Adultery- Should You tell your wife or husband, before ask God for forgiveness?

[GandalfTheWise]

I think one of our first steps in any such situation is take things to God.  Then He can give guidance as to what to do in terms of reconciliation, confession, and restitution.  Sometimes the other person may need some space and reconciliation may take some time.  I don't think we are to put our relationship with God on hold.

For example, let's take something like child abuse.  Say some parent did this for years and ended up estranged from their child.  The parent becomes a Christian years later.  In my opinion, such a person should seriously seek out God's guidance for what to do to apologize (and in a way that puts no pressure on the child).  In such a situation, the child might not want to interact with the parent for months or years or ever.  Reconciliation might not be possible for a long time.  I doubt that God's intent is that the parent cannot approach God until reconciliation is complete.

 

[missmuffet]

9 hours ago, Ogner said:

So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift. 
(Mt.5:23,24)

For example, a wife has committed adultery. Should a wife tell her husband about adultery, before ask God for forgiveness?

If not, You think He'll forgive?

 

She should always ask God for forgiveness before telling her husband. God always comes first. God will always forgive. But God can not be mocked. A person can not commit this kind of sin and go out and do it again.

[Wayne222]

Sometimes it makes it worse to tell someone.  Use wisdom. 

[Reinitin]

12 hours ago, Ogner said:

So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift. 
(Mt.5:23,24)

For example, a wife has committed adultery. Should a wife tell her husband about adultery, before ask God for forgiveness?

If not, You think He'll forgive?

 

I think reading confessing adultry to a spouse into this scriptute is not good. it says reconsile not drive a stake through the heart of the one you vowed to be faithful to and in selfishness and lust betrayed.

When adulters take the guilt and shame and pain of their own sin and put it all on the one they sinned against who is bound by God to forgive the tresspass or not have their trasspasses forgiven and bound to turn the other cheek. They are being  cowards and are still pleasuring themself at the expense of their innocent spouse to clear there own perverted conscious. They have no love they should be divorced. what if your stupidity and carnality hurts them so bad they can't forgive you for years and then they have to fight a bitter root trying to grow in them alk because there bigest mistake was to love you?

Where does it say dump the pain and your burden of lustful sin on your spouse?

You can not tell me the Holy Spirit lets a married person jump in bed with out warning after warning after warning. If you weren't warned by God then refer to scripture for salvation or a seered consious.

God hates divorce but he gave a certificate of divorce to israel because they did not repent of their adultry (stop doing it).

He gave moses the law that allows divorce for peace. You think confessing your adultry and holding the obligation to forgive over the head of someone you betrayed in the most painfull of way's is peace?

You take the weight of your sin and you stand before a Holy God with your tears and your own heart broken over your own sin till he cleanses you and clears your consious and you repent and reconsile by walking in faithfulness and love towards your spouse.

Confess your sin to the elders of your church and have them pray for your adultrous heart to be healed. 

You dont put your burden of your sin on the one you promised to love, honor and cherish for them to be broken by your sin and give satan an oppurtunity at there flesh and cause them to sin against God in their pain and anger. Holy Cow talk about not taking any responsibility before God for your own wickedness.

Edited August 28, 2017 by Reinitin

[Reinitin]

7 hours ago, Ogner said:

But Jesus say: First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift. 

You say: don't care about your brother. God can give dispensations for anything... 

Who knows better than Jesus? You? 

Your mis quoting Jesus and pulling his words out of context and accusing a brother. 

[Neighbor]

1 hour ago, Reinitin said:

I think reading confessing adultry to a spouse into this scriptute is not good. it says reconsile not drive a stake through the heart of the one you vowed to be faithful to and in selfishness and lust betrayed.

When adulters take the guilt and shame and pain of their own sin and put it all on the one they sinned against who is bound by God to forgive the tresspass or not have their trasspasses forgiven and bound to turn the other cheek. They are being  cowards and are still pleasuring themself at the expense of their innocent spouse to clear there own perverted conscious. They have no love they should be divorced. what if your stupidity and carnality hurts them so bad they can't forgive you for years and then they have to fight a bitter root trying to grow in them alk because there bigest mistake was to love you?

Where does it say dump the pain and your burden of lustful sin on your spouse?

God hates divorce but he gave a certificate of divorce to israel because they did not repent of their adultry (stop doing it). He gave moses the law that allows divorce for peace. You think confessing your adultry and holding the obligation to forgive over the head of soneone you betrayed in the most painfull of way's is peace?

You take the weight of your sin and you stand before a Holy God with your tears and your own heart broken over your own sin till he cleanses you and clears your consious and you repent and reconsile by walking in faithfulness and love towards your spouse.

Confess your sin to the elders of your church and have them pray for your adultrous heart to be healed. 

You dont put your burden of your sin on the one you promised to love, honor and cherish for them to be broken by your sin and give satan an oppurtunity at there flesh and cause them to sin against God in their pain and anger. Holy Cow talk about not taking any responsibility before God for your own wickedness.

Amen amen amen! The above is as near a perfect post as we will ever see.

[hmbld]

Reconciliation, restoration, not seeking to relieve your guilty conscience by hurting others. Intent of the heart. 

[Reinitin]

13 minutes ago, hmbld said:

Reconciliation, restoration, not seeking to relieve your guilty conscience by hurting others. Intent of the heart. 

well alot of times in Gods time the truth is revealed and the truely repentent adulter has shown their love for God and love of their spouse in repentance and the Lord has prepared forgivness and reconsiliation and restoration and a foundation of trust for truth.

But, that is the Lords to walk us through. Not some coward trying to dump their burden of sin and expect righteoussness from the one they just dumped on with their selfish motives to clear their owm conscious.

Edited August 28, 2017 by Reinitin

[frienduff thaylorde]

5 minutes ago, Reinitin said:

well alot of times in Gods time the truth is revealed and the truely repentent adulter has shown their love for God and love of their spouse in repentance and the Lord has prepared forgivness and reconsiliation and restoration and a foundation of trust for truth.

But, that is the Lords to walk us through. Not some coward trying to dump their burden of sin and expect righteoussness from the one they just dumped on with their selfish motives to clear their owm conscious.

Sister I  love you.    you praise the LORD .  manipulation and control as you well said , is evil.   rebuking is not , but what you just said , if they try that number....that is evil.

[frienduff thaylorde]

3 hours ago, missmuffet said:

She should always ask God for forgiveness before telling her husband. God always comes first. God will always forgive. But God can not be mocked. A person can not commit this kind of sin and go out and do it again.

Sister correct you are .  this sin against the spouse is so serious.  it may not be the only reason for separation.  BUT it is the only reason one can leave and remarry.

so this should not be done.   and God is not mocked.   death or fornication only............are justiable for remarriage alone.  beating or etc

the spouse can leave.  but not remarry.    but this is so bad they could and it wont be seen as adultery to remarry in the eyes of the Lord.

I think many forget what paul said , that echoced what JESUS had said.  paul knew what jesus meant.   Its why he said , if the wife marry another , WHILE her first husband lives

she shall be called an adutlerress.   don't matter if she cries and begs forgivness..........lest she cease that new marriage of adultery.............she is an adulteress so long

as that husband lives.  IT goes for husbands too. as JESUS made clear.  SO yeah...........to cheat on a spouse is very serious . and GOD wont be mocked.