Unequally joked?

[ohso]

I'm in a relationship with a man for many years who is an atheist. I am new in my Christian faith.

I am torn about this and I've been praying about this, but your help would really be appreciated too, since I'm new in it all.

I know they are parts in the Bible that says couples should not be Unequally joked. Does that mean we should break up? I don't want that. I want to do what the God wants me to do, but what is that?

I also know there are parts that says to love one another unconditionally. So, I am supposed to pray for him to come to Jesus eventually too? I am confused what should we do? Should I stay with him no matter what?

 

We truly love each other and have a nice relationship. It is just that this huge difference in what we believe in is a huge burden to me. We used to be on the same boat about that, but now we are not. I've changed, and he didn't.

 

Faith is the most important part of my life now. I do not get the support from him on that at all. He doesn't want to listen to me when I mention Bible or anything related with faith. He makes fun of it in a mean way, so I change the subject because it hurts me when he is like that. It feels then like we are under completely different spirits. So, faith has become a taboo as I can't find another way to deal with it.

I am enduring this, because he has a right to think what he wants, I can't convert him.

I have no clue what do to about this situation. Any advice please?

 

[other one]

if you are not married go find someone else.

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, ohso said:

I'm in a relationship with a man for many years who is an atheist. I am new in my Christian faith.

I am torn about this and I've been praying about this, but your help would really be appreciated too, since I'm new in it all.

I know they are parts in the Bible that says couples should not be Unequally joked. Does that mean we should break up? I don't want that. I want to do what the God wants me to do, but what is that?

I also know there are parts that says to love one another unconditionally. So, I am supposed to pray for him to come to Jesus eventually too? I am confused what should we do? Should I stay with him no matter what?

 

We truly love each other and have a nice relationship. It is just that this huge difference in what we believe in is a huge burden to me. We used to be on the same boat about that, but now we are not. I've changed, and he didn't.

 

Faith is the most important part of my life now. I do not get the support from him on that at all. He doesn't want to listen to me when I mention Bible or anything related with faith. He makes fun of it in a mean way, so I change the subject because it hurts me when he is like that. It feels then like we are under completely different spirits. So, faith has become a taboo as I can't find another way to deal with it.

I am enduring this, because he has a right to think what he wants, I can't convert him.

I have no clue what do to about this situation. Any advice please?

 

A born again Christian would not think twice about not being unevenly yoked. We want to be obedient to God. Do what His word tells us to do. Otherwise we are mocking God. 

[Jayne]

The issue is that you and this man already love each other and have, as you say, for years.  I won't make light of that.

I'm sure that hurts very badly when you two are stressed out over your new faith.  You are "yoked" with this man already.  That's why this is hard.

The idea of a yoke is that of a wooden device placed over the necks of  two cows, bulls, ox, or mules.  It kept the two animals pulling something - a cart or plow - at the same place.  If they put two animals not of equal strength in the yoke, then the stronger animal would pull harder and pulling the weaker animal along with it and ended up going in circles and not a straight line.

In a sense here, you are the weaker one because your faith is new and his belief systems are staunch because he's had them for years.

In another sense, he is the weaker one because he has no faith in Christ.

Generally speaking, when Christians get into relationships with non-Christians, the non-Christian pulls the Christian hard in the wrong direction.  Intentionally or not.  That's generally what happens.  I've seen it countless times.

Maybe this man will be saved!  That's what you should pray for.  That's what I am praying for.

In the mean time, in all honesty from my heart, you should separate from him and explain why.  Don't allow any comforts in this relationship to override your spiritual growth.

 

 

 

[ravindran]

This might be foreign to western culture. But Bible talks about unequally yoked w.r.t marriage. And not relationship or living together. Just seeing each other or living together is not counted as anything in Bible. If you both are not married, then you are not a couple in God's eyes. You can very well leave him and pray for God to show guidance.  If you are already married, then Bible does not say that you should leave your spouse just because he/she is not a believer. It only talks about "before marriage" situation

[Jayne]

On 4/5/2019 at 1:58 PM, ravindran said:

This might be foreign to western culture. But Bible talks about unequally yoked w.r.t marriage. And not relationship or living together. Just seeing each other or living together is not counted as anything in Bible. If you both are not married, then you are not a couple in God's eyes. You can very well leave him and pray for God to show guidance.  If you are already married, then Bible does not say that you should leave your spouse just because he/she is not a believer. It only talks about "before marriage" situation

Yes, I don't think I distinguished this in my post because I assumed they were not married by the statement "in a relationship".

