How do I deal with my previous church/friend/pastor's family

[mlssufan01]

13 hours ago, Isaiah53NIV said:

Given the above information, it does sound odd that mother would "like" a post. One thing to remember is that buttons can be clicked accidentally. Or, if intentional, maybe it was a sign of forgiveness and just being kind. However, forgiving someone does not mean that a person is required to interact with the person he/she has forgiven. Given the new information above, it sounds like it is best for you to move on. One thing that I will add is that if the children are no longer minors, and you contact them against their parents' wishes, this might very well put a strain on their relationship with their parents, and cause them to disobey their parents. So please be considerate of the wishes of the parents. 

I'm almost positive she is intentional about...she has actively commented on my profile before (though just a birthday wish) and liked photos and other comments.  I'm about 95% sure it was intentional.  In regards to the kids, I still don't have any clue who wanted to end the friendship.  The best I could gather is one of the kids wanted to end the friendship...but again, I have no idea.  The problem is I feel like I'm not allowed to interact, but then they feel free to interact in whatever way they please...and to me this is the part that is very confusing.  I HAVE respected their wishes--COMPLETELY!

[mlssufan01]

9 hours ago, Neighbor said:

Seems very clear. Being told to stay away  from someone's kids, should be heeded at all costs, and never ever violated.  

Circumstances do not matter a bit, just stay away, that is the testimony to be giving.

Ok, this is not exactly what they said.
The pastor's exact words were this :If someone doesn't want relationship, respect it, and embrace them when they come back."
And later on, said, if I came to church I would need "give her the space she needs to process."  So those exact words were never used. 

Besides, I stayed away and have completely left them alone...THEY are the ones liking and commenting, NOT me!

Edited December 27, 2019 by mlssufan01

[The_Patriot21]

I say if you've tried to reconcile and they won't answer...that's their problem. Block them on Facebook and move on. If they want to reconcile they can directly contact you.

 

[Neighbor]

I'm not going to engage in nitpicking  a version of who did or said what  when.

Stay away never put ones self in position to be citicised for being alone with someone elses children. Never be alone with the children ever.

It is a huge mistake to return to the vomit of a past incident no matter who barfed it up.

[LadyKay]

21 hours ago, mlssufan01 said:

I believe I've posted before regarding this subject, involving a major falling out with a pastor's family from an AofG church some time ago long story short they broke off their friendship with me and would only allow me back in a limited capacity, despite not knowing if I did anything wrong and their family coming to me and insulting me directly...But I noticed the mother of the family, also a pastor of the church, liked my recent facebook post--basically in the post I basically just shared a thank you to the local reformed baptist church I had been attending over the past 1.5 years that was honestly one of the better churches I've attended. But her liking this bothered me. I have always been open to working things out. While I don't think we necessarily have to go back to the way things were, I also think the Bible calls us to reconcile with fellow believers as long as we're repentant. It just makes it hard when I keep seeing their name pop up but I'm at a loss for what to do or say. If I need to move on, I can't when I see their names on my screen. If they're willing to sort this out, I can't because I've already reached out twice before with no resolution and don't want to come off as harassing. I have no idea how I should regard them...as fellow brothers/sisters in Christ as well as an authority figure or false teacher. I dearly loved them, but this whole situation has completely shattered me left and right and I don't know what to do.
If need be, I can explain the original story through PM.

If you do not wish to have contact with them then unfriend them from you FB friend list or you can block them as well on FB.  Rather you should do this or not I can not say since I do not know the story. But if seeing them on you FB upsets you, then unfriending and or blocking is what you can do. 

[LadyKay]

50 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

It is a huge mistake to return to the vomit of a past incident no matter who barfed it up.

This is the best quote I have ever read on Worthy. 

[Repose]

If it was a false accusation, I can kind of understand being upset. It bothers me a bit when I'm just out for a walk, trying to lose weight and get aerobic exercise, when I come across a woman in front of her house watching her kids play in her yard. She notices a lone male on the sidewalk a block away and glares daggers at him. You keep walking forward, boom, you're a creep. You cross the street trying to assure her you mean no ill will, boom, you're a creep. You just turn around and walk the other way, boom, you're a creep. Nothing you do or say matters cause, to them, you're a creep. I don't care about your little no-neck brats, lady, I'm just walking here. I guess I can't blame parents, though; they're only looking out for their kids and rather reasonably at that, what with creeps being a very real threat. It does still hurt though, getting accused, I get it.

It sounds like you tried to reconcile and they aren't keen on the idea. Leave the past in the past, I say. Block and/or delete them and then wipe your hands of the matter. If they are being unreasonable, then there's no sense in trying to reason with the unreasonable. Likewise, if they are/were being reasonable, then it's unwise and uncool to poke the hornet's nest. So, either way, just moving on seems best, near as I can tell.

[mlssufan01]

34 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

If you do not wish to have contact with them then unfriend them from you FB friend list or you can block them as well on FB.  Rather you should do this or not I can not say since I do not know the story. But if seeing them on you FB upsets you, then unfriending and or blocking is what you can do. 

The thing is, I DO wish to work things out with them.  They just won't have me.  It's like I'm not allowed to contact them but they can do whatever they want, and this is the upsetting part.  I'm happy to talk things over...but at this stage, I've done all I can and I don't want to risk them claiming harassment by me contacting them....they blocked me on insta but then like my fb stuff...it is extremely confusing.  I feel like I'm the bad guy if I just block them and remove them.

[lovethelord]

1 hour ago, mlssufan01 said:

The thing is, I DO wish to work things out with them.  They just won't have me.  It's like I'm not allowed to contact them but they can do whatever they want, and this is the upsetting part. 

M1ssufan01,

I think your emotions are keeping you from seeing the good advice you’ve received from the majority… that is to block /unfriend these people on Facebook. You were told in no uncertain terms to have nothing to do with the whole family. Respect their wishes. Whether the likes/comments on your Facebook was intentional or not doesn’t matter. Take back some control over this situation. If you feel the relationship termination was unjust on their part, you can still forgive them, and they may have forgiven you as well, but just because forgiveness happens doesn’t mean restoration is possible.

[Neighbor]

16 hours ago, DustyRoad said:

With @Neighbor's permission, of course!  

Consider it your own use it anyway  you may desire. ( Just be carful where you step)