Why did I say that and what do I do now?

[Thewhitedove]

As many of you know, I came to Christ after I married my unsaved husband and had 2 kids with him. My husband is still adamantly atheist but is respectful generally. He never objected to me raising the kids in the faith and in fact encouraged me to take them to church (so he could get a break 😀). My husband has played along and basically pretended to believe; not in a hypocritical way but not opposing my views in front of the kids or directing the question to me if my son asked something tricky. I couldn't have asked for more, given the circumstances.

A few days ago, my 6 year old son asked if Daddy loves God. I instantly said 'Daddy doesn't believe in God'. I have no idea why it slipped out. I guess I didn't want to lie but it came out so naturally. My son was extremely shocked and asked my husband who gave a very diplomatic answer, saying that he doesn't believe but believing in God gives a lot of people strength. He has told my son that he doesn't believe that Jesus is the son of God and now my son says that he agrees with Daddy. My son says that God didn't create us as we evolved from monkeys.

I told my son that I have done a lot more research into God than Daddy has, and Jesus is God but I still respect Daddy's right to have his own beliefs even if I disagree.

The evolution thing is difficult for me as its the last part of the Bible that I can't fully get on board with. I told my son that evolution is a theory among others, and even if it is true, it was all orchestrated by God. 

Things were so easy when we were all playing along together and I don't know why I spoiled it but something in me felt that the truth needed to come out. Now I'm worried that my son will be really confused. My boy is super inquisitive and will be asking both our opinions and I don't know how psychologically healthy it is for a child to be subject to such opposing views. On the other hand, maybe this is a good way to help him discover his own faith. 

I just hope that I haven't jeopardised my son's faith. I already felt the pressure of being the only believing parent and spiritual leader in the home.

My daughter is 4 and her depth of faith is thanking Jesus for her bunk beds and praying to have 'a million birthdays a year', so I'm not too worried about her questions yet. 

Any ideas how to proceed? 

Thanks.

[Reinitin]

53 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said:

As many of you know, I came to Christ after I married my unsaved husband and had 2 kids with him. My husband is still adamantly atheist but is respectful generally. He never objected to me raising the kids in the faith and in fact encouraged me to take them to church (so he could get a break 😀). My husband has played along and basically pretended to believe; not in a hypocritical way but not opposing my views in front of the kids or directing the question to me if my son asked something tricky. I couldn't have asked for more, given the circumstances.

A few days ago, my 6 year old son asked if Daddy loves God. I instantly said 'Daddy doesn't believe in God'. I have no idea why it slipped out. I guess I didn't want to lie but it came out so naturally. My son was extremely shocked and asked my husband who gave a very diplomatic answer, saying that he doesn't believe but believing in God gives a lot of people strength. He has told my son that he doesn't believe that Jesus is the son of God and now my son says that he agrees with Daddy. My son says that God didn't create us as we evolved from monkeys.

I told my son that I have done a lot more research into God than Daddy has, and Jesus is God but I still respect Daddy's right to have his own beliefs even if I disagree.

The evolution thing is difficult for me as its the last part of the Bible that I can't fully get on board with. I told my son that evolution is a theory among others, and even if it is true, it was all orchestrated by God. 

Things were so easy when we were all playing along together and I don't know why I spoiled it but something in me felt that the truth needed to come out. Now I'm worried that my son will be really confused. My boy is super inquisitive and will be asking both our opinions and I don't know how psychologically healthy it is for a child to be subject to such opposing views. On the other hand, maybe this is a good way to help him discover his own faith. 

I just hope that I haven't jeopardised my son's faith. I already felt the pressure of being the only believing parent and spiritual leader in the home.

My daughter is 4 and her depth of faith is thanking Jesus for her bunk beds and praying to have 'a million birthdays a year', so I'm not too worried about her questions yet. 

Any ideas how to proceed? 

Thanks.

