True forgiveness

[kwikphilly]

Blessings Purple Dee

    I just wanted to add something ,after reading your response.....................I don't know any details,& certainly do not need to but I am wondering how old your little girl is?It is funny ,children bounce back & do not harbor resentments,carry bitterness or even hang on to hurt as we do,they  forgive so much easier than we do & are just so very Blessed,this is why we can learn so much from them-lo

    Purple Dee,though your daughter has been wounded & hurt by someone ,your love & compassion will help her to heal and by our Lord Stripe those wounds do not have to turn into emotional scars.......have you ever banged your knee real hard,where it actually bled ,bruised,swelled up & hurt for weeks?And then a couple of months later,no scar....before you know it,you may even forget which knee it is!Glory to God!The same way our Lord has made it possible that our bodies can heal that way (because He loves us so much)....He also gave us Moms,to heal our emotional wounds by the love only a mother can give...................... I believe your little girl will be just fine....because you love her

      I am so sorry that some people have not given you the support & encouragement that you should be shown but they need your prayers.......I do not know what your relationship is or was with this person but you need never feel shame in making any decision that you feel is best for you & your child,she is your first priority & responsibility .Just pray for the Lord to direct your path & sometimes He will have us leave relationships & that has nothing to do with forgiveness.I left a marriage,an abusive relationship and never looked back....I have no bitterness or resentment & because of Christ in me,forgiveness came easily.The Lord held my hand every step of the way & every step lead away from the man & the relationship,,,,,,,the only ones approval we must seek is from God,,,,,,,,,

      We don't always FEEL fireworks & spiritual guidance with anything grand & explosive-lol     We have to listen to that STILL,SMALL,VOICE and know what we know by reading His Word & developing an intimate relationship with our Lord,through earnestly seeking Him,prayer,praise,worship and following the footsteps of his Flock,He tells us they will lead..............to our Shepherds tent

      God bless you,yes indeed....the Lord has lead you here to His little Flock

                                                                                                                                                                      With love-in Christ,Kwik

[pawz]

seeing this post, the question put,  has brought to mind a time when, as a fairly new Christian, I decided I must  forgive my mum for the misery of what was my childhood.She suffered from schizophrenia, but I did not have a medical name for what ailed her at that time. Anyway. I phoned her up one evening, feeling a bit 'holy' I suppose because I knew it was what I ought to do as a child of God, and anyway, it was all in the past and it would be nice to move on and build bridges. When I got to the 'I forgive you mum' bit, she said  'what for? I haven't done anything wrong!' I was speechless and devastated - an entire childhood of pain, loneliness and confusion, and she didn't DO anything?! What ever lesson I was to learn from that exchange, I realised very quickly that there is more to 'forgiveness' than saying the words. It should not  depend on the other person acknowledging they had done wrong, it should be something you give, freely, without any requirements. Then you know it really IS unqualified, from-the-heart forgiveness. She is dead now, and I pray that when we meet again, all the bad will be gone, and I will see her as the beautiful person the Lord  intended her to be, and we will embrace and sit and natter and laugh about  things like two teenage friends..

[RustyAngeL]

Forgiving and forgetting are very different. You can forgive but can't forget because everyday you see him or her you remember what he or she has done to you and that is when we need God strength in handling the angry and pain that comes with part that you can forget what he or he did to you and with prayer God will give you the grace to handle your frustration and in time it will be okay just like a hot red iron that get so cold like ice when you give it time to cool off.

Forgiveness has always been about ourselves.  When we forgive we are set free from the very act that has bound your transgressor.  We are to pray for those who hurt us, but in the end it will be us who wins the freedom. 

 

Because He Lives! Rustyangel.

[PurpleDee]

Hey. I am blown away by some of these replies.
I have come to realize that this desire I have for a "big bang" of a moment that drives home the message that I have forgiven is perhaps an expectation of our world. I want fireworks. I want that stamp of approval saying... You did it, you've forgiven him! Congratulations!
Not going to happen is it?

. I phoned her up one evening, feeling a bit 'holy' I suppose because I knew it was what I ought to do as a child of God, and anyway, it was all in the past and it would be nice to move on and build bridges. When I got to the 'I forgive you mum' bit, she said  'what for? I haven't done anything wrong!' I was speechless and devastated - an entire childhood of pain, loneliness and confusion, and she didn't DO anything?!

Made me tears, and made me give thanks that you got this, it isn't about the other person acknowledging it, and if they never do, we still need to forgive. I do see you laughing and enjoying your mom the way The Lord intended

The human side of me wants retribution, wants admission of guilt, wants some judgement now. I know that the only judgement that really matters will come much later, but still...

