Not walking with the Lord

[diane32]

I gave my life to God 11 years ago this August, praise God for His mercy! I have fallen away quite a few times but always came back stronger in the Lord and in the power of His might! Today I am not walking with the Lord as I should be and just wondered if anyone here ever fell away from God for a long time and then turned back? And did other believers judge you or did they love you? Did your brothers and sisters help draw you back or did they push you away further? 

[Justin Adams]

That is a very poignant question since deception is rarely seen for what it is by the subject it influences.

One can easily find oneself 'far away' and the implication of that feeling is that God is ALSO far away.

He has patience with His Children and is a far better Father than we can imagine. It is our actions that 'position' ourselves and sometimes that can seem far far away from the Lord.

The ones that think they are home and dry are also at risk since there is nothing quite so influential as someone that thinks they 'got it made'.  Generally speaking, in my experience, other believers have been most harmful to me. Thus, even though they 'speak truth' it is most likely NOT in love and only serves to make you feel more distant.

The adversary and his minions have a field day with Christians that are drifting away and they will try to convince you of two things: 1) you are OK really because God loves you anyway, or 2) you are a looser and God would never accept you even if you turned back to Him.

The simple truth is that most believers do not understand the reason for their salvation; a) what God decided to do from the beginning; b) that God has no 'plan b' and He will continue His current plan until all is accomplished; c) they have been chosen by the Lord to be members of His family as rulers and judges of the world to come. d) they are sons and daughter of The Most High.

[Debp]

56 minutes ago, diane32 said:

I gave my life to God 11 years ago this August, praise God for His mercy! I have fallen away quite a few times but always came back stronger in the Lord and in the power of His might! Today I am not walking with the Lord as I should be and just wondered if anyone here ever fell away from God for a long time and then turned back? And did other believers judge you or did they love you? Did your brothers and sisters help draw you back or did they push you away further? 

I hope your fellow Christians are being loving and kind to you.   It sounds like you are desiring a closer walk with Jesus again. 

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom @diane32

Yes, I did.  Through my own selfish and foolish desires and because of my lack of discipline in staying in the Word.  It may be more extreme than what you are going through, but hopefully the below brief testimony will help:

I unintentionally walked away from Yahweh for a long time (perhaps 7 years?).  Partly out of shame and partly out of immersing myself in worldly studies – principally psychology.  I still stuck by Scriptural standards, but halfheartedly and without joy.  Living like a Christian felt more like work and I didn’t really believe that Yahweh loved ME individually, but more like I was part of the Christian crowd – That He loved me in general, but I was kinda at the back and not really in His eye-line.  Does that make sense?

Depression came on strongly and I isolated myself from friends, family and eventually even work.  I went on medication for the depression, drank a lot, studied various disciplines of psychology more and more for an answer.  But all I found was more hopelessness.

As time went on, even with the medication and “mindfulness meditation”, I still struggled with life and started to greatly fear the end of days.  What would await me?  What would the persecution be like for me?  Will I be tortured?  What about when I meet the Lord Jesus?  Won’t He be angry with me and say “I never knew you”?

At this time, I slowly walked back to the Lord.  I didn’t know how to do it but I thought that I just needed to get back to wherever He is.  I needed to search Him out.  If I was so ready to end my life, why not instead use it to search Him out?  

So I decided to pray, each morning, the following prayer.  “Yahweh, I love you.  Please give me wisdom, in the name of the Lord Yahushua (Jesus)”.  That’s it.  It’s all I could manage! But I kept it up for months.  As well as this, I made it a mission to read the Bible cover-to-cover, and to repeat that cycle endlessly – until I could almost memorise sections.  I made it a mission to leave no stone unturned – by investigating every Scripture or book that I was confused about – with the aid of audio commentaries.  I didn’t rush though.  Genesis may take 3 months.  So what!  Why rush through when reading the Bible is a lifetime pilgrimage.

Time went by and my prayers naturally became longer.  Joy started coming back into my heart.  I stopped the antidepressants cold (which you should never do) and amazingly felt no side effects or withdrawal, or need for them ever again.  Rather, I felt better – happy, emotionally stable, and full of love for Yahweh again.  From there I went from strength to strength, by His grace.  I stayed in prayer at least once every morning, and read or listened to Scripture or a commentary on it, DAILY – during lunch and commuting. 

Then, about 3 years later, I sought the baptism of the Holy Spirit.  I had heard much about it and been taught that it should have happened already, with the laying on of hands after my water baptism.  But that wasn’t good enough for me.  It didn’t feel like anything happened back then and what I read in the Bible sounded dramatic.  So,  I made it my only life goal to seek the baptism of the Holy Spirit above all things.  After much seeking, it happened for me (thank you Yahweh!) and now I doubt I could ever fall away to that dark place again, by His grace and the guidance of His Spirit.

In summary, it wasn’t brother or sisters who pulled me back.  Thankfully not, as my faith and reliance would be partially grounded in them!  Instead, I had even felt judgment and criticism from some unfortunately.  But our walk is, fundamentally, an individual one.  Therefore, don’t compare yourself or assume any kind of support from the Church.  If it’s there, great.  In my experience, it wasn’t.  

So my message to you is to keep your faith simple.  Offer a simple but honest sacrifice of thanksgiving to Yahweh, every morning and evening.  Make it your mission to understand every book of the Bible, leave no grey areas!  Fully commit yourself to that journey, as this is your lifetime pilgrimage with the Father, as He talks to you through His Word – even in obscure passages.  Above all things, seek the baptism of the Holy Spirit (if you haven’t been baptized already).  This is paramount.