Pray for them. My dad was a hostile atheist to the point he refused to pay for college if we went to Christian colleges. And refused to attend weddings if we were married in a church. We grew up hearing about the Spanish inquisition and how weak people use God as an excuse. Honestly my mom said she was Christian but her morals and ideas lined up closer to Luciferianism. And she hushed any Christian talk (not to offend my dad).

I heard about Jesus from a neighbor and went to youth rallies with friends. My friends mom used to read the Bible to us when I stayed the night.

My brother rebelled first and went to Christian college without our parents help. He would blast Christian music in His room with the door locked.

I being his baby girl got married in a church againt his threats and protest. He was cracking and proudly walked me down the isle. 

I think he realized his Christian children were not weak but amazingly loving and strong.

Long story short my dad is not hostile towards Christianity anymore and confesses Christ and prays with us and for us now.  Glory to God. 

So pray for them and keep exposing them to the word. Jesus is the one who saves have faith in him. 

He excepted and suported you.

Be a christian and love your family and serve. 

 

 

 

Edited December 19, 2021 by Reinitin

[LearningToLetGo]

52 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said:

Now I'm worried that my son will be really confused.

Today was bound to happen eventually. Be truthful and trust your family to make their own choices.

[other one]

43 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said:

Any ideas how to proceed? 

Keep telling them the truth and show them your relationship with God.

I found this book very helpful even though it was written in the late 1800's.  https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.222681/page/n3/mode/1up?q=genesis

[Thewhitedove]

Thank you everyone! 

[Deborah_]

11 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

As many of you know, I came to Christ after I married my unsaved husband and had 2 kids with him. My husband is still adamantly atheist but is respectful generally. He never objected to me raising the kids in the faith and in fact encouraged me to take them to church (so he could get a break 😀). My husband has played along and basically pretended to believe; not in a hypocritical way but not opposing my views in front of the kids or directing the question to me if my son asked something tricky. I couldn't have asked for more, given the circumstances.

A few days ago, my 6 year old son asked if Daddy loves God. I instantly said 'Daddy doesn't believe in God'. I have no idea why it slipped out. I guess I didn't want to lie but it came out so naturally. My son was extremely shocked and asked my husband who gave a very diplomatic answer, saying that he doesn't believe but believing in God gives a lot of people strength. He has told my son that he doesn't believe that Jesus is the son of God and now my son says that he agrees with Daddy. My son says that God didn't create us as we evolved from monkeys.

I told my son that I have done a lot more research into God than Daddy has, and Jesus is God but I still respect Daddy's right to have his own beliefs even if I disagree.

The evolution thing is difficult for me as its the last part of the Bible that I can't fully get on board with. I told my son that evolution is a theory among others, and even if it is true, it was all orchestrated by God. 

Things were so easy when we were all playing along together and I don't know why I spoiled it but something in me felt that the truth needed to come out. Now I'm worried that my son will be really confused. My boy is super inquisitive and will be asking both our opinions and I don't know how psychologically healthy it is for a child to be subject to such opposing views. On the other hand, maybe this is a good way to help him discover his own faith. 

I just hope that I haven't jeopardised my son's faith. I already felt the pressure of being the only believing parent and spiritual leader in the home.

My daughter is 4 and her depth of faith is thanking Jesus for her bunk beds and praying to have 'a million birthdays a year', so I'm not too worried about her questions yet. 

Any ideas how to proceed? 

Thanks.

Sooner or later the question was bound to be asked (because children ask direct questions) - and what other truthful answer could you give? There was a time when I had to tell my daughter (at a similar age) that her grandparents didn't believe in Jesus.

Quote

How psychologically healthy it is for a child to be subject to such opposing views?

Very healthy. I would go so far as to say that they must be exposed to opposing views! The fact is, that most people (even in America) don't love Jesus - and your children are going to have to learn this so that they can in due course make a genuine choice to follow Jesus for themselves.

The evolution question probably won't come up seriously for a few more years - but when it does, be sure to make them aware that Christians hold various differing views on the subject.

