I’m hurting so much. I just need a place to talk...

[Jesusispeace]

Im looking for a place to just speak my heart about what’s happening in my life.

I don’t have a soul to speak to personally.

i talk to God and I also know He sees everything but I really feel alone because I don’t have any friends or relatives to just share my pain.

i am really trying to hold on to scripture and Gods promises for my life. I feel like I’ve been in darkness so long and I’ve been alone in it, it’s just incredibly difficult to survive each day and keep my head up.

I am the only one who can soothe myself and I have to carry a load of hurt in my heart and head without releasing it.

For starters, 

my marriage is in a crisis. we fight so much. My husband gets physical. 
He’s depressed and refuses medical attention. He doesn’t believe in God. He places his whole happiness in my hands and thinks I can save him.

i can’t.

i can’t say that to him. He calls me a quitter. 
 

it’s too much too much to be considered someone’s savior!!

or course I pray 

Everyday I stay home and I take care of our 1.5 year old and we have another baby on the way

im worried about how that will go! 
 

im already sleep deprived and on edge trying to keep him happy and not explode. 
 

indont get a break

i Constantly have 100 things to do and I’m tired. I want to so badly just devote more tome to spending with God but I have a list of chores to complete and then constantly check up on my husband because that’s what he wants.

i have an older daughter from my previous marriage who stopped talking to me. I can’t understand why. I’ve been desperately trying to reach out to her and she ignores me.

 

im in so much pain about that! And I can’t really talk about it 

I had a falling out with my parents as well. 

i feel the world just crumbling under my feet.
 

i pray when I can

I’m waiting on God

but I’m exhausted I don’t really know what I want or need

when I go out, I keep to myself. I don’t smile at anyone unless I absolutely have to. I don’t talk to other moms when i take my daughter places.

i need some comfort but I’m avoiding everyone. It’s not like I can share all this with a stranger anyway

i just want to poor my heart out I guess 

 

[Jayne]

I'm listening.  I heard you.  I'm on my way out the door.  When I come back late tonight, I'll listen some more.

[Justin Adams]

Well. I am listening. My time zone says time for bed now, but go ahead and vent. There are a lot of good folk on here that will uphold you. You are never alone. Blessings

[Alive]

I hear you and am praying that the Lord will lighten your load and heart and give you His strength and peace.

for your husband and children, also.

[Aimes]

40 minutes ago, Jesusispeace said:

Im looking for a place to just speak my heart about what’s happening in my life.

I don’t have a soul to speak to personally.

i talk to God and I also know He sees everything but I really feel alone because I don’t have any friends or relatives to just share my pain.

i am really trying to hold on to scripture and Gods promises for my life. I feel like I’ve been in darkness so long and I’ve been alone in it, it’s just incredibly difficult to survive each day and keep my head up.

I am the only one who can soothe myself and I have to carry a load of hurt in my heart and head without releasing it.

For starters, 

my marriage is in a crisis. we fight so much. My husband gets physical. 
He’s depressed and refuses medical attention. He doesn’t believe in God. He places his whole happiness in my hands and thinks I can save him.

i can’t.

i can’t say that to him. He calls me a quitter. 
 

it’s too much too much to be considered someone’s savior!!

or course I pray 

Everyday I stay home and I take care of our 1.5 year old and we have another baby on the way

im worried about how that will go! 
 

im already sleep deprived and on edge trying to keep him happy and not explode. 
 

indont get a break

i Constantly have 100 things to do and I’m tired. I want to so badly just devote more tome to spending with God but I have a list of chores to complete and then constantly check up on my husband because that’s what he wants.

i have an older daughter from my previous marriage who stopped talking to me. I can’t understand why. I’ve been desperately trying to reach out to her and she ignores me.

 

im in so much pain about that! And I can’t really talk about it 

I had a falling out with my parents as well. 

i feel the world just crumbling under my feet.
 

i pray when I can

I’m waiting on God

but I’m exhausted I don’t really know what I want or need

when I go out, I keep to myself. I don’t smile at anyone unless I absolutely have to. I don’t talk to other moms when i take my daughter places.

i need some comfort but I’m avoiding everyone. It’s not like I can share all this with a stranger anyway

i just want to poor my heart out I guess 

 

You're not alone, sweet sister, we're here! We will listen to you vent, we will cry with you, we will encourage you, we will uplift you. 

