was I wrong? (pornographic cigarette lighter)

[Tzephanyahu]

11 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said:

Thank you. I completely agree. I am going to see how my husband wants me to proceed but am totally willing to say sorry and replace it.

Brilliant news!  Your good decision here eclipses the former bad one.   I think that this would not only please the Father but also ease your conscience greatly.   Good choice whitedove!

Love & Shalom

[Thewhitedove]

My husband told his friend and they both laughed about it. Apparently his friend didnt want it back as even he thought it was a bit creepy himself! I decided to read the mood of the situation and not escalate things with a big apology. I have one on standby in case matters change but I think its resolved now. A good lesson for me though!!

[Thewhitedove]

Thanks! 

[Thewhitedove]

33 minutes ago, Tzephanyahu said:

Brilliant news!  Your good decision here eclipses the former bad one.   I think that this would not only please the Father but also ease your conscience greatly.   Good choice whitedove!

Love & Shalom

 

1 hour ago, enoob57 said:

nakedness is wrong even though it is widely, overwhelmingly so, accepted... You have a right to a Godly hedge and God will honor you with His presence there!

 

1 hour ago, BeauJangles said:

I dunno, maybe. If your husband is an occasional smoker as you've said, a handy multi-pac of Bic lighters can be bought for a couple of bucks, and he can keep those in the house. No need for something like that if you find it offensive, and I think your husband should also understand that. 

 

1 hour ago, Billiards Ball said:

Personally, for me, not the Lord, if you knew it was a loan item, you overstepped, our job is not to burn an unbeliever's magic books but our own, as in Acts.

Next time, you could put the lighter in a box or brown bag and ask your husband to not have it out with company/family. You could discuss his creepy friend with him--but start with an apology IMHO for tossing the lighter!

Thanks everyone! 

[Jayne]

I'm amazed at the mixed opinions here.  Truly.  But, it takes all kinds I suppose.

The object should have never been in your home to start with.  You did what you thought was best and right.  You should also have replaced it, in my opinion, if you were going to destroy it.  Once in my home, I would have destroyed it and replaced it.  I would not have given a pornographic anything back to my husband or to his friend for someone else to see.

Some will disagree, but I've seen what pornography - even in what people call "soft" form does to people.  I taught school for many years and saw the havoc it reeked in families and in the lives of young men in my classes. I've seen it ruin people.

The pornography on the lighter was far worse than the peeling of the pornographic photo off of the lighter if one has to weigh the two.

I still think you should replace it.  Give the new one to your husband to give to his friend.  No gushing apology.  Maybe a small one, but I would replace it.

And then move on continuing in prayer for your husband and his friend.  I will pray for them, too.

 

 

Edited July 11, 2019 by Jayne

[missmuffet]

5 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

My husband is a non believer and occasionally smokes when he drinks alcohol. He goes to a bar some nights with his friend, who I actually find quite creepy.

A few weeks ago, the friemd had lent my husband a cigarette lighter with the photo of a naked woman printed on it. Last night my husband was out and I came across the lighter. I dont know what took over me, but I peeled off the image of the naked woman (well, she looked about age 20 max) and put it in the bin. 

This morning my husband saw what i had done and said that he had to give the lighter back to the friend and that I shouldn't have done that as it wasn't mine to destroy.  I just didnt want it in my house and I felt repulsed at the thought of who had manipulated or exploited the girl in the pic To pose for that photo.

Was I wrong?  Should I say sorry to the friend? At the time I wasnt really sure if my husband was supposed to give it back though at the time, I didnt care.

Help!

Thanks

If your unbelieving husband is going to bring that kind of trash into your home he will have to deal with the consequences. 

[BeauJangles]

53 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

If your unbelieving husband is going to bring that kind of trash into your home he will have to deal with the consequences. 

That's right. Lower the boom, I say!  LOL

Edited July 11, 2019 by BeauJangles

[johnthebaptist]

On 7/11/2019 at 5:26 AM, Thewhitedove said:

My husband is a non believer and occasionally smokes when he drinks alcohol. He goes to a bar some nights with his friend, who I actually find quite creepy.

A few weeks ago, the friemd had lent my husband a cigarette lighter with the photo of a naked woman printed on it. Last night my husband was out and I came across the lighter. I dont know what took over me, but I peeled off the image of the naked woman (well, she looked about age 20 max) and put it in the bin. 

This morning my husband saw what i had done and said that he had to give the lighter back to the friend and that I shouldn't have done that as it wasn't mine to destroy.  I just didnt want it in my house and I felt repulsed at the thought of who had manipulated or exploited the girl in the pic To pose for that photo.

Was I wrong?  Should I say sorry to the friend? At the time I wasnt really sure if my husband was supposed to give it back though at the time, I didnt care.

Help!

Thanks

You did nothing wrong. You shouldn't have been exposed to that. 

[AnOrangeCat]

Sure, you might have overstepped just a bit, but you're an equal partner with your husband. If you don't want stuff like that around your house then say so. Your faith is a fixture in both of your lives.

[Billiards Ball]

I'm surprised that everyone here felt it was appropriate to "witness" to the friend by destroying his property, unasked, and to create a marriage rift by acting childish toward a spouse's friend.