Again, keep your walk simple, pure and holy between you and Yahweh, through the Lord Jesus.  As you keep this up, some wonderful things will happen for you and, one day, you’ll find the idea of falling away again as repulsive.  Because as you draw near to Him, He’ll draw near to you with much love and grace, and give you an endless shalom.  Only then will you be ready for serving Him with your gifts.  It might take 1 month it might take 10 years.  Proceed as if it’s the former but be prepared for if it’s the latter.  

Love & Shalom

[kevana]

To Diane,

YES ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have

And for many,many years, and yet as I fell away into really bad places, HE  the Holy Spirit would show up, you know that's why we come back,,, HE reach's out

you know this because of His love for us...

In fact I have only been back for less than 6 months but finally, after I have probably exhausted all attempts to make it through this life under my own steam.

So I surrended ; I fully gave all of myself to him was renewed, restored forgiven washed anew,, given a renewed spirit revelation restored and then just 4 days later

sinned again, by my standards very small sin but enough to cry out ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LORD WHAT MUST I DO    , , , , , ,   not to fall away again !!!!!!!

and HE said go and sin no more, so I said to HIM how ???

Short version Genesis 4 : all of Cains problems were now as mine,

So I said what could this show me ???

 And HE said to me Cain did not have to follow thru on the temptation inflicting him,

So I said LORD I finally get it,,, NOT TO WILLFULLY SIN   to make a decision every day to not willfully sin which is in my prayers to HIM every morning since and

praise HIM  I'm doin ok ,, with help from psalm 19 : 13

This works for me because it lines up with HIS Word and I have a relationship with HIM and as months go by I am falling further in love with HIM..

I dont know many Christians due to my long absence but I know HIM ,,,,, dont bother with people simply find a love for them.

Hope this helps you Diane

kev.

 

 

 

 

[diane32]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply with such openess, honesty, love and care...wow to your testimonies of what you been through and by the grace of God came through and for encouraging me. I do have great Christian friends, I also have great judgers lol but u understand everyone is walking their own walk and all that matters is God and what He says and anything good in my life is only because of Him. Part of me lings to turn back and part of me is afraid. I am so thankful to God that I found this chatsite because there are so many truly genuine Christians on here and you are making a difference by the grace of God. I didn't know what to expect when I posted the above post but I cried when I read what you all had to say. From the bottom of my heart thank you all so much and I pray God encourages and strengthens you all in Jesus name ?

[Tzephanyahu]

May Yahweh bless you richly @diane32. May your walk tomorrow be bolder than yesterday.

What a wonderful, loving, kind Father we have! Despite how we act and fall, He is always faithful in picking us up and guiding us by the hand again. 

HalleluYah! 

[Still Alive]

3 hours ago, diane32 said:

I gave my life to God 11 years ago this August, praise God for His mercy! I have fallen away quite a few times but always came back stronger in the Lord and in the power of His might! Today I am not walking with the Lord as I should be and just wondered if anyone here ever fell away from God for a long time and then turned back? And did other believers judge you or did they love you? Did your brothers and sisters help draw you back or did they push you away further? 

C. S. Lewis once said something like this: "There are times when I feel like my Christian walk is going pretty good. There are other times when I think I'm not measuring up and not all that close to where I should be. It is at those times that I am probably closer to Him."

Remember, your works are not what save you. Grace saved you. Your works are simply a manifestation of that. You are being perfected until the day you die. It is not an easy process. It ebbs and flows. The important thing is knowing that you are his, no matter what you "do". 

That is freeing. It frees you to continue to keep up the good race, no matter how you "feel". You are dad's son. Yes, he may have to bail you out of jail for something. Yes, he may have to nag you to clean up your room, but he's not writing you out of the will. That inspires me to do the right thing, not because it ensures I get my cut of the will, but because I acknowledge that he is my dad, even after I've screwed something up.

I'm free to do better in spite of my past. Even if that past is ten minutes ago.

 

 

[BeauJangles]

2 hours ago, Justin Adams said:

One can easily find oneself 'far away' and the implication of that feeling is that God is ALSO far away.

The ones that think they are home and dry are also at risk since there is nothing quite so influential as someone that thinks they 'got it made'. 

Amen to that, and I would have to admit to stumbling along the pathway. And more than once. Thankfully, the Lord always managed to help me back on track. The family of God should always be willing to accept the Prodigal back into the fold. One time I saw a bumper sticker that said - If you feel far away from God, guess who moved? 

 

Proverbs 21:16  For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.  KJV 

Galatians 6:1  Brethren, if any man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one, in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.  KJV

[Pekoudah]

The race ain't over till it's over. Sometimes we seem to just be wasting time....but then we get so tired of losing out in the Lord that even that failure gives us the drive to get back with God. So then even slack times can teach us something about our true need of God. So in reality nothing is wasted.

 

It's like the story of the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. But then we might have times where we take a nap under the tree in our Christian walks. When we wake up and come to our senses our desire will be to redeem the time...which gives us the impetus to drive forward. Had we not slept would we have run the race with such vigour? So I think things balance themselves out somewhat if we are called in the Lord and His laws are written on our hearts.

 

i think at times we are the hare in the story and at times the tortoise.

 

But we are learning to sleep less...waste less time...in short we grow even though the progress is very uneven to begin with. That growth WILL even out so that it becomes a steady climb...over time. We must persevere and be patient since God is faithful and HE WILL get us there given our patient attitude and willingness to please the Lord.

 

So hang in there and run to win!