Domestic Abuse/Violence (Have a Problem? Looking for Advice?)

[Diaste]

On 8/29/2016 at 6:39 PM, marvalusxoxo said:

Nobody has the right to hurt anybody in any way. 

Wow, is that a broad generalization. I mean, if were comparing that statement to the vastness of the universe your statement would be nearly equivalent in breadth. 

So, if my daughter cries because I would not get her a cell phone, I have no right to withhold the cell phone because of her emotional distress?

Give me a break. 

[Diaste]

12 hours ago, PepperS said:

This type of thinking is what is keeping thousands in abusive relationships. This is guilting abuse victims into not taking the steps to get away from potentially life threatening situations.

And I do believe your take is just the opposite, creating an environment where every act is potential abuse and grounds for ending the relationship.

The courts and popular sentiment is slanted toward the woman in most cases. All she has to say is she is afraid and the man is out of the house, personal experience confirms this; so fear, simply perceived or used as a tool, is enough to send the man to a hotel and into court ordered child support, counseling and visitation, with zero physical evidence. A real problem that plagues men and relationships as thousands of us have experienced this.

Throwing the blanket of a broad, undefined term over the millions of relationships is destructive and abuses authority.

Connie Sarff is an example of abuse that should have never happened. The idiots in authority in that MN country should have had the husband locked up as the physical evidence of abuse was overwhelming well before he kidnapped her and held her prisoner. Disgusting failure of those called to serve and protect.

It is not abuse to oppose bad behavior and demand adherence to rules and codes of which both parties are well aware, even firmly and aggressively standing your ground. 

In fact, many women are the emotional abuser from the beginning of the relationship, emasculating the man at every opportunity. Hard to prove and even harder to get others to listen so most men say and do little about this, forming support groups that gain little traction in the courts.

What's wrong with guilt? Are you a born again believer in Jesus and the Father? Did you not perceive the blood guilt of sin? A person should be honest and take the feelings of guilt born of poor behavior that harms others, whether physical or emotional. Women do it all the time, bring up poor behavior in others, but spreading guilt is ok then, yes?

Honestly, if the women in relationships would just practice two simple concepts they would be worshiped like the goddesses they all think they should be. Well, as long as the man is a real man and not some selfish jerk. Women who don't run away at the first sign of a man that's nothing more than an animal looking to breed create their own situation.

Us alpha males who are neither jerks nor weaklings are just what the Proverbs 31 woman is looking for, too bad many women are Eve's.

 

[RarexxRose]

What if a person is experiencing domestic abuse in a spiritual manner?

[Amanda Frances]

On 5/18/2019 at 5:50 PM, RarexxRose said:

What if a person is experiencing domestic abuse in a spiritual manner?

First I want to say I am sorry u  have been hurt like this or at all. It is awful. Please know I will pray for u.

If someone is abusing you spiritually get away is first thing to do. I think you are relating this to congregants and maybe someone of authority at church and not a marriage situation from some of the things I have read that u posted.  

Others will need to be told in order to protect the people from a wolf in sheeps clothing.  U may have done this..I pray someone will listen and take appropriate action.

Praying for u right now and them.

 

[simplejeff]

On 5/18/2019 at 7:50 PM, RarexxRose said:

What if a person is experiencing domestic abuse in a spiritual manner?

Most people are experiencing spiritual abuse from all around - we live in a world / society/ that is against Jesus and abuses everyone who follows Jesus every day.  This is normal daily activity, and to be expected and to be

dealt with (lived with) the same way Jesus and the Apostles and the disciples (Ekklesia) lived with it, as written throughout the New Testament.

i.e.  there is no way to avoid fiery trials and temptations to abandon the faith ,  as jesus says clearly we will suffer persecution for His Sake IF we follow Him;   then Jesus says: Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.   Until we die,  we can be sure the world hates us, as it hates Him.

[Reinitin]

On 7/1/2013 at 8:24 PM, RedMomma said:

Thanks for posting this for theres so many that can use the info.I was in an abusive relationship on 94 and I was so desparate for love not wanting to be alone I put up with it for a year til I nearly lost everything including my life for I was being choked for not cooking fast enough,I didn't know I wasn't in a good relationship then for I never really had one as in a healthy one I thought I was the bad one thinking maybe if I had done this or that then he wouldn't do this again I had to get a lot of counseling to see it wasn't anything I did he was responsible for his actions he was to control himself he didn't love he wanted to control everything for he couldn't control himself Im glad I got out when I did I so thank God for that

Narrssasists are great fabricators everyone should learn to identify them and their tricks. They can even trick trained councelors. I'm so glad you got free.

Edited July 9, 2019 by Reinitin

[Billiards Ball]

Protections include:

* Accountability and counseling and chastity in courtship

* Separating physically from abusers--this does not mean a divorce has to happen, people can be married but not in harm's way

[Paul James]

I have a large list of resources concerning domestic violence on my website 

http://www.personal-communication.org.nz

You can scroll down near the bottom of the page to access them.

I was a victim adviser for the New Zealand Ministry of Justice for 10 years, dealing mainly with DV victims, and my list of resources is the result of my research and experience over that time.

[Prycejosh1987]

Just remember that if you are going through domestic abuse then always speak to someone near to you about it. If you can, and call the numbers given on the forum.

[JohnR7]

On 4/18/2018 at 3:51 PM, Adorable80 said:

I don't understand why high percent of females are victims of domestic violence  than men?? 

Women are just as abusive as men, just in a different way. God made Heaven and Earth, Male and female, Black and White to be united not divided.