To the OP:  If you are married, the Bible tells what a Christian woman is to do to draw her unbelieving husband to the LORD.  That is to demonstrate the Christian faith in her actions.  

Edited April 6, 2019 by Jayne

[BeauJangles]

On 4/5/2019 at 9:49 AM, ohso said:

I also know there are parts that says to love one another unconditionally. So, I am supposed to pray for him to come to Jesus eventually too? I am confused what should we do? Should I stay with him no matter what?

We truly love each other and have a nice relationship. It is just that this huge difference in what we believe in is a huge burden to me. We used to be on the same boat about that, but now we are not. I've changed, and he didn't.

Faith is the most important part of my life now. I do not get the support from him on that at all. He doesn't want to listen to me when I mention Bible or anything related with faith. He makes fun of it in a mean way, so I change the subject because it hurts me when he is like that. It feels then like we are under completely different spirits. So, faith has become a taboo as I can't find another way to deal with it.

I am enduring this, because he has a right to think what he wants, I can't convert him.

 

Dear sister, yes by all means, do pray for him to come to Christ as you have. But seek the Lord whether you should stay with him, since you aren't married yet. Seems like a lot of negativity on his side right now, because he may be feeling convicted. No, you can not convert him. You are God's example, and He will do the work. Praying for you. God bless. 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles

[Willa]

You are living in fornication and there won't be any fornicators in heaven.  That mean you should repent and stop living with him as soon as possible.  The conditions of your getting back together with him are that he be saved and then legally marry you.

So you will be praying for him intensely that God convert him.  Don't try to do this yourself but do let him know you still love him.  You just can't live with him or have sex with him because he hates your God.  Also pray that God send the person to you if He wants you to marry, whether it by that your friend should he be born again, or another man, or whether God wants you to remain single and serve Him.  

 Psa 119:132

Look upon me and be merciful to me,
As Your custom is toward those who love Your name.

 Psa 119:133

Direct my steps by Your word,
And let no iniquity have dominion over me.

 Psa 119:134

Redeem me from the oppression of man,
That I may keep Your precepts.

 Psa 119:135

Make Your face shine upon Your servant,
And teach me Your statutes.

[Heybro]

On 4/6/2019 at 2:58 AM, ravindran said:

This might be foreign to western culture. But Bible talks about unequally yoked w.r.t marriage. And not relationship or living together. Just seeing each other or living together is not counted as anything in Bible. If you both are not married, then you are not a couple in God's eyes. You can very well leave him and pray for God to show guidance.  If you are already married, then Bible does not say that you should leave your spouse just because he/she is not a believer. It only talks about "before marriage" situation

Dear Ravindran, I do beg to differ to you on this matter. We cannot "cloak" what the Word of God says in these matters, for in them is the "power of life and death." By that I  Mean, that to the recipient, they are looking for answers to their question/s, and we need to be honest and truthful in all of it, even being hurtful( in a loving way). In other cultures  people don't necessarily have a "ceremony" and just move in with each other, even in our culture these things happen. In God's eyes, He sees them as married, they have committed themselves to each other. In the matter of this post, I would tend to agree with Jayne's answer along with Willa and Beaujangles, we should not be sending "mixed messages" to those who are genuinely seeking answers.

To ohso, please take the advice given to you from these Godly, loving people, who only want to help you make good, right choices, hard though it will be, but for your betterment, looking forward, to Eternity, God IS Faithful, He will surely bring you through, God bless, and by the way, welcome to WCF.

[Michael37]

On ‎4‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 5:49 AM, ohso said:

couples should not be Unequally joked.

Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear, ohso. What a plight to be in. If you are unequally joked it is time for you both to synchronise your senses of humour so that the scores are evened . Why should one of you get more laughs than the other? However any crude or coarse joking is to be avoided. Also stop any fornicating, - no joking about that one. You cannot remain in a de facto relationship and should not marry an unbeliever because neither of these are in the will of God.

Eph 5:1-11
(1)  Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.
(2)  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
(3)  But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;
(4)  neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
(5)  For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
(6)  Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
(7)  Therefore do not be partakers with them.
(8)  For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
(9)  (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),
(10)  finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.
(11)  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.
 

BTW osho, if you haven't already realised, the word is "yoked", not "joked".

2Co 6:14
(14)  Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?