Edited December 20, 2021 by Deborah_

[R. Hartono]

On 12/20/2021 at 3:53 AM, Thewhitedove said:

As many of you know, I came to Christ after I married my unsaved husband and had 2 kids with him. My husband is still adamantly atheist but is respectful generally. He never objected to me raising the kids in the faith and in fact encouraged me to take them to church (so he could get a break 😀). My husband has played along and basically pretended to believe; not in a hypocritical way but not opposing my views in front of the kids or directing the question to me if my son asked something tricky. I couldn't have asked for more, given the circumstances.

A few days ago, my 6 year old son asked if Daddy loves God. I instantly said 'Daddy doesn't believe in God'. I have no idea why it slipped out. I guess I didn't want to lie but it came out so naturally. My son was extremely shocked and asked my husband who gave a very diplomatic answer, saying that he doesn't believe but believing in God gives a lot of people strength. He has told my son that he doesn't believe that Jesus is the son of God and now my son says that he agrees with Daddy. My son says that God didn't create us as we evolved from monkeys.

I told my son that I have done a lot more research into God than Daddy has, and Jesus is God but I still respect Daddy's right to have his own beliefs even if I disagree.

The evolution thing is difficult for me as its the last part of the Bible that I can't fully get on board with. I told my son that evolution is a theory among others, and even if it is true, it was all orchestrated by God. 

Things were so easy when we were all playing along together and I don't know why I spoiled it but something in me felt that the truth needed to come out. Now I'm worried that my son will be really confused. My boy is super inquisitive and will be asking both our opinions and I don't know how psychologically healthy it is for a child to be subject to such opposing views. On the other hand, maybe this is a good way to help him discover his own faith. 

I just hope that I haven't jeopardised my son's faith. I already felt the pressure of being the only believing parent and spiritual leader in the home.

My daughter is 4 and her depth of faith is thanking Jesus for her bunk beds and praying to have 'a million birthdays a year', so I'm not too worried about her questions yet. 

Any ideas how to proceed? 

Thanks.

Just quote the word of God from the Bible. Such as "In the beginning God created heaven and earth" or "God created Adam on the 6th day".

Simple and straight and do not involve in debates in conveying God's message, doesnt matter they believe or not its Holy Spirit duty to open their hearts.

Edited December 24, 2021 by R. Hartono

[Who me]

11 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

Any ideas how to proceed?

A 6 year old boy idolises there Dad, so his copying of his believe is to be expected.

Keep on attending church, push for a full family attendance at family services, the other Christian men there are your allies, if they and your husband become friends you have good grounds for hope.

Talk to other women who also have unbelieving husbands, teenaged sons, fathers, brothers etc you want the church to run mens events that are fun but also intellectually challenging, for some sermons in the month to be apologetics based that again are intellectually challenging.

In this way your husbands beliefs can be challenged and in time changed. 

[AnOrangeCat]

I'm a firm believer that what you say to your child matters less than how you live and what they see of other Christians. They're going to pick up on how seriously a parent takes their faith or doesn't somewhere down the line. Setting a good example and praying for them is probably the best thing you can do. It's planting a seed. Plenty of people turn to God later in life during some hardship that forces them to question their positions. Prayer, the work of the Holy Spirit, and being a Godly parent will probably go further than discussion, especially at this time in his life.

Anyway different people require different approaches. You know your son better than those of us on the internet do, so tailor your approach and be prepared for it to take a while. If he's into science, go from that angle. If he's into history then there's a wealth of historical evidence for Jesus outside the Bible, contrary to atheist claims that there's little to none.

[NickyLouse]

Rest easy in the fact that what you say cannot push your son across the finish line so-to-speak. Tell him the good news every chance you get and always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that he will see that you have. It is hard not to be patient with our children or our spouse because we want so desperately for them to have what we have. Paul wrote that he would wish to be cut off himself for the sake of his people that they might be saved in Romans 9.  Of course, he knew that is not how faith works.