Dead Marriages

[farouk]

9 hours ago, other one said:

What is a dead marriage

If the two participants are alive, then it's hard to say the marriage is Scripturally dead.

[other one]

5 hours ago, farouk said:

If the two participants are alive, then it's hard to say the marriage is Scripturally dead.

It's important to know what Annette considers it.

[R. Hartono]

On 8/4/2023 at 6:15 AM, Annette443pink said:

Should a person stay in a dead marriage?

Both should forgive and respect each others otherwise what is marriage for breeding.

[Know Jah]

Well, Jesus and Paul give Christians words of wisdom for marriages. Jesus at Matthew 19:9 give the only basis that God approves of to dissolve a marriage (not that it has to be dissolved) forgiveness can be extended. Paul at 1 Corinthians 7 allows for separation but with the idea of making up again. 

[FJK]

6 minutes ago, Know Jah said:

Jesus at Matthew 19:9 give the only basis that God approves of to dissolve a marriage  ....

And, unless I misunderstand things, remarriage after divorce is prohibited.

This would make divorce a very solemn undertaking, not something to be given to lightly if there is any possible way to avoid it.

[Retrobyter]

On 8/3/2023 at 7:15 PM, Annette443pink said:

Should a person stay in a dead marriage?

Shabbat shalom, Annette.

Yes! A "dead" marriage is simply one in which the "spunk" has gone out, but love should not be defined by romantic feelings, which can fluctuate with time; "love" is truly defined by the COMMITMENT that each makes to the other! This is something that modern ideas about love and marriage have forgotten. One cannot "fall out of love" any more than one can "fall out of a commitment!" One must BACK out of a contract, and how can one do this when the ETERNAL GOD HIMSELF is the Witness to the contract?!

James Dobson of "Focus on the Family" taught that a couple must WORK at marriage! A couple must keep the fire fresh, "stirring the embers" often. If it seems like the fire has gone out, theycan DECIDE to bring back the fire in their relationship, and the first step is to RELIVE the moments they shared in dating and in the wedding ceremony and the early days of the honeymoon. They can have DATES with each other once again, and learn all over again why they enjoyed and anticipated those dates! They need to dwell in the nostalgia and let those feelings of love and excitement wash over them again! They need to find the reasons that they "fell in love" with each other, and let them be valid again! Rekindle the fire that was there, and ENJOY each other again!

Remember the words spoken in the record of the Creation:

Genesis 2:21-25 (KJV)

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said,

"This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

24 Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE (CLING) unto his wife: and they shall be ONE FLESH. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

[garee]

On 8/16/2023 at 7:40 AM, R. Hartono said:

Both should forgive and respect each others otherwise what is marriage for breeding.

Both should rejoice the wife or husband of their mariage youth. It takes two to be ministry for Christ. Two the number God has spoken .Just like our example the father not seen demonstrating love in mankind seen though the Son of man . Not as I will but you father the one that can raise the dead in their trespass and sin .

It would seem now days many fathers have taken that literally . . absentee fathers leaving the wife or husband unevenly yoked. Hardest to find on fathers day. A parable revealed LOL 

[JimmyB]

7 hours ago, Retrobyter said:

Shabbat shalom, Annette.

Yes! A "dead" marriage is simply one in which the "spunk" has gone out, but love should not be defined by romantic feelings, which can fluctuate with time; "love" is truly defined by the COMMITMENT that each makes to the other! This is something that modern ideas about love and marriage have forgotten. One cannot "fall out of love" any more than one can "fall out of a commitment!" One must BACK out of a contract, and how can one do this when the ETERNAL GOD HIMSELF is the Witness to the contract?!

James Dobson of "Focus on the Family" taught that a couple must WORK at marriage! A couple must keep the fire fresh, "stirring the embers" often. If it seems like the fire has gone out, theycan DECIDE to bring back the fire in their relationship, and the first step is to RELIVE the moments they shared in dating and in the wedding ceremony and the early days of the honeymoon. They can have DATES with each other once again, and learn all over again why they enjoyed and anticipated those dates! They need to dwell in the nostalgia and let those feelings of love and excitement wash over them again! They need to find the reasons that they "fell in love" with each other, and let them be valid again! Rekindle the fire that was there, and ENJOY each other again!

Remember the words spoken in the record of the Creation:

Genesis 2:21-25 (KJV)

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said,

"This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

24 Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE (CLING) unto his wife: and they shall be ONE FLESH. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Marriage should be defined by romantic feelings, otherwise it is just a legal commitment. If it seems like the fire has gone out, they should work to bring back "the fire" in their relationship (which is not a bad analogy).  When a fire is dying then the coals need to be stirred and fresh wood added.  A couple should bring back some of their previous memories and what made them happy, then add new experiences which they both enjoy.  One of the most important things to do right away is start to do things for each other, including sharing household tasks, paying the bills, actively caring for children and pets, etc.  => DO TO THE OTHER PERSON WHAT S/HE WOULD DO FOR YOU. <=

There is a lot of wisdom in these words: "The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:23-24 and Matthew 19:6, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The two people should see themselves as one.  I am 80 and have been married for 54 years, so please pay attention to what I have written.

[JED]

On 8/4/2023 at 12:15 AM, Annette443pink said:

Should a person stay in a dead marriage?

I believe that you should try your absolute hardest to try and make it work. Maybe try counselling or a book like the 5 languages of love. Try dating again.

If you are both unhappy and no longer have the love for each other then I think it is sometimes better to agree to separate. That is once all avenues have been exhausted.

It's no good staying together and being miserable when there could be a better life for you both out there. You'll end up resenting each other and why live in complete unhappiness.

Coming from experience.

 

[RdJ]

On 8/4/2023 at 1:15 AM, Annette443pink said:

Should a person stay in a dead marriage?

Depends. If he wants to kill her then no.

https://www.bethinking.org/bible/bible-scandals/5-marital-abuse

 

Edited November 13, 2023 by Renskedejonge