Public apology and statement

[Churchmouse]

To really place this behind you, you need to honestly forgive yourself. All the well wishers in the world can forgive you all they want to but you can never give this a full and complete burial  until you honestly forgive yourself and in doing that open up your heart of humility. I've done this on another board and shame and regret come quickly upon me  ans stayed there until I honestly dealt with my reasoning that had brought me too these actions and once I forgave myself everything came together.  i think when this happens God sets back and lets us work it out through so we will have the tools we need to forgive others. God bless you man. take care.

[Running Gator]

1 hour ago, Spock said:

Now, my wife, being a Nole, may not be so quick to forgive and embrace your apology as many of us are so willing. 

 

Oh, and if you are a Hillary Clinton lover, can I take back my forgiveness?  Lol

I will not hold your wife's poor choice against you!  

Do not worry about me being fond of Hillary, nothing could be further from the case. 

[ayin jade]

9 hours ago, Running Gator said:

AJ, I have thought about this since you asked and I really do not have a good answer.  I think it just became part of the "persona" I had made up and when you are living a lie, even on a forum such as this, it poisons all that you do.  

Ok I can understand that. It is all too easy to live behind a persona online. 

So who is the real running gator? 

[MorningGlory]

All I can say, as one of your most vociferous opponents in the political forums, is that I forgive you and think it took a lot of courage to come out and set the record straight.  Just to be honest though, there IS one member here who was pretty sure you were really Running Gator quite a while back.  Of no consequence now, R.G., go forward and be your true self and a productive member of Worthy.  Welcome back! 

[Running Gator]

1 hour ago, ayin jade said:

Ok I can understand that. It is all too easy to live behind a persona online. 

So who is the real running gator? 

Who is the real running gator?

He is a retired Marine that is now a employee of the Fed Govt who is married to the same woman for 24 years with 2 children, one 22 and one 15.  He once was a diehard Republican that is now a Social libertarian and a fiscal conservative.  I am not a fan of the current president, nor was I a fan of the one before that and the one before that. 

I have been a Christian since the 6th grade and currently do not attend a traditional church but meet with a group of varying size on a semi-regular basis.

My name comes from what were my two favorite things, running and the Florida Gators.  I have since I made this name moved from running to golf but have never stopped being a Gator.

[LadyKay]

I'm not sure what to think about all of this. I sided with Oots on like everything. I have for the past week been lurking in the shadows as I have not wanted to talk to anyone here due to some issues I have been having.  I still would be lurking had I not seen this post. Please tell me you were being truthful about playing SWTOR ! Cause that would just break my heart. ( lots of stuff in my head right now)

[missmuffet]

7 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

I'm not sure what to think about all of this. I sided with Oots on like everything. I have for the past week been lurking in the shadows as I have not wanted to talk to anyone here due to some issues I have been having.  I still would be lurking had I not seen this post. Please tell me you were being truthful about playing SWTOR ! Cause that would just break my heart. ( lots of stuff in my head right now)

You can always talk to my Lady. I liked your posts

[Running Gator]

1 hour ago, LadyKay said:

I'm not sure what to think about all of this. I sided with Oots on like everything. I have for the past week been lurking in the shadows as I have not wanted to talk to anyone here due to some issues I have been having.  I still would be lurking had I not seen this post. Please tell me you were being truthful about playing SWTOR ! Cause that would just break my heart. ( lots of stuff in my head right now)

I am deeply sorry to have caused this confusion in you, that was never my intent. 

I was very truthful about SWTOR, I do play it and cannot wait for the expansion to drop on Tuesday.   I do have one my characters up to Command Level 105!  I do most of my leveling via Flashpoints as I cannot stand PVP for the most part.  In fact I am heading there after checking the forum.  I almost have max reputation on Ilum and hope to have it by the end of this event.

The things we sided on are my true feelings, I was not making up my political views, just the back story.

Again, I do apologize for my previous actions. 

[Churchmouse]

15 hours ago, Running Gator said:

AJ, I have thought about this since you asked and I really do not have a good answer.  I think it just became part of the "persona" I had made up and when you are living a lie, even on a forum such as this, it poisons all that you do.  

Most people who start a sock puppet begin one when they want to stay at a place, but think they have irrevocable damaged their primary account or think they have misrepresented their true self before. It is a way of making a clean slot, but the main thing people don't understand is each and every one of us has a distinct posting style and many times, those who are very familiar with their original persona will begin seeing similarities in the styles and will suspect the person.

I tried that once, a long time ago, when I started with these boards, but I couldn't continue, because it bothered me so. I had damaged the account I originally appeared on the site and then begain another account to try and use the knowledge I had gathered of the rest of the posters to form a personality that I thought was more appealing to them. At that time I craved acceptance and I ended up alianating more people than I had with my orginal account, because I turned into someone whoi posted to get likes and ended up not liking what I was doing to myself.

I ended up leaving the site altogether and swore away from all these sites  because I was blaming them, instead of blaming myself for acting fraudulently.  After a good long while I gave up the pity party and forced myself to take responsibility for my own actions.  I still carried around this blackness until it dawned on me that no one who was on that site knew me and none of them could forgive me in a manner that would fix the situation, If I didn't forgive myself. I did and grew up a little that day. I found out that when you grow up, you can grow out and expand your horizons further than you could ever imagine. I had that ability, because with all that pity parting, I forced God out of my life. He was standing right outside my self centered little shell I was wallowing in and he was the first to come back into my life, when I started thinking beyond myself and into this great big world that he has given us to abide in.

I don't care what you call yourself. I call you friend and am enriched by that fact. Thank you and God bless.

[enoob57]

On ‎4‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 7:25 PM, Running Gator said:

To the members of the forum.

For the last few months I have been living a lie on this forum, being someone that I was not.  Through a series of events that show the amazing workings of Lord and Savior, things took place and I have spoken with the mods of the board and after some resistance from me, I have admitted that I am the poster once known and Running Gator and was using the name Out of the Shadows.  

Through what can only be described as an amazing show of Christian love and understand they have allowed me to come clean and remain a member of the board.  For that I am deeply grateful.  I have learned a valuable lesson, one that we all know deep down inside but sometime need a humbling reminder.  That lesson is that one lie leads to another which leads to another and it become a snowball rolling out of control. 

I would like to apologize first for misleading people and also for my actions under the guise of OOTS.  I said many mean and hurtful things that were not warranted and I do those whom I did this to will find it in their hearts to forgive me.   I am not proud of my actions nor the way that I was treating people.  I let things get the better or me and there is nobody to blame but myself.

I make this public pledge also, that I will from this point on do my very best not to be the person that I was on this forum but to be a supportive and understanding member.  While my political views have not changed, I will no longer be an antagonist while expressing them.   I cannot undo the last few months, I can only move forward and hope and pray that my actions will show that this is more than just a change of my name, but also a change of my heart.

For those that were so supportive of me even when I was being a jerk, thank you so very much.  To those I was a jerk to, I sincerely apologize. 

In Christ's Love,

Jeff 

It is good to have the cleanness of confessed sins... death to that which we have began in and life to that which by The Scripture we are becoming...