 

Father, I ask that You would be with my sister. That You would truly be her peace today. Your Word says that Your grace is sufficient for us and Your power is made perfect in our weakness. You bid us to come, to lay down the heavy burdens of this life and to find Yours which is easy and light; that is what our sweet sister is doing today. You promise that though we may find ourselves pressed from every side - we will not be crushed, though perplexed we will not driven to despair, though persecuted - we're not forsaken, struck down but we will NOT be destroyed. Father, there is only so much bending we can do before we break and I ask that You would step into her situation today and that You would move with power and might. That You would minister to her husband, to her children, and to her heart. That today change would come to her household! We believe for You to move on her behalf and we, her sisters and brothers, stand in the gap for her. 

In the precious Name of Jesus I pray, Amen

 

He is near to you my friend. So very near ! We love you, sweet sister. <3

Edited October 8, 2019 by TheAimes

[BeauJangles]

56 minutes ago, Jesusispeace said:

I am the only one who can soothe myself and I have to carry a load of hurt in my heart and head without releasing it.

For starters,

I am truly sorry about how the marriage as it now stands seems to be already in shambles. In reading the post submitted, it looks like your husband needs to grow up. A lot. It's what's causing the rift between you and your oldest daughter for instance. Anyway, how about this for starters?

Matthew 11:28 ²⁸Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  KJV

John 14:27 ²⁷Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  KJV

John 16:33 ³³These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  KJV

Colossians 3:15 ¹⁵And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.  KJV

Numbers 6:24-26 ²⁴The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: ²⁵The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: ²⁶The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.  KJV

Isaiah 26:3 ³Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.  KJV

[Henry_iain]

As others have said, you are not alone. We will pray with you. We are listening. 

More than that, God is with you. He understands. And He will get you through this. 

[Marilyn C]

1 hour ago, Jesusispeace said:

Im looking for a place to just speak my heart about what’s happening in my life.

 

Hi Jesusispeace,

I do feel for you `tossed about and troubled.` It seems we all get to that point in our life and realise that everything is falling apart. It is good that you have realised this, however it seems you are still trying to hold it all together and be there for everyone. If you are not coping then how can you help others. They will just feel your stress and know you aren`t there for them.

I read that you are driven by so many chores to do and then you seem to have to constantly check up on your husband. YOU have taken that all on yourself. BUT I hear you say I have to do all that! I see that if you keep driving yourself then you may collapse or even hurt your unborn child. Is that helping anyone you being driven?

BUT those jobs need to be done. Yes, but not how you are doing them, driving yourself. At the moment YOU need to STOP, write down the 5 most important jobs for today and do those. Then tomorrow do the same. The house will not fall down if it is not cleaned everyday. And the washing also can be done every dew days.  Dishes can be done at night etc. Pace yourself and YOU be the manager of your life, NOT things or other people. 

You don`t have to constantly check on your husband, that is control by him. Don`t bow to that. Be polite and answer with a gentle answer. If he is physically abusive, then go to your parents place or a refuge. Don`t put up with physical abuse, your unborn baby and your small toddler are in danger also if that happens.

We are praying for you. YOU need to take control of your life and not be driven by other things and people.

take care, Marilyn.

 

[shel]

Oh my dear sister I have been where you are and I know painful and exhausting it is. I pray you find somebody local to come along side you and help carry your heavy load. ❤

[Stan]

Jesusispeace....Listen to me.  I know all about your predicaments.  Please understand how precious your believing in Christ is.  You are already in a  very small percentage of the worlds population.  Dwell on that, appreciate that, build on that.....and use that to draw strength from to handle your issues.

Just realize no matter what you have to go through....you will have eternity awaiting with glory unspeakable...just by your accepting Christ and following him.

You could have all the money in the world, the best loving family and friends, and yet many experiencing such without Christ will find an eternity void of what you will be experiencing.  When we have been there 10000 years, we no less days than when we begun.

Believe me....I must follow my same advice.  I doubt you would believe my story, but will never tell it anyway.  Trust me,  I KNOW how trusting in Christ, and reading my Bible in a "show me it's TRUE attitude, has put a most joyous spring in my step with a life that would crush most people.