do trust God

@worriedwife69 First, I want to commend you on the loving support you have been giving your husband so far. I admire that. I praise God for the example you are to others out there reading this thread as to what a committed spouse is.

Secondly, you did the right thing in reaching out to your brothers and sisters in Christ here. I've been called to be an encourager over the decades I've been saved. And one thing I've learned is that the one who is the edifier needs a support system behind them, too. So please know that I am here for you (as are others at Worthy.)

Thirdly, it is natural to be scared about your husband's situation. He is having serious health conditions and you are burdened for his soul... I see it as a step of faith that you came to us and posted this thread. There is power in prayer and believers joining together. Posting in the prayer forum like Jubilea suggested is a great idea. Standing on the promises of 2 Peter 3:9 and 1 Timothy 2:4 is something I do when praying for unsaved loved ones.

Finally, focusing on your own walk with God (as I'm sure you already are, but ever more so) is vital. James 4:8 promises if we draw near to God He will draw near to us. Perhaps as your husband sees your personal walk with God making strides/standing firm (more built up in faith and peace) it will make an impact on him. I know this must be so hard for you. But remind yourself that "with God all things are possible."

I know how helpless I am in myself, so one of my favorite scriptures is Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Remember that change always takes time. So please keep that in mind when you don't see results of your prayers. Meanwhile, I will be praying for both you and your husband. My heart goes out to you. 

[mlbrokish]

2 hours ago, turtletwo said:

...you did the right thing in reaching out to your brothers and sisters in Christ here. I've been called to be an encourager over the decades I've been saved. And one thing I've learned is that the one who is the edifier needs a support system behind them, too. So please know that I am here for you (as are others at Worthy.)

...I see it as a step of faith that you came to us and posted this thread. There is power in prayer and believers joining together. Posting in the prayer forum like Jubilea suggested is a great idea. Standing on the promises of 2 Peter 3:9 and 1 Timothy 2:4 is something I do when praying for unsaved loved ones.

Finally, focusing on your own walk with God (as I'm sure you already are, but ever more so) is vital. James 4:8 promises if we draw near to God He will draw near to us. Perhaps as your husband sees your personal walk with God making strides/standing firm (more built up in faith and peace) it will make an impact on him. I know this must be so hard for you. But remind yourself that "with God all things are possible."

I know how helpless I am in myself, so one of my favorite scriptures is Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Remember that change always takes time. So please keep that in mind when you don't see results of your prayers. Meanwhile, I will be praying for both you and your husband. My heart goes out to you. 

Beautiful advice, @turtletwo

[frienduff thaylorde]

3 hours ago, turtletwo said:

@worriedwife69 First, I want to commend you on the loving support you have been giving your husband so far. I admire that. I praise God for the example you are to others out there reading this thread as to what a committed spouse is.

Secondly, you did the right thing in reaching out to your brothers and sisters in Christ here. I've been called to be an encourager over the decades I've been saved. And one thing I've learned is that the one who is the edifier needs a support system behind them, too. So please know that I am here for you (as are others at Worthy.)

Thirdly, it is natural to be scared about your husband's situation. He is having serious health conditions and you are burdened for his soul... I see it as a step of faith that you came to us and posted this thread. There is power in prayer and believers joining together. Posting in the prayer forum like Jubilea suggested is a great idea. Standing on the promises of 2 Peter 3:9 and 1 Timothy 2:4 is something I do when praying for unsaved loved ones.

Finally, focusing on your own walk with God (as I'm sure you already are, but ever more so) is vital. James 4:8 promises if we draw near to God He will draw near to us. Perhaps as your husband sees your personal walk with God making strides/standing firm (more built up in faith and peace) it will make an impact on him. I know this must be so hard for you. But remind yourself that "with God all things are possible."

I know how helpless I am in myself, so one of my favorite scriptures is Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Remember that change always takes time. So please keep that in mind when you don't see results of your prayers. Meanwhile, I will be praying for both you and your husband. My heart goes out to you. 

Spot on right my dear loved sister .     And let all prayers be made to the LORD .    You are loved dear sister . 

[worriedwife69]

I appreciate all of the replies and advise. I am trying so hard to focus on God during the times he is so negative. I understand his fear, wondering if the cancer will come back, whether his nerve issues will get better, I totally understand how he must be feeling,  he feels like his life is over that he will live in fear forever. I am trying so hard to trust God, but I have been getting so filled with anxiety and stress that my stomach always is in knots. What am I doing wrong, I pray I give it to God, I read his word but the moment my husband is down and crying and angry I seem so weak. Please pray for us. I did add a prayer request but for some reason I don't see it in the prayer requests so not sure what I did wrong. Thank you

[Seasoned by Grace]

On ‎8‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 8:55 AM, worriedwife69 said:

I appreciate all of the replies and advise. I am trying so hard to focus on God during the times he is so negative. I understand his fear, wondering if the cancer will come back, whether his nerve issues will get better, I totally understand how he must be feeling,  he feels like his life is over that he will live in fear forever. I am trying so hard to trust God, but I have been getting so filled with anxiety and stress that my stomach always is in knots. What am I doing wrong, I pray I give it to God, I read his word but the moment my husband is down and crying and angry I seem so weak. Please pray for us. I did add a prayer request but for some reason I don't see it in the prayer requests so not sure what I did wrong. Thank you

Trials can last decades sometimes, and in those lengthy trials as we see our inability to accomplish anything for change come to light, and we draw closer and closer to God in the pain, fear and anxiety, our relationship with God can become  something of beauty and wonder, as we come out of the fog of being transformed through the "TRIALS OF FIRE" that God will sometimes allow to "STRENGTHEN" and "GROW us, and form us into who we are to become for His purpose and glory.

In my own experience, growth doesn't come through the easy times, but through what James talks about in James 1:2, "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and  let that endurance have it's perfect result , that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in NOTHING."

In my hardest times, as hard as it was, I began PRAISING GOD for my trials and thanking Him for all HE would accomplish in me through the pain and thanked Him for the pain.

Eventually, my trials were healed, the emotional pain went away and all I went through, at the end, God was closer to me and more real than I could ever have hoped for or imagined, and my faith was not only stronger, but there was a new peace and contentment that came only through Christ.

In all Christ's blessings - Dave