I think I've forgiven. I have trouble in overthinking everything, really everything, so although there hasn't been any fireworks, I don't wish him bad things. I don't wish home harm, or even jail, just better health mentally and physically.
The never was a Big Bang was there? Guess there won't be one now.
D

[Thomas_K]

I think forgiveness is a choice. Even if the consequence(s) of what happened still is present, you can choose to allow it to continue to hurt you. And you know if you are free from the hurt if you have happiness and peace in spite of it all. This is where God steps in and acts like a magnet, absorbing all the negative so we don't have to bare the weight. We have to decide that we want to let go though and open that door for God to lend a hand.

[Adjefrica]

I think its all in the willingness to forgive.  Go to God.  Let Him know your true feeling.  Say something like this, I hate what he/she did, I do not like the hurt that this person caused, God if it were up to me I would not forgive them, but I know it is not up to me and because you love and forgave me, I give you this whole stinking situation.  I am tired of it all anyway.  If you want me to forgive, I confess, I cannot do it.  I am willing however, to let You do it through me.  Today, I give it  to you and ask that you do what needs to be done.  And, if you want me to love this person, I will be your pawn.  Love and forgive them through me.  Replace these awful feelings with your peace and love.  Thank-you Lord for taking over this problem.  I will no longer worry about it because it belongs to you now.  Thank-you for the release.

The words do not have to be exactly like that.  Just be real with the Lord.  He knows how you feel anyway.  No sense in hiding it.  You have nothing to loose but everything to gain......His peace!

God bless you in this situation!

[Hobbes]

I believe Jesus addressed the necessity to forgive to show our need to rely on Him to help us to forgive by that prayer He had taught His disciples into saying.

 

Matthew 6:⁹ After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. ¹⁰ Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. ¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread.

¹² And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. ¹³ And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

 

It was after teaching this prayer, Jesus had said this:

 

¹⁴ For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

¹⁵ But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

So then the typical flesh response is to see how heavy the burden is on us to forgive or else we will not be forgiven, but then He led me to recall that prayer again when I was having trouble forgiving my enemies.  That part in the prayer, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," is akin to trusting Him to lead our thoughts and our emotions away from the devil trying to rehash past offenses to get a hold on our anger to have wrath & malice in our heart.

 

It is on us to trust Him to do this because of this part in the prayer;  "For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever."  with the "Amen" meaning "So be it".

 

Jesus concluding that prayer for the necessity for us to forgive is indicative for the purpose of that prayer in submitting to God for help when we find ourselves in a need to forgive even our enemies.

[jmlusa2000]

 

Forgiving and forgetting are very different. You can forgive but can't forget because everyday you see him or her you remember what he or she has done to you and that is when we need God strength in handling the angry and pain that comes with part that you can forget what he or he did to you and with prayer God will give you the grace to handle your frustration and in time it will be okay just like a hot red iron that get so cold like ice when you give it time to cool off.

Forgiveness has always been about ourselves.  When we forgive we are set free from the very act that has bound your transgressor.  We are to pray for those who hurt us, but in the end it will be us who wins the freedom. 

 

Because He Lives! Rustyangel

 

I agree here.

[Guest trueTHAT]

forgiveness is a spiritual experience in that you take something dark, out og yourself and turn it into light. but forgiveness must be taught to oneself as to what it specifically does for a person in that you have onto understand its true meaning for the most part; if it were to be benefiting for all parties out there.

 

as fpr the matter of your child,.. it is he or she who u have to teach forgiveness to if they were to be the one wronged at in this mess... and your part is to be cautious towards the person who harmed your child while waging when or if you can trust him or her again under the consideration of your forgiveness...

 

so main factor is you teaching it to the extend of your consideration of what forgiveness means. It is a person experience and each have to learn but as you teah your child you can direct them into a direction hopefully good. The mersure must be right,.. if you teach him to soften to much it might harm in future... if to hard likewise there.. so really contemplatebe about it. This cant be stessed too much..

 

i hope this helped a bit

[Willa]

Forgiveness does begin with a decision. Then it is remembering that it is while we were yet sinners Christ died for us; I remember Him dying for the person who did so much harm, as well. Often I have had to fight through the outrage of more offences and forgive many times.

But I know I have truly forgiven when I come to have a pitying love for the person, the way God does. I reason that without God's love in them they don't know any better. They are selfish and cruel. They are incapable of godliness. They even try to be nice by the world's standards but fall way short. There but for the grace of God, go I.

Blessings